Chapter 10
TEN
NICOLE
“Nicole.” Cole was on my heels as I pushed through the sea of military men making their way down to the mess hall.
My head was reeling as I wondered if I’d made the right choice.
I’d never withheld anything from my bosses before, but General Bruce didn’t want to hear what I had to offer.
Every time I tried to speak, he’d cut me off and tell me how hard it was going to be to find a replacement.
I explained that if he teamed up the person with Ben Bale, they’d be fine, but again, he didn’t seem to want to hear me.
Then there was Glen, who was right there at every breath trying to get any information he could. I thought General Bruce was going to toss him out of his office, and I hoped he would, but he didn’t.
I had no idea where Paul and Frank had gone, so once General Bruce dismissed me, I rushed off and made my way to the elevator.
“Nicole!”
I needed to get out of the building. With both hands, I pushed through the big doors and took a deep breath of city air. Eww. But any air was better than what was back in that room.
Ten years I’d given myself to the job, and for what? To not even be able to plead my case?
I saw a black SUV and recognized the young soldier who had brought us here.
He leaned against the vehicle, then when he spotted me, he quickly stood and moved to the passenger door.
He opened it, and I slid in without missing a beat.
As he went to close the door a hand reached out to block it. I looked up into a set of steely eyes.
“You may not realize it, but my wife is just as fast as you when she’s pissed.” Cole leaned down and huffed out a breath. “Nicole, we should talk, but not here. I can see you have a lot more to say.”
“Honestly, Cole, I just need to get out of here. I want a shower, a stiff drink, and something hard to hit.” I looked down at my knees. I felt wrung out and frustrated but somewhat impressed that he could see I was pissed.
“Understandable, and I respect what you’re saying. Okay, how about this. Shower, eat, sleep, but tomorrow meet me in the hotel lobby at zero-eight-hundred.”
I closed my eyes and remembered who I was speaking to. Not just a senior military officer but a friend too. I looked him in the eyes again and nodded. “Of course. I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.” He closed the door and tapped the window. I stared out the window with my mind in turmoil until we reached the hotel.
After a shower and a change of clothes, I felt a lot better, but my anger still seethed just below the surface. I decided a trip down to the lobby bar might be a good idea. Maybe a stiff drink would be just what I needed.
I looked critically at my reflection in the mirror behind the bar.
I wasn’t a soft featured woman. My nose was a little narrow and my face a bit angular, and I was okay with that.
I wasn’t the tallest or the physically strongest of women out there, but I had passion for my work.
I wanted to be taken seriously; I was no pushover.
My job should be proof of that. I had never been a girly girl, though I had moments where I enjoyed being one, but I had strong opinions and needed to be heard.
I just had to figure out what I needed to do.
The bar was empty, and I eyed a stool off to the side where I could be alone to think in case the place got busy. I eased onto the cool leather seat and briefly contemplated if sleep might not be a better option. Nope.
“What can I get you?” The bartender smiled at me, then her face twisted as she read my mood. “You look like you could use something strong.”
“You got it.” I grinned. “I don’t care what it is, just make it a double.”
Her eyes shifted up to the left as she thought. “Do you like single malts?”
“I’ll take it.”
“I like you.” She matched my grin. “Be right back.”
I rubbed my tired head then closed my eyes and took a moment to center myself.
I lost my job—well, jobs. I was jobless.
I could resell my soul to Glen and take his mental abuse for a few more years, but what would that say about me?
He’d wanted me to hand Chase over to those monsters!
I knew how important it was to discover where the drugs were headed and from where in the States, but there would always be another CI to fill the role I’d had and probably do a better job.
I was sure Glen could find some other person’s soul to take and leave mine alone.
“Cheers.” The bartender slid the triple drink my way.
I took a sip and loved how strong it was. “Perfect. Thanks.”
“Happy to be of service.”
The glass was half empty by the time I noticed I wasn’t alone in the bar anymore.
My mind was so busy rehashing the last few hours that I hadn’t heard anyone come in.
A group of women who looked to be airline attendants took up a large table and seemed to be laughing about something entertaining.
