Chapter 18
SKY
Just as things were looking up, it hit me in a blistering wave. The feeling that I’d secretly hoped I’d never feel again, but here it was, making me feel hot and prickly all over as my body primed and readied itself for being mated.
My heat was coming—fast—and panic was quick on its heels. I paced around my room, raking my fingers through my hair as I tried to calm myself down.
No! Not now! Why now? I’d never gone through this unsupervised before, and it came with so many bad feelings. Terrible memories, memories of being stripped naked, strapped down to a table and injected with a cocktail of who-knew-what.
The tension beneath my skin mounted, and with it came arousal. Fuck. What did I do now? Fear licked at me like tendrils of fire. I reached down and squeezed my cock, but it was hard as iron and leaking in my pants already. I hated it. Hated myself for being so horny and desperate.
Because a big part of me wanted to go to Fletcher and Adam for comfort, to plead with them to help me…
.but a darker part of me, the insatiable side?
It twisted my mind, taunting me with images of Adam, his hands on my body, his mouth on my neck, taking me to bed with him.
My wolf knew the Alpha could calm my heat, but god, it was so wrong.
Fletcher would hate me forever if he found out.
I’d be a home wrecker! I’d have to leave Greymercy forever.
I sat on the side of my bed and cried, emotions ringing through me.
I couldn’t leave my room. I didn’t trust myself.
When Fletcher came knocking on my door, my voice pitched high as I all but screamed at him to leave me alone.
Fuck… Maybe I deserved to be chained to the bed so I wouldn’t do anything reckless.
But it got worse. I grew more and more horny, my cock aching so badly it hurt.
I humped the bed, seeking friction, seeking relief, whimpering into my pillow as I begged whatever gods were out there to just leave me alone.
What did I do to deserve this? I was scared, because things were getting hazy.
I could feel myself starting to dissociate, and I was afraid I really would do something bad.
My heart racing a thousand miles an hour, I slipped out of my room and sought Adam.
“Adam?” My voice trembled. He turned to look at me, and I saw it—the moment he smelled my heat, his nostrils flaring, pupils dilating.
“I-I need you to lock me up,” I said, trying to keep my wits about me and not throw myself at the Alpha.
“What?”
“Tie me to the bed! Something, anything! I don’t want to do something I’ll regret later, just… Please… Just until it’s over.” I let out a whimpering cry. “I’m scared. I hate this, I hate it so much and I don’t want to do this, Adam…” I hugged myself, as if that could make it better.
Adam didn’t move. He stared down at me, his expression calm but concerned. “Sky, I’m not tying you down. That would make me no better than your abuser—”
“If you don’t, I might do something bad!
” I cried, lurching forward. Frantically clawing at Adam’s chest, my hormones made my energy spike and skyrocket.
I knew I was out of control, but Adam caught my wrists in his hands and handled me calmly.
I could see the lust reflected back to me in his eyes, though.
My scent was affecting him. The way his nostrils flared, the way his fingers twitched over my skin. Like he was holding himself back.
I jerked away, out of his grasp. “I-I need to go.”
“What?” Adam barked.
“I need to leave. I can’t be here, can’t be here right now. Not like this. I’m sorry!” I spun away, but Fletcher blocked my path, and my exit.
He raised his hands in front of me. “Sky, take a deep breath, okay? Think this through. You can’t leave. You’re very vulnerable right now and there are people—Alphas—out there who would abuse you in your time of need. You’re safe here, please believe that.”
I began to cry, burying my face in my hands. “I hate this… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Sky, why are you sorry?” Fletcher asked gently, but I couldn’t force the words out. Shame and guilt swarmed me like flies on a corpse. I shook my head and retreated to my bedroom, needing to jerk off or finger myself—something, anything to relieve the mounting pressure.
God, how was I going to survive this?