Chapter 7 #4
“Is this how it’s going to be between us?
” I blurted. “Because I don’t know about you, Paul, but I’m basically maxed out.
I told you the truth, I never used Chase for a story, so until you get past your own mental block and see the situation for what it is, I can’t do this anymore.
” He took a step toward me and closed what little space there was between us. “I wish you’d trust me.”
“I want to,” he admitted and stared down at me like he was trying to figure something out. “I hate that we kissed before because it’s consumed me in ways I can’t describe.”
I looked away briefly and carefully framed my reply because I knew what his problem was. “When was the last time you had sex?” There it was, point blank. No beating around the bush there.
“Don’t insult me, Nicole.” His brows pinched together.
“A kiss can be even more intimate and impactful than sex.” My gaze dropped to the floor, and I felt like a jerk.
“I’ve dated one person in the last decade, and since we split, I haven’t slept with anyone else.
It’s not who I am.” His jaw flexed and his breath came out in a short huff.
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat. “You just seem angry with me again.”
“Mm,” he mumbled from somewhere deep in his throat.
“So maybe it’s best we cut our ties here before any more feelings get—”
He hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me to him.
“No.” He ran his other hand through my hair, along my jawbone, then his thumb tugged at my bottom lip.
He let it flick back into place then squinted as if lost in thought.
“You remind me I’m not who I was.” He moved so fast I barely registered what he had said.
Who he was? The thought flickered at the back of my brain, but before I could get my mind around it, his lips found mine.
His tongue broke the seal of my lips and dove inside, making my entire body tense then slowly relax into warm jelly.
His hand on my back flexed as he drew me closer.
His solid body felt like steel against mine.
I ran my hands over his large shoulders and enjoyed the feel of his muscles as they flexed under my touch.
Paul had a way of demanding my body that even I couldn’t control. He kissed like we were saying goodbye.
Hold on!
“Wait,” I muttered into his mouth, but he didn’t stop. I forced myself to rip away and pressed my fingers to his lips. “Does this mean you believe me about Chase and that I’d never use him?”
Something flashed across his face, and I wished I knew what it was. Then he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and went still. When he opened them again, his eyes seemed darker – almost like he was channeling someone else.
“I’ve got a taste for you, and I can’t take it anymore.”
“You need to answer my question first.” I turned my face away to the side when he leaned forward. I needed to know how he felt before I let my guard down again.
He started to drop kisses up my neck to my ear then stopped and took my chin in his hand and forced me to look at him. “Yes, I do believe you, Nicole, and I don’t trust easily.”
That was what I needed to hear, and I let a smile spread across my face as I looked up at him.
He opened and closed his mouth like he wanted to say more but didn’t. I wanted to push, but something told me now wasn’t the time. Besides, we had just made progress. I didn’t want to run the risk of screwing that up.
“I’m happy to hear that.” I kissed the side of his jaw like he did mine.
I loved the way his light stubble scratched my lips.
Paul was rugged and tough, very different than the men I used to date.
I’d always refused to date a soldier in the past, but I’d have to question myself on that later, as Paul made me feel more alive than anyone ever had, and that included Justin.
His hands moved back into my hair and tugged gently at the roots. He leaned his forehead to mine, and his warm breath brushed across my heated cheeks.
“I hope you can handle the kind of man I am.” It sounded like a warning.
“So does that mean we’re dating?” I hated to sound like a teenager, but I needed to know where we stood. We’d had our fair share of ups and downs to this point.
His gaze dropped and took my stomach along with it. That strange look I’d seen earlier, the one that seemed like he wanted to say more, flickered across his face again. Confusion washed over me.
“Let’s take this slow,” he whispered. “I’ve been out of the dating pool for some time, and I have some things to work on before I can fully date someone. Let’s say we’re talking, just getting to know one another.”
I appreciated his honesty and, as his words sank in, I had to agree. Our future was unknown, and if my past had taught me anything, it was that long distant relationships didn’t work. I had no idea when I could return to Mexico, but that was where my life was. Where I needed to be. Right?
“Slow sounds good.” I smiled and used his shoulders to help push myself up to give him a closed lip kiss, careful not to press into his chest. Though I didn’t think he could feel much pain with the way he’d squeezed my body to his.
He deepened the kiss again. It was raw, passionate, almost animalistic.
My legs wobbled when a rush of endorphins burst through me like a firework shooting off in all directions.
A strange noise found its way to me, and I felt him stiffen then he pulled back.
“Seriously?” I laughed like I was drunk as he read something off his phone.
“Shit, we have a meeting.” His hands slowly lowered, and I noticed he was just as turned on as I was.
I stared up at him with disbelief. “Now?” I swiped my hair back out of my face.
“Yeah,” he rubbed his eyes in frustration, “I’ve never wanted to disobey an order so badly in my life,” he groaned.
“It’s fine,” I lied.
He smiled right up to the corners of his eyes, and I found myself mirroring him. Then he turned away and reached for the door. “Get packed, Nicole. We leave at sun-up.”
“Yes, sir,” I teased, and he looked back as he opened the door.
“Sir?” He raised a brow. “I like the way that sounds.” His gaze dragged over me, then he swiped a hand over his face, muttered something, and left with a growl.