Chapter 11 #2
I slid into the driver's seat and ran my hands over the steering wheel, inhaling the new leather and whatever cologne Christian wore made me smile.
This was a beautiful car and I would be doing a search to see if I could locate and purchase one in a wine or deep burgundy color, but with only twelve in the world I might be shit out of luck.
In the middle of my pouting, Giselle called and I cringed, already knowing what this was about…
The damn contract.
"Hello?"
"Scotlyn, I've been trying to reach you."
"Sorry about that. It's been a busy day."
"I’m sure. Christian called about amendments to your contract."
I adjusted the seat and leaned back. "Yes, he showed me a few minutes ago."
"And you're comfortable with the changes? Having sessions at his house?"
"I am."
"You're staying there, aren't you?" Her tone was neutral but I still cringed. She knew I was visiting and staying at The Metropolitan so…
I hesitated. "How did you know?"
"Just an assumption. Making a change like this is out of character for Christian. He typically… Structure is important for him."
"What does that mean?"
"It means you're different and that concerns me."
"Because?"
"Because when things get personal, boundaries can blur. Your contract was meant to help you regain control and not potentially lose more of it."
I tensed and remembered our initial conversation when I did my intake interview for membership. I told her more than I planned but Giselle had a way of making you feel comfortable.
"I know what I'm doing.”
"Do you? When we discussed your plans for Erogenous, you told me about your marriage. What your husband and father did. The betrayal and lies were hard on you, Scotlyn. Even if you weren’t the one who initially pursued the membership, you agreed to follow through, but only to reclaim something you lost."
Control over my life…
"That’s still the case."
"Then I hope you also remember you said you needed a safe place to surrender control because you felt you needed to control everything else in your life after what happened with your marriage."
I stared out the windshield but remained quiet.
"Scotlyn, mixing business with pleasure is complicated enough. This is all new to you. Living with your Dom, especially when there are other power dynamics involved, makes things very messy. You two are essentially business partners, correct?”
"Christian has been clear about keeping things separate."
"Has he?" She sighed. "The amendment request came from him, not you. He's already changing the terms."
"With my consent."
"Good. That's what I needed to hear. I just don't want to see you hurt again. Not after everything you expressed experiencing with your husband."
The memory crept in even though I was determined to forget the betrayal.
“I've fulfilled my part of the bargain, Gerald. Ten years with your daughter and the Whitney name attached to everything I've done. I want out."
My father’s reply shattered me. “I got what I needed and so do you. I’ll make sure the divorce is handled properly. You’ll have everything in hand by close of business.”
My entire marriage had been a business arrangement. To this day, I hadn’t told either of them I knew. When the divorce papers were submitted. I signed them. I was too embarrassed not to because arguing the point meant publicly admitting they’d both played in my damn face.
"This is different. How I’m dealing with Christian is all my decision. I know what I’m doing."
"Do you? Or are you still reacting to what happened with your ex-husband?"
“I know what I’m doing,” I stated again.
"Christian can be intense and he's dealing with his own past. Just be careful. Make sure this arrangement is actually giving you what you need."
"I will."
"Call me anytime. Not as the club owner, but as a friend."
"Thank you."
After we hung up, my mind was racing again. What was I doing? Making deals with a man I barely knew. I moved into his house and agreed to submit to him sexually while trying to maintain a business relationship…
I should have been panicking but something about this felt right. I was making choices solely for myself. This didn’t have a damn thing to do with my father or the Whitney name. I didn’t need anyone else's approval.
Whatever happened in the next thirty days would be on my terms but that didn’t stop my mind from racing after the conversation with Giselle as I left the garage, heading back to the study. I needed to talk to someone who knew me, really knew me. I grabbed my phone and called Tezni.
"I was starting to think the dick erased your memory of the most important person in your life."
I rolled my eyes.
"Nope, but I'm not sure you deserve my attention after this shit you got me into."
"What the hell did I do?” She was already laughing, which had me rolling my eyes.
"You know exactly what you did, hoe."
"Ohhhh, this is about Sexy Enemy?"
"Christian Devereaux."
"So you were right then? It was him."
"Definitely him."
"Well damn." She laughed. "The universe has a twisted sense of humor."
"It gets better. I'm living in his house."
"What?" Her high pitched squeal made me pull the phone away from my ear. "Scotlyn Whitney, your ass better explain yourself immediately."
