Episode 160 I’ve Got You
I’ve Got You
Tharios blinks to focus. Hints of nausea tease him, but he clenches his jaw and leans into Viala’s touch on his back.
He needs to be done.
“Tharios,” Viala says softly. She presses her cheek to his neck and wraps her bare forearms around him, making as much flesh contact as possible without removing their clothing. Perhaps he should have discarded his shirt before he began so she’d have better access to his skin.
“I know,” he whispers. His voice comes out weak. He definitely needs to be done. “I’ve healed the worst of Uncle Quilian’s injuries. There’s more I could do to make him comfortable, but—”
“I’ll handle the rest.” Mother brushes back the hair that fell from the braids Tharios plaited at his temples before they left Windhaven. “You need to sleep, my little love. You’ve given enough of yourself tonight. Let someone else do the rest.”
Tharios nods, and Viala stands. The loss of her touch sends a wave of nausea through him.
Is there anywhere private they can rest, or will they have to make do here with the others?
Not that he could walk far with the way he’s feeling.
He just needs to lie down with her somewhere.
Even the floor looks inviting at the moment.
He starts to push himself off the bed, only for strong arms to pull him up and brace him around the waist.
“I’ve got you,” Father says. “And I want you to listen to me before you sleep. Are you listening?”
“I’m always listening. Even if it doesn’t seem like it at times.”
“I was harsh with you tonight—”
“It’s all right. I deserved every bit of it.”
“Hear me out. I know what regret feels like. Lives lost because I couldn’t save them. I want so much better for you.”
Tharios looks into Father’s eyes. “Does it ever go away? This knot in your stomach from knowing others were hurt by something you did?”
“It fades. But it never goes away. Not completely. You simply learn to live with it. And you learn from it so it never happens again.”
Tharios sighs. That’s what he feared.
“Most importantly,” Father continues, “I want you to know that you are mine, and even on nights like this where mistakes are made, I am proud of you. And I love you. And that will never change.”
“I never doubted it. But thank you. I think perhaps...”
“You needed to hear it all the same?”
Tharios looks away and nods.
“Then I will say it. And I will keep saying it. But for now, let’s get you the rest you need to be everything you want to be for everyone who needs you, all right?” He pats Tharios on the chest, and Tharios leans on him.
“You can sleep here, my little love,” Mother says softly. “And everything your father said goes for me, too.”
“Actually,” Cerian says from near the door as he munches on an apple, “I thought you might want somewhere more private to sleep tonight. To replenish your magic. Or...whatever.”
“I thought you gave Taliel and Jonas your shelter,” Mother says as she works her magic to finish what Tharios was too tired to do for Uncle Quilian. Hopefully, it isn’t too draining on her.
The mention of Taliel and Jonas knots Tharios’s stomach all over again.
“I grew another one,” Cerian says. “A small one. I only had three apples.” He tosses an apple core into the hearth as Arisanna clings to his arm.
Relief fills Tharios. He just wants to curl up with Viala’s skin pressed against his and forget everything for a few hours.
“Thank you,” Tharios whispers to Cerian. “I’m sorry—”
“About Nebula? So am I. I’m glad he made it home. And I’m even more glad that you’re all right.”
Cerian’s never said anything like that to him before. Not quite so clearly, at any rate. Mumbled words with huffs and glares. That’s usually Cerian’s style.
Cerian ducks under Tharios’s other arm to help support him. “It isn’t far. And it’s not much. But it has shutters for privacy.”
“It sounds perfect. Thanks, Cer.”
Anywhere alone with Viala sounds perfect right now.
Cerian leads them outside and to the left, where a simple cabin sits beside a cedar tree. It’s barely bigger than a tent, but it’s enough.
Arisanna pulls the door open to reveal a bed just big enough for two with a small nightstand, which holds a flickering lantern.
“It’s perfect,” Viala says. “Thank you.”
Cerian helps Tharios to the bed, where he collapses in his exhaustion.
“I’ll take it from here,” Viala says, and soon they’re alone. Thank the fates.
