Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Liam
Jenna’s eyes widened as the roller coaster whizzed past, her hair blowing in the breeze. She looked up at me, her cheeks pink, hair messy, eyes bright. So fucking beautiful.
“You ready?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “Can’t wait. I love being launched into the sky before plunging toward Earth with just a little seatbelt holding me in.”
I searched her eyes, but there were so many emotions, each one racing by faster than the roller coaster behind us. “It’s a big harness actually, but if you don’t—”
“I’m kidding,” she said, her hand soft on my chest. “It’ll be fun.”
“Eh, this is easy,” Nicky scoffed. “Let’s go on that next.” She pointed over to the spinning, swinging pendulum.
“No way,” Jenna said. “I’ll puke on you.”
“Uh uh.” Juliette shook her head emphatically.
Ryan scowled at Nicky when she turned to him.
“Really?” She raised an eyebrow, hands on her hips. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a baby!” Ryan deepened his scowl and crossed his arms over his chest.
It was nothing like his real scowl. Did Nicky have any idea of the smile hidden beneath? He was absolutely going to go on it with her.
Dylan and I laughed.
“Screw you,” he said to us without any heat.
“Showtime,” Nicky said as the line moved, and we stepped up to the rollercoaster.
I helped Jenna on and sat next to her, checking her harness was securely fastened.
“Oh God,” she whispered, white knuckling the harness.
“Hold my hand,” I said, offering mine in the small space between us.
She shook her head quickly, her eyes wide.
“Come on,” I coaxed, twisting my hand to reach for hers. “I got you.”
Jenna hesitated, then pried one hand free from the harness and grabbed on, her grip fierce enough to crush bones.
“You’re okay,” I said softly.
“I know.” Her voice was tight, but she squeezed out a little smile.
The ride jolted to life, and she screamed from the second it started until it ground to a halt.
Then she laughed, breathless and exhilarated. “That was awesome!”
“What?” I shouted. “I can’t hear over the ringing in my ears.”
“Sorry,” she said, grinning. She didn’t look sorry at all.
“What’s next?” Nicky asked, glancing between Ryan and the pendulum of death with a sinister grin.
“How about a game?” I suggested, and everyone agreed, even Nicky.
We made our way past some food stands, the delicious scent of fried dough wafting through the air, and stopped at the ring toss.
We aggressively tried to out-toss each other, and in a surprise twist, only Juliette landed one.
She squealed, and the girls rushed her, hugging her like she’d won the lottery while Dylan watched with pride.
“Very impressive, baby,” he said when she threw her arms around him.
“Aww,” Jenna murmured, leaning her head on my shoulder as we watched them like proud parents.
They’d been through hell, and thank God they’d clawed their way back to health and back to each other, because the love they shared was something special.
I kissed Jenna’s forehead, love and gratitude for her filling my chest.
We wandered hand in hand through the park, trailing Dylan and Juliette who were also holding hands—and her giant stuffed cow—and Ryan and Nicky, who were bickering about funnel cake versus fried Oreos.
“Cute cow,” Jenna said, and Dylan steadied Juliette as she turned to smile back at her.
“Do you have a thing for cows?” I asked Jenna.
“What?” She looked up at me, brows furrowed. “No.”
“You have that longhorn painting in your bedroom?” It was big and whimsical, and it stuck out like a rainbow-colored sore thumb in her bunker-like bedroom.
“Oh, I just thought it felt very Texas-ish and fun.” Jenna said it lightly, but then she stiffened and hesitated, caught up on something behind my shoulder. I pulled her closer and followed her gaze.
“The Ferris wheel?” That’s what she was looking at, but her reaction didn’t make sense.
She nodded without taking her eyes off the spinning lights. I ran a finger down her jaw, gently turning her face toward me. She finally met my eyes, and I nearly drowned in the depth of despair churning in hers.
“Can we go on it?” she asked.
“You want to go on the Ferris wheel?” I clarified, because she looked like she was asking for a lobotomy, not a ride.
“Yes.”
I whistled softly to get the guys’ attention. Dylan and Ryan turned around immediately, followed by the girls. “Go on ahead,” I said. “We’ll meet up with you in a bit.”
They held my gaze, questioning it for a moment, then agreed with a chin lift, but the girls weren’t as easily convinced.
“What are you doing?” Nicky narrowed her eyes.
“Are you okay?” Juliette asked.
“I’m good,” Jenna answered. “Just want a little time alone.” She shot me a wide, fake smile.
They still hesitated, and I reminded myself I was glad she had friends who cared so much.
Dylan gently tugged Juliette’s hand, urging her to follow him, and she pulled Nicky with her. “Call if you need anything,” Ryan said before he followed them, too.
I gripped Jenna’s shoulders, anchoring her to me. “What’s going on, Firefly?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to go on the ride with you.”
I fought to keep my cool. The only thing I wanted as much as Jenna in my arms was my hands wrapped around Brian Belke’s neck.
I didn’t know for a fact that was it, but I knew.
Jenna had said their families did everything together, so it made sense that included amusement parks.
I should’ve thought of that before I brought her here.
“Stop,” she said firmly, as though she’d read my mind. “I’m okay. Better than okay. I’m having a great time.”
I pressed a kiss to her head, then tucked her under my arm and led her through the swarm of obliviously happy people to face whatever demons the Ferris wheel held for her.
I wanted to tell her she had nothing to prove and that she didn’t need to do this, but I didn’t.
She walked with a death grip on the back of my shirt and on my two little fingers, but her steps were determined and her head was held high, and I was so damn proud.
Surprisingly, she calmed as we waited in line, and resolve seemed to replace her nerves.
She stepped into the Ferris wheel car with purpose, only to jump at the click of the door closing.