I told her everything, and by the time I finished, Tezni was damn near hyperventilating through her laughs
"So you’re living with a sexy-as-hell millionaire who wants to dominate you in his personal playroom while also helping you get that property you want and you're calling me to complain?"
"First of all, I’m a millionaire too, hoe. Which you know and I'm calling to ask if I've completely lost my mind."
"Oh, absolutely you have and I couldn't be more proud."
I groaned. "Tez, be serious."
"I am being serious. Look, you spent most of your marriage following rules and being the perfect Whitney. Then you found out it was all bullshit. Why not do something wild and completely for yourself?"
"Because it's reckless?"
"So what? Life is short, girl. You deserve some recklessness."
I glanced around the study then thought about Christian's playroom just down the hall. "It feels like I'm jumping off a cliff without a safety net."
"Sometimes that's exactly what you need. Besides, you said there's a contract. Everything's consensual. You can walk away."
"It's not that simple."
"Yeah, it really is, friend." Her voice softened. "What are you really worried about?"
I hesitated. "That I'll like it too much and get attached."
"To the sex or to him?"
"Both," I admitted. "The way he looks at me..."
"Like he wants to devour you?"
"Like he sees me. Not Scotlyn Whitney of Whitney Developments. Just me."
Every other man in my life saw access and benefits. Even the man I’d thought married me because he loved me, so this was hard to accept.
"And that scares you."
"Terrifies me."
"Good."
"How is that good?"
"Because you've been detached since the divorce. Scared means you're open to feeling something and that’s exactly what you need."
I sighed and leaned back in the chair. "I don’t trust myself and I damn sure don’t trust you."
"Listening to me means happy Scotty and happy kitty."
I laughed then sank into the leather chair. "I'm listening now. Tell me what to do."
"Hell no. This is all you. But if you're asking if I think you should stay, then yes. A thousand times yes. Live a little, Scot."
"While letting him control me?"
"While exploring what you want. Wasn't that the whole point of going to Erogenous?"
She was right.
"Fine, but when this blows up in my face?—"
"I'll be there with wine and a shoulder to cry on, but it might not blow up. This might be exactly what you need."
"So now you’re an optimist?"
"My best friend is living out my fantasy. I'm experiencing this vicariously, so yes, I’m an optimist. Make it good."
"I'll try."
"Good. Now, let’s talk about this playroom. Are we talking kinky, freaky, nasty, or?—"
"Freaky yes, but classy too, if that even makes sense. Like modern freak meets contemporary home makeover, with restraints and butt plugs."
She laughed, hard.
"Of course it is. The man has taste but has he shown you what he can do with all those toys yet?"
"Tez!"
"Valid question."
"No, not yet." I lowered my voice even though I was alone. "But after what happened at Erogenous..."
"Girl, you are going to be turned the fuck out."
Already am…
"And he's lending me a car worth over a million dollars to drive while I’m here."
"Well shit, now I'm jealous. What kind of car?"
"Aston Martin. Custom. Limited edition."
"Damn, girl. You sure you only agreed to thirty days? Maybe he secretly negotiated sixty. Nah, never mind. He knows that pussy is all that.”
"Oh my God, please stop."
"I'm just saying, if the benefits package is this good..."
“Power of the pussy, friend,” I joked and we both fell out laughing. It felt good, and more importantly, normal, and right now I needed normal.
"Seriously though," Tezni said after we calmed down. "Are you okay?"
"I think so. Just processing."
"That's fair. It's a lot but don’t overthink this. Let yourself enjoy it because when was the last time you did something just because it felt good?"
Probably never…
But I didn’t say that. I just kept quiet but she knew me.
"Exactly," she said, translating my silence. "Live a little. Worst case scenario, you have mind-blowing sex with a gorgeous man for a month, drive his fancy car, and get help with your project."
"When you put it that way..."
"I'm a genius, I know. Call me anytime. Day or night. If it gets weird or you need an exit strategy, I'm here."
"I know. Thanks, Tez."
"Now go forth and get your back blown out by Sexy Enemy.”
"Goodbye, hoe."
I could hear her laughing as I ended the call.
I hung up. Even with all her insanity, she had a point.
I spent too much of my life following other people's expectations.
Maybe thirty days of breaking the rules was exactly what I needed.
And if those thirty days happened to include Christian and his playroom, then I was going to enjoy every minute of the time… and him.