Chapter 41 #2
I prayed he was right. It would either bring peace or the worst chaos I’d ever known. I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed him, then I rolled my shoulders back and walked out of my room, closing the door behind us.
We met my mom in the foyer. “Hi, Mom.”
She grabbed my hands and pulled me in for a quick air kiss, her cheekbone banging my bruised cheek. “Hi, love. I’m happy you’re here, but what’s this all about?”
I backed up closer to Liam, and tucked my hair behind my ear, surreptitiously rubbing my aching cheek. “Let’s wait for Dad.”
Liam wrapped his left arm around me and reached out to shake Mom’s hand. “Nice to see you again, Kathryn.”
“Nice to see you, too.” She shook his hand but only spared him a glance. “Dad’s still working. Why don’t you and I talk—alone?”
“I’d rather wait, and Liam is staying.” I was proud of how firm my voice sounded.
“Okay, then. Are you hungry? I thought I’d order in Italian.”
“Maybe later.” Food was the furthest thing from my mind.
We sat in the living room, Liam and me on the couch, and my mom in one of the armchairs across from us.
The seconds crawled by as we made awkward small talk until my dad came barreling in.
“Sorry, I came home as early as I could.” His steps faltered as he looked between the three of us. “What’s going on?”
I hoped he’d take a minute after his commute like he usually did, but instead he parked himself on the other armchair.
Oh, God. This was it. I’d flown across the country and told them to come home because I had something important to tell them.
Dragged Liam here with me. There was no backing out now.
“I…”
“What is it? Are you pregnant?” Mom asked, looking horrified.
“No! But if I was, that would be good news.”
Liam squeezed my knee.
“Are you sick?” Dad asked, worry deepening his voice.
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s something that happened a long time ago.”
They leaned in, eyes intent on me. It was too much. It’s what I’d asked for, but it would make it really awkward if I vomited now, which seemed a likely possibility.
“I…I need water.” I jumped to my feet and escaped to the kitchen.
Liam followed, of course. He leaned against the counter while I got a glass of water, then he opened his arms, and I set it down, untouched, to wrap myself around him. He held me tight and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“This morning you were sure you wanted to tell them. Do you still want to?”
I nodded against his chest.
“You’ve got this, Firefly. They’re listening, and I’m here for you. It’ll be alright.”
“Okay,” I whispered. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. “Okay,” I repeated louder. Steadier. “I’m ready.”
“That’s my girl. Let’s go.”
We settled back onto the couch, all attention on me again. “So, when I was younger…I don’t know exactly when it started, but sometime around seven or so…Brian…he…”
Oh God, I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t make the words come out. Once they were out, I couldn’t take them back. Couldn’t stop whatever happened next. Whatever they might say. What they would think of me.
Liam squeezed my knee. I looked up at him, and he raised his brows, asking an unspoken question. Do you want to tell them?
I nodded. I did, even though I was terrified.
He squeezed my knee again. You got this.
I got this.
I sucked in a breath and gripped the edge of the couch. “Brian...he...touched me.” My voice was small and shaky, the words burning like acid as they came out, but I said it. I said it, and now I couldn’t take it back.
My mom’s gaze slipped away, her lips pressing into a thin line, but my dad stared at me, his eyes slowly hardening. “Brian did what?” he ground out, his voice strained.
I looked down at the worn beige carpet, the weight of his shock more than I could bear. “He…he touched me, and he made me touch him. I didn’t want to do it,” I cried out. “I really didn’t.”
“He hurt you?” My dad shot to his feet, his voice rising as he paced across the room. “We treated him like family, invited him into our house—”
His anger crashed over me, loosening something in my chest.
“But you—why didn’t you tell us?” my mom asked.
“I tried.”
“No, you didn’t!”
I met my mom’s eyes, something deep inside my heart needing her to believe me. “I did. The first time, you asked if he hurt me, and I didn’t know what to say because it didn’t hurt.”
My mom stiffened, a shutter slamming down behind her eyes. “I remember that,” she muttered, her voice edged with horror. “You said he didn’t do anything, though.”
The little bit of hope I hadn’t meant to hold onto crumbled, leaving that space hollow. Empty. Cold. “No, I said he didn’t hurt me.”
“Same thing!”
“I was nine. I was confused.”
“You knew?” My dad said to mom, the quiet fury in his voice scarier than any yelling would have been.
“She said it was nothing!” My mom turned to me. “You said it was okay!”
