15AshGen X is Mean
Ash
Gen X is Mean
The bell rang for the end of the match, and Shihan took his mouthguard out and tucked it into one of the holes on his headgear. Tonight had been about group sparring—how to handle attacks from more than one person simultaneously. Ash had failed miserably.
“Ash, you are all over the place tonight and not in a good way. It’s like your brain keeps tuning out.”
Ash felt his shoulders slump. He spit out his own mouthguard.
“I forgot to refill my medication, and I’m finally back on it today, but it takes a bit to kick in.”
“Oh, bummer,” said Carlo. “Yeah, I tried to refill mine for a ninety-day supply, but it turns out you can only get it thirty days at a time.”
“Yeah, I had a whole thing with the pharmacy,” said Ash. Getting his medication was a constant battle in his life.
Shihan turned off the round clock, and the class began to strip out of their gear.
“OK, but I’ve seen both of you without your meds, and yeah, forget teaching you a new skill, but usually, you’re OK once we start sparring. But, Ash, you seem really distracted. What’s going on?”
“He checked his phone like eighty-two times before class,” said Bonnie, spitting out her mouthguard. She pulled off her headgear, and her ponytail stuck up like a rooster comb, stiff from sweat and hair product. “I think he’s hoping someone calls.”
There was a chorus of mocking oooohs from his friends.
“I thought you were dating that girl,” said Brad. “I mean, I don’t pay attention, but you said Harper and I so often it stuck in my brain.”
“Harper canceled all my date invites and didn’t text to say why!”
“Oh,” groaned Carlos.
“Sucks, bruh. Sorry,” said Bonnie.
Shihan Brad stared at him with an open mouth for a long second. “This some millennial, Gen Z, generation whatever bullshit, isn’t it? How do you cancel invites without talking to someone?”
“On the calendar!”
“Oh! You sent a girl calendar invites? That seems really impersonal.”
“I’m ADHD, and I think she’s on the spectrum, so we need calendar invites. I don’t know how the fuck you normies live your lives without a calendar, but some of us need digital assistance.”
“I’m a normie, and I still can’t exist without a calendar invite,” said Bonnie.
“I write things on the calendar that hangs on the wall,” said Shihan.
It was Ash’s turn to stare. “I don’t even know what that means.”
“It’s got baby animals on it. One for each month.”
“I know what a calendar is! I don’t know how you keep track of anything that doesn’t live on your phone.”
“Because I don’t live on my phone.”
“This is some Zen karate master bullshit, isn’t it?”
The rest of the class laughed, and so did Brad.
“No, it’s just because I’m old. So what happened? She canceled all your dates?” Brad still looked puzzled.
Ash looked around. Bonnie was struggling with her shin pads.
She liked the Tae Kwon Do style that went on like soccer shin guards.
They stayed in place great while sparring but could stick like sweaty glue when taking them off.
Carlo was still removing his hand gear and moving as tiredly as Ash felt.
The three other students had gone for water.
“So?” asked Carlo, looking up. “Spill it.”
Ash felt silly unloading his problems, but they all seemed sympathetic.
“I went to pick her up at work, and they said she’d already left with Josh. Who the hell is Josh? And then I checked the calendar to make sure I hadn’t screwed the pooch somewhere, and she’s not on any of the invites. She went in and declined all of them!”
“And she didn’t call you? Did you do something?” asked Brad, sounding skeptical.
“Well, she asked about my brother, and that’s the last time I heard from her. And between Rowan getting shot and Halloween, and me getting that first batch of research from your brother’s firm, I haven’t had a chance to follow up with her.”
“And the medication issue,” said Carlo drily.
“Yeah,” admitted Ash.
“The files on Danny’s stuff look OK, though, right?” asked Shihan nervously. Ash understood. It was hard to watch brothers go through something when there was nothing to do but cheer from the sidelines.
“Everything is fine. I’ve barely cracked the files, but everything is fine,” Ash said reassuringly.
“Blah, blah, blah, big money deal, don’t care,” said Bonnie. “Talk to us about the girl.”
“I can’t believe she just canceled and ghosted me.” He didn’t think he could go into their dating arrangement and the kiss without them thinking he was totally insane.
“Shouldn’t you have gotten decline alerts?” asked Bonnie.
“I swear I didn’t.”
“Well, so you didn’t call her and ask what was up?” asked Brad.
“So she can tell me she’s going out with Josh?”
“Oh, I would not do that,” said Carlo fervently. “I’ll just take the L quietly, thanks.”
“Well, what was her last text like? Did she thumbs up you?” asked Bonnie, frowning. “Or something even meaner?”
“I feel like I’m talking to high schoolers,” complained Brad. “I don’t understand dating anymore. I’m not saying I ever really got it, but now I’m completely lost. Why are we interpreting emojis like they’re the Rosetta Stone?”
“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” asked Ash.
Brad facepalmed himself. “OK,” he said, pulling his hand away, “You want some karate master bullshit? Here’s your sensei-ism of the day—if your actions aren’t working, you must try something else.
You have to switch it up. Do something unexpected.
And now here’s your Gen X advice—pick up the damn phone and call her!
If you can’t tell what she is thinking, then you will have to ask. ”
“Actually, that is weird,” said Carlo. “Not Shihan’s advice—that’s clearly a straight punch into insanity. Who calls people on the phone? But if she is on the spectrum, you should know what she’s thinking. For most of the neurospicy’s in my life, subtext is not a thing.”
