Chapter Eight #3
“You’re an only child?” Weirdly, it’s not something we ever discussed, not that we spent a whole lot of time talking during the short time we were hanging out.
“I wish. I have three brothers, all younger than me.”
“Three?” My eyes widen. “God, I can barely deal with one.” I snap my seatbelt into place just as Mac starts the car, quickly pulling out onto the street. “How old are they?”
“Maxton just turned sixteen. Mason is fourteen. And Midas is ten.”
“All Ms.”
He nods slowly. “What about you? Is Jackson your only sibling?”
“Yes. Well, no. I mean, he’s my only living sibling. I had a sister once...” I want to take the words back instantly, silently cursing myself for letting them slip.
“What happened to her?”
“I, uh... She died when she was two. It was a long time ago, and no, I don’t want to talk about it.” I try to push past the guilt that slides through my stomach, but it’s no use. It settles into my gut like drying cement.
I know what happened to Lily wasn’t my fault.
Rationally, I know that no five-year-old should ever be made responsible for a toddler in a bathtub, but that doesn’t make me feel any less to blame.
The sad thing is, I don’t even know why I left that bathroom.
Why I walked away and left my baby sister unattended long enough for her to.
.. I shake off the thought, refusing to go there right now.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Macallan says, clearly reading something on my face that I didn’t want him to see.
“Like I said, it was a long time ago. Now, can we talk about something else?”
“What would you like to talk about?” he asks after a long beat of silence passes between us.
“I’m really sorry about tonight,” I blurt, just needing to get it off my chest.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Actually, it kind of is.” I swallow hard, staring out the window because I find it impossible to look at him.
“How’s that?”
“I may have encouraged her.”
“What do you mean, you may have encouraged her?” The tone of his voice compels me to look at him, and when I do, he briefly meets my gaze, his expression unreadable, before his eyes once again find the road.
“We bonded over our mutual dislike of you,” I say apologetically.
“So when you pissed me off the other day, I may or may not have vented to her about you, and that’s when she said we should get even, give you a taste of your own medicine.
I figured she was popping off at the mouth, and when she never said anything else, I forgot all about it.
I had no idea she was planning to drug one of your friends and make it look like we were having a threesome with him when you walked in.
I also don’t know why she thought you would care enough that she felt compelled to go to such extremes. ”
“Because she seems to know what you still don’t.” It’s his turn to avoid my gaze.
“Which is?”
He continues without answering my actual question.
“Lana has pulled a lot of shit over the years, but nothing quite like this. I can deal with her being in half of my classes. I can deal with her sitting in the stands at nearly every practice. Hell, I can even deal with her stalking around my apartment building like a fucking creep. But this... This is...”
“Way too far.” I finish the sentence for him.
“Way too far,” he agrees.
“Well, I really am sorry for my part in this.”
“This isn’t on you, and I don’t blame you.
You should be able to vent to a friend without worrying that she’s gonna concoct some sadistic plan to get back at the person you’re angry with.
But that’s what Lana does. She manipulates and twists things to meet her own narrative.
She’s so sure that I’m the villain that she’s convinced herself she’s the victim, when really, it’s the other way around.
You want to know why I pushed you away the way I did.
.. Why I made sure I did it with an audience.
.. It was because she was there. She was there and I knew that if I didn’t make a spectacle of humiliating you, that you would become her next target and I simply could not let that happen. ”
The reality of his words settles over me like a thick blanket, making my skin feel overly warm despite the cooler temperatures.
“You... She...” I can’t seem to formulate the right words.
“I know it doesn’t make what I did okay.
I know that. But despite what you might think, my intentions were good.
I liked you, Maisie. I mean, I really fucking liked you.
But as soon as Lana showed up, I knew I could never have you.
Better that you hate me than fall prey to whatever sick, twisted thing she would no doubt have planned for you. ”
“Why haven’t you told me this before now?”
“Would you have believed me?”
I think over his words, deciding no, I likely wouldn’t have. Still, I keep the answer to myself.
