Chapter Seven
Bre slowly blinked open her eyes, then glanced around without moving her head.
She was wrapped in Jonah’s arms, but this wasn’t their bed.
They weren’t in their room. The smell was off.
Clinical. Like a lab. If she was back there, they wouldn’t have Jonah with her.
She knew that. They didn’t keep mates together.
Ever. Those couples experienced a special brand of torture.
Where were they? She wiggled her fingers then her toes. She wasn’t drugged. She could move. Soft light from a lamp spilled through the dark. It wasn’t the harsh, blinding glare of the overhead lights in the surgical ward where she’d spent too much time.
“Jonah,” she whispered. She wasn’t surprised when her mate came instantly alert.
“You’re awake.” He pulled her even closer, took her mouth in a kiss that bled toward carnal before he broke it with a groan. “You’re finally awake.”
“Where are we?” she asked then caught the note of relief in his voice. “How long have I been out?”
“Four days.” His face carried every fear and worry he must have felt during that time. “Four days since you collapsed in the kitchen at the farmhouse.”
“Murphy,” she whispered as that came back to her.
“He’s been here every day, but I wouldn’t let him in,” Jonah told her.
“I… Everything jumbled in my head. Past overpowering present. There were too many people. Too much stimulation. I couldn’t stay. It kept pulling me back.”
“What did? You said something before you passed out.”
She shared a look with him and knew what he would say.
“Let’s begin,” they said in unison. His voice was questioning while hers was soft, the echo of her past.
“What does that mean?” Jonah asked, sitting up with his back against the headboard. He tugged her onto his lap.
“It’s still fragments,” she began. “I’m on a gurney.
The wheel squeaks as I’m pushed down the hallway.
I’m tied down, but I wouldn’t be able to move anyway.
They’ve drugged me with something that leaves me conscious but unable to move.
My eyes are taped open. I’m left in a sterile room.
Bright lights. Cold. There’s fear. So much fear that it clogs my throat.
” She shivered in his arms. “Then he’s there.
Above me. I can’t see his face. The light’s too bright.
I know his voice, and I know he’s going to hurt me. I’m going to feel everything he does.”
“Fuck!” Jonah snapped, but his touch remained gentle. “I want to find them and rip them apart for you.”
“They’re dead.” She wasn’t sure where that knowledge came from, and she shook her head before Jonah could ask. “I don’t know how I know that. I just do.” She rubbed her arm. “Someone took blood. Tony?”
“No. Professor Mueller took it. You don’t trust Tony, so I brought you to the medical center and let Mueller oversee your care.”
“You trust Tony,” she countered.
“You don’t, and you’ll always be first with me.”
A tear slipped from her eye. When had she been first with anyone?
“Hey. I’m here, love. I’ve got you.”
“I have to get them out,” she whispered then tapped her head. “Everything is so mixed up. I need to find a way to pull all these jumbled memories out.” She took a deep breath. “Maybe, it’s time to see what Tony suggests.”
Jonah tilted her head up and met her gaze. “If that’s what you want. Are you upset that I let Mueller take blood?”
“No. It’s good that he took it while I was out, though. I can’t stand needles. They were always trying different things on me. So many needles. Every day.” She shuddered. “Did Mueller find anything?”
“Your blood shows high levels of drugs we know hunters have a history of using. High levels even after weeks without them being forced into your system. That concerns everyone familiar with them. Plus, there are drugs we haven’t seen before now.
Professor Mueller shared those with his daughter, Jess and one of her mates who’s a doctor, as well as with Tony, Gideon, and the pride’s doctor, Diane.
He has everyone trying to identify anything they can.
They won’t stop until they get you answers. ”
Tears welled in her eyes again. These people didn’t know her. She hadn’t given anyone but Jonah the chance to know her. Why were they working so hard?
“Why?”
“Why what?” Jonah asked.
“Why are they helping me?”
“Why wouldn’t they?” He sounded angry that she’d question what was being done.
