14. Chapter 14
14
R ebecca might have just accomplished the previously impossible by screwing over the Bloodshadow Court and all their plans for everything they so desperately wanted her to be, true.
But if she acted on her rage and its violent impulses aimed directly at Rowan now, she’d be doing the exact same thing to Shade.
She would not screw them over too.
She would not lead her task force into an even more impossible situation simply because she couldn’t control herself.
She would not bring a death sentence down on all their heads by hurting Rowan right now, the way she really wanted to. Compared to what she could have done, that bashed-open lip beside a quickly swelling jaw she’d just given him were mere scrapes.
Despite all the rage swarming through her and the overwhelming desire to make him pay for every complex layer of his betrayal, to hurt him so badly he would never come back from it, she pulled herself together and made a better choice for all of them.
He widened his eyes again as she stared him down, as if he fully expected another round of punches to the face, and said nothing.
In that moment, it might have been what saved him.
Holding his gaze, she leaned toward him just enough to be sure he heard her when she dropped her voice into a low, warning murmur. “Fuck you, Rowan.”
Her voice came out flatter and more emotionless than she’d realized she could make it. Dead-sounding, almost.
Well, if he was smart, if he actually considered anyone but himself for more than half a second and thought about the consequences he’d produced for others, maybe he’d get the message.
She’d done the spell with him. She would still search for the prophecy with him, because it held the only glimmer of hope for Rebecca’s personal escape from her unwanted fate within the Bloodshadow Court.
But beyond that, the Blackmoon Scion—the light he’d once been in her life—was dead to her now.
He might as well hear it in her voice now and start getting used to it.
Rowan said nothing as he gazed into her eyes. Studying her. Giving nothing away.
He had absolutely nothing to say.
Rebecca whirled away from him and stormed off to march aimlessly across the open land beneath the dome. She had no idea what to do next. No idea what could be done next.
All she wanted now was to be literally anywhere else but here.
Rowan had promised to help her find the prophecy, to free her from her duty beneath the Bloodshadow Court’s fist, but now she knew he’d made that promise only because he’d already stuck her in a different prison of his own making first. And left her with no way out.
This wasn’t where anyone wanted to be, yet here they were.
This was going to be a long road toward anything resembling safety and security. After the way her operatives had responded to discovering just how thoroughly trapped they were inside Rowan’s dome, Rebecca had no doubt that “conflict resolution” with Rowan and his Hakalini’ir was out of the question.
Of course, it all depended on how badly everyone wanted to get out of this place. Would they wait out the forty-eight hours—or however long they still had left—or would they suck it up and try to make nice with their elven captors, who looked and acted more like pristinely lifelike statues than real, living, breathing, feeling people?
That didn’t increase the odds of beating this forty-eight-hour timer.
*
Eventually, once she’d settled down enough to think clearly again, Rebecca called together a small group of the most capable and level-headed operatives here, the ones she knew best, to fill them in on exactly what Shade faced now and the proof she and Maxwell had gathered of just how complicit in their current circumstances Rowan really was.
It was the next best thing to having her actual Shade council with her, though half of them had stayed behind at the compound, as they normally would have.
Bor and Zida never went on missions, and Rick only left the compound when his expertise in the field outweighed his usefulness with intel by remaining at Headquarters.
Whit and Leonard, however, were still here with her and Maxwell. Rebecca also requested that Nyx, Zane, and Shell join them for an ad-hoc leader council under the dome, all of whom she trusted to employ effective communication tactics with the rest of the teams scattered in small groups and clumps across their prison.
This wasn’t a meeting of minds to help Rebecca make a decision. She needed cool heads and social tact to help her disseminate the information among the others tonight. At this point, she honestly didn’t trust herself to maintain a cool head and the necessary tact to do it herself.,
Not when they were stuck with Rowan.
When Maxwell had brought the last of them together, someone lit a fire, and Rebecca and the shifter shared everything they’d learned during their infuriating parlay with Rowan inside the trailer in the woods. As well as an explanation of exactly how long Shade would be held captive under this dome if they couldn’t get over their anger.
Nobody liked what they heard, but that was expected.
“I don’t think anyone’s gonna jump up and volunteer to make one of these elves their new BFF, boss,” Zane murmured as he tossed a twig into the fire.
“I can’t order anyone to feel a certain way,” Rebecca told him, “and I’m not even gonna try. But we all do need to be on the same page about what’s really happening right now and what it would take to get out of here sooner than later.”
“Forty-eight hours isn’t all that bad,” Leonard said. “We’ve been in way worse spots before that lasted longer.”
“Not in a traitor’s prison,” Whit muttered.
Shell shook her head. “Not without enough resources, either. What about food and water?”
“Part of the standard mission gear, right?” Nyx asked with a shrug. “If everyone put their packs together the way they’re supposed to before we left, they should all have enough water and at least one of Bor’s GIYs. That’s more than enough for forty-eight hours, if we’re talking about survival.”