“Have I told you today that I can’t survive without you?” Tharios whispers. It’s all he can seem to muster.
“I’m not sure you’ve ever told me that, elf prince.”
She’s already pulling off her leathers, and he just watches her.
“I love you, Viala. We may not be heartbound, but you’re my stronger-together love. I hope you know that.”
“I do. Let’s get you to bed, all right?”
She helps him with his clothes, and he barely remembers lying down before sleep takes him.
“Thank you for that,” Father says to Cerian after they leave Tharios to rest. “He needs space to process what happened today.”
“Why did you get so angry with him?” Cerian asks, and Father sighs.
“Do you know how many people died in the Battle of the Wildthorne Woods?”
Cerian shakes his head.
“One hundred and twenty-seven people on all sides. I know each of their names.”
“Even the humans?” Cerian asks.
Arisanna grips Cerian’s hand tighter.
“Yes,” Father says. “I asked your father for them after the first peace talks, Arisanna.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Father. You saved lives that day.”
“Your mother tells me the same thing, but I will always wonder. If I had done things differently, would that list of names be shorter? So when I was harsh with Tharios, it was because I never wish for him to have his own list of names he carries with him everywhere he goes. Tonight, he got lucky. No one died. How would he feel right now if Jonas had passed from the light? Or Rominy, taking Elowyn with him?”
“He’d be devastated.”
“The danger we face now is real, Cerian. Mistakes can have dire consequences. The better Tharios learns that when the stakes are lower, the better a king he’ll be someday when every life in this family and these warrior bands depends on him making wise decisions.”
“He’s stronger than I am,” Cerian whispers.
“You’re all strong in your own ways. And you are the strongest when you work together.
Like what you did just now. Tharios will be ready to face the world tomorrow because of what you gave him tonight.
You may believe you got shortchanged with your magic compared to Tharios’s, but you, my elfling, are exactly who you were always meant to be.
Tharios will be stronger because he has the strongest plant wielder in Lostariel for a brother. ”
“How do you always know?” Cerian asks. “You always know what I’m thinking. What I’m feeling. Somehow, you always do.”
“Someone I love very much once walked through her own valley of doubt. And you, my elfling, look at me with the same emerald eyes she does. I need to return to her now. I love you both. Don’t wander far.” Father pulls them into a hug before slipping inside the stone shelter.
“For what it’s worth, I like your magic,” Arisanna says once they’re alone again. “And I’m proud of what you did tonight for Tharios.”
Cerian shrugs. “It was the right thing to do.”
To his surprise, she draws him into a kiss, which he returns without hesitating.
“No one needs us before morning, do they?” she whispers against him, and he pulls back to stare at her.
“What are you suggesting?”
“Stars above. Not that. You’d light the forest on fire.”
She’s not wrong.
Unfortunately.
“What then?”
“I’m sorry, but your human princess needs more sleep than that. I’m exhausted. Can we curl up somewhere on our own bed of moss? Whether you sleep more or not, I definitely need to.”
His lips twitch into a smile. “You want to sleep outside on a patch of moss? You must be exhausted.”
She smacks his arm, and he pulls her close to press a kiss to her temple.
“We can do that. Come on.”
She follows as he leads her past Tharios’s shelter and the moss he grew for Rominy and Elowyn. At least it’s obscured by the shadows of the trees so he doesn’t have to witness them curled up together, as they surely must be.
Arisanna only hesitates for a moment when Cerian draws her between the trees into the pitch-black forest. How far she’s come since her first excursion into the woods with him, when every sound startled her and the darkness terrified her.
He doesn’t go far. Just enough to give her a small measure of privacy before he coaxes a soft bed of moss from the forest floor by the glow of one of his magic lights. He helps her lie down beside him before drawing her close and blanketing her with his heat.
“Are you warm enough?” he whispers, but her steady breathing is her only response.
She really was exhausted.
The swiftness with which she relaxes in his arms, even here in the dark woods, warms his heart and makes him feel stronger somehow.
Gently, he presses a soft kiss to her hair as he holds her close. “I’ll keep you safe, Sanna. Always.”