Chapter 47
47
Dylan
T he IV in the back of my hand and the oxygen mask on my face were iron chains binding me to this bed. All I’d been doing was waiting for others to save me. First, waiting in the fucking bathroom for help during the fire. Now lying in this fucking hospital bed waiting for my friends to find Juliette or for Juliette to get the fuck over herself and fucking come back to me.
How the fuck did this even happen? Locking doors was supposed to keep us safe. How did the safe choice always end up being the wrong choice? Where are you, Juliette? Was she scared and alone out there? Was she hurt? What if her stitches opened? Did she reinjure her ankle? Fuck, how many times could I fail her? I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.
And what the fuck did Chief Pratt say? After this was over, I was taking it to the top brass. The reckless decision to rush into the house without securing backup rested squarely on my shoulders. I was self-aware enough to know that Gianna’s ghost—the image of what was left of her head, the crushing guilt—drove me to do it. And in some part, Pratt’s dressing down had piled that guilt and grief even higher. He was a loose cannon. But now he’d hurt Juliette. If he made her do something reckless… I’d kill him.
My door creaked open, and for a brief moment, my heart pounded with hope instead of fear. Eli, Max, and my parents rushed in. I swallowed the crushing disappointment that it wasn’t Juliette and tried to smile.
They surrounded me with the solemn awkwardness that always filled a hospital room. My mom sat in the chair that Juliette was in earlier and cautiously grasped my hand. “My sweet boy, are you okay?”
My dad stood behind my mom, his hands on her shoulders. “You look good, son.”
Eli and Max sat uncomfortably on the other side of the bed. “What kind of firefighter tries to fight a fire with his bare hands?” Eli said with a forced lightness.
“Good to see you alive, bro,” Max quipped, earning a glare from Mom. That finally had me smiling for real.
I pulled down the oxygen mask and painfully tried to clear my throat, hoping my voice would come out strong to ease their worries and not exacerbate them.
“Water?” It came out quiet and raspy, but better than before.
My mom eagerly refilled my cup and stood to hold the cup and straw for me. I could drink by myself, but her need to help was palpable.
After a few painful swallows, I gently pushed her hand away. “Hi,” I finally said. “I’m okay.”
Cue the tears from my mom, and my dad too. “I don’t know if I should be proud of you or furious with you. You risked my baby to save another baby.” More tears.
“Sorry. Bet you wish I was a banker.”
“No, honey, that was our plan, not yours, and it was shortsighted of us to think that was the only way to succeed. You never could have been happy sitting at a desk all day. You’ve scared years off my life, but we’re so proud of you. You make the world a safer place.”
I blinked back the sting of tears. “Thanks, Mom,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.
“Oh, my sweet boy, I hope you’re only saying this now because you’re upset. You have to know that we feel nothing but pride for what you’ve accomplished. I hope you’re proud of yourself too. No matter what happens—” My mom broke off.
My dad rubbed her shoulder and picked up where she left off, leaving me flayed open. “No matter what happens after this, we’re proud of the man that you are, and we have no doubt that you will continue to find ways to succeed, whatever that looks like, because that’s who you are.”
Damn. My already aching chest couldn’t handle this now. Had I been holding onto guilt and doubts for all these years for no reason? Juliette tried to tell me. She had to come back, so I could tell her she was right.
“Yo, where’s your girl?” Max asked, reading my mind.
“Is she okay after what that man said?” My mom asked, wiping her cheeks. “He was so nasty and foul-mouthed. He made me so angry with what he said about you and all the firefighters who worked so hard to save you. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but your dad wouldn’t let me.”
I didn’t want to hear any more about how fucking Pratt upset Juliette, and I didn’t know how to answer Max’s question without making Juliette look bad. They didn’t know her like I did. They wouldn’t understand why she wasn’t by my side. She should be here. There was no way she would leave if she was thinking rationally. But I didn’t want to tell them that either.
Before I could come up with an answer, Liam and Ryan came in. They talked to my parents about how much better I was doing and razzed me with my brothers for my recklessness until I couldn’t wait another second.
“Juls?” I cut in, sharper than I intended.
Ryan’s expression sobered. “She’s not at her house or yours. We’ve talked to Jenna and Nicky, and they’re calling everyone they can think of. We got her phone from your car and used it to call her sister and parents. Sorry, but no one’s heard from her. Beth hasn’t found her again since she saw her walking away from the hospital. She’s using a face recognition app on traffic cams. The good news is that she didn’t see any sign of Leo, and Quint confirmed that Kayla is locked up. We spoke to Quint about putting in a missing person report with the SAPD. He said we can’t file an official report at this point, but unofficially he’ll be on the lookout for her and pass the word around. We’ve put calls out to the other guys at our firehouse and Station 7 and also some of the law enforcement guys we’re friendly with—Cruz, Dax, Hayden, TJ…” he paused, then continued in a rush. “Calder. You know, everyone, so they can all spread the word, too,” he finished, trying and failing to smooth over what he just implied.
“It won’t fucking be Calder,” I growled out then coughed until I couldn’t catch my breath.
Liam fixed my oxygen mask, even as I tried to push him away. The fear running through my veins was stronger than my need to breathe. “Stop,” he said as he held my hands down. “Stop what you’re thinking.” He glared at Ryan. “What Ryan meant to say is that we told everyone we could think of. There’s nothing more to it than that.”
I’d already been worrying about how desperate Juliette must be feeling, and how alone she was. This situation must be preying on all her worst insecurities and fears about having dyspraxia. But hearing Ryan say that he’d put the medical examiner on alert for Juliette was a punch to the gut. There’s only one reason why Calder would be the one notified of Juliette’s whereabouts, and that wasn’t fucking happening.