Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
Liam
“Ready to go to bed?”
Jenna nodded. I hated how quiet she was. I should’ve kicked her parents out the first time they made her cry. Instead, I’d let them come back today, which ended up being as bad as yesterday. I hated that they didn’t come immediately and didn’t stay longer, but also, thank God they didn’t.
“Want to go wash up while I take care of Thor and lock up?”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
She trudged up the stairs like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Fuck her parents for making her feel like this. She’d been so damn strong until they came. I was going to get my Firefly back, and I was going to protect her from anyone who tried to dim her light. Her family included.
I threw a ball for Thor in the yard and played tug-of-war with him. We both needed to work some frustration out. I’d love to go a few rounds with a punching bag—even though it was a poor substitute for the fuckers I really wanted to pound—but I wouldn’t leave Jenna to do it. Not yet.
While I was out there, I checked in with my parents.
“How’s Jenna? How are you?” my mom asked.
“Not great,” I admitted. “She’s trying, but she’s hurting.”
“And you?”
I sighed. Then I swiped at the tears that I couldn’t stop. “Why the hell did I leave her? I knew he was after her, I fucking knew she was in danger, and I left her.”
“Liam,” my dad said, his voice cracking too.
“You didn’t know he was right there. If you’d tried to keep her locked away, it would’ve broken her spirit, and that asshole would still be waiting for his chance.
You did the best you could. She’s still here to fight, so let go of your guilt and help her win that fight.
What’s done is done. Look forward, for both of you. ”
“Thanks, guys, and thank you for being there for Jenna. It means a lot to both of us. Love you.”
“We love you too, sweetheart. Give Jenna our best.”
I found Jenna already in bed, curled up facing the door, the covers up to her chin, looking so fucking sad. I dropped a quick kiss on her forehead, then went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, trying to stay calm despite the fury burning in my gut.
I stripped down to my boxers and got into bed, my eyes on Jenna as she watched me.
I lay on my back, one arm open, and waited for her to scoot closer, but she tugged on my other arm instead, wrapping it around her waist as she rolled away pulling me with her.
She pressed her back to my chest, her ass to my crotch.
Fuck. I didn’t know whether to be thrilled or terrified.
I wrapped my arms around her. Thor circled, then settled in front of her.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” she managed, heavy with exhaustion. “Wait…no” she said after a beat, an odd note creeping into her voice.
My radar went up, every nerve on edge, but I forced my body to stay relaxed for her.
Jenna rolled to face me, her eyes wide but bright. “No,” she repeated more firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. “I’m not okay. And that’s alright.”
Warmth bloomed in my chest, easing my worry. “It sure is, Firefly.”
Wonder. That’s what I heard in her voice. Like she’d just discovered a new superpower.
Her lips curved into a small smile. “That’s enough for now, just knowing that.”
She rolled back over, fitted her ass against my crotch—with an extra wiggle—and before long, her breathing evened out.
I stayed up and let my mind drift back to what my dad had said.
She was still here fighting, and I was immeasurably grateful for that.
She was in my arms, still trusting me to keep her safe.
Trusting me, and herself, enough to admit she wasn’t okay.
Sometime after I’d eventually fallen asleep, Jenna bolted upright.
I was immediately awake, assessing her and looking into the darkness, barely illuminated by the nightlight, listening for danger. “You okay, Firefly?”
“I want to go home.”
What the hell? She didn’t want to stay here with me?
I reached over to turn on the lamp. Jenna sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, but despite the nervous position, her eyes burned with determination.
“To your apartment? To stay?” She wasn’t in any physical danger; there was no reason she had to be here. But fuck no. I couldn’t leave her there alone. I wouldn’t.
“No. To Atlanta. To my parents. I want to tell them everything.”
I laid my hand over hers, my thumb drawing circles over her knuckles. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m tired of pretending. I pretend I’m okay.
Pretend I’m not scared. Pretend I’m not mad.
Pretend to drink. Pretend I’m too busy for graduation.
Why? Snake Eyes knew I was scared of him.
My parents think I’m pathetic and you’re controlling.
Tyler thinks I don’t care about him. I’m not fooling anybody.
Maybe I fooled myself into thinking it worked, but that’s it.
I’m done pretending.” She sat up a little taller, exhaling a long breath.
“I’m going to tell them the truth about everything, and I’m going to tell Tyler I love him and I miss him and I want to go to his graduation. ”
Hope roared to life deep inside me, her light, brilliant and unstoppable, shattering the darkness. Careful to only let a drop of that seep into my words, I said, “I think that’s a great idea, Firefly.”
“I thought I was being strong, pushing through without letting my fear stop me, but it took on a life of its own, and now I don’t even know what’s real or fake.
” Her voice wavered and a tear rolled down her cheek, even sadder against the determination in eyes.
“I’ve been pretending for so long, I don’t even know who I am. ”
I sat up and kissed her cheek, the saltiness making my own eyes sting.
"You’re still you. When you feel safe, like when you’re with me or with Juliette and Nicky, you’re yourself.
When you feel the need to protect yourself, that’s part of you too.
And that’s okay. It’s not all of you. Deep in your soul where no one can touch it, you’re a brilliant, unstoppable light, full of love and beauty.
” I held her hand over my chest. “Can you feel the way my heart pounds for you? That’s your wild, fierce, uncontainable light blazing through me.
Feel it, Firefly, and let it guide you through the darkness. ”
She laid her cheek against my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her, hoping she could feel all the faith I had in her. Couldn’t she absorb it through some kind of magic—or osmosis, maybe—until she loved and believed in herself as much as I did?
“You’ll come with me, right?”
“Of course. I’ll be right by your side the entire time.”
“Good.”
“He’s going to be there?” I confirmed.
She looked up, fear in her eyes. “His parents still live across the street, and he lives a few minutes away, but he supposedly spends most of his time there. He’s a good child for visiting his parents… unlike me,” she added bitterly.
I blew out a breath and imagined tearing him apart inch by inch, starting with his dick.
“Liam, you can’t,” she said, obviously reading my mind.
“I can’t make any promises, Firefly. If he comes near you or says a fucking word to you, I’m going to do what needed to be done a long time ago.”
She looked like she wanted to argue, but she nodded. She knew she couldn’t stop me. Probably also knew I’d do it whether he came near her or not. The fucker was going to pay.