11. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Matt
T he living room is warm and cosy, the fire crackling softly in the background as Ghostbusters plays on the TV.
“I can’t believe you’re still wearing that,” Nat giggles and pokes me with her toes. Her feet are pressed against my thighs. She is using me as her personal heater again, like she always did back when we were married.
“Hey. It’s tradition,” I grin, stroking proudly over my Ghostbusters overalls. “But to be honest, these are the third ones. A little boy spewed green vomit all over the first ones, and Venkman peed on the second ones, unbeknownst to me. By the time I found them, the stain was permanent.”
Nat laughs out loud, the first laugh I’ve heard from her since the monster beat her up and it warms my heart, having her here feels… right. It’s Halloween and it’s always been our thing. I can’t help but think back to the time when we were in our early twenties, that first Halloween when we slept together. Feels like a lifetime ago.
The credits start to roll and I stretch, yawning dramatically. “You know, this film never gets old,” I say, grinning at her.
“Maybe we’re just feeling more nostalgic,” she sighs.
“Probably a bit of both,” I agree, switching off the TV. I glance at the fire then back at her. “Fancy lying down in front of the fire? We haven’t done that in ages.”
She hesitates but nods and grabs a couple of cushions as we shift down onto the rug. We lie there side by side staring up at the ceiling, the warmth from the fire seeping into our bones. It feels good, familiar.
After a while I break the silence. “What do you think the future holds for you, Nat?”
She’s quiet for a moment, and when she finally speaks, her voice is small and uncertain. “I don’t know. I just want to stop feeling scared all the time, you know? I want to feel safe again.”
“You will,” I say, trying to inject as much confidence into my voice as I can. “You’ve already done the hardest part, getting away from him. The rest... we’ll figure out together.”
She turns her head to look at me, her eyes searching mine. “What if I can’t?”
“You can,” I tell her firmly. “You’re stronger than you think, Nat. Anyone who makes it through a rela—situation like that is a warrior.”
"Can I ask you something?" She rolls onto her tummy, resting her head on her folded arms.
"Anything you want," I say, turning to face her.
"You know when you told me that a real man doesn’t lash out?"
"Yeah?"
"Is that something you figured out on your own, or…?"
"My grandpa," I say, the memory of him making me smile. "You know my parents and I never really got on. After you and I divorced my dad told me he'd warned me that becoming a vet wouldn't make enough money to keep a wife."
She gasps, her eyes wide. "I knew your dad always wanted you to go into finance or corporate law but you never told me he was that materialistic."
"Yeah well, I think that's where I got the stupid idea that I needed to offer you some boujee lifestyle. It took losing you to realise how wrong I was."
"Matt—"
"I’m sorry. I really am." I reach out, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But to answer your question, my grandpa was different. He especially didn’t believe in physical confrontation and always said there’s not much that can’t be solved by talking."
"I’m sorry I never got to meet him," she whispers. My grandpa died a few years before we got married.
"He would have liked you," I say softly. "He always told me to find a girl who makes me smile, even when we’re not naked." That makes Nat laugh again.
“Why are you still single?”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “I’ve been in a couple of relationships. But they just didn’t work out. Maybe I’m too picky, or maybe…” I trail off, unsure how much to say.
“Maybe what?” she prompts, turning onto her side to face me fully.
“Maybe I’ve never really let go of the past,” I admit, meeting her gaze. “Of us.”
Her eyes widen a bit and for a second neither of us says anything. The atmosphere feels heavier, the air thick with things we haven’t said for years. “You mean you haven’t moved on?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.
I nod. “I guess I haven’t.”
There’s a long pause and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. “Matt…” she starts but then she stops, biting her lip like she’s trying to decide what to say next.
I reach out, my fingers brushing against hers, and I feel a shiver run through me. “I’ve missed you,” I say softly, the words coming out before I can stop them. “More than I realised.”
She looks at me, her eyes filled with something I haven’t seen in years. “I’ve missed you too,” she whispers, and just like that it’s like we’re back in time, the years falling away.
