Episode 52
I Want You to Stay
“Here, try this one.” Rominy holds the fudge square toward Elowyn.
“What is it?” she asks.
“I think it has caramel in it.”
She smiles at him from their blanket on the floor, where they’ve been having a candy picnic in their hotel room. “Caramel. Like your eyes.”
“My eyes?”
Nodding, she opens her mouth, and he lifts the chocolate to her lips.
Her lashes dust her cheeks, and she moans when the sweet hits her tongue. “That’s delightful. My favorite so far.”
He doesn’t bother hiding his smile. She’s said that at least four times already.
“We’ll have to get more of them before we leave Wolbourne tomorrow,” he says.
“And more of the ones you like with the flaked coconut inside.”
He sends another smile her way as he packs the rest of the sweets back in the wrappings they were sent in. “I think I’ll turn into a lump of chocolate to go with my caramel eyes if I eat more tonight.”
His words draw out her smile as the fire she lit in the hearth earlier casts an orange glow on her silver hair, making it look almost golden.
“We should retire soon, anyway,” she says. “So we can get an early start tomorrow.”
She’s so excited to ride the aerial tram. He’s even more eager to watch her enjoy it than he is to experience it again himself.
He clears his throat and looks toward the door. “I asked the hotel clerk to reserve the room next to this one when I ordered the candy.” Not that he wants to leave her, especially not after waking up beside her this morning.
And after all the kisses they shared today.
Not to mention the incident with the man on the street. That thought alone makes him want to insist on staying with her tonight, but he won’t. Not unless she asks him to stay.
He won’t force himself into her bed. The thought turns his stomach.
Tentatively, he looks back at her, trying to read her face. She has that same expression she had this morning when he avoided talk of the kiss they shared in the heartlanding.
His heart speeds up at the implications. “Unless...you want me to stay?”
Her lips move as if she’s trying to decide how to respond. Maybe he misread her.
Mustering a smile, he pushes himself to his knees. “It’s all right. I’ll see you in the heartlanding.”
Before he can talk himself out of it, he leans toward her and plants a soft kiss on her lips.
Surely it’s all right to kiss her goodnight.
She tastes like chocolate this time with a hint of smokiness, and when he pulls away, her expressive eyes flit back and forth between his. Still, she says nothing.
He trails his fingers down her cheek, fighting back the yearning to stay. To never leave her again. “Goodnight, Elowyn.” Dropping his hand, he rises to leave, but she reaches for his arm.
“Don’t go.”
He searches her face. “You want me to stay?”
“I do. Please.”
Her hand is warm through his shirtsleeve, his coat long abandoned. She feels feverish. Far warmer than she should be.
“Do you need more water?” he asks softly as he lowers himself to her side again. He’s done his best to ensure her cup is never empty for long.
She shakes her head.
“Shall we...sleep then?” he asks.
She glances at the bed before returning his gaze. “Sleeping seems reasonable.”
“Elowyn.” His voice comes out low, full of all the desire filling him. Breathing out slowly, he looks away. “Your trunk is here. Shall I give you a few minutes alone?”
“Don’t leave. Please. I...want you to stay.”
His eyes snap toward her. What is she suggesting?
“My...my arm hurts,” she whispers. “I...might need help.”
“Do you want me to find you a maid?”
She shakes her head again, and he stares at her as he tries to find his voice.
“Are you asking me to help you?” he eventually manages.
She must feel his heart racing.
“I don’t want you to leave me. And if you’re here, it seems silly to...to find someone else to help me. Unless you don’t want—”
“I do.” He says it so fast she smiles in response, and he chuckles before looking down at his hands. “I’m just not sure—”
“Where this is leading?”
He looks up again and nods.
“I don’t know,” she says softly. “My arm is sore and my...my magic is hot...but...I don’t want you to leave.”
“I don’t want to leave.”
“Then stay, Rominy. Please.”
Her eyes mirror the ache growing within him, and he nods.
Stars above. What did he just agree to?
When she pushes herself up, cradling her sore arm, he hurries to help her.
Her wound really does hurt. He should have asked the doctor for some sort of pain reliever for after the anesthetic wore off, but it didn’t occur to him earlier.
“Shall I send for the doctor?” he asks. “He might have something to ease the pain.”
Elowyn offers Rominy a withering glare, and for a moment, she looks so much like Cerian that Rominy almost laughs.
He nods. “No doctor. Understood.”
As she moves toward her trunk, she wobbles, and he steadies her.
“Maybe...maybe I’ll sleep in my clothing,” she murmurs.
She’s wearing stays. He felt them when she was in his arms earlier. She can’t sleep like that.
“No. I’ll help you. It may be awkward, but...”
“As long as we’re awkward together?” A smile tugs at her lips, and he nods.
“Between the blood you lost and the medication the doctor gave you earlier, you seem not quite yourself. You’re not invincible, Elowyn.”
A soft sigh escapes her. “You’re not the first person to say as much.”
“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.” He moves in front of her and studies her gown. Stars above. The buttons are in the front. Swallowing, he meets her gaze. “Do you need help with...with everything?”
