44. Ember
Ember
T he worst part about being stalked, aside from the whole jangled sense of security, was the tedious waiting. It had been weeks, and some days I felt like I could crawl the walls.
I didn’t have any more threatening texts, any more photos, nothing. I’d kept my number the same, and Raina screened the Cosmic Bonds mail, but so far, nothing.
It was like after the asshole destroyed my nest, he decided to back off. I’d spoken to several detectives and they all said stalkers were unpredictable.
He could have been following me for years, or only months. The texts came from a burner phone, and the photos had been dropped off by hand. The police couldn’t trace it back to a suspect with no evidence.
No hairs, fingerprints, nothing. It felt impossible, given the level of destruction, but the knife he’d used to rip up the pillows and blankets was a basic box knife, found anywhere in a hardware store.
He cleaned up after himself, and the few strands of hair they’d found at the scene weren’t in any database they ran.
Ben hired a private investigator, who was digging into other avenues, but until they had suspects to link evidence to, they were at an impasse.
Work somehow stayed the same. I worked with my clients, showing them their matches, and talking to my family about the next events. Everyone made sure to stop by my office, something that impinged on my sexy lunch time with West, but they were determined.
I was slowly going crazy. I was used to being able to go to the beach without finding someone to come with me, but everyone in my life agreed they didn’t want to leave me alone.
My stomach tightened and my skin crawled at being alone, so I didn’t fight it. It kept me cooped up between the office, the house, and sometimes the store. The building security was top-notch, so when I did go to Computer Solutions, West rode with me and we checked in via group chat.
I was stuck in my office on a nice day and had the window open. I’d spent the morning wandering the grounds in between intakes. We had cameras everywhere now, and even though the lodge wasn’t booked solid like it would be in another month or two, we had residents.
Terran and Zephyr were doing work on the cottages to prep for our busy season, and I nodded at them. I wandered over to the place the new duck pond would be and sent another subtle update to everyone’s business emails about the Operation: Quackers update.
The update, of course, was spring was the best time to install a new water feature. I was totally making that part up, but I didn’t care. It made me cackle.
Terran approached me from the south lawn, looking slightly sweaty. He raised an eyebrow. “Still pushing the duck pond agenda?”
I spread my arms out. “Picture it. Your tai chi class in front of a beautiful turtle pond, the gentle sound of water helping you balance everyone’s chi.”
He looked amused. “I have to run some errands in town. Do you want to come?”
“You’re going to let me leave?” I gestured around us.
“Zephyr knows where we’re going. Besides.” Terran cracked his knuckles. “If someone tries to touch you, I’ll just punch their lights out.”
My younger brother was usually the most laid-back of all of us, but he could be bloodthirsty when he needed to be.
I looked at his shoulders. Almost a head taller than me, he was broad in the chest, and he had biceps for days.
He liked to spend his free time working out or running, not that he needed the extra work.
“Ughh, fine.” I rolled my eyes. “No need to remind your sister that you’re ripped.”
“I’m not that ripped,” he said.
The poor boy actually meant it too. I shook my head, deciding I wouldn’t argue with him about his biceps having little, smaller biceps. Zephyr was taller, but Terran was built stockier.
I followed Terran to his truck, excited about the sudden field trip. I jumped into the passenger seat and held up my phone. “I’m going to let my pack know I’m going on errands, or they’ll all flip their collective shit when my GPS moves.”
I decided to allow the “find my location” feature on my phone, just in case.
Terran pulled out of the gravel parking lot. “Your pack?”
“Yes,” I said, typing into the group chat to the mother hens that I wasn’t being kidnapped, just running errands.
“Your pack?” he repeated and it took a minute to sink in.
Not “the” pack. My pack.
He was grinning like Christmas had come early. “It seems like the key to finding alphas you liked was adding another omega.”
“No. Yes. I mean, the key was they weren’t douches who acted like their knot was the only thing going for them.” I shoved his shoulder. “And they like West just as much as me.”
“Good,” Terran said. “I’m glad you’re happy.”
“Me too,” I said, some worry creeping in. I was happy. Deliciously happy. If something happened, I would be crushed.
