11. Chapter 11 Cara
Chapter 11: Cara
I woke up the next morning with a sense that something very bad was going to happen. I lay in bed for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling and trying to ignore the churning in my gut. I knew I couldn't hide in my room forever, much as I might want to. My father would be expecting me, demanding answers and explanations and God knows what else.
And I'd have to face him. Have to look him in the eye and lie through my teeth, all while praying he couldn't see the truth written all over my face. I had to do this if I wanted to buy myself any chance at a future that didn't involve being passed around like a party favor by the Sokolov brothers.
With a groan, I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, letting the hot water pound some of the tension from my shoulders. I didn't bother with makeup or styling my hair, just threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and called it good enough.
Let my father see me like this, all pale and tired and undone. Let him think it was a result of my supposed condition, rather than the bone-deep terror and desperation clawing at my insides.
I made my way downstairs, my heart climbing into my throat with every step. I could hear voices coming from my father's study, raised and angry. One of them was definitely Declan's, the low, threatening rumble of his anger unmistakable. My stomach clenched as I recognized Finn's voice, tight and controlled but with an undercurrent of barely-leashed rage. What was he doing here? And why did he sound like he was about two seconds away from putting his fist through a wall?
I didn't have time to wonder. The door to the study flew open and my father stepped out. He spotted me hovering in the hallway and his eyes narrowed, his lips thinning into a hard, unforgiving line.
"There you are," he bit out, jerking his head towards the study. "Get in here. Now."
I swallowed hard and obeyed, slipping past him into the room. Finn was there, standing ramrod straight with his hands clasped behind his back, his jaw clenched and his eyes fixed straight ahead. As I drew closer, I could see the tension thrumming through his body, the white-knuckled grip of his hands where they were hidden from view. He was barely holding it together, his control fraying at the edges. My father slammed the door behind us, making me jump. He stalked over to his desk and leaned against it, his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at me.
"You've really done it this time, haven't you?" he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Not only have you shamed our family, ruined the alliance I've worked so hard to build, but you've done it by whoring yourself out like a common slut."
I flinched at the venom in his tone, my cheeks heating with a mixture of anger and humiliation. "I'm not a whore," I said, my voice trembling slightly. "And I didn't... I didn't do it on purpose."
"Oh, so you just accidentally fell on some bastard's cock, is that it?" Declan sneered, his lip curling in disgust. "Accidentally let him pump you full of his seed, ruin you for any decent man who might have had you?"
Beside me, Finn made a low, choked noise, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. I darted a glance at him, my heart twisting at the pain and anger and guilt warring on his face.
He blamed himself for this, I realized with a sinking sensation. If only he knew the truth. If only I could tell him that it wasn't a mistake at all, that the only thing I regretted was not being able to do it again, to feel his body moving inside mine and pretend, just for a little while, that we had a future together.
I turned back to my father, lifting my chin and forcing myself to meet his furious gaze head-on. "I'm not ruined," I said, proud of the way my voice didn't waver. "And I'm not a whore. I made a choice, and I'll deal with the consequences. But I won't let you or anyone else shame me for it."
Declan barked out a harsh, humorless laugh. "Oh, you'll deal with the consequences, all right. Starting with a visit to our family doctor. I want proof of this supposed pregnancy, and I want it now."
My heart stuttered in my chest, a cold sweat breaking out on my palms. The doctor. Of course. I should have known my father would demand proof, would want to see the evidence of my shame with his own eyes. I couldn't produce a positive pregnancy test or a sonogram image, because there was no baby. It was all a lie. A desperate, foolish lie, told in a moment of panic and desperation. And now it was about to come crashing down.
I couldn't let my father see my fear. I forced a nod, my spine straight and my head held high. "Fine," I said. "I'll go to the doctor. But Finn comes with me."
Declan's eyes flashed, his jaw clenching. "Absolutely not. Finn is the reason we're in this mess in the first place. If he'd been doing his job, keeping a proper eye on you like he was supposed to, you never would have had the opportunity to spread your legs for whatever piece of gutter trash knocked you up."
Beside me, Finn flinched like he'd been slapped. I saw his throat work as he swallowed, his eyes shuttering closed for a brief moment before he forced them open again.
"I'll take her," he said, his voice rough and strained. "It's my responsibility, my failure. I'll make sure she gets to the doctor and back safely."
Declan glared at him for a long moment, his lips pressed into a thin, hard line. I could practically see the gears turning in his head, weighing the pros and cons of letting Finn escort me versus keeping him close at hand, where he could keep an eye on him and make sure he didn't fuck up again.
Finally, he gave a sharp, jerky nod. "Fine. But do not let her out of your sight, otherwise it'll be your head. Understood?"
Finn nodded, his jaw tight. "Understood, sir."
With that, my father dismissed us with a wave of his hand, his eyes already distant and calculating as he no doubt started plotting his next move in this fucked-up game of chess we were all trapped in.
I followed Finn out of the study as he made arrangements for a car to be bought around. He didn't speak as we made our way out of the house and to the car, his shoulders tense. I could feel the anger and guilt and fear rolling off him in waves, and it made my stomach clench with dread.
I stayed silent as we slid into the car, my hands twisting in my lap as Finn put the vehicle in gear and pulled out of the driveway. I wanted to reach for him. Wanted to take his hand in mine and tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't have stopped me from lying to my father, even if he'd tried. I had to buy some time for myself. And then, just as I was about to say something, anything to shatter the awful, loaded quiet, it happened.
The car lurched sideways, tires squealing as Finn swore and wrenched the wheel hard to the right. I shrieked, my hands flying up to brace myself against the dashboard as we skidded off the road and into the ditch, gravel spraying up to ping against the undercarriage. For a moment, everything was chaos and noise and the sickening crunch of metal on metal. And then, silence. Awful, ringing silence, broken only by the hiss of steam from the crumpled hood and the ragged sound of our breathing.
"Finn?" I said, my voice shaking. "What... what happened?"
"Ambush," he bit out, already reaching for his gun with one hand while the other scrabbled at his seatbelt. "Fucking Russians, must have been tailing us."
My heart seized in my chest, fear clawing its way up my throat. The Russians. Mikhail and his brothers. Come to make good on their promise to punish me.
Finn finally freed himself from his seatbelt and shoved his door open, his gun at the ready. "Stay here," he ordered, his voice brooking no argument. "Lock the doors and keep your head down. I'll handle this."
"Finn, no—"
But he was already gone, disappearing into the cloud of dust and debris surrounding the car. I heard shouting, the harsh bark of Russian voices, and then the unmistakable sound of gunfire, sharp in the still air.
I huddled in my seat, my heart pounding and my breath coming in shallow gasps. I wanted to help Finn, wanted to do something, anything other than sit here like a useless lump while he risked his life for me. I'd only be a liability, a distraction he couldn't afford. I stayed put. Stayed in the car like a good little girl, my fingers white-knuckled on the door handle as I listened to the sounds of violence and chaos outside.
And then, abruptly, it was over. The gunfire ceased, the shouting died away. For a moment, everything was silent.
And then the passenger door was wrenched open, and I screamed as rough hands reached in and dragged me out, kicking and clawing and fighting with everything I had. But it was no use. There were too many of them, too strong and too determined. I caught a glimpse of Finn on the ground, blood streaming from a gash on his head as he struggled weakly against the two men holding him down.
Our eyes met for one brief, terror-filled moment. And then something hard cracked against the back of my skull, and everything went black.