Chapter Thirteen
I huff out a breath as I haul the box from the van and into the house, a sweat on my brow as my sneakers rub at the backs of my ankles and my fingers literally bleed from all the scrapes and cuts that have been inflicted over the past several hours.
“Fuck me, Savannah,” Sloane groans behind me, “How much stuff do you have!?”
Surprisingly, a lot. I had a lot of shit in storage, things I’ve collected over the years that never had a home plus the many items I’ve purchased over the last six months. I like to collect things; I just hadn’t realized it had amounted to so much.
And it’s a lot for two women to do alone.
I lied to my brother so he wouldn’t intervene, told him I wasn’t moving yet because if I told him, he would have got the guys to help. And that would have meant seeing Killian.
And I don’t want to see Killian.
It took me an entire day to realize what I had done and for two days after that I sat in this pit of humiliation that made me physically cringe whenever the images flashed inside my head. And let me tell you, I pictured it often and viscerally. I was almost certain anyone who saw me would immediately know what had happened and sure, now I know I was in my head and overreacting, those two days were tough.
Am I shy? No. Do I like sex? Abso-fucking-lutely I do, but pleasuring myself for another person, while they watched and did nothing isn’t something I have done before. Until now, of course, and I don’t know why I did it or why I was so comfortable doing it for Killian.
Anyone else and it would have been a hard no.
He hasn’t contacted me, and I haven’t contacted him, but I don’t know how to face him now it’s all done and dusted.
He made it pretty clear it was a game, payback for what I had done at the club, even if that really wasn’t my fault and it took me too long to understand what he meant about games.
Don’t play games you’re not ready to win.
He’s fucking with me .
For what!?
Because he’s attracted to me? That seems like a him problem.
“Uh, Sav?” Sloane nudges my shoulder, “You’re gonna put a hole in that box.”
“Shit,” I hiss, taking the last few steps to the counter to place it down. He’s fucking with my head that even mundane tasks like carrying a damn box is being compromised.
Asshole.
“You good?” She asks, “Is it that guy again? What’s his name… Killian?”
I’m too embarrassed to tell her.
“I’m fine,” I lie, “Tired. How many boxes left?”
“Three, then that mattress on the front yard.”
I nod, “Okay, let’s do this and after I’ll order us food and wine.”
“You owe me food and wine,” She grumbles, “Why didn’t you hire someone?”
“It’s my first home,” I tell her, heading back out to the van we rented to haul all my boxes and things over from her house and storage, “I wanted to do it myself.”
And now I’ve experienced it, I will never do it again.
She scrunches her nose up in distaste, “Next time, I’m busy.”
I laugh, “Noted.”
We get the last of the boxes inside and then team up to tackle the mattress, somehow managing to get it up the stairs and into the bedroom in one go, though I am covered in sweat when all is said and done.
Collapsing down onto the mattress on the floor, the only soft piece of furniture in the place, I try to catch my breath and cool down. Sloane joins me there and for a few delightful minutes, we lay there while my muscles pulse and heart races. Moving is more exercise than dancing.
All this would have been done hours ago if I had just told my brother, the guys would have done it in no time but at least this way I will get a few days of peace. The moment they know I’m all moved in, Sebastian will have Dean, the resident genius hook up security and I won’t know a moment of peace.
I complain a lot, but I do value my brother and everything he has done for me, but I want to live a little too.
“Food?” I ask.
“Fuck yes,” Sloane groans, “I am starving.”
Thirty minutes later, I’m placing the takeout containers on top of one of the boxes next to the mattress and then grabbing the stack of solos I pulled from one of the boxes so I can pour the wine.
“So classy,” Sloane laughs, accepting the cup I hand to her.
“Please,” I sip my own drink, “Pretty sure you drank out of a shoe at a college party once.”
She cringes, “Totally did but college Sloane and today Sloane are not the same people.”
I scoff, “You’re telling me.”
“Life, girl,” She stares down into her cup, “Fucks you up.”
I hum my agreement.
“God, I’m so fucking fed up with being sad all the time,” She growls out, reaching for a chicken wing from one of the containers.
