Chapter 43
SKY
As the pregnancy progressed, so did my worries about the baby’s health.
In the facility, Dr. Thompson had taken so many scans and tests, but when Adam mentioned perhaps we should set up an ultrasound, I’d nearly come unglued. I’d had a panic attack, and it’d taken both my mates to calm me down.
I hated I was so broken, hated I couldn’t function like a normal member of society thanks to my past. Adam had called it “medical PTSD,” but giving it a name did nothing but make it even more obvious that I had a problem.
And it made me worry about the baby. What was going to happen when it was time to have the baby? Just the idea of going to the hospital for an ultrasound terrified me—what about childbirth? Would they have to sedate me? Was that even possible? Would it hurt the baby?
God, why was I such a fuck-up?
“Penny for your thoughts?” Adam leaned over the couch from behind, his arms crossed atop the back of it so that he could look down at me. I was curled up with a blanket, trying to manage the anxiety humming like an electric current through my system.
He could probably sense that my energies were unstable. I sure as hell didn’t feel stable right now, that was for sure. I hugged my arms to my sides and looked up at the Alpha, my heart taking off in jagged beats.
“You’re gonna need more than one penny for these thoughts.” I pushed the blankets back and sat up. “More like a whole handful.”
Adam’s lip curved. “I think I can afford it.” He came around the side of the couch and sat beside me, his outer leg pressed against mine and his hand settling over my knee. “What’s worrying you, love? Talk to me. You know I’m always here to listen.”
I thought about it for a minute or two, trying to untangle the threads of worry to put them into sentences that made sense.
“I’m scared,” I finally admitted. “I’m scared of going to the hospital.
I’m scared of having a baby. I’m scared of doctors, but the baby needs to see doctors, and I’m worried that if I don’t go and something is wrong and it dies, I’ll never forgive myself. ”
“I see. That’s a lot of burden for one Omega to carry,” Adam murmured.
I sniffed and nodded. “What happens when the baby’s ready to come out?
We’ll have to go to the hospital and I’ll freak out and everything will go wrong!
What if I hurt it somehow? What if I have a heart attack from panicking?
I don’t want to go back there, Adam…” A soft whine came up my throat, petering into silence.
He reached up and cupped my face in his hand.
“Breathe, Sky. One thing at a time, alright? Fletcher and I are already working on alternative methods for childbirth. There are always midwives who do home births. Barring any medical emergencies, you’d be able to have your baby right here, at home. There are options, so don’t panic yet.”
“Also, since you aren’t comfortable going to the hospital to get an ultrasound done, I’m bringing the ultrasound to you.”
I blinked. “Wait. That’s a thing?”
Adam smiled. “Sure is. In fact, I’ve already done a little research and found someone willing to make the journey to Greymercy for us.” He squeezed my hand. “We’ve got you, baby. We won’t let you down. Besides, don’t you want to know your baby’s gender?”
I nibbled on my lip nervously. I did want to know. As my belly got bigger and bigger, I found myself wondering whether it was a little boy or a little girl slumbering deep in my womb.
“Okay,” I agreed. “But I want you both there.”
“Of course,” Adam assured me, kissing my temple.
Two weeks later, an older woman with silvering blonde hair showed up on our doorstep with a portable ultrasound machine. It looked like an oversized, bulky laptop, honestly. I wasn’t sure how she was going to get images of the baby with that, but she seemed pretty certain, so I went along with it.
“Lie down on the bed and get comfortable. Your mates can lie beside you, if they wish,” she said, setting up shop on a small three-legged stool beside our bed.
I did as she asked. Fletcher settled in next to me, gently pulling my shirt up to expose the swell of my stomach to the cool air. I shivered. He squeezed my hand with a smile, while Adam stood at the head of the bed on the other side of me, his hand on my shoulder.
The doctor spread blue goo over my skin, then ran a little wand over my belly. My heart galloped like a runaway mustang, my eyes glued to her face as she worked. Her focus was on the screen of her device, on the strange sounds the machine made.
After a moment, she paused. “Hear that?” We all keened our ears to the soft whooshing noise amidst the crackling. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat. Very strong, healthy baby.”
She moved the wand again, slowly and methodically. Thorough. My stomach twisted, and I gripped Fletcher’s hand a little tighter.
The woman smiled. “First time?”
“Kind of…” I admitted.