I loved people watching, especially if it was people having a good time.
I shifted my gaze to movement in a booth and spotted Paul as he nursed a beer.
He appeared to be deep in thought. He had his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.
I slipped off the stool, picked up my drink, and made way over to him.
“Hey,” I kept my voice low so as to not startle him, “care for some company?” He kept his gaze locked on the table in front of him. “Everything okay?” I touched his shoulder, and he jumped and grabbed my arm, about to twist it. “Oh!” I yelped, and he let go.
“Shit, Nicole,” he gasped, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I rubbed the tender spot. “I should know better than to sneak up on a soldier.” He nodded and rubbed the back of his head; clearly something weighed on him.
With Paul, I knew I couldn’t push, or he’d shoot his walls up.
That wouldn’t do either of us any good. “Well, I guess you need some space, so I’ll head up to my room.
See you in the morning.” He didn’t respond, so I walked to the elevator.
I sipped my drink as I watched the floors slip by and wondered what had happened with him after he and Frank were kicked out of the meeting.
Once in my room, I reached for the remote on the TV and switched to a music channel. I needed something in the background, or I’d go crazy from the silence.
I flopped on the bed and let my body sink into the mattress. The ceiling fan spun above me, and soon my vision blurred and my eyes grew heavy. I jerked awake at an urgent knock on the door, and I scrambled to open it without a thought.
Paul stood there. He looked at me with so much pain in his expression it took my breath away.
“Hi.” His shoulders were tense, the muscles in his arms twitched, and his fists pumped at his sides.
It felt like he was screaming at me in silence.
You could practically see the war in his eyes.
Music flowed around us as we stood there.
“You want to talk about it?” He shook his head slowly.
“Okay,” I said softly and tried to gauge how I could help.
“Want to come in?” He seemed to think about it, then he took a step toward me.
His hands snagged my face as he leaned close and drew in a deep breath through his nose. It was as though he wanted to inhale my scent. His eyes flickered to the TV when The Moment of Truth by Red Clay Strays started to fill the room.
“Paul?”
“I hate him,” he whispered, but before I could ask who, he kissed me so hard I stumbled backward.
One of his arms snaked behind my back and pulled me to him, then he pressed me against the wall.
I could tell he needed a release, and I wanted to be that for him.
He slowed the kiss, and I was sure he was being careful not to force himself on me.
I respected him for that, but I wanted it too, so I reached down and caught the hem of my shirt and pulled it up over my head.
His pupils dilated as he reached out and slid his thumb along the ridge of my collarbone.
Suddenly, he yanked his t-shirt up over his head and tossed it to the side.
I sucked in a breath when I saw the two puncture wounds on his chest.
I forced myself not to focus on that as the heat built inside me.
I reached for the button on my jeans, but he stopped my hand and placed it in the center of his stomach.
He leaned one hand on the wall above my head and used the other to stroke down my side.
I roamed his stomach with my fingers and enjoyed the feeling of his steel-like body.
It seemed to relax him as I took the liberty to explore every curve of his muscled torso.
My fingers traveled over the scars, discolorations, and dips in his muscles from years of abuse.
I knew it was a hazard of his job, and each one carried its own story, ones that were kept deep within that haunted brain of his.
His head dipped, and he panted in my ear like he was losing his self-control.
I tilted my head to the side, and my eyes closed as his lips found the side of my neck, dropping hungry kisses as he went.
His hand flexed low on my bare hip, and I slid my hand down and did a swipe of his erection. He was like stone, ready for me.
I knew from Savannah that it been a while since Paul had been with someone, and it was the same for me. I think we both fought to play it carefully and stay respectful with one another because of the situation we were in. Deep down, we both knew we’d end up here; it was inevitable.
He let out a painful groan when I pushed my hips into his.
My body hummed with need. Within seconds, he had my jeans and panties at my ankles for me to step out of, and then he kicked off his own.
I unhooked my bra and dropped it, and before it hit the floor, his hands were all over me.
He hooked my leg over his hip and pressed his erection at my slick opening.