Chapter 33
Chapter thirty-three
Never Again
Isat on the ground, unmoving, unable to think.
I might have just sat there and waited for the guards to find and kill me. That seemed preferable to living with the anguish in my heart.
But then my words to Elena echoed in my mind:
I’m not going anywhere. I promise.
I found the strength to stand. With my world crumbling around me, I ran.
I sprinted down the corridors, my lungs burning, not even bothering to hide from the few people who walked past. My heart was in tatters, but I actively blocked the thoughts banging around in my mind. If I let them through, I might simply collapse in a heap.
When I reached the body chute that was scheduled to be inactive, the absence of a burning scent was a small measure of relief.
The chute was steep, but the slope was manageable enough to slide down, though with the Emberbane in my belt, I had to remind myself that the cost of slipping was a fiery death.
My feet landed in a thin layer of ash, but the incinerator was cool, and the piles of soot I had been worried about falling into had already been cleared. A narrow maintenance ladder led up to the smokestack. High above, I could make out a faint circle illuminated by a hint of moonlight.
I went up at a relentless pace. My fingers were raw and my muscles burned, but I ignored the pain and pressed on.
When I reached the top, I had to hold on tight as a blast of wind threatened to knock me to the ground. My stomach lurched with a touch of vertigo as I clung to the narrow rim of the smokestack, a ten-story fall facing me in every direction.
Visibility was a challenge at night, but I noticed that one of the other three smokestacks was belching massive clouds of black smoke, likely due to the earlier Emberbane explosion. I peered around, looking for Zephyra, but there was no sign of her.
After a short while, I pulled out one of my lamp vials and gave it a vigorous shake. A faint golden glow emerged from the vial. I waved it back and forth. The slight chance of being seen by unwanted eyes was worth the risk.
It didn’t take long. Within moments, a flurry of flapping wings was all around me.
Little Cas, Zephyra is here.
Zephyra’s beautiful form emerged from the shadows. I nearly cried from relief. In her talons, she carried the end of a rope that extended into the distance, and a V-shaped metal device with leather handles—Sprocket’s creation. She flapped her wings, hovering next to me.
“Thank you, Zephyra!” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.
So happy to see little Cas. When prison went boom, Zephyra was worried. But where is Darion?
“It’s complicated.”
So Darion is not coming?
I couldn’t handle that conversation yet. I hadn’t even had time to process it myself. “Not right now. Hand me that rope.”
The rope was spun from Vanara silk, which made it both lighter and sturdier than traditional jute ropes. It was worth a small fortune. I wrapped the end of the rope around the smokestack until it was taut, then tied it off.
“Let’s hope this works,” I said to Zephyra, taking the metal device from her other foot. I positioned it over the rope so that the fabric fit snugly into the point of the V, then gripped the handles.
I slid down the rope, into the night.
At first, the descent was impossibly fast. I worried that when I got to the bottom, I’d smack right into whatever was at the other end and the Emberbane vials would take out half the city block, me included.
But the farther I went, the shallower the slope became until I found myself cruising at a manageable speed.
Pyrehold passed below me. My stomach lurched at the sight of hundreds of Sentinel fighters marching out of the open courtyards and through the gates.
Verrin hadn’t been lying.
This was the start of an invasion.
Soon I cruised over the outer walls and was on my way to freedom. Luckily, not a soul had a reason to look up, but even if they had, they likely wouldn’t have seen a dark figure floating above them on this pitch-black night.
I raced across the rooftops, stealth and safety be damned.
With the Sentinel army on the move, there was no time to waste.
The clash of swords and screams drifted up from the streets, and plumes of smoke snaked up from the horizon in front of me.
The soft thrumming of the null field in my head was an ever-present reminder of the Sentinels’ power.
Zephyra flew just ahead.
“Zephyra, warn Garrick about the army!” I called out to her.
Zephyra will do this! she answered, then flew off.
As I sprinted along, the weight of everything I’d learned began to hit me.
The look in Darion’s eyes was forever etched in my mind.
How could he not have told me? How could I ever forgive him?
Was he the spy in the Order, distracting everyone while the king plotted our destruction?
Had he been working with Kael all along?
My heart couldn’t take that possibility.
When I reached the ladder that descended to the Underworld, I paused to reach out with my Veilsense. No null field. I only hoped I had made it before it was too late. Before Elena was taken for the bounty. Before Kael found her.
I navigated back to the Order headquarters. When I arrived, the entrance was unguarded.
My gut twisted with worry. I had to find Elena.
Even as desolate as the Order headquarters often was, I typically ran into somebody on my way from one location to another. But now the halls were entirely deserted, and there were signs of a hurried exit. A meal sat half eaten at the guard station. A forgotten cloak lay on the floor.
On the way to Elena’s chamber, I passed High Steward Mireth’s office. Books and papers were strewn about as if she had left in a rush, taking only critical items. This didn’t look good.
As I approached Elena’s room, I paused, knowing that if she wasn’t there, it would be the literal end of me. I pushed through the door, awaiting my fate.
The room was empty.
On the bed was a hastily written note, scrawled in Elena’s handwriting.
Evacuating with Kael.
I dropped to the floor, the clatter echoing off the walls of the desolate room. The silence that followed was like a punch in the gut.
All around the room were signs of Elena’s hasty departure: the books we’d found at the library, now discarded; her half-made bed; her cloak resting on it as if she were about to return. But she wouldn’t return.
The training sword she’d used to practice forms in her room sat in the corner—forms Darion had helped her to perfect. He had given us such hope when he’d entered our lives.
The desperate note written in a panic sat crumpled in my hand.
Evacuating with Kael.
Pain gathered in my chest, and my limbs felt numb.
My mother’s locket was like ice against my skin, mocking my failure.
I’d spent my whole life protecting Elena, and now, at her greatest moment of need, I had failed her.
And I’d failed her because I had followed my heart.
Because I’d tried to rescue Darion instead of the person I’d sworn to my dying mother that I’d keep safe.
By choosing Darion, I had spat on that promise.
And now I was drowning in the despair of my own making.
This had happened before.
When I was eleven, I’d told Bren, the boy I had a crush on, that I could hear whisperhawks. I had only been trying to impress him. I hadn’t known he would tell others. I hadn’t known what the cost would be. A week later, Orlik had shown up and destroyed my family.
Never again, I had promised myself. I would stay strong, never let myself be distracted, never trust people with my secrets. These had been my guiding principles. They had kept us safe for all those years.
So why did I finally ignore what I knew would keep us safe?
Because I was a fool. Because I’d been caught up in some childish dream about happy endings. But that wasn’t how life really worked. Life was cruel and took no prisoners.
I stayed there in the quiet until I thought it might envelop me. Maybe that was even what I hoped for.
And then…
Footsteps.