Chapter 10
Elizabeth had two engagements between Lady Matlock’s ball and her next assembly at Almack’s. Somehow, though the company at each of these engagements was the same as it was at all the other parties she had attended, they felt flatter than she thought they should.
Though she knew he would not attend these events, Elizabeth found herself looking for Mr. Darcy. When she was conversing with a gentleman whose conversation was boring or annoying, she couldn’t help comparing him to Mr. Darcy’s entrancing company.
In short, Elizabeth missed the gentleman from Derbyshire.
She chastised herself for it. After all, it made little sense that she would feel so after only meeting him three times. However, she could not deny it, either. She consoled herself with the hope that she would see him at Almack’s.
She did.
The moment she walked through the door, she caught a glimpse of his dark brown hair. It was easy to spot since he was two or three inches taller than any other gentleman in the room.
The room was crowded and constantly shifting, so she could not easily make her way over to him immediately, but it was still a comfort to know that he was there.
Mr. Darcy must have seen her, for it was not long until he was standing in front of her, his eyes warm with delight, though his lips showed no smile as usual.
“Good evening, Lady Elizabeth,” he said.
“It is good to see you, Mr. Darcy,” she replied. She knew she should say something else, but no words would come. She felt awkward as she simply stared at him. He seemed to feel the same way, since he did not speak either.
Elizabeth managed to shake off her stupor by asking after his sister. From there, the conversation flowed as it always did. It was clear to Elizabeth that Mr. Darcy could talk about Miss Darcy more easily than he could discuss any other subject.
Eventually, their conversation was interrupted by the beginning of the dancing, but before he left her side, he asked for her last dance of the evening, saying that it would be easier to bear the rest of the night if he had that to look forward to.
As she was led to the floor by another gentleman, Lord Stephen, the son and heir to a duke, she wished that there was an intermission or a supper that she could spend with Mr. Darcy. But at Almack’s there was no such thing, only refreshments consisting of lemonade, ratafia, and bread with butter.
Elizabeth did her duty. She smiled, laughed, and chatted with every gentleman she danced with, but it all felt a bit hollow…until her dance with Mr. Darcy.
Once she was again in his company, the room lit up, and everything was right once again.
~~~~~
The following two weeks were much the same as the previous one. When she was thinking of Mr. Darcy or was in his company, the world was rosy and warm. When she was not, it felt colder and more blank.
Even so, it was not as cold as her life at Longbourn had been, where the only real company she had was Jane and Miss Mary King, while everyone else actively shunned her. At least here in London, she was not lonely.
Though many of her new friends were obviously only friendly because of her status, it was still nice to have people to talk with, to shop with, and to keep her company at balls and parties.
As February passed, Elizabeth had more male callers and more invitations for drives and walks with these gentlemen.
She gave none of them any encouragement, and she declined all invitations except the one from Lord Stephen.
Lady Priscilla had warned Elizabeth that even she did not have enough status to truly deny such a man.
For a time, Elizabeth wondered why Mr. Darcy had not called. She was certain he enjoyed her company as much as she did his. It did not take her long, however, to realize that a man with no title and no hope of a title would not truly be able to call at the residence of The Duke of Essex.
The thought that such a difference in their status would likely mean that he would never propose tried to make itself known, but Elizabeth pushed it away immediately. She was not thinking of marriage. She was still attempting to get used to who she was and what her station in life was.
The day after the last assembly at Almack’s, as she was sitting down to breakfast with her father and Lady Priscilla, her father said, “I have heard that you have been paying particular attention to Mr. Darcy.”
Elizabeth glanced at Lady Priscilla, attempting to determine if it was she who had informed her father of such a thing. Lady Priscilla stared at her plate as she buttered her bread, giving no indication that she was even aware of her surroundings.
Then she turned her attention to the duke. “I do not know what you mean, Father,” she said. “I do not dance with him more than once at any event, just as I do not do so with any other gentleman. He hasn’t even called here.”
“Of course he hasn’t called here,” boomed her father. Elizabeth jumped at the sudden noise. “I was friendly enough with his father, but young Darcy knows better than to think himself welcome in my home.”
Elizabeth thought that very likely. She drew in a breath to calm her sudden fright. “Then I am afraid I do not know to what you are referring,” she said.
“I have heard that you chat with him at length at the beginning and end of every Almack’s assembly in addition to giving him one of your dances. I have heard that you have even ignored gentlemen far more suited than he in the process. You cannot deny it.”
“Very well, Father,” said Elizabeth. “I admit that I talk with him. I do not understand your concern. It is just simple conversation.”
“Must I say it again?” he boomed, though not quite as loud as before. “He is not worth your time. You would be better off giving your attention to men who are much more equal to you in station. Even in wealth, you are his superior.”
Elizabeth did not wish to admit it, but her father was correct, at least somewhat. A lady’s pin money was usually expected to be around ten percent of her husband’s annual income. With her dowry of fifty thousand pounds, she would be a more equal match to a man with twice Mr. Darcy’s income.
Even so, Elizabeth was not certain she could forego Mr. Darcy’s company. Though he may not have been her social or financial equal, he was very much her intellectual equal, and that was a pleasure she could not ignore.
“I understand, Father,” said Elizabeth. She did not truly agree to follow his edict, but she hoped this would pacify him for now.
He looked at her sharply, and for a moment Elizabeth thought he understood that she had not agreed to stop speaking with Mr. Darcy, but he said nothing and returned to eating.
After breakfast, once Elizabeth and Lady Priscilla were settled into the parlor for the morning, Elizabeth asked, “Are you the one who informed my father of Mr. Darcy?”
Lady Priscilla sighed and put down the embroidery she was working on.
She looked at Elizabeth with more sadness than usual.
“I am one of them,” she said. “You must believe me when I say I did not wish to. However, it is one of the things he pays me for. I withheld the information as long as I could, but when he began to hear rumors from others, I had to tell him what I know. He was rather angry that I had said nothing about it earlier.”
Elizabeth contemplated Lady Priscilla for several moments before formulating a reply. The Lady had very little to call her own, not even her own son. Her position, her very life, was reliant on the goodwill of Elizabeth’s father.
“I understand,” said Elizabeth. She reached out and squeezed the older lady’s hand briefly. “I am very grateful to you, you know.”
Shock showed on Lady Priscilla’s face as she said, “You are?”
Elizabeth nodded firmly. “I am. I don’t mean that I am grateful that you tell my father about my behavior.
That is something that cannot be helped.
However, I am grateful for your guidance and your company.
You have been an enormous support to me.
Truly, I do not know how I would have managed London society without you. ”
Pleasure gradually suffused Lady Priscilla’s face.
At first, it surprised Elizabeth, but she gradually realized that Lady Priscilla had never received much in the way of praise or gratitude.
She had shared enough of how she was raised with Elizabeth for the young lady to know that Lady Priscilla’s upbringing was rather strict and cold.
Even if it had not been, however, her adult life had been overshadowed by poor treatment from her husband. Even the “help” Elizabeth’s father was giving the Lady came with strings, conditions, and caveats.
Gradually, Lady’s Priscilla’s expression settled into a gentle smile. “I am glad,” she said.
The two ladies said nothing for a while. When they did speak again, it was on an entirely different topic.