Chapter Eleven
Ry opened the front door at four the next afternoon. Katie stood on the porch, and his heart almost stopped. Her face was drawn, and her eyes were overly bright as if she were fighting back tears.
“Hey, Katie.” He made his voice cheerful as he stood back and let her in.
He’d been afraid she wouldn’t show up. But she had. Her smile was forced. Not good.
“Ry.”
His stomach cramped with her one-word answer. His dominant side roared to life. Slipping his hand up her neck, he fisted her hair and tugged until he could stare into her eyes.
Her lashes started to lower.
“Look at me.”
Her eyes opened wide.
“That’s it, baby. Let it go. Let us take control.” He could see it in her gaze, the fight in whether to submit or not.
A tremor racked her body, and he loosened his grip on her hair. “Can you do that, Katie? Today, while you’re here with us, you’ll give us complete control over you?”
“I…” Her tongue darted out and wet her lips. She started to nod.
“No, Katie.” His fingers tightened in her hair. “I need words. I need to hear it from your lips.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Yes, Sir, what?”
“Yes, Sir, please take total control over me. I need it.”
His heart cracked. He loved her honesty about what she needed. It was another thing he loved about her. Loved? Yes, loved. The idea didn’t scare Ry; it only made him more determined to show her how good the three of them were together.
Another tremor shook her frame. “You are so brave, sweetheart.” He brushed a kiss over her lips. “I’m honored by your submission.” Ry glanced across the room to Jed. “Are you okay with this?”
“After we talk about what happened yesterday,” Jed said.
“Fuck,” she muttered.
Ry tried not to grin at her whispered curse but failed. “Behave.” He gave her a swat on her ass.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Go down to the dungeon; we’ll be along shortly.” He released her.
She turned and made her way to the door, opened it, and disappeared.
“Shit,” Jed said.
“Yeah.” Ry rubbed his eyes. “Whatever is bothering her is not going to be easy to get out of her.”
“I have to know, Ry.”
“We both do, Jed. We can’t have her running away when she’s scared, without talking things through with us. We need to find out what caused her reaction yesterday so we can move forward.”
* * * *
Katie sighed as she put on the sheer nightgown they had laid out on the bed for her.
Hell, why even bother since she was practically naked.
She shook her head. This is what they wanted.
It was what she wanted. She’d wrestled with her inner demons all day yesterday and had come to several conclusions.
Despite her panic, she trusted Ry and Jed to protect her from prying eyes. Her fear of being seen by others while she was in a submissive role came from what she witnessed in her father’s apartment. None of it wasn’t safe, sane, or consensual.
Ry and Jed practiced SSC. Also, she was very aware she wanted to give control over to Ry and Jed, as it was part of who she was. It had never been that way with anyone else but them. Once she’d come to her decision, she had begun to relax.
Until she stepped up onto the porch. Her hands had shook, and her stomach had clenched. Then Ry opened the door and asked her to let them take control. All her fear practically melted away. They still wanted her. She hadn’t even realized she was afraid they’d reject her until that moment.
She took her position and waited. She didn’t want to talk about yesterday, but they weren’t going to let her off the hook that easily. She’d slept all night, and this morning, when she woke, she knew she’d have to face them and explain what happened.
Heavy footsteps on the stairs caused her heart to flutter.
“Beautiful,” Jed whispered.
“Fucking gorgeous,” Ry said.
A rush of pleasure flowed over her at their words.
Was that it? Did she want their approval?
Yes, she did. Not many people had given her approval in her life, but these two gave it to her, and it warmed her heart.
But she also wanted their love and understanding.
Love? Oh, hell. Her breath caught in her throat.
She did want their love, because they were the only ones outside of her Gran who mattered to her.
“Look at us, sweetheart,” Ry commanded.
She raised her gaze. They were standing just to her right, both of them in sweatpants and nothing else. But they were tense, their arms held stiff at their sides and shoulders rigid.
“Come to us,” Jed said.
Katie did, and when she got to the two men, her bones grew weak.
It was all there for her to see in their eyes, their expressions, the way they held themselves.
They wanted to keep her safe, even from them if necessary.
Raising her arms, she wrapped one around Jed’s neck and the other around Ry’s neck.
Then she pulled the two men into her embrace.
They placed their hands on her waist. She soaked up their warmth and their power, but most of all, their love and desire.
“What happened yesterday, Katie?” Jed asked.
“Do we have to talk about it?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s talk about this someplace comfortable.” Ry scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed.
