Chapter 17 #2
Hi. I just wanted to let you know that Carmen is here.
She’s Freya’s caregiver. At least, that’s how she introduced herself.
She wants to speak to you and I didn’t want to turn her away.
Come home when you’re ready, but be prepared.
She’s not very happy with how this has all gone so far.
I love you, and I’ll be right by your side x
Vanessa hit send, then braced her hands against the counter for a moment.
Once she had calmed her racing thoughts and her thundering heartbeat, she reached for two cups and prepared the tea.
It was the only thing she felt capable of doing right now.
Considering she had been a teacher for over thirty years, Vanessa felt completely out of her depth.
She could feel the storm brewing, and she knew the moment Emma walked through the door, everything would change once again.
Emma stepped inside the house, immediately sensing an awful tension, even with the living room door closed. Yes, she could hear conversation from the living room, but it wasn’t casual or warm. No, it seemed…careful. It seemed…laced with fear.
She closed the front door quietly behind her and slipped off her shoes.
She was in two minds as to whether she should take her coat off, but then she shook her head and scoffed inwardly.
This was Emma’s home. She lived here with her wife.
Of course she was taking her fucking coat off.
Nobody, Carmen included, would make her feel uncomfortable in the place she lived and loved.
Still, as she opened the living room door, her heart raced erratically.
Vanessa looked up from where she was perched on the arm of the couch, offering Emma one of her small, reassuring smiles. “Hi, baby.”
“Hey.”
And then Emma’s eyes landed on her. Carmen.
She was seated in the armchair, her back ramrod straight and her hands folded in her lap.
She turned at the sound of Emma entering, her eyes ablaze with…
protectiveness? Fear? Perhaps it was just the need to understand.
Whatever it was, it sent a shiver down Emma’s spine. This was not going to go well.
“You’re Emma,” Carmen said, her voice clipped.
Emma nodded and somehow managed a smile. “Yes.”
“You’ve been in contact with Freya.”
Vanessa rose to her feet but didn’t move far. She lingered by the edge of the couch, while Emma remained standing just inside the room, rooted in place. Emma looked to her, and Vanessa gave her a single nod to continue.
“I… It’s not what you think. I had no idea who Freya was.” Emma wrung her hands as she shifted in place a little. “And I know this isn’t what you expected, I’m just as shocked as you appear to be, but Freya came to me. She told me.”
Carmen’s brow rose as surprise flickered in her eyes. “S-she told you? How could she possibly know who you are? We didn’t know you existed, so how could she?”
Emma chanced another step into the room and took a seat. “All I know is that my parents used to talk about me around her a lot. At least, that’s what Freya told me when she came to my office that day.”
Carmen scoffed. “Yet you didn’t think to take her when her parents…your parents couldn’t look after her?”
Emma’s shoulders sagged with the weight of that comment. “I didn’t know I had a sister. Until last week, I was an only child.”
“You really expect me to believe you?” Carmen glared at Emma from across the room. “How can you not know you have a sibling?”
“Because…” Emma paused, realising she would have to explain herself and her past if there was any hope of Carmen believing her.
“I’ve been estranged from my parents for a long time.
I left home at sixteen, moved in with a relative, and then got my own place as soon as I could afford to.
” Though it may have been tough in the beginning for Emma, it had still been the best decision she’d made.
If she’d stayed in that toxic environment, God only knew where she would be right now.
“I took care of myself, I went to university, and I worked hard to be someone they hadn’t raised. ”
Carmen softened a little, but Emma knew this would take a lot of time.
“I don’t see or speak to my parents or any of my family.
I didn’t even know my mum had moved out of the area until I contacted her last week, hoping to find out the truth.
Once I knew, once she’d confirmed that I do, in fact, have a sister…
All I wanted was to turn back time so I could take Freya from her and look after her.
If I’d known, Carmen, I would have done anything to protect her from the upbringing I had. ”
Carmen stiffened at that.
“When Freya came to my office and told me, I didn’t confirm anything. I was too stunned. I thought she was mistaken, but then she started talking about our parents, Jane and Will, and asked why I hadn’t been given new parents the way she had.”
