Chapter 18 #3
As our breathing slowed and we came down from our high, my head spun. That had been the strangest and most wonderful thing I had ever felt. And Darion had chosen to share it with me. The sheer weight of the moment filled me with awe.
“Oh my gods,” were the only words I could utter as I looked at him, stunned at what we had just experienced together.
Darion smiled coyly. “Did time slow for you, too?”
“Gods, yes,” I said, still a bit out of it.
“I thought it might. Since you said you could feel it when I slowed time, I wanted to try.”
“Well, that was quite an experiment. It fucking worked,” I said, as I slid off and lay on top of him with my head on his chest, letting our lovemaking mingle between us. “And you’ve just ruined regular sex for me.”
“Yeah, I can relate,” Darion said with a laugh. “After I figured out I could do that when I pleasured myself, the regular thing just never felt as good. You’re the first person I’ve been able to share that with.”
The first? I glanced up at him with a questioning look.
He nodded yes. That filled me with overwhelming emotion, and I had to fight back tears.
“Did you enjoy it?” Darion asked.
“It’s the best thing I’ve ever felt.”
“Me too,” he said, and that was both wonderful and terrifying.
We lingered for a long while in each other’s arms. With Darion by my side, I felt safe in a way I hadn’t in a very long time.
He ran his hand through my hair, caressed my cheek, then stroked down to my shoulder.
He leaned in and kissed me. The look in his eyes was almost one of wonder.
I imagined my expression was similar. How had I been lucky enough to find a man this beautiful and caring? Did I deserve it? Could I risk it?
Up until now, I’d always shut myself off and driven people away. It was a defense mechanism that had kept me safe. And I had just blown it open.
I had closed myself off for as long as I could remember, maybe since I was a child, even before my parents died.
Dust, why did it hurt so much every time my mind drifted to them?
I reached for my locket, then remembered I had taken it off.
Its absence amplified the loss. A tear leaked out of my eye.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Darion said, wiping the tear away as it streaked down my cheek.
“Just thinking about my parents. They died when I was young, and they never told me or my sister we were Emberborn. They never mentioned our Embers—not directly, anyway. I just don’t understand why they kept that from me.”
Darion had a look of deep empathy that I imagined came from true understanding.
“A lot of parents did. They waited until their kids were older to tell them, since kids rarely start showing signs of their Embers until their teenage years. Keeping that secret was literally a matter of life and death.”
“Is that what your parents did?” I asked.
“No,” Darion said with a distant look of muted pain. “My mother died right after I was born. She was Emberborn, and my father didn’t even know. I didn’t know until my Ember started manifesting when I was fourteen. I lost my father shortly after that, so I dealt with it on my own.”
“That must have been very hard for you.”
“You have no idea,” Darion said, looking away. His jaw was clenched, and he seemed to be trying hard to suppress a complex mix of emotions.
We lay there quietly for a moment, both lost in thought. I supposed that was another thing we shared: dead parents and painful family histories we didn’t love talking about.
He let out a long breath, then turned back to me. “It must have been hard for you, too. How old were you when your parents died?”
“I was eleven, and Elena was four.”
“Dust, I’m so sorry,” Darion said, holding me tighter and kissing me.
I thought back to that worst day of all, when Orlik Leonom and his army of Sentinels had destroyed my family.
As they’d approached the farm, my mother had taken me aside.
It’s your job to protect your little sister.
Elena is counting on you. Then she’d told me to take Elena and hide. Do as we practiced, she had said.
Elena and I had run to the grain silo on the far side of our farm and hidden under a trapdoor at the bottom. But I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing. After all, I assumed this was all my fault for trusting Bren, my next-door crush.
I told Elena to stay and ran back to the farm.
Halfway there, I watched as my parents were murdered, their throats slashed.
I was too far away to help. I ran as fast as I could, but by the time I got there, my father was dead, and my mother was dying, lying in a pool of blood.
Orlik and his men had ridden off. My mother took me by the hand.
She was clutching her locket, stained with her blood.
She was only able to choke out two words, barely audible: Protect Elena.
Darion looked deep into my eyes as I relived those memories in my mind, as I’d done a thousand times before.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, although my eyes likely betrayed me.
“If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”
“I do,” I said. “But another time.”