“Babe,” I blink at her, “You’re allowed to be sad.”
“I know that,” She tears into the food, “But like I disappeared because it was taking over my life and even here, away from all that shit, it’s still taking over my life.”
I remain silent. I don’t know what to say, what Sloane went through isn’t something I’ve had to deal with myself and on top of it, she almost fucking died. So, I think she should probably cut herself some slack but it’s Sloane and if I know my best friend, she holds herself to the highest of standards.
“Can you tell me about your problems?” She pouts, “I don’t wanna be sad today.”
“Oh boy,” I blow out a breath, “Promise you won’t laugh at me? ”
“I pinky swear on that bottle of wine,” Her lashes flutter before she grins, “This is gonna be good isn’t it?”
“Depends on how you define good,” I grumble before I recount everything that happened with Killian, from the club to the day I spent at his house during the storm.
By the time I’m finished, her mouth is hanging open and the food is turning cold.
“What, and I mean this in the literal sense, the fuck?” She sits up suddenly, “He – you – what the fuck !?”
I shake my head, releasing a sigh, “I don’t even know.”
“This is fucked up,” She blows a raspberry with her lips, “He obviously wants you.”
I roll my eyes, “How’d you figure that?”
“Are you blind, Savannah?” She scoffs, “Either way, he sounds like a bit of a dick.”
I grunt my agreement and shovel some food into my mouth, using it to hide my embarrassment. I’m about to speak when my cell begins to ring in my pocket.
Pulling it out, I see a number I don’t recognize on the screen and hesitantly answer.
“Hello?”
“Savannah?” I recognize the voice immediately.
“Adrien, hi,” I widen my eyes at Sloane whose brows are somewhere in her hairline.
“How are you?” He asks.
“Um, good thanks, how did you get my number?”
He chuckles, “Listen, I hope this doesn’t sound crazy, but I had my manager get in touch with yours. You still owe me drinks.”
I cringe as I remember I promised to go out with him.
“Oh, right,” I shake my head at Sloane who happens to be nodding enthusiastically. “Well I–”
“Do it,” Sloane whisper hisses.
“Look,” Adrien continues, “I like you; I’d really like to take you out.”
My lips turn up, not sure how he can like me since he doesn’t actually know me.
“I swear to god, Savannah,” Sloane grips my wrist, “You need this.”
“When?” I swat at my best friend to back up, but she moves closer.
“How about tomorrow night?” Adrien says.
“Sure,” I agree, “I can do tomorrow.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven,” Adrien tells me before we say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone.
“I don’t like him,” I tell Sloane.
“It doesn’t matter,” She huffs, “This is going to help you.”
“Help me?” I laugh, “How!?”
“Well,” She downs the rest of her wine and then grabs the bottle to top up our cups, “It’s either going to help you get over this little crush you have on your brothers best friend because that is not healthy, or he’s going to find out about the date, lose his shit and finally take his head out of his ass and make you his.”
“You read too much,” I tell her, “And I’m not going to tell him so he’s not going to find out.”
“Savannah!” She pouts, “Fine, but it is going to be good for you. When was the last time you actually went on a date?”
I think back and wince, it’s been a while, a long while.
“See, maybe you don’t actually like Killian,” Sloane shrugs as she gets up off the mattress, “Maybe you’re just in a dry spell and he looks good enough to eat.”
“Oh my god,” I pinch the bridge of my nose and follow up behind her, both of us heading down to the front door as she gathers her things.
“Let me know how it goes,” She kisses my cheek and then she leaves, the house around me falling silent. A clock ticks somewhere inside one of the many unpacked boxes scattered throughout the house, the sound an echo that bounces off the walls.
I’m alone for the first time in a very long time so I head back up to what will be my bedroom and clean up the mess so I can get some sleep. I’m hardly excited for my date tomorrow, but maybe Sloane is right, and this is exactly what I need.
It’s not like I’m going to get married to the guy but someone else might be good to take my mind off Killian.
Because this isn’t healthy and at some point, I’ve got to move on.