“Exactly.” Rebecca nodded. “It should be enough. We’re not waiting out a long-term siege. No one’s gonna starve. And as long as everyone keeps in mind that this will end eventually, within a specific timeframe, we should all manage to keep our sanity fairly intact, too. Hopefully.”
“And do we trust that the forty-eight hours really will be the limit?” Maxwell asked.
She turned to look at him, watching the shadows stretch across his tense features as the fire’s flickering flames danced at the center of the circle. “Blackmoon wouldn’t have lied about that. Does he skirt around the truth and leave out almost all the important details? That’s part of his strategy, absolutely. That’s exactly what he did here. But flat-out lies aren’t his style. If he said we’re on a forty-eight-hour timer, that’s how long we’ve got.”
“Anything else you want the others to know?” Whit asked, gazing at his Roth-Da’al with so much trust and respect and open willingness to obey, Rebecca had to look away.
Finding the same expressions on everyone else she’d gathered made her squirm.
After everything, they all still trusted her to make the best decision for Shade and its individual members, even after witnessing what had to have been an incredibly odd and confusing interaction between their Roth-Da’al and the Hakalini’ir lieutenant, not to mention with Rowan himself as Hakalini’ir Commander.
That had likely raised more questions about where the Rebecca Knox they thought they knew had been in her life, who she knew, and how she’d been able to turn an ambush into a ceasefire.
But they still trusted her enough to follow her lead, even through something like this.
She would do everything in her power to return them to safety, even if it meant making certain sacrifices along the way she otherwise never would have considered.
She looked across the fire at Whit and shook her head. “No. I want everyone to know the facts of our situation and what’s required to get through this in one piece. And I want all of you to share that information with small groups around the camp. Those elven soldiers might look like robots, but I can promise you they’re watching and listening. To everything. All the time. No need to put all our secrets or knowledge out on the table all at once. I don’t wanna run the risk of those soldiers overhearing something they think is important enough to share with their… commander .”
Leonard scoffed and shook his head. “Fucking Blackmoon. And none of us ever saw it coming.”
Not specifically. Not like this. But Rebecca had known from the very beginning that Rowan had found her and agreed to join Shade with his own dubious alternative motives running in the background. She hadn’t been the only one.
Maxwell hadn’t known a thing about Rowan, and he still didn’t, all things considered. But he had mistrusted the Blackmoon Elf from the start as well and had urged Rebecca every step of the way to get rid of him.
Even then, no, none of them could have seen this coming. Even Rebecca.
A contemplative silence descended over their little circle around the fire, then Maxwell cleared his throat. “Any questions?”
No one spoke at first, but then Whit straightened. “Not a question, but probably an important detail of our next forty-eight hours.”
The shifter nodded. “Go ahead.”
“I tried to contact headquarters. Made a direct call from my phone, then tried our comms and satellite radio. Couldn’t get a response. And nothing’s coming through on any other channels. It seems like a safe bet that it’s not just us stuck in here. Any contact beyond the dome looks like it’s been cut off as well.”
Rebecca sighed heavily. “Thanks for checking that out. Make sure you mention that to everyone else so we don’t have operatives bashing their heads against the wall trying to make contact with the outside. As long as everybody keeps calm and we don’t have a repeat of what happened earlier, we’ll be fine. It’s just a waiting game now until we’re out of here. Then we’ll take a better look at next steps.”
When no one else offered further comments or questions, Maxwell took the liberty of dismissing the last-minute meeting. Presumably because he’d picked up on the overwhelm and the sheer exhaustion of dealing with this whole thing the best way she knew how bearing down on Rebecca.
The operatives stood from around the fire and slowly took off in different directions across the dome to brief the rest of Shade’s remaining fifty.
Leonard and Nyx were the last to excuse themselves from the fire, so Rebecca couldn’t help noticing the katari moving a little slower than usual.
When Nyx pushed herself to her feet, she sucked in a sharp gasp, swayed, and staggered sideways. Leonard was right there to catch her before she would have crashed back into the dirt.
The katari sagged against him, barely able to stay on her feet, and a moan escaped her before her violet eyes rolled back in her head and her lashes fluttered like butterfly wings.
Then the mage looked terrified. “Nyx?”
He tried to set her back up on her feet, but the katari remained unresponsive, almost completely limp despite only the whites of her eyes visible beneath her fluttering lashes. “Shit. Nyx, can you hear me? Come on!”
The second it was clear Nyx hadn’t simply tripped over something, Rebecca and Maxwell were on their feet too.
“What’s going on?” Rebecca asked. “Is she all right?”
“I…” Leonard patted the katari’s cheek with one hand while gently lowering her back to the ground in his other arm. “Nyx, say something. Come on. I know you’re in there. Stay with me.”