Within a minute, she was nestled between the two men. Warmth surrounded her, making her feel protected. This is what her life had been missing. Coming home had given her back the feelings of being safe and secure, feelings she’d been missing in New York City. Her heart jerked.
“Did I scare you yesterday?” Jed asked before Katie could fully follow her own train of thought.
“Oh, no, Jed.” She turned her head and kissed his rigid jawline. “You didn’t scare me.” She’d hurt Jed, and that made her angry with herself. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she whispered.
“Oh, Kitty Kat.” Jed squeezed her shoulders. “I wasn’t hurt but worried about you and why you had such a fierce reaction.”
“Why did you safeword, sweetheart?” Ry asked. “Jed told me everything, so help us understand.”
“I don’t even understand completely why I freaked out so much.”
Ry brushed her hair away from her face. “Tell us what happened.”
Katie outlined Jed taking her into the stall, tying her up, and how excited and scared she had been. How she’d been on edge for days and couldn’t wait to see what Jed had in store for her. She squirmed between the two men. She was getting wet just from remembering the heated play session.
“I played with your body.” Jed laid his palm on her right breast while Ry did the same to her left.
“Yes.” Oh, Lord, her breasts swelled beneath their warm palms, making her blood sing.
“And you climaxed,” Jed said, teasing her nipple to attention.
“Yes.” She fought not to arch into their touch. It was so distracting, but damn, it felt so good. So right.
“Then I turned away to get a vibrator, and you screamed out your safe word.”
“No…” She frowned. “Mike called your name.” Fear slid up her spine. Panic and dread filled her veins, and she tried to fight it down. She was safe here. There was no reason to panic.
“What are you thinking right now?” Ry dropped his hand from her and cupped her chin.
“I did say my safe word.” She watched the scene play in her head like a movie. “Jed had kissed me so I could taste myself.”
“Did that repulse you?” Jed asked.
She shook her head. “It didn’t bother me, but you turned away and…” Mike’s voice filtered through her mind. Her stomach started churning; her breathing became rapid, and a wave of dizziness swept over her. “Oh, shit.” She closed her eyes, fighting down the invading panic.
“Katie, talk to us,” Ry demanded in a hard voice.
“You aren’t going to like it,” she whispered.
“Ry didn’t ask you if we’d like it. Tell us. Now.” Jed’s voice was like steel cutting through the fog in her brain.
She registered the command. She took a breath and let it out slowly. They needed to know.
“At the time, I was afraid Mike would come back, see me spread out naked, you playing with me.”
Jed’s fingers grasped hers. “I promised you. No one would see you.”
“You actually said no one would barge in. You never said anything about anyone strolling in or you letting them into the barn.”
Jed let out a groan. “Katie, I would protect you. You have to know that.”
“Yes…no…” Hadn’t she’d come to that same conclusion? She went over the events in her mind once again. “Oh, hell.”
“Explain, please?” Ry’s voice grew quiet.
Katie lifted her gaze to meet his. “Fear. Deep, bone-chilling fear hit me.” She reached up with her free hand and touched his firm cheek.
“Then what happened?” Jed asked, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her stomach as Ry stroked her collar bone. Their touch made it easier for her to concentrate on her thoughts and chased her fears away.
“I don’t know. My mind kind of went blank. All I could think about was Mike walking back there, seeing me, and asking if he could play with us.” She shivered, and two male arms tightened around her—one on her shoulders, the other on her waist.
“Never.” Jed spit the word out. “We would never share you with anyone else.”
“Jed’s right. We would never hurt you like that.”
“I know.” She let her gaze drop. “Fear isn’t always rational.”
“No, it’s not, Katie.” Ry gripped her chin, tilting her head back until both men could gaze into her eyes.
“What made you call out ‘red’?” Jed asked.
“I was so scared.”
“We get that, sweetheart. But there has to be more.”
Katie bit her lip. What else happened? Her mind has flashed back to her father and Walter and what they did to that woman.
She assumed at first it was just Mike’s voice.
She thought it was coming closer, then wham, full blown panic.
“I don’t know. I just panicked.” She wasn’t ready to talk about this.
“Looks like we’ve hit another hidden trigger,” Ry said.
“Trigger?”
“Let me explain,” Jed said. “The blindfold reminded you of something when you were little. But you didn’t remember it until we blindfolded you. We call that a hidden trigger.”
“And you think that’s what happened?” She looked at Ry.