Chapter One #3
“I’m usually horrible with names,” Char admits, pulling out the chair at my desk before plopping down onto it with an audible sigh.
“And faces.” She smiles. “Did you know Maisie before you moved in?” she asks, already knowing the answer.
No, she did not. Pretty sure I would have remembered the perpetual look of hatred that she wears when she looks at me.
I turn my back on the two, rifling through my bag like I’m looking for something when in reality I just need something to do with my hands.
“Not personally, but I knew who she was.”
My ears perk up at this, but I don’t turn around, figuring she’s more likely to continue if she thinks I’m not really paying attention.
“Oh yeah?” Char urges her to continue. “How’s that?”
“She hooked up with my boyfriend freshman year while we were still together.”
A hard knot forms in my stomach, and I brace for her to continue.
“I actually went to a party to surprise him, when I saw him with his tongue down her throat.”
I feel her eyes burning into my back as she no doubt stares daggers at me.
“Oh...” Char murmurs softly as she starts to fully grasp the situation.
Any hopes I had of connecting with this girl just went straight out the freaking window.
“Yeah. Oh.” Her voice drips with disdain.
“You know, Maisie would never hook up with a guy if she knew he was otherwise entangled.” Charlotte tries to reason with her, but I have a feeling it won’t do her any good.
“I’m sure.”
I can hear the sneer in her voice as I turn to face her.
“So that’s why you don’t like me? Because I hooked up with your boyfriend, not knowing he had a girlfriend?”
“Ex-girlfriend now. Thanks to you.”
“Who is your ex?” I ignore the jab she throws, trying to place blame where it doesn’t belong. Char’s right. I would never hook up with someone if I knew they were in any way involved with someone else. That’s simply not my style.
“Macallan Stewart.”
My stomach completely bottoms out and it takes every bit of willpower I have to keep my expression from slipping.
Macallan Stewart... I cringe at the thought of the dark-haired man with eyes so breathtaking, sometimes they’re hard to look into.
A bright blue-green that looks teal when the light hits them just right.
The man who made me want more, only to turn around and treat me like just another average whore.
Of course he had a girlfriend when we hooked up.
I’m honestly not even a little surprised.
.. Maybe by who she is, but definitely not that he was capable of such a thing.
He’s the worst sort of man and being with him was a mistake that still haunts me nearly two years later. He hurt me... He humiliated me... And I’ve spent the better part of two years hating him for it.
“No shit.” Char is the first to speak, her green eyes flashing up to meet mine. “I take it you two are no longer on good terms after he cheated on you.”
“You could say that.”
“Well, it would appear as though I’ve just found some common ground between you.” Char smiles like this is a victory and not a worst-case scenario.
“I doubt that.” Lana’s brown eyes narrow like she wishes she could shoot lasers out of them and annihilate me where I stand.
“Macallan did something similar to Maisie. Told her he wanted to be with her. Got her into his bed. Then treated her like a piece of garbage afterward. If you ask her who her number one op is on the entire campus...”
“It’s Macallan Stewart.” I say his name with enough venom to portray just how I feel about him.
“Well...” Char abruptly stands. “I think this is the part where I leave you two to talk. It was nice meeting you, officially, Lana.” She tips her head toward my roommate before turning to me, pulling me into a one-armed hug.
“Call me later. I’m dying to find out how this goes.
” She hisses in my ear before releasing me.
Seconds later, she’s tugging open the door.
“Oh, and, Lana.” She turns back to my roommate. “We’re going to the Alpha party tomorrow and we’d love it if you could join us.”
Lana opens her mouth to refuse, of that I have no doubt, but Char doesn’t give her the chance.
“Just think about it. I think you’ll find Maisie makes a much better friend than she does an enemy.” She throws me a wink, disappearing into the hallway moments later.
Awkward silence fills the room, tension so thick it feels almost hard to breathe.
I open my mouth to say something, close it, and then open it again, a million words sitting on the tip of my tongue.
