Chapter 8
Elizabeth woke up more excited than she had been in a long time.
She did not understand why meeting with Mr Darcy had all of a sudden become so important to her.
After the talk with the Colonel and Charlotte she had reviewed how foolish, vain and prejudiced she had really been, and she was resolved to act in a more decorous fashion.
She really had behaved appallingly towards Mr Darcy.
Yes, he was insufferable, arrogant and even cruel, but she was not and her behaviour should not be dictated by others but by her own character.
She still liked Mr Wickham and appreciated his warmth and open manners while his behaviour towards the man who had wronged him had been unimpeachable.
She should follow his example rather than adopt a peevish approach, attitude which resembled more Mr Darcy’s own atrocious conduct than the gentleman who had been injured.
As she was pondering these issues she felt a prick of anxiety regarding Mr Wickham.
The Colonel had also been less than complimentary about the Militia man.
She could not forget his reaction when she had told him about what Mr Wickham had related to her, regarding his dealings with his cousin.
The Colonel had been positively enraged.
She comprehended that as an honourable officer, and as one so nearly connected to the family, being moreover, Mr Darcy’s chosen confidant, he would naturally incline to his cousin’s cause.
Yet might there not be more to the affair than she had hitherto been made acquainted? Had not every story two sides?
Upon what grounds had she so readily determined Mr Darcy to be the aggressor and Mr Wickham the injured party?
What had induced her to decide the matter with such haste?
Might the Colonel’s judgment be just? That her aversion to Mr Darcy had arisen solely from the mortification of her pride and her partiality for Mr Wickham merely the consequence of his engaging manners and dazzling charm?
Such thoughts irritated her immeasurably since it made her feel as immature and empty-headed as Lydia. That will not do!
So, she dismissed them quickly; Mr Darcy is no angel so stop trying to redeem the man.
He is wicked and his favourite pastime seems to be drawing a wedge between young couples in love and breaking them up, for no better reason other than the fact that he can.
It is no surprise, since he has no idea what love is; after all, his future bride is an insipid, sickly woman, who has no conversation or the desire to acquire it.
Elizabeth felt a stab of guilt immediately.
Something was happening to her and she was not sure if she liked this new version of herself, a version that daily revealed a terrifying new meanness.
Miss de Bourgh might be insipid, but she hardly deserved such viciousness from Elizabeth.
In fact the young lady deserved nothing but Elizabeth’s compassion, for Anne's present was the company of a rude and unfeeling mother, while her future was tied up with the most infuriating man of her acquaintance.
And for that Miss de Bourgh deserved pity, not scorn.
She dressed with care, taking advantage of the maid who knew more than just how to chop potatoes.
Her hair was done in a flattering style and she smiled, pleased at her reflection in the mirror.
She had no idea why she was taking so much care to meet Mr Darcy, to hear him spout flimsy excuses for his behaviour, actions that had brought nothing less than despair to her most beloved sister.
Regardless of her reasons she had promised him that she would listen to his explanation, therefore it was now simply too late to change her mind.
***
When she entered the breakfast room Mr Darcy was not in attendance; instead she found Lady Catherine, Dr Denville and the Colonel breaking their fast in peaceful silence, which was unusual whenever Lady Catherine was present.
“Good morning,” Elizabeth curtseyed to the occupants of the room. Dr Denville and the Colonel got up and bowed respectfully. Lady Catherine simply ignored her.
She made her way to the side-board and helped herself to a healthy amount of food. She had eaten very little in the last three days and her stomach was growling in protest.
She looked at the Colonel and decided to have another attempt at bridging the gap that had opened between them lately, “did you sleep well, Colonel?” She smiled disarmingly.
Prior to that miserable day when he had told her of Mr Darcy’s perfidy they had been easy with each other, they had been friends. But since then there was a fragile armed neutrality between them, that could erupt into a fully fledged war at any moment.
