Chapter 8
Reflection
It’s eye-opening
The moment I walk outside the hotel to wait for my car, Michelle and Amethyst start grilling me about my scene with Headmaster Wallace. But before I can answer them, I’m distracted by Nash in my peripheral vision. I notice him pacing back and forth while checking his phone obsessively.
Although the guy is a dick, I feel as if something is off.
“Why did Headmaster Wallace tell you to call him ‘Faelan?’” Michelle asks me. “The rest of us who’ve scened with him were commanded to address him as Headmaster.”
I shrug. “You got me.”
Amethyst raises her eyebrow. “And what was all the whispering between you two?’
I roll my eyes, unwilling to share with them about the insecurity I have about my weight. Instead, I deflect by answering, “You all witnessed my meltdown on stage last week. Just like Dono Marcelo, the Headmaster was simply checking to make sure I wanted to move forward with the suspension scene.”
Michelle smirks. “Well, it sure looked like you enjoyed your suck-off.”
I burst out laughing. “That’s what you’re calling it?”
Looking past Michelle, I notice a car pulling up next to Nash.
An attractive woman with jet black hair gets out of the driver’s side, and he immediately bows to her.
But in seconds, I hear her yelling at him above the din of the other passing cars.
And the moment she raises her hand, he instinctively flinches.
That reaction seems to irritate her even more, and she shakes her finger at him before pointing to the backseat of the vehicle.
Nash bows even lower before hurrying to the back of the car and disappearing inside. His mistress straightens her high-waisted pencil skirt before walking back to the driver’s side and getting into the vehicle to speed off.
I frown in concern.
“Are you even listening to me?” Michelle complains.
“Do you know anything about Beefcake’s mistress?” I ask her.
Michelle looks at me strangely and shakes her head.
“She’s very popular and holds a lot of weight in the community,” Amethyst tells me. “To be honest, I’m surprised she took any interest in Nash because he’s such a newbie…and a dick. Why do you want to know?”
I sigh, debating whether I should mention what I just witnessed. It concerns me, but I know nothing about their dynamic. Even though I have no interest in getting involved in Beefcake’s personal life, I decide to share what I just saw.
“That just proves he still has a hell of a lot of growing up to do,” Michelle huffs.
“Talk about a man-child,” Amethyst agrees. “I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the dickhead. It must be exhausting.”
“It sure would be,” I laugh. Putting the incident out of my mind, I turn to Michelle. “If you ever have a chance to be suspended while doing sixty-nine, I highly recommend it.”
“I’m so jealous of you!” she exclaims. “First the demonstration in class tonight, and then having a suck-off with the Headmaster…”
Amethyst growls, “You really need to stop calling it that.”
I tease Michelle. “Well, I didn’t see you raising your hand in class.”
She rolls her eyes. “I know, I know….but damn, I wish I had!”
When the valet pulls up with my car, I say my goodbyes. But before I leave Amethyst put her hand on my arm and says, “You were impressive tonight, Sophie.”
That simple compliment from someone I admire has me grinning all the way home.
The next night, Mr. Onassis informs us that we won’t be writing in our journals this week.
I can’t hide my disappointment. Writing in my fantasy journal has become one of my favorite things at the Training Center. It’s been exciting to know that my innermost fantasies will be played out in real life each week.
“For the auction this week, you will be fulfilling the fantasy of your Dominant,” he informs us.
Several of the students start whispering to each other, as surprised as I am by his announcement.
“Quiet,” Mr. Onassis admonishes before continuing, “As a submissive, your Dominant’s pleasure is your pleasure. And, this weekend, you will get to experience how to go about fulfilling their fantasy.”
Instead of feeling excited about such an opportunity, I find the idea of playing out someone else’s fantasy incredibly intimidating.
Tamara pops up her hand and asks the question that I’m thinking. “What if my winning Dom wants to do something I don’t care for?”
“A fair question, Miss Robinson,” he states.
“This week, instead of writing out a fantasy, you will be completing the questionnaire you filled out when you first applied for this course. Whether you realize it yet or not, you have grown significantly since the first day of class. You will see that reflected in your answers as you fill out the list of preferences and dislikes now. Naturally, the Dominants bidding for you will have a copy of your updated answers so that they can plan a scene with your limits in mind.”
I experience a flood of relief when I hear that.
I should have known the Training Center would ensure our limits are respected, especially when we are going to be scening with a stranger.
When Mr. Onassis sets the thick checklist of BDSM tools and practices on my desk, I actually smile to myself.
I’m curious to see how many of my answers have now changed.
“You are to rate each item with one of five options: ‘Like,’ ‘Interested,’ ‘Neutral,’ ‘Don’t Like,’ and ‘Don’t Know,’” Mr. Onassis reminds us.
Beefcake snorts. “This assignment is pointless for me. I’m open to anything.”
Mr. Onassis looks at him and narrows his eyes.
“Only an untrained submissive would say such a thing, Mr. Nash. No Dominant in our program would take on a submissive without boundaries. It shows a total lack of insight on the part of the submissive. It is also a recipe for disaster during a scene. Especially in the unique environment of an auction.”
Nash looks properly chastised and lowers his head as he starts going through the long list.
I eagerly start checking boxes as I go down the list. There are still a number of things I have yet to experience—and would like to! So I mark them as “Interested”, including medical scenes. Now that I know I have a high pain threshold, that might actually be a turn-on for me.
I giggle to myself as I check “Like” to things that I previously was unsure of, such as electricity. I’ll never forget when Lord Murray introduced me to the pleasures of the Violet Wand…
This time, when I come across various whips on the list, I check “Like” on every single one. Talk about a change!
I stop for a moment before checking the box for rope bondage.
Until now, that was one of my biggest triggers.
But since experiencing that long session with Tono Nosaka, my perspective has changed.
I close my eyes, remembering what it felt like when I matched his breath while bound in his jute.
Even now, I can feel a sense of peace wash over me.
Although I wouldn’t hesitate to do another bondage scene with him, I can’t say that it’s become an interest of mine. So, I check “Neutral.” While that might seem like a small change to others, for me it’s an encouraging sign of growth.
Still, despite how much I’ve grown, there are still things that send shivers down my spine.
So, I mark each one as “Don’t Like,” starting with scarification.
Included in that list is double penetration, fire play, and I make sure to add cages as one of my hard limits.
I can’t explain why, but I feel physically sick whenever I think about being locked in a cage—and I have zero interest in pushing that boundary.
Looking back over the extensive list, I grin when I see the number of things I’ve gotten to experience since starting this course.
Not only have I been exposed to new things I like, but I have grown as a person.
I feel more confident and empowered. The Sophie I am today would never have given someone like Noah another chance after ditching our plans for New Year’s Eve.
That singular decision was the biggest mistake of his life, but it was the best thing that has ever happened to me.