She nodded, as if she understood, then turned the screen towards us, so that we could see. “This is your baby. Say hi, daddies.”
I squinted, staring hard at the black and white blob on the machine, but even as she pointed out the different body parts, I couldn’t make head or tails of it.
“But everything’s okay?” I asked. “Everything’s normal?”
“Yes, everything looks wonderful. Would you like to know the gender, or are you the type to want it to be a secret until the time comes?” Her blue eyes twinkled.
“No, I wanna know,” I blurted. “It’s driving me crazy.”
She beamed. “You’re having a baby girl. Congratulations. I have the feeling that she’s going to be very spoiled with three daddies to dote on her.”
My eyes stung, emotion threatening to overflow. A little girl. A daughter. I was going to have a daughter.
I sort of zoned out as the doctor packed up and left. Once we were alone, I shook my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe this is really happening…”
“It’s happening, baby,” Adam murmured, kissing me. “You’re doing so good. Cooking that baby at just the right temperature.”
Fletcher snorted. “It’s not a turkey, Adam.”
I laughed out loud and touched my belly. “She’s way too small to be a turkey. Maybe a Cornish hen.”
The next day, we went into work with the ultrasound pictures that the doctor had printed off for us.
Everyone gathered around to see them, ooh-ing and aah-ing over the blob in the photos.
My blob. My baby. I felt a rush of pride as my coworkers started asking a thousand questions—“When’s the due date?
” and “What are you having?” and “Are you doing a gender reveal party?” and “Do you have any names picked out?”
“When is the baby shower?” Josie asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet, her eyes glittering with excitement. “I’m so buying you guys something awesome!”
“We haven’t decided on a date yet,” Fletcher said. “I promise, you will be the first to know.”
Adam cleared his throat, which almost immediately quieted the chatter. “While I’ve got you all here, let me make a small announcement.”
“Uh-oh,” Kirk mumbled, which caused a few people to laugh.
Adam’s lip quirked in a smile.“Fletcher and I are going to be taking some family leave in January, to help Sky with the preparations for fatherhood.”
He and Fletcher exchanged a look, and I tilted my head, curious. “However, we will also be hiring a few new people to fill out the roster, because when we do come back in the spring, we will both be stepping into a more managerial role versus being on the floor so much.”
Gasps and sounds of surprise rose up, but Adam held up his hand.
“I know. It’s a big change, because we’ve been such a big part of Bixby’s for so long, but it’s time to let this baby bird fly on its own two wings.
We have faith in all of you, and we’ll always be here, running the show.
Just more behind-the-scenes work, if you will.
We’re going to have a family now, and unlike my father before me, I want to be there for my daughter growing up. ”
“You’d better bring that baby to visit,” Josie warned.
“Of course,” Fletcher assured her. “You know we will. We can’t stay away. Bixby’s is our home and our heart, and so are all of you. Our work pack.” He grinned. “But just because we’re away doesn’t mean you can all slack off. We’ll still be popping in here to check in on you.”
“Yeah, Kirk,” someone taunted. “No slacking off.”
“Oh, screw off,” Kirk scoffed back.
“I have faith in all of you,” Adam said, matter-of-fact. “You’re all amazing young men and women, and I’m proud to call you my team.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Fletcher agreed.
That night, over dinner, I brought up the nursery. Fletcher and I had primed it, but we’d stopped there because we didn’t know what direction to take the design. Pretty pink and floral? A cute blue sea theme? Jungle animals on a green backdrop?
Now that I knew the gender of our baby, my mind had been running all afternoon, thinking about colors and ideas and decorations and the perfect theme.
“I don’t think I want the nursery to be pink, even though we know the baby’s gonna be a girl,” I said, twirling my fork tines around in my linguine. “What if she doesn’t like pink? Not all girls like pink.”
“True,” Adam agreed. “Some girls like pink and want to be pretty princesses, and some girls like blue and want to grow up to be swashbuckling pirates.”
Fletcher giggled. “That would be cute. What colors are you feeling for her, Sky?”
“Mmm. I was thinking maybe a soft pastel yellow, with like, a sunny border. Or maybe cute cats,” I said. “I think she’ll like cats. I’ve got a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head. Worst-case scenario, we repaint and redecorate when she’s old enough to pick her own colors?”
Fletcher and Adam exchanged a smile. “I think that’s a great idea.”
I beamed.