“No. I... You said it was okay. You said I was being sensitive.”
“Why would I say that? How could you think it was okay?”
“Kathryn.” My dad’s voice was low and ominous, a tone I’d never heard from him sending a chill through me. “Did you know about this?”
“No, I swear. She said it was fine, so I thought it was just a misunderstanding. He was just a kid too. The Belkes are a good family, and she and Brian always got along well. They were friends,” she pleaded, as though she was the one on trial, but then she turned on my dad, her voice turned accusatory.
“Did you see anything wrong when they were together?”
“He tricked us!” My dad jammed his fingers into his hair. “That son of a bitch tricked her and us, and he abused her right under our noses!”
I flinched, but only Liam seemed to notice.
“But…but we all spent so much time together. Some of our best times were with Gloria, John, and Brian. All our vacations. If we didn’t have them, we wouldn’t have had anyone to spend the holidays with.
We wouldn't have had anyone! And, and...” My mom grasped for words, looking almost desperate.
“And you asked to spend time alone with Brian. Why would we think you had a problem with him?”
“Yeah,” my dad said, his voice laced with confusion. “You did ask to see him. And you were always looking at him when we were together. We thought you liked each other.”
Pain stabbed me in the heart. “No! I hated that you thought that! I never liked him. I hated being with him. I tried to ask you not to see them.”
“Oh God, you did,” Mom said. “I didn’t know why, though. How could we have known?”
Liam reached for my hand, but I pulled away and stood, edging over until my back hit the wall.
I wrapped my arms around myself, holding myself together.
“I tried to tell you. You didn’t believe me.
” The picture from upstairs, with my sad, haunted eyes, slipped into my mind.
“Couldn’t you tell something was wrong? That I was scared and unhappy? ”
“No, you were just...you,” my dad said, dropping back into his chair. “You were always...reserved. A bit nervous.”
“Didn’t you ever wonder why?”
My dad swiped at his eyes. Shook his head. “How long did he abuse you for?”
“Until I was eleven.” Despite what Liam said, I still didn’t consider the later stuff to be as much his fault. I definitely wasn’t telling them about that.
“I don’t understand,” my mom cried out. “How? How did he do that to you for so long without us knowing? It doesn’t make sense.”
My dad’s fury faded, sadness etching deep lines in his face instead. “All those dinners and holidays...we were right there. Right the hell there! You could have come to us. Why—”
“Enough!” Liam growled, stopping him.
I still heard his blame, though, loud and clear.
My heart shattered, a sob tearing out of its remnants.
I felt so little and helpless again. “Even when you were there, it didn’t matter!
” I cried. “And you left me alone with him, too.” Memories assailed me, shudders running through me.
The loneliness and shame when they were there, the fear when I was alone, all the long terrifying nights, worrying and waiting for him.
My mom raised her hands and dropped them into her lap. “We had to work! Gloria and John were our friends, and Brian was just a kid himself. We left you with them so you’d be safe. If you’d only told us...”
“I did tell you! Twice! And you didn’t believe me. You accused me of being jealous! You still made me see him.”
“You asked to see him! You went out of your way to be with him. That’s why it didn’t make any sense when you were so mad at him.”
“It...” I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could get any more words out. “It was complicated.” I straightened. Even if it was my fault for going along with it, I’d never regret protecting Tyler. “He threatened Ty. That’s why I had to…spend time with him.”
My mom clapped a hand over her mouth. “He molested Tyler too?”
My body jerked at the ugly word. Molested.
“I don’t think so. I tried…I tried to stop him. I think I did.”
My mom’s shoulders collapsed, the fight draining out of her.
My dad growled. “How?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
“Jenna, what did you have to do to stop him?”
“Roger,” Liam warned.
My dad shot to his feet. “I’m going to kill that bastard!” Then, before I could react, he stormed out of the house.
“Stop him!” I yelled to Liam. “He’s going to hurt Brian and get in trouble. Or Brian will hurt him.”
“I got it, Firefly.” He ran out of the house, too.
A second too late, I realized he was more likely to help my dad kill Brian than to stop him. I chased after them.
My dad was pounding on their door as I sprinted across the street. John opened it, and my dad grabbed him by the collar, pushing him against the door and into the house. “Do you know what your son did?”
“Roger, what’s going on?”
Ignoring him, he bellowed into the house. “Brian!”
“Dad!” I’d never seen him like this, not even close.