It wasn’t even that I was worried they would leave me. I tried, and failed, to picture something that would make them break up with me.
I’d had a panic attack in front of them, I had my nest destroyed, and through everything they were supportive and sweet.
“What are you worrying about?” My brother nudged me. The window was down, and the salty spray of the ocean was wonderful on my face.
“Everything,” I replied immediately.
“We’re going to find out who destroyed your nest and then take them apart piece by piece,” he said.
“I mean…” I swallowed hard, fiddling with the hem on my jacket. “What if something happens with my pack? I’ve never been…this attached to so many people before.”
“I’m wounded,” Terran said with a grin.
“Brat.” I shoved his shoulder again. “I mean lovers. I’m stuck loving all of you. But being stalked is reminding me too well that I can’t control all the bad stuff that happens in life.”
Terran sucked in air between his teeth. He was quiet for a while, and I suddenly hoped that whatever person or pack he wound up with would let him think as long as he wanted, instead of talking over him like his ex did.
“You can’t control everything,” he said finally. “Your issue isn’t with being in love.”
In love. My heart squeezed at the thought. I might as well chuck my heart into the ocean and hope the fish didn’t eat it.
“Your issue is with life itself.” He gestured around us. “You’re going to love people, and you’ll open yourself up to loss. Something you know too well.”
“You too,” I said quietly. Hating that somehow I managed to bring up our parents and make my baby brother sad. “You lost them too.”
“I did,” he agreed, and squeezed my hand.
He pulled into a side street and found a place to park in town.
The street was quiet this time of day, with only a scattering of tourists walking down the sidewalk.
It was a bit too early for spring flowers to be in bloom, but in another couple of weeks, the green belt running through the middle of the road would be a riot of colors.
“But it wasn’t shoved in my face like you, Ember.
It’s okay to feel that loss differently from the rest of us, honey. ”
I scowled. It felt wrong, somehow, to say I grieved our parents deeper than the rest of my family. They all mourned our parents in their own way but…it had taken years for me to be okay again.
“I lost my parents one night when a phone call changed everything.” Terran turned to face me. “But I almost lost you too, and I can’t help but also feel grateful that you’re still here.”
My eyes welled up with tears, and I swallowed hard.
“You already love them, Em. You’re not getting around that. You’ll feel worse if you don’t let yourself enjoy all the perks of being happy, having a pack, and then realize in ten years you were holding back the entire time.”
I grumbled. He was right. “It’s still scary.”
“Oh, scary as hell.”
I climbed out, and he came around to my side right away, scanning the street. I hated the stalker with fresh ire for putting such a cautious look on my brother’s face.
“You’re already in love. Might as well let go.” Terran put his arm around my shoulders.
“Right, throw myself off a cliff,” I muttered.
“You can’t stop loving West. Or me. Or the rest of us.” My brother shrugged like it was nothing, instead of my biggest fears. “They will be there to catch you if you fall.”
We entered the hardware store, and I wandered around while Terran bought some stuff. Nails, or hammers, or whatever he needed for the resort, and then we kept walking down Main Street.
One More Page, the local bookstore, was ahead. I tugged on Terran’s sleeve. “Can we go in? I need the next book in Daggers and Designations . You could preorder the next Oath of Ash and Wing ?”
Terran grinned. “Of course. Why else would we be in town?”
We opened the door to the bookstore. A small coffee bar sat to the side of the main area.
It was the picture-perfect idealization of what a small-town bookstore with a coffee bar should be, the platonic ideal of all bookstores everywhere.
It had two stories, the top floor accessible through a winding staircase or elevator, and books covered every surface.
The couches and armchairs stuffed into the corners were soft and comfy, with hardwood tables and cool lamps.
The checkout counter was hardwood and looked like an old-fashioned hotel counter. The walls were sage green with a maple trim.
The coffee bar was small, and they only served a few different drinks, but the chai tea was amazing.
Beatrice, a beta girl with hair she dyed a different color every week, usually ran the shop. I scanned the store but saw only a hunky alpha putting books on the shelves. He smiled at both of us. “Welcome. Can I can help you find anything?”
“Where’s Beatrice?” I frowned, immediately suspicious of anything outside of my routine.