Chapter Nine
Bre clenched Jonah’s hand so hard she was surprised he didn’t try to pull away. Saying she was ready to speak to her brothers and actually doing it were two different things.
“Breathe,” Jonah whispered as they stepped onto the porch of the house where they’d all agreed to meet. Finn’s home. The one he shared with his mate, Laura, and their son, Sean Murphy.
“I’m trying,” she whispered back just as the door opened. She’d expected Finn but not for him to be holding his son. The baby already had a head of red curls and his father’s blue eyes.
“Come in,” a feminine voice called from behind Finn as he held open the door. “I’ve got some snacks on the table. There’s wine, water, tea, or coffee. I’m sure I can get something else if you’d prefer.”
Finn reached for his wife and pulled her to him, whispering to her something that sounded exactly like the word Jonah had just whispered to Bre.
“Laura, Finn, good to see you,” Jonah said as they stepped in. Bre stayed glued to her mate’s side and almost purred as he made the soothing motion up and down her spine as he always did. She noted Finn watching them, but there was no hostility on his face.
“Murphy said you’d mated.”
She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to respond or not, so she merely nodded. Jonah dropped a kiss atop her head.
“I’m a lucky man,” her mate said, and there was nothing but honesty in his expression as he looked at her. “Murphy not here yet?”
“He and Oakley are on their way.”
Finn’s tone let Bre know there was something there. It didn’t take much to figure out what.
“She’s angry with me.”
Jonah tugged her closer. “She’ll get over it. Emotions were high.”
“She’ll decide that for herself,” Oakley said as she and Murphy entered behind them. Bre immediately moved to face them all. Her gaze scanned the home, clocking exits in case she needed to make a quick one.
“Oakley.” There was warning in Murphy’s voice, and Bre got the impression it wasn’t the first time. Oakley only growled, baring her teeth at him. Murphy ignored her, his gaze landing on Bre and staying. “Brenna.”
Her mind bounced between past and present.
She could see him as a boy. The man’s face washed in blood and tears as he was beaten.
Not the man. The boy. She shook her head, gaze flicking to Finn.
His scream echoed in her ears as they broke his leg.
She reached for her head, but Jonah caught her fist before she could tap herself.
“No, love. None of that. Talk to me. What’s happening?”
Her gaze was everywhere. “I see them. Murphy is covered in blood. He’s crying and fighting, and they’re hurting him.
They’re going to kill him. Finn’s screaming.
He’s fighting and screaming then…” Her gaze flew toward her brother’s leg as he handed his son off to Laura.
“They’re breaking him. The screams… I can’t get them out of my head.
You’re here, but you’re there, and it’s all overlapping until I can’t think. I can’t breathe.”
Oakley stepped in. “Look at your mate. Focus on Jonah. He’s here. He wasn’t there. He’s here with you. You’re here; not there. Let him ground you.”
Bre stared at Jonah, and just like last time when she’d fallen apart and he’d walked in, she felt safe.
“Breathe,” he whispered, dropping his forehead against hers.
“You promised you’d come back for me,” she finally whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” Muphy said, his voice breaking again.
“They killed her and left her for us to find,” Bre said. “Left her like she was nothing, like she meant nothing. They blamed you. The man who raised us—he and his sons blamed you.”
“You know he wasn’t our father?” Finn asked.
Bre nodded. “He said I was his. That he loved me, but he gave me to the doctors. To cure me, he said. To make me better. He’d show up, and I’d beg him to take me, but he always brought me back. Why? Why would he do that?”
“I had people watching for you. To make sure you were okay. I’m guessing it was to encourage us to stay away,” Murphy shared.
“He’s dead. They killed him a few years ago. I don’t remember exactly when or how. I just know.” She tapped her chest instead of her head. It wasn’t her mind that knew. It was a different part of her. Her instinct. Her animal.
“Good,” Finn snarled. “I hope it was painful.”
“I don’t remember but most likely. Everything they did there was painful,” she admitted.
“Do you know what happened to you?” Murphy asked.