“Did he really do what your friend said?” Lana asks after a long moment.
“Worse.” I lower myself into the chair Charlotte occupied just moments ago. “I really liked him. He’s the only guy I’ve ever met that I actually wanted to date. That is, until he reminded me why I don’t date.”
“What did he do?” Her guard isn’t down, but she’s not looking at me like she actively wants to beat me with the book she has clutched to her chest, so at least there’s that.
“Basically, what Char said in a nutshell. I was attracted to him the second I saw him. I had never met anyone so...”
“Mesmerizing.” She guesses.
“Something like that,” I agree. “We hit it off instantly. I won’t deny that I was completely enamored by him. Blind even. I was. He just had this way about him.”
“Trust me, I know.” She blows out a hard breath, her features softening.
“Anyway, we hooked up a few times and then that’s when he showed his true colors.
He stopped vying for my attention. Stopped replying to my text messages.
And then when I saw him at a party and went up to talk to him, he humiliated me in front of all his friends, saying something along the lines of I think I’ve pity fucked you enough, don’t you? Now you just look pathetic.”
“He didn’t.” She clenches her book harder.
“The worst part was I really did like him.” I close my eyes for a brief moment. When I open them, I find Lana watching me. “What about you? What’s the story between you two?”
“We were high school sweethearts. He was a year ahead of me, but we stayed together while I finished my senior year of high school. Then I came here so that we could be together. He acted like he was happy about it, but I could tell something had changed. He was different. Then I saw you two together at that party and I realized why he was acting so strangely. Because he had moved on but hadn’t bothered to tell me about it. ”
“I’m so sorry he did that to you.”
“I was devastated, of course. But I soon realized the boy I fell in love with was gone. College changed him. He became cocky and cold-hearted. When I confronted him about seeing you two together, he basically laughed in my face.”
“What an asshole.”
“Yeah.” She sets the book on her desk before leaning forward slightly. “I’m sorry I blamed you. You’re just... Well, you’re everything I’m not, and I felt inferior to you. I see now that maybe I misjudged you.”
“It happens,” I admit. “Just know, I would have never hooked up with him if I had known about you. I may be a bit on the promiscuous side, I won’t deny that, but I’m not someone who would ever knowingly pursue or allow myself to be pursued by someone who is involved.
” I pause for a brief moment. “Do you think maybe we could start over?” I ask, almost hopeful.
“I’d like that.” She smiles, and I’m struck by how much prettier she is when she’s not scowling at me.
“Good.” I smile back at her. “And about that party tomorrow. You really should come.”
“I avoid any place where I think he might be.” She shakes her head.
“Which is your first mistake. Don’t give him that kind of power. Come with us. If he’s there, perhaps we can have a bit of fun.”
“What do you suggest?”
“Let’s see if he’s there first. I’m sure we can find creative ways to make him squirm.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her. “In the meantime, find something sexy to wear.” I push to stand.
“Where are you going?” she asks as I gather my things and head toward the door.
“I have a soccer meeting to get to, but I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Okay.”
I peel open the door and then turn back toward her.
“I am sorry, Lana. I really do hope we can put this behind us and be friends. I think you’ll find I’m a pretty good person to have on your side.”
“I’d like that.” She smiles again, this time the action lighting up her entire face.
I’m starting to see what Mac saw in her.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, see ya.”
I pull the door closed behind me, feeling optimistic that we can turn our rough start around and, at the very least, tolerate each other this year.
I make a mental note to text Char later and thank her. She was able to get further in five minutes than I was in three days.
I don’t have to question how lucky I am to have her and Lyric in my life. I already know how extremely blessed I am. Between them, my family, and soccer, I have a lot going for me. And yet, even with that, I still can’t deny how incredibly unhappy I am.
I can’t explain it, or even truly begin to understand it myself, but it’s always there. This nagging feeling that tells me I don’t deserve any of it. Maybe because deep down, I know I don’t.