Her cheeks turn rosy, and she reaches for the buttons herself.
She’s definitely in pain. Her eyes don’t hide it well. After the third button, she whimpers.
“Elowyn.” He reaches for her hands. “I-I’ll do it.”
Relief floods her face, though her skin is like fire beneath his hands. He presses a kiss to her knuckles before letting her go and reaching for the next button.
He can do this. She needs him to do this.
Not that he doesn’t want to undress her.
Stars above. Wasn’t it just last night he was terrified to sleep beside her? And now he’s unbuttoning her gown and thinking...that?
He needs to slow down. Back off a little.
After he finishes helping her out of her dress, that is. At least she got the top buttons herself.
Where is he even supposed to look? At her? Or away? Not that he can do this without looking.
It’s a good thing he doesn’t have magic, or he’d probably light them both on fire.
As soon as the last button is undone, he steps back and glances away.
“Thank you,” she whispers. She carefully tugs what’s left of the destroyed sleeve off her shoulder and over her wound as Rominy stands awkwardly beside her. “Can you help me with the other side?” she asks.
Exhaling slowly, he nods. “Of course.”
By the time he’s done freeing her good arm from the sleeve and helping her slip out of several petticoats, he’s given up on attempting to look away. She’s wearing so many layers, even without the gown and underskirts, that she’s more covered than she often is in the heartlanding.
Still, the idea of her standing there in her underclothes while he helps her undress lends an entirely different feeling to the situation.
He eyes her corset and finds her face again. Her cheeks are flaming. Even her ears are bright pink. Is she having second thoughts?
“You don’t need to be embarrassed,” he says softly, repeating her words from the night before. “It’s just me. The other half of your heart.”
A faint smile ghosts across her face. “This is more awkward than I anticipated.”
“I can find someone else to help you if you’d like.” Not that he wants to leave now. Or ever.
“I just want you.”
His mouth goes dry, and his lungs struggle to fill properly. “All right.” He pushes the words past his cottony tongue, once he manages to take a deep enough breath to speak. As he reminds himself to breathe, he studies her stays again. “I have no idea how this comes off.”
His words draw a laugh from her, and her merriment diffuses some of the tension in the room.
He smiles her way and shrugs. “I’ve never worn one before.”
She keeps laughing, and he watches her with a stupid grin on his face until her mirth dies down.
“It has hooks in the front,” she eventually says. “And laces in the back.”
He frowns as he glances at the hooks he somehow missed. “How did you get it on by yourself this morning?”
“It was quite the undertaking. I almost abandoned it. But I didn’t want to do something scandalous. Humans seem to have stricter rules for clothing than elves do.”
Mother’s words from before the wedding about the elven delegation’s scandalous clothing fill Rominy’s head, and he sighs. “You’re not wrong.”
He studies the hooks. There’s no way to do this without touching her. Does she want him to touch her?
“The maid usually loosens the laces first,” Elowyn says as she turns her back toward him.
That makes sense. He reaches for the laces running from her upper back to her waist. His fingers barely cooperate as he loosens the ties and tugs at the strings.
It’s like unlacing a boot. That’s all. No big deal.
Stars above.
How can she be so hot? It’s as if the warmth is emanating from her entire body.
“That’s loose enough,” she says over her shoulder.
Now what? Can she undo the hooks herself?
Before he can ask her, she grits her teeth and pulls the top hooks apart. Her breathing is shallow, and pain fills her eyes.
“Elowyn, stop. Let me.”
Swaying, she nods, and he makes quick work of the remaining hooks. With the laces loosened, he manages not to touch her as he does it. Soon, all that’s left is her shift. She can probably sleep in that, right?
He’s about to ask her when she mumbles something in Elvish. Thank you, perhaps? Her eyes are glassy, and she looks pale.
Her arm shouldn’t hurt that badly. This doesn’t seem normal.
When she stumbles forward, he tosses the corset aside and catches her, lifting her to his chest.
“Elowyn, what’s going on?”
“I’m fine. Just a bit dizzy.”
She feels like fire in his arms, and he eyes her skeptically. “Maybe I should send for the doctor.”
She shakes her head. “I’m just tired. I’ll be myself again after a good night’s sleep. Thank you for catching me.” Her voice is breathy and pained, with the occasional Elvish word mixed with the Nunian.
She doesn’t sound fine, but he doesn’t argue.
“Let’s get you to bed,” he says. He carries her across the room and gently lowers her to the mattress, pulling back the covers before drawing them over her. Her normally vibrant skin has a grayish cast, but maybe that’s just from the poor lighting.
He sits at the edge of the bed and gazes down at her, and she sends him a weak smile as her eyelids flutter against her cheeks. In no time at all, she’s asleep.
What in the world just happened? Should he send for the doctor?
Maybe she’s right and she just needs sleep. It was an eventful day, and she did lose all that blood.
Unsure what else to do, Rominy strips to his own underclothes, not bothering to find the nightclothes he wore on the train, and crawls into bed beside Elowyn.
For a while, he watches her slumber, but when his eyes droop, he gives in to his own need for sleep.