I cup her cheek, my thumb brushing against her skin. “Nat… this is not the right time. You need time to heal. Not just physically. Emotionally. But know this, I’ll never stop hoping.” I roll back onto my back.
“You’re right,” she says as her hand lands on my chest. “It’s definitely not the time to start a relationship. Maybe one day. But…” She draws slow circles on my chest before getting up and straddling me. “…but just for one night give me some peace, some comfort and some love. Please Matt?” A lone tear is rolling over her cheek. I sit up and gently kiss away the tear.
Her arms slide around my neck and she pulls me into a tight hug and I can’t do anything other than hug her back.
When we break apart, she locks eyes with me. The left side of her face is now no longer bright red but covered in dark purple and yellow bruises, yet she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
Nat leans in and I do too, our lips meeting in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s slow, careful, like we’re both afraid of moving too fast, of breaking whatever this is that’s happening between us. But it feels good, familiar in all the best ways.
When we finally pull back our foreheads rest together. “More,” she whispers.
I don't waste another second. My hands are in her hair, my lips on her neck, and she's moaning softly. I trail kisses down the column of her throat and across the expanse of her collarbone, slowly making my way down to the swell of her breasts.
At the same time, I slide my hand under her hoody. She isn’t wearing a bra and her skin is soft and warm as I stroke and knead, paying special attention to her nipples that harden under my touch. She arches into me, a low moan escaping from deep within her chest.
I push the hoody over her head and the minute it drops to the floor I gently suck one of her hard peaks into my mouth.
“I missed this. I missed you,” she breathes. Hearing her words fills me with warmth. I know that this is only going to be one night. Then we have to take it slow. I meant it when I said, she needs time to heal. But this one night is a promise that there might be more for us in the future and that alone is worth risking it all for and opening my heart to her.
I roll us to the side so she ends up on her back and I hover over her. Our eyes are locked as she wiggles out of her leggings.
“Get naked Matt.” She demands and I don’t hesitate to strip off. I would give this woman my life, giving her my body is not a hardship.
When we’re both naked I lay down next to her and slowly let my fingertips slide over her body, from her shoulders all the way down to the seam of her pussy.
I can feel the wet heat between her thighs and I know I need to taste her. My lips follow the same trail as my fingers just a few minutes earlier. As I continue my descent, peppering kisses along the curve of her stomach, I can smell her arousal and my cock twitches excitedly. When I finally reach the apex of her thighs she's dripping with need for me.
I part her folds with my fingers and dive in with my tongue, swirling and lapping at her clit like it's the most delicious thing I've ever tasted. And it is - she is - like fucking heaven on earth.
She bucks against me as I bring her closer and closer to the edge, those beautiful moans getting louder and more desperate with each passing second. Her hands are in my hair, pulling me impossibly closer as she rides out her orgasm on my tongue.
When she finally comes back down from that mind-shattering high, Natalie pulls me up by the shoulders until we're face to face again. There's a fire in those hazel eyes now as she reaches for my cock.
“Nat, I don’t have a condom here.”
“I’m on the pill. Me and … we used condoms but I still didn’t want to risk it,” she whispers. “Please Matt, I need you.”
That’s all it takes for me to sink into her. Feeling her, feeling everything, is almost too much. I’ve dreamed of this moment even if I thought it would never happen again.
We’re both still savouring the feeling of being close. Then her lips find mine and the spell is broken and I start moving.
She lifts her hips and grinds against me in a delicious rhythm that has me seeing stars. I grab onto her hips and push back, thrusting into her deep and hard.
She cries out as her orgasm washes over her, her body convulsing around me. I feel her muscles contract around my cock, milking me as I thrust up into her. It’s too much and I can’t hold back any longer. With a final groan I release myself into her, filling her as she rides out her orgasm.
As we lay there, tangled together and catching our breath, I can't help but feel happy and sad all at once.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“No. Thank you,” I reply and press my lips to the top of her head.
“Matt. You’re right. Going straight into another relationship would be mad, a safety blanket.” I nod even if the words hurt. “But please don’t give up on me. Give me time but don’t give up,” she pleads with big eyes filled with tears.
“Never.”