She stared down at the park as the ride slowly ascended, pausing often to let people board the cars behind us.
Other than holding her hand, I left her to her own thoughts, although I watched her carefully.
I didn’t like the possibility of her having a flashback or panic attack while trapped ninety feet in the air.
When we were near the top, and the people on the ground looked like little specks, she finally met my eyes. Her beautiful blues were filled with steel.
“Firefly?”
She didn’t answer. Just moved our clasped hands to her upper thigh. To dangerous territory.
“Touch me,” she finally said.
What the fuck was I supposed to do? I’d give her anything she needed or wanted. But there’s no way this whole thing was just her acting on a whim or a fantasy. It had to be unhealthy for her to use me to get through her memories. What if I became entangled in them in her mind?
“Liam, touch me, please. I need you to.”
I still hesitated, and she twisted, throwing her leg over mine to straddle me.
I grabbed her hips to stop her from moving any closer, but she leaned in, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing the hell out of me.
Fuck, my damn cock didn’t get the message that she wasn’t there for him.
I held her hip firmly in one hand and cradled her cheek with the other, pushing her back and forcing her to meet my eyes. “Talk to me, Firefly.”
She held my gaze, so brave. “I was eight, and I was so excited to go on all the rides. We went on the swings first, so we each had our own swing, and it was like I was flying. I loved it. Couldn’t wait for more.
Then we went on the Ferris wheel and he.
.. It was bad. But he convinced them my tears were proof I was scared of the rides and needed him to go on more with me. ”
“Jenna,” I whispered, caressing her cheek. My heart cracked for the little girl she’d been.
“I hated rides and amusement parks, but you know what?”
“What?”
“It's not the parks or the rides, and it's not me either. It’s him. Brian fucking Belke. I don’t want it to be everything anymore, Liam.”
“It’s not, Firefly. You’re already so far past that.”
“It’s still too much. Help me face my fears. Replace those memories with good ones.”
She had no idea what she was asking of me. “Just a little, Firefly. None of our big firsts are going to be here, not like this. Not because of him.”
“Okay.” Her voice fucking shook.
“Sit in your seat for now. When we get to the top again, we'll make this a ride you’ll want to remember.”
She nodded, sitting back down next to me. “Thank you,” she murmured.
I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer. “We don’t have to, and we can stop anytime. You don’t have to do any more than you want.”
“I have to do this.”
“No,” I insisted. “You never have to do anything you don’t want.”
“I want to do it.”
I cupped her face with my free hand. “You’ll tell me if you stop wanting it.”
She nodded.
Spearing my hand into her hair, I held her gaze. “I love you, Firefly.”
She gasped, lips parting in surprise before blooming into a smile so warm and soft it felt like the first rays of sunrise breaking through the darkness.
“I didn’t plan to tell you today. Definitely not in the middle of a thing about that asshole. But I want you to know. When I touch you, I want you to know I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Happiness shone in her beautiful eyes, pushing away the ghosts lurking there, for the moment at least.
The lights and sounds from the park faded away, and it was just me and Jenna on top of the world. “We’re almost at the top,” I said softly. “What do you want to do?”
She straddled me again, and this time I didn’t stop her.
She didn’t stop either. Not until her body was pressed up against mine, my clueless cock eagerly reaching for her.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me, running my hands up and down her back.
She rested her cheek against my chest. I’d love to give her all the time in the world to get used to this if she didn’t pick a damn ride to do it on.
The ride lurched forward one more notch then stopped at the top to let people board, giving us time alone on top of the world. Time out of anyone’s view.
I let my hands wander, grazing the sides of her breasts, her hips, her thighs. She gasped, her hips jerking toward me.
Fuck, I needed to see her face. I needed to know if I could enjoy her beautiful body, or if I was the world’s biggest dirtbag for doing this to her.
One hand on her thigh, I slid the other back up, over her thigh, her hip, my thumb tracing the edge of her stomach, her perfect chest, her delicate collarbone, and I grabbed hold of her face and pushed her back.
Her eyes, deep and wide and clear as the Caribbean, gaped at me. Shock and wonder and awe. “It feels good,” she whispered incredulously.
My girl was a fucking warrior. I crashed my lips onto hers, and I dipped into her waistband, teasing the top edge of her panties. She grabbed my biceps, holding tight. I broke the kiss, pulling back to see her, but she dropped her head against my chest.
“Uh uh, eyes on me.”
She looked back up, those beautiful, awestruck eyes holding mine. With a single finger, I drew a line from one hip to the other. And back across again, a little lower, brushing against her soft curls.
“More?”
She nodded solemnly.
I slipped my hand further under her skirt and leggings, but over her underwear, and I slid a finger over her slit.
“Oh!” Her jaw dropped in surprise. With pleasure too, I hoped.
“Again?”
“Yes!”
I touched her again, my cock jumping eagerly between us.
The air shifted, electricity zinging between us, but then the ride lurched forward. “We’re going down.” I pulled my hand away, and reluctantly shifted her back to her seat, but I held her close against me.
She held me tightly right back, her face buried in my chest as we descended, faster now.
I brushed her hair away and whispered near her ear. “You good, Firefly?”
She leaned back and looked up at me, her face aglow. “Yeah. Really good.”
I adjusted myself before getting off the ride, trying to hide what she’d made me feel. Hopefully no one was looking, and thankfully it was getting dark and I had time to get myself under control before I had to face Ryan and Dylan.
“Anything else you want to do?” I asked.
“Win me a stuffed animal to snuggle with the nights you work.”
Did she just say what I thought she said? I tried to keep my voice casual. “Just the nights I work?”
She nodded, looking up at me with a big smile.
“What will you snuggle with the nights I don’t work?”
“Are you volunteering for the job?”
“Fuck, yes, Firefly.