Ash turned that over in his head. “You’re right,” he said at last. “Harper usually just says what’s on her mind. I really appreciate that about her. I’m the one who overthinks.”
“Oh, really? I had no idea,” said Brad.
“Your sarcasm is hurtful,” said Ash, trying to sound dignified.
“OK, how about this? Stop being a pussy, call the girl, and ask what’s up.”
“Now you sound like my brother. Why is Gen X so mean?”
“Are we mean, or are you just wussies?” asked Shihan.
“It can’t be both?” asked Bonnie, which earned a nod from Brad.
“Mmm… yeah, I’ll go with that,” he said, looking comfortable with his asshole status.
Unable to help himself, Ash snorted a laugh, and Shihan held out his hand for a fist bump.
But at home, Ash faced his phone nervously. Maybe he should text? That was less confrontational. It also left a lot to interpretation. Finally, he grabbed the phone and dialed. After two rings, Harper answered, and Ash could tell she was nervous just from how she said his name.
“Hey, Harper!”
That was too cheerful. He tried to adjust.
“Um… I went to your work? Your receptionist said you left with Josh.”
“You canceled all of our dates, and I wanted fries.”
“I canceled? Um…” Ash went to his laptop—it was open on the coffee table—and jiggled the mouse. “No?”
“Yes?”
“No, the invites are still on the calendar. But…” He clicked on one and opened it. “You just aren’t on any of them.”
“That’s what canceled means,” said Harper.
“But I didn’t do it!”
“Maybe Romeo did it?” offered Harper.
“Maybe? That seems weird. Did you really think I canceled on you?”
“Well, you never texted back after the thing with your brother and… everything.”
“No, I did! I…” Ash looked at his phone and then clicked into his text thread with Harper. “Or, um, apparently, I never hit send.”
“Oh.”
“OK, so I guess I am apologizing for being an asshole. I did not mean to do any of that.”
Only after the words were out of his mouth did he realize that their kiss could be included under any of that .
Harper heaved a sigh of relief. “Well, it did seem out of character. I was really confused.”
“Did Josh at least feed you fries?”
“Well, I got some fries. But Josh was kind of a jerk. I wasn’t trying to say his mother didn’t love him.”
Ash couldn’t stop the crack of laughter that burst out of him. “Did you unintentionally argue with him, and then he took it personally?”
“Yes! That’s exactly what happened!”
“I’m DoorDashing you fries,” said Ash, feeling the malicious glow of triumph. Arguing with Harper was a specialized skill. Josh, whoever he was, had lost.
“Really? Can they be truffle fries?”
“Uh, I think they definitely should be,” said Ash, flipping open the app.
“Oh, I’m so glad we’re not mad at each other,” said Harper. “Not just because of the fries,” she added hastily.
“But a little bit because of the fries? That’s fine. I’m OK with being forgiven because of my food-procuring skills. It makes me feel masculine.”
Harper giggled. “Well, I don’t really think there’s anything to forgive you for. Your brother got shot, didn’t he? You must have been having the worst few weeks. I’m sad I missed Halloween, though.”
Ash groaned. “Don’t bring up Halloween!”
He finished the fry order and carried his phone into the kitchen. He had leftovers tucked away for dinner. He was pretty sure. Maybe.
“Oh no! What happened?”
“Forest said he was going to Rowan’s for a family thing and that I thought it meant our family, so then I stopped in, and it was an entire building carnival for kids.”
“Fun! Oh. But you’re not a kid.”
“Right,” said Ash, shaking his head. “And I don’t have a kid, so I’m pretty sure they all thought I was crazy. But I did meet Rowan’s new girlfriend, who was shockingly nice. And they both seem to be recovering from the whole shooting thing, so that was a relief.”
Why was talking to Harper so easy? He wished she were here in person, but he was just relieved to have her back in any format.
“I also got to spend time with Olly, which is always awesome. And I talked a bit more to Chloe, the new nanny.”
“Oh, how did that go?”
“She’s quirky AF, and that would be awesome if she were one of my friends, but I’m still not sure about her as someone for Forest to rely on.”
“Well, what did he say?” asked Harper doubtfully.
“He didn’t have to say a damn thing. He was way more relaxed than the last eight times I’ve seen him, so clearly, she’s having an impact.
And she was great with Olly, I’m just… I don’t know.
Rowan and Forest are normal people, you know?
They don’t do weird things. Well, I mean, not anymore.
Forest did have a bit of a wild phase in his twenties, but he’s Mr. Responsible now.
And you said it yourself, his business is huge.
Anyway, bottom line, Rowan wasn’t hurt that bad, his girlfriend was nice, Forest was not in freak-out mode, and I taught Olly to say give me your booty! ”
“What?”
“He was a pirate for Halloween. It was funny.”
“That sounds like something only uncles think is funny,” said Harper, but chuckling.
“Rowan did laugh pretty hard,” agreed Ash.
The conversation wandered through re-heating the leftovers and her getting fries and finally finished up when she said she had to wash her face.
Ash reluctantly hung up and went to work on his own nighttime routine.
When he flopped into bed, it was with a smile, but he sighed in discontent once the lights were out.
The bed would have felt better with someone on the other side.
Was it possible to miss someone who’d never spent the night?