“Yes thank you Miss Bennet, I did, how about you madam?”
Elizabeth thought to tease him, but the tension between them was still too palpable for light bantering, “Yes, I did Colonel,” she bit her lower lip, “but more to the point, I have made a resolution.”
He raised his brows, “yes? What have you decided?”
“I have decided that I do not like storms… especially vicious ones.”
His face split into a beautiful smile, “I am glad to hear it. I also detest storms, especially storms on a clear and bright day.”
Lady Catherine lifted her eyes from her plate, “what storms? What are you two babbling about?”
The colonel cleared his throat, “nothing of consequence aunt. Just banter between friends.” Turning immediately to Elizabeth he added, “Darcy will be pleased to hear about it Miss Bennet.”
She smiled, “he already knows. I informed him last night?”
“Last night?” Lady Catherine screeched, “When did you talk to Darcy last night? I was under the belief that Darcy was indisposed and never left his room last night.”
Elizabeth realised too late her mistake and she looked at the Colonel for help. He shook his head and looked down, focusing on his food.
Elizabeth sighed; there was nothing for it than to tell the truth, “I saw Mr Darcy briefly in the library my lady, just before I retired for the night. He was looking for a book to help him sleep, as was I.”
Lady Catherine screwed her eyes in suspicion, “what book did you choose?”
Elizabeth had completely forgotten that in the end she had left the library with no book. She had no idea what the library at Rosings had to offer since she had not even taken a glance at the books available.
“It was meant to bore me and send me to sleep directly. And I am happy to report that it did the job fabulously well for I simply cannot remember the name of it or what it was about.” Elizabeth held her breath expecting the lady to explode in fury; instead she simply harrumphed and returned to her food.
However, Lady Catherine was no fool... she was convinced something was afoot between her nephew and the Bennet chit. She decided to keep a sharp eye for anything untoward and cut any designs by the young lady with speed and precision. Her daughter’s interests must be preserved at all cost.
***
Darcy woke up feeling better than he had any right to, since he had had more brandy in the last twenty four hours than ever before in his life.
He looked at the pocket watch sitting on his bed-side table and realised this was earlier than the time he normally got up, when visiting his aunt. The sun was yet to poke its head up.
He rang for his valet and ordered the man to dress him for a long ride. The clearer his head was, the better it would be when he talked to Elizabeth.
He experienced a degree of satisfaction, scarcely to be acknowledged even to himself, on his reflection that she was at last disposed to hear him.
Her assurance that she would no longer run to avoid him imposed upon him a necessity of the greatest caution, in the statement of his concerns; for though he felt them strongly, he was sensible that too frank an expression might defeat his purpose.
He wished to convey to her his deep disapprobation of the lack of manners prevailing in her family: the want of propriety so often displayed by her mother and even occasionally, her father.
The levity and childish behaviour of her younger sisters and the impropriety of their being so frequently and conspicuously out in society.
On this point, however reluctantly, he could not but concur with the opinion of his formidable aunt, that the younger Bennet sisters being introduced into the world before the marriage of the eldest could only be injurious to Elizabeth’s prospects, as well as to those of her sister Jane.
He pondered all these things and decided that he would broach those subjects with her at another time, maybe when they had grown a little closer to each other.
Darcy rode a lot further than he had intended as the day was brilliantly clear with a soft breeze that reinvigorated him. He had to sweat out all the alcohol that he imbibed the day before. He needed a clear head.
As a result of his long ride, he missed breakfast with Elizabeth.
As he was getting cleaned up and dressed a second time, Richard walked into his room and slapped his back with vigour,
“So you had a late night encounter with Miss Bennet in the library, huh?” He laughed, “What happened? Did you kiss her?”
“What?” Darcy looked fearsome, “what are you babbling about Richard?”
“She looked very fetching this morning; I think she was dressed to impress you.”
“Richard, can you please start again? I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Of Miss Bennet, of course.”
