Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
One month later…
Emma sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at her phone in her hand.
For the last month, she had been slowly getting to know Freya via email—though it felt more like they were both waiting for the other to progress the relationship—but this week, everything felt as though it had shifted.
Two days ago, Carmen had called her out of the blue, asking if she could drop Freya at home after school.
Ben was stuck in a meeting, and Carmen had been having car trouble.
Emma hadn’t expected it, her heart was in her mouth for the entire journey to the other side of town, but