Emma looked back at Carmen, but she was giving nothing away at all.
Fuck.
“To this day, I haven’t spoken to her outside of P.E.
lessons. In fact, I’ve tried to avoid seeing her in the corridors as much as I possibly could.
I just…” Emma swallowed down the emotion in her throat when her voice broke.
Vanessa sat beside her and took her hand, squeezing it in support.
“I can’t face her. The way she was looking at me that day…
I can’t face another one of those conversations until I know what is and isn’t allowed.
Because now that I know the truth, I cannot lie to her. She deserves so much more than that.”
“She didn’t tell us,” Carmen said, her voice shaking. “Not a word.”
“I promise I haven’t said anything since,” Emma said. “Not to her. Not even to anyone else at school. The day the headteacher called me to her office about a meeting with a social worker was the same day I was going to her for advice.”
“And what advice did she give you?” Carmen asked, a hint of attitude in her tone. “Since everything has been going on here without my knowledge…”
“Nothing has been going on, Carmen. Nobody is plotting against you or anything of the kind.” Emma frowned. “And the head didn’t have much advice for me, but since you seem to think that I’m here to disrupt everything, I’ll tell you what I told her.”
“And what was that?”
“That I’d hand in my resignation and never step foot inside the school again if it meant Freya could just get on with her life and not worry about being uprooted again.”
Vanessa cleared her throat suddenly. “I know this feels very deceitful, and I know you’re coming to terms with changes within your relationship with Freya, but Emma isn’t the bad guy here, Carmen.
She’s suffered just as much as Freya has over the years, and I think it’s important to remember that the only people to blame for all of this are Emma and Freya’s birth parents. ”
God, the weight of Carmen’s silence was almost unbearable.
Emma’s fingers tightened slightly around the armrest of the couch. What did this woman want her to say? That Emma would leave and never look back? That wasn’t an option. This town was her home, and it always would be.
“I’m not here to push my way into her life. I never planned for any of this, and I won’t force it. But if there’s a chance I can be there for her, even just a small one, then I want to earn that.”
Carmen glared back at Emma for longer than necessary, and then eventually, she said, “You don’t think this will hurt her?”
“I think not acknowledging it will.” Emma could only be honest from this point on. Tiptoeing around it didn’t seem to be helping her at all. “She knows I’m her sister; we can’t change that.”
Carmen’s tough exterior cracked ever so slightly, her hands now almost shaking in her lap. “She’s only twelve.”
“I know,” Emma whispered. “That’s why I’m doing everything I can not to mess this up.”
“Are you?” Carmen visibly swallowed. “Because from where I’m sitting, you’re inserting yourself into my family’s life, and I don’t like it.”
Just as Emma had thought, this wasn’t going to go her way.
She wanted to get to her knees and beg Carmen to give her a chance, but what right did she have?
Her own mother had fucked that chance for her the day Freya was born.
“Then…I guess that’s it.” Emma’s bottom lip trembled, but she wouldn’t give this stranger the satisfaction of seeing her upset.
She took it between her teeth and nodded slowly.
“I’m sorry you feel threatened by the fact that I exist, but I’ll speak to the head as soon as possible and once again offer the idea of leaving my position at the school. ”
“You’ll do no such thing.” Vanessa rose to her feet and moved towards the living room door. “I think it’s time for you to leave, Carmen.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re claiming Emma is inserting herself into your family and sneaking around behind your back, yet you somehow managed to obtain our address and show up here, likely without the social worker knowing that.”
Carmen’s face paled. While Emma didn’t want it to be this way, she was impressed by Vanessa’s support. God, her wife was incredible.
“She’s not trying to replace anyone. She’s trying to navigate something incredibly difficult to deal with.
While I understand you’re also doing the same, I won’t have you coming into our home and throwing around entirely baseless accusations.
” Vanessa strode out into the hallway and opened the front door.
“If you want to speak with Emma again, you’ll do it through official channels.
My wife has enough to deal with without you showing up here unannounced and uninvited. ”
Carmen gripped the strap of her handbag tight and stood up. She squared her shoulders, aware that she’d won the battle, and cleared her throat. “I guess I’ll see you at the meeting then.”