“They don’t know me. I’ve kept silent and only interacted with you since I’ve been here. Why would they care?”
“Because that’s who we are. Tony and all of his teams. Tah Pearce and his entire pride.
There are so many here who want to know you, want to help.
Not because you’re Murphy’s little sister or Finn’s twin, though that does make you family to the pride.
Not because you and I are mates, though every member of Tony’s teams and Tony himself would put themselves between you and danger without a thought. ”
“But why?”
“Because you matter. Your life matters. You deserve to exist in a world where you don’t have to fear capture or torture or death simply because you’re different. You deserve to be loved and cherished. You deserve the world.”
She started crying, overwhelmed by his words.
No one had ever said that to her. Maybe, someone had when she’d been little, before her mom died, but she had no memory of that, so she couldn’t be sure.
Jonah held her, the soothing stroke of his palm up and down her spine like a balm to her soul.
He didn’t say another word until her tears finally quieted.
“You said they tried different things on you? Different how?”
“I was at an experimental facility. A lab rat.” She tapped her head again. “I can hear voices. Speaking of me. Never to me. An animal for research. I think… I think the man I thought was my father sold me to them.”
“Bastard,” Jonah snarled.
“He wanted to love me, but I wasn’t good. I wouldn’t stop,” she whispered.
“There’s no wanting to love. You do or you don’t,” Jonah said. “What wouldn’t you stop?”
“Acting like a little animal. So, he took me to them. To fix me. To cut the bad out.”
“Jesus! I hate every one of these fucking people. Torturing a child? A child! For what? Because they’re not the purist expectation? Fuck that! Children are children. I hope all of these purist bastards rot in hell.”
“The ones who did this are dead, so I choose to believe they’re doing just that.
I think the man I called Da is also dead.
But, again, I can’t be sure what’s real in my head.
When I dreamed of my mother being dead and Murphy being beaten, Finn being hurt, both of them sent away from me, I saw my mother open her eyes.
She told me that I needed to remember. That I have to remember to save them. ”
“Who? Who does she want you to save?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Murphy and Finn, maybe. Someone else. I’ve been silent while I tried to work through these dreams, to make sense of what I’m seeing.
Questioning how much of it is real. Tony scares me.
There’s an intensity to him that makes me think he’ll do whatever it takes to get answers, no matter the cost.”
“He will,” Jonah agreed. “I won’t lie to you.
He won’t purposely hurt you, but he’ll do what it takes and still try to protect you as much as he can.
He believes whatever saves lives is worth the cost. He thinks healing truly begins with answers.
He’s not a bad man. I’ve never questioned his tactics until you.
I don’t want you suffering more. I don’t want you hurting.
I would wrap you up and hide you away from the world if I thought I could protect you, but I can’t hide you from what’s inside you.
No one can, and eventually, it will find its way out. ”
“I need one more day. One day to gather my courage to do what needs to be done.”
“One day isn’t too much to request. If it was up to me, I’d give you all the days you need.”
“One more. One night to remind myself I have a mate. That I’m no longer alone. One more day to figure out how to move forward. Will you hold me?”
“Every night for the rest of our lives,” he vowed.
“Will you make love to me?”
“I want nothing more than to show you how much I love you, but you passed out. You’ve been out for days. I’m not sure vigorous activity is best right now.”
“We can take it slow and easy. I need you. I need you more than anything else right now.”
He gazed at her, taking in every inch of her face and body.
“Slow and easy,” he finally agreed. “But if I see anything that makes me think it’s too much, we stop. No arguments.”
“I can handle it. I swear.”
He eased her to her back and leaned over her, his lips trailing kisses over her face. Over her eyelids, nose, cheekbones, jaw line, then finally her lips. Sipping, skimming, tasting. No deepening. He kept it to a soft exploration. A reverent worshipping of her body.
“I’m going to love you so thoroughly you’ll never question how much you mean to me, how much I love you.”
“Jonah,” she begged.
“Relax, Bre. Let me show you.”