“You hated me,” he continues. “What would be the point in telling you anything when I knew there was no way you would believe me? Even still, I did try to warn you about Lana. But as expected, you blew me off, and rightfully so. But now that you’ve seen it.
.. Now that you know what she’s capable of.
.. Despite everything I did in order to keep you off her radar, somehow you still ended up on it just the same.
And now that you’ve stood against her... ”
“You think she’ll try to retaliate against me?”
“I honestly don’t know what she’ll do.”
“Fucking great,” I mutter, blowing out a slow breath. “Just what I need in my life. A psychopathic roommate who goes around drugging people to get what she wants.”
I glance back at Joey, staring at him for several long moments to make sure his chest is rising and falling at a normal rate.
“He seems okay,” I finally say.
“I’m sure he will be. Now let’s just hope he doesn’t get pulled for a random drug test this coming week.”
“Could that happen?”
“They pull for randoms all the time. Every week, at least a handful get pulled.”
“Well, if he does, I can attest to what happened. It wouldn’t be fair for his football career to end over something that was completely out of his control.”
“Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“Let’s hope,” I agree, falling silent for another long moment. “Can I ask you something?” I blurt, unable to unhear his earlier words. “If Lana had never come to UVA... Do you think we...” I clear my throat. “Do you think things would have been different for us?”
I hate myself for saying each word as it slides past my tongue, but I can’t help myself. I want to know. No, I need to know.
“I don’t know. Despite the fact that I did what I did to protect you, I was still immature and selfish, so I probably still would have found a way to fuck it up.” He blows out a hard breath. “But I will admit, I would like to live in a world where you don’t actively hate me.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“Don’t you?”
“I mean, I hate what you did. But now that I know why you did it...”
“Does it change things?”
“Yes... No... I don’t know. I guess I wish you had just told me the truth from the beginning. I would have understood.”
“That’s the problem, though. I wasn’t sure that you would. After Lana, I wasn’t sure any woman was capable of such a thing.”
“You thought I was going to go crazy and start stalking you like she did.” It’s not a question.
“A part of me did, yes.”
“But that hasn’t stopped you from hooking up with several people since then.” I swallow down the bile that stings the back of my throat at the thought.
“You’re right, it hasn’t. Because at the end of the day, I’m still a guy, and giving up sex is not something you can ever ask a man to do. At least not willingly. But I hold my breath every single time... Waiting for the blowback.”
“What if we could do something about it?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if, instead of taking Joey home, we take him to the hospital. If we tell them he was drugged, the police will have to get involved.”
“You want to get the police involved?” He eyes me skeptically.
“Think about it. If the police get involved and they can prove Lana’s involvement, she would be suspended and likely have criminal charges pressed against her. Goodbye, Lana.”
“I doubt it would be that simple.”
“She’s just a girl, Macallan. Albeit a crazy one, but still just a girl. She’s not untouchable. You’ve been dealing with her for what, four years now? Aren’t you sick of it?”
“Of course I am. But I’ve found with Lana, it’s easier to pretend like she isn’t there than to spur her on. If we do this, if we go to the police and tell them what she did, it could send her completely over the deep end.”
“Look around.” I gesture around the car at nothing in particular. “She’s already gone off the deep end.”
“You sure you want to go down this road? You take a swing at Lana, she’s going to swing back.”
“Let her. I can handle it.”
“You’re sure about this?” He’s hesitant, but there’s something else there too... Hope maybe.
“I am. I don’t want to live with someone capable of this. Someone who could do something worse next time. She could have killed Joey. What happens if next time she does kill someone and we did nothing to stop it when we had the chance?”
“So what do we do?”
“Drive to the hospital.”
“What about your brother and your friends?”
“I’ll text Lyric.” I pull out my phone and fire off a quick text to tell her to go on home and that I’ll explain everything later.
“We’re really doing this?” he asks just as I hit send.
“We’re really doing this,” I confirm, hoping like hell I don’t live to regret it.