20. Elena
20
ELENA
W hat the hell happened last night with Nash? That wasn’t in my plan. Believe me, yes Nash is hot, and I was curious about what he was packing underneath those board shorts, and I wasn’t disappointed. Even from that far away, I could see how big and thick he was. What surprised me was the fact that he pulled himself out and started touching it while I fucked Manuel. That was … unexpected. Hot. But also, not what I thought he would do. I also thought he hated me. Yes, I did think he thought I was hot, but not enough to do that. Now I’m intrigued. Nash has a kinky side. Maybe we could explore it, seeing as when I’m working it never gets me off. I wasn’t lying when I said I would go back to my room and finish myself off. Because I did, thinking about him. But he doesn’t need to know that. I need to keep him on his toes. Last night I should have looked at Manuel’s phone, but I ended up passing out.
Grabbing the phone, I sit up in bed and start to scroll through. Ew. He likes to send a lot of dick pics to women. I’m offended I never got one. I continue to search and look through his phone, scouring every inch, but there doesn’t seem to be anything incriminating on it. Fuck. He had his personal phone on him, not his work phone, which must have been left with his bodyguard when he came home with me. Fuck. I throw my phone down, get up, and walk out of my room. What I wasn’t expecting when I walked out of the room was the strip show. Nash has come back from a run, and he is pulling off his sweat-soaked tee. I watch as the corded muscles bend and move with each movement against his golden-tanned skin. A flutter between my legs starts to turn into a needy throb. No. You can’t fuck him. You have a job to do, and Nash Madden is a delicious distraction that I don’t need. Except I continue to watch as he launches himself into his pool to cool off. I bite my bottom lip as I watch him emerge from the water, the droplets cascading over his broad shoulders, rivulets running down his back. Is it getting hot in here? I shake my head. This isn’t me. I don’t act like a schoolgirl with a crush. Turning around, I head back into my room and call the one person I can talk to about this.
“Hey, how is it going?” Mackenzie answers the phone.
“If I tell you something you won’t judge me, will you?” I ask her.
“No. Of course not. Is everything okay?” she asks, and I can hear the concern in her voice.
“This is kind of embarrassing. I’m a confident woman. My job is to be able to read men but …”
Mackenzie bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, is this my chance to give sisterly advice to you? This is huge. Okay, tell me everything,” she says excitedly. I let out a sigh at her enthusiasm, but it makes me smile as I’ve never had anyone I could trust with my inner thoughts, not since Anna, but I know I can trust Mackenzie. “Something happened between you and Nash?”
“Kind of,” I answer, which makes her squeal.
“Tell me everything.”
So, I do. I explain to her how he annoys the hell out of me, how he doesn’t trust me and has second-guessed me the entire time I’ve been here. That he doesn’t think I am strong enough to take on the cartel no matter what Brooks tells him. I also tell her that I hate that he’s hot, too, which makes her giggle. “What does it mean when you are fucking someone else, and he stands there jerking off to it.”
“I’m sorry, what the hell did you say?” Mackenzie squeals.
“I had a job last night, I had to seduce this cartel guy. I brought him home, and well, you know what my job is. Nash came home, caught me naked, and putting a tracker on the guy’s phone while he was passed out by the pool. We kind of had a flirty moment, and then I kind of told him to watch me blow this guy’s mind. Not sure why, but he irritates me. Plus, I saw him screw some woman the other night and I guess I wanted to show him. I woke the cartel guy up from his slumber with a blow job, and then I jumped into his lap but couldn’t keep my eyes off Nash. I silently sent him a dare, and the next thing I knew, he pulled his cock out and started stroking himself while I fucked the other guy.”
“Um …” Mackenzie says.
“What do you think that means?” I ask her.
“I don’t know. Maybe Nash has a voyeur kink?”
“You think?”
“I don’t know. That is not a problem I’ve ever encountered before and seems out of my wheelhouse when I can’t even get laid.” She sighs.
“I thought you and the IT guy were, you know …” I say.
“No. He won’t go any further, he’s scared of Sophie and Brooks.”
“Well, they aren’t home and won’t know.”