“What is this?” Maxwell asked.
“I don’t know .” Leonard propped the back of Nyx’s head against his chest, his eyes wide in terror when he seemed to realize there was nothing he could do. “She’s never done this before. I don’t know what—”
With a searing gasp, Nyx lurched forward away from the mage cradling her and sat bolt-upright. Her eyes flew open but took a few more seconds to focus on her surroundings and register what she saw.
“Hell.” Leonard breathed in relief. “Can you hear me now?”
Nyx turned her softly glowing violet eyes onto him and whispered, “I think so. What’s…”
Then she glanced up at her Roth-Da’al and Head of Security standing over her with matching expressions of cautious alarm. “I did not expect that. Wow. I’m so sorry. That was…”
“That looked pretty rough,” Rebecca replied. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Of course.” After clearing her throat, Nyx tried to push herself to her feet.
“Whoa, hey.” Leonard grabbed her arm to pull her back down. “Maybe you should just rest for a little—”
“Leonard, I’m fine.” Brushing off his concerned hold, the katari moved even faster now to get to her feet and stepped away from the mage so he wouldn’t reach for her again. “Just a little dizzy, but I’m okay now. Good to go.”
Frowning, Leonard rose to move after her. “That didn’t look like—”
“I said I’m fine!” Her sharp snap surprised everything with its harshness. Then Nyx sighed, as if recognizing her own unwarranted aggression, and turned toward him with a calm smile. “Really. I promise, okay? Why don’t you just go find a group of others to talk to the way Knox said, yeah? I’ll be right behind you.”
The mage studied her a moment longer, his expression warring between a dubious frown and heartbreaking concern, before he finally nodded. “If you’re sure…”
“Yep. I’ll find you later.”
After glancing at both Rebecca and Maxwell in turn, neither of whom could provide an explanation he wanted, Leonard finally turned from the fire to head across the dome as instructed, though he turned back several times along the way to glance at Nyx over his shoulder.
The katari finished sipping water from the canteen in her pack, gathered the rest of her gear in silence, then looked Rebecca directly in the eye for the first time after her episode. “Sorry, Knox. That won’t happen again.”
“Honestly, I’m more concerned about why it happened then whether there’s a repeat.”
“It’s really nothing to worry about. I think I just…didn’t eat enough before we headed out tonight. That’s not anything new. I mean, my appetite always runs away screaming before a mission, you know?” She let out a soft, tinkling, nervous giggle. Perfectly normal for the katari.
But neither Rebecca nor Maxwell found that particular quirk reassuring this time.
“Normal response for a lot of people,” Maxwell grumbled.
“But a little concerning,” Rebecca added. “And that’s never been an issue for you before. Not quite like this, as far as I know.”
Nyx’s gaze whipped up from where she’d settled it on the fire to focus on Rebecca’s face, her eyes once more bright and vibrant with their normal violet glow. “Kinda feels like everything’s a new issue now, Knox.”
Rebecca dipped her head, summoning a worn smile. “Fair enough. If it happens again, though, let me know. I wanna make sure you’re okay.”
Nyx studied her for a moment, then pulled on her lower lip and finally nodded. “You got it, boss. I’ll let you know.”
“Thank you. Think you’re still feeling up to—”
“I can handle sitting around a couple more fires and talking, Knox.” A smile flickered across the katari’s lips. “Promise.”
Then she spun away from Rebecca and Maxwell at the fire to head off toward another group before either of them could say another word.
Even when Nyx found one of those small groups waiting to be briefed, looking perfectly healthy and stable once more as she sat down with them around the fire, Rebecca kept watching the katari just to be sure. Because something just didn’t feel quite right.
“That is the first I’ve seen any indication she’s not feeling like herself,” Maxwell commented beside her. “Since we brought her back from the prison.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” she said. “But Zida cleared her for duty with a clean bill of health. Even if there’s something residual in there, the healer didn’t find it. And Nyx already told us she doesn’t remember a whole lot from her time there.”
“All of those things can be true, and the residual side effects of psychological damage already inflicted during an ordeal like hers may still exist. Unseen. Unpredictable. And they can last a lot longer than anyone expects. Even Zida.”
Rebecca watched the katari now sitting with her fellow operatives to share the news. Nyx looked perfectly fine. Back to normal, even.
Rebecca tilted her head. “You’re not wrong. But we need to trust her at her word. There’s even less we can do about it, otherwise. I’m not too worried about her. She’s got Leonard.”
He folded his arms and grunted. “A luxury few of us ever truly experience.”
“Well, if anyone deserves it, I’d say Nyx does.”
When Maxwell grunted again, it sounded more like the shifter’s version of a scoff, which Rebecca still hadn’t had the pleasure of witnessing in its natural state. Then he sighed heavily and tilted his head. “ Deserving rarely factors into a thing like that.”
That made her pause.
What the hell did he mean by that ?