“What about Miss Bennet?” Darcy asked exasperated.
“She looked beautiful, more rested and more composed. In fact I had not seen her looking so good since that fateful day in the grove when I spoke of you separating Bingley and her sister.” Richard continued cautiously, “she seemed disappointed you were not at breakfast.”
Darcy tried not to smile but the corners of his mouth lifted a little despite his efforts.
“Did she?” He said dreamily. “Do you think she is softening towards me?”
“I do not think she is softening, I know she is softening.”
“How can you be so confident?”
Richard wiggled his eyebrows confidently, “One thing that we both know about her is that she is an intelligent and sharp-witted lady. She listens to reason and I think between Mrs Collins and I, well... we may have helped her... guided her towards the light.... and of course I know women better than you.” He smirked.
Darcy rolled his eyes and ignoring the last part he asked, “What do you mean, what did you say to her?”
Richard touched Darcy’s shoulder again in support, “it doesn’t matter what I said, what matters here is what you will say and I beg you Darcy do not ruin it.
You may have only one shot at it. Do not waste it by telling her how low she is in comparison to you…
or how you struggled with your affections in Hertfordshire and above all do not disparage her family.
And for God’s sake do not even mention her connections to trade. ”
Darcy flattened his lips and pretended that those very thoughts had not crossed his mind only a few hours earlier, “Of course not Richard, how stupid do you think I am?”
“Very stupid I’m afraid. I know how tongue tied you become in front of a woman, especially one who affects you as much as Miss Bennet does.”
“There has never been a woman who affects me as much as Miss Bennet does.”
“Precisely, my point exactly,” Richard chuckled.
Darcy shook his head in annoyance, “Of course I would never insult her while trying to woo her! My goodness, you must think I am a simpleton.”
“Then why did you say to her that she was not handsome enough to tempt you to dance?”
Darcy paled; he walked straight to the window and leaned heavily on the window-seal. “Did she hear that comment? Good God, what have I done?”
Richard looked confused, “of course she heard you; did you not say it to her?”
“No of course not; I said it to Bingley, who was pestering me to dance. I did not know she was near enough to hear me.”
“Well she was and she heard you loud and clear. She also said that you refused to be introduced to the members of the community that night.” Now it was Richard’s turn to look despondent, “why on earth did you agree to go to an assembly if you were in such foul mood?”
Darcy shook his head and looked ready to start drinking again, his good humour from earlier gone or completely forgotten, “I had no choice; Miss Bingley was threatening to stay behind with me if I refused to go. Then when I arrived there Bingley would not leave me alone.” He raked his hair in torment, “I was still reeling from the situation with Wickham and Georgiana.” He actually had tears in his eyes, “my mood was not just bad, it was black. Poor Elizabeth bore the brunt of it.”
“Well not all is lost yet for she did promise to listen to you today, did she not?”
“Yes,” Darcy said brightening up.
“Then make the most of it and apologise for that absurd comment as well, since it is quite obvious she is indeed handsome enough to tempt you to quite a few things.”
“She truly is. She has no idea how tempting she is.”
“Yes,” Richard said thoughtfully.
Darcy frowned and squinted his eyes at his cousin, “what do you mean by that?”
“Oh for goodness’s sake Darcy, I am a man of flesh and blood,” he exclaimed.
“I am not insensible to her beauty; yet that alone does not render me a scoundrel, ready to profit from your failure and seize her the moment you turn your back.” He fixed his cousin with a stern look, “Do you trust me so little?”
“Oh Richard please forgive me. Elizabeth has turned me into an insecure fool.”
Richard sighed, “Are we not all fools in love?”
Darcy also sighed in resignation, “some of us more than others.”
Richard chuckled, “on that you are correct, but do not waste any more time here, she is waiting for you.”
Darcy shook his cousin’s hand and left the bedchamber with a lightness of step that he made no attempt to conceal.