“Experiments. Drugs. The perfect combinations to kill the cat.” The words were another echo in her mind. Not hers. Ones she’d heard at the lab, over and over again.
“I’ve tried to look into what was done in the hunting labs in Ireland.
One of the pride has connections there. Her name’s Darby.
Her father went to Ireland. I think he might have been there right before or maybe even at the same time you were moved to the States.
Do you remember anything from then?” Oakley asked.
“Very little. I see faces but not faces. More like expressions on faces. I feel the malevolence. I have images, but it’s as if there’s a blanket over it, blocking me from getting to them,” Bre shared.
“Maybe, that’s not a bad thing,” Oakley said softly, and Murphy moved into her. “Does the name Dr. Victor Talbot mean anything to you?”
Bre shook her head.
“What about Marcus Blane?” Finn asked.
“No. I don’t know them. Who are they?” Bre asked.
“Marcus Blane led the largest purist group in the United States. Their goal was to exterminate every shifter in the world, starting here. Dr. Talbot was the head of the medical research department they created. His job was to torture, maim, and experiment on captured shifters until they died. He created drugs as torture devices to gauge what the animals could handle,” Oakley told her. “Talbot was also my father.”
“Oakley,” Murphy growled. He wasn’t happy she was linking herself with the monster she’d described, but Bre understood.
“He hurt you.”
“He did,” Oakley agreed. “He hurt and killed a lot of people.”
“Was,” Bre repeated. “You said Blane was. Talbot was.”
“We killed them,” Finn stated with satisfaction in his voice.
“The ones who held me. They’re dead.” Bre tapped her chest again. “Another thing I know but don’t know how I know. Sometimes, I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“Don’t we all,” Laura agreed. She had her son cradled against her shoulder, one hand patting his back over the blanket she had over him.
“He’s beautiful,” Bre said. “He reminds me of…” She paused, shaking her head. “He reminds me of… I don’t know. It’s there but not. As if it’s dangling on the very edge of my memory but won’t fall.”
“He looks like Finn when he was a baby,” Murphy said. “Only Sean’s a sweet boy, and Finn was a little hellion from the start.” He smiled when Finn snorted. “Brenna was the sweet one. Always cooing and smiling.”
“We were close. The three of us. We were close until he broke us.”
“He didn’t break us,” Murphy argued quietly. “We’re here now. Together. Unbroken. Survivors, all three of us.”
“Can you forgive us?” Finn asked.
“You didn’t come for me because you couldn’t.
You thought you were saving me. I felt lost. Abandoned.
It’s here.” She tapped her chest. “And here.” Against her forehead.
“I don’t know how to release it.” She saw the devastation on their faces and heard her mother’s voice in her head.
“I want to. I want to move forward, but I don’t know if I can ever be who you want me to be.
I think that person died a long time ago. ”
“There’s no expectation here,” Murphy told her. “We’re your brothers. We love you no matter what, and we support whatever you need.”
“May I hug you?” Finn asked, and she hated the shake of her head but still couldn’t stop it.
“I can’t. I don’t like to be touched. I…”
Jonah cuddled her close.
“My mate. Just my mate.”
“I’m glad you have him,” Finn said. “I wasn’t always.
I worried he’d take advantage of you, but I can see how much he cares for you.
I want you to know I’m here for you, too.
I… You’re the other half of me and have been since we were in the womb.
I love you. I’ll always love you. Nothing will ever change that.
I want you to know that no matter where I was, you were always with me.
Here.” He pressed his palm over his heart. “You always will be.”
Bre pressed her fist against her heart before sharing with them. “I’m going to have Tony try to help me with my memories. I want to know. Some part of me wants me to remember.”
“Have you shifted since you’ve been here?” Oakley asked.
“No. I can’t. We’re together but separate.”
“Like Kenzie,” Oakley said. “She’s my sister and a member of the pride. Talbot experimented on her. He was able to lock away her lion, so she couldn’t access that part of herself.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“What do you mean?” Jonah asked.
“I feel my animal side. I have attributes from them. Heightened instincts and senses. My canines. But I can’t embrace them. I can’t shift. I never have.”