“He won’t.” She sighs sadly again. “I’m stuck on this island while everyone is blissfully happy, and of course, I want to help, and maybe that makes me a selfish bitch but … I’m lonely,” she confesses.
“Aw, Kenzie, I’m sorry,” I tell her, feeling for her. “Did you go to Barcelona?” Mackenzie deserves the world, she is stunning, kind, caring, funny, and intelligent.
“No. Everyone was busy, and I chickened out. Please, don’t worry about me. You have more important things on your mind than me getting laid.”
“I do, and yet here I am thinking about someone I shouldn’t. I feel like I can’t read men anymore.”
“No, you can’t read one specific man,” Mackenzie teases.
“So true.”
“You have a crush, Ellie.”
“A crush? I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those before.”
“Really?” she asks, sounding surprised.
“I think they deprogrammed me for that.”
“Oh,” she says sadly. “Well, welcome to womanhood, you’ve got a crush on a guy. They say there is a thin line between hate and love.”
“I’m not in love with him. Ew. He just has a nice dick.”
Mackenzie bursts out laughing. “And you want to ride it?”
“Maybe,” I confess.
“Yeah, you have a crush. Look, I don’t blame you, Nash is hot. And he might have a crush on you, too, if he, um, you know, while you were with another man.”
“You think?” I hate that I sound so weak asking that question.
“Babe, you are stunning. Any man with a heartbeat would be crushing on you.”
“What do I do? I’m in unchartered territory,” I ask.
“Honestly, I don’t know. My crush won’t screw me so I’m probably not the best person to ask for advice.”
“I’m not calling Sophie. We’ve come a long way but not that far.”
Mackenzie giggles. “I would love to see you ask Sophie for advice. Look, just keep doing what you’re doing, it seems to be working. Maybe don’t try to kill him anymore, that might help. Also sleeping with other people might not help.”
“That’s my job. And this man is a distraction I don’t need.”
“Most crushes you need to get out of your system to be able to move on,” she tells me.
“You think? He’s in the pool now.”
“What are you doing talking to me? Go seduce that man and get him out of your system. Put on your tiniest bikini and strut your stuff.”
“And you think that would work?”
“You in a bikini, yeah that will work.”
“No, I mean getting him out of my system?”
“Yeah, I think so,” she says not sounding confident. “You’ve got this,” she adds.
Yeah. I’ve got this. Nash is just a man. He’s no one special. I just need someone to give me a good fuck and then I can continue my work and not have that man distract me from it. Excitement bubbles beneath my skin. “Okay, I’m going to try that. Thanks for listening to me.”
“Anytime, keep me posted,” she says as we hang up.
I grab my sexiest bikini, put it on, and head out to the pool. You’ve got this. You have seduced hundreds of men, he is no different to any of them. Nash is doing laps and stops when he sees me.
“Oh, hi, didn’t realize you were here,” I say, playing nonchalant.
“I’m just leaving,” he says gruffly. He didn’t look like he was about to leave as he was in the middle of a laps.
“Don’t,” I say, and that stuns us both. I take a seat on the edge of the pool. His green eyes track my movements, his lips are pursed together, and he doesn’t look happy about me being here. “Are we okay?” I ask him.
“We’re fine,” he answers gruffly.
I raise my brows, that answer did not convince me he is fine. “Are you embarrassed about what happened last night?” Those eyes narrow on me and he doesn’t answer. “It was hot,” I confess. He swallows. Tension swirls between us. “I thought about it as I finished myself off last night.”
“Jesus Christ, Ellie,” he curses, and gets out of the pool, grabs a towel from the railing, and walks away.
“Nash,” I call out to him, but he ignores me. My face flames with embarrassment. Did I read it all wrong? Is he embarrassed? He shouldn’t be. Is he not interested? I’ve never had a ball of anxiety appear in my stomach before. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s obvious that he wants to forget about what happened. That he’s ashamed of it. I’m such an idiot. Who would want a woman like me? Of course, he’s not interested, I was fucking someone else. My job is to be the government’s whore.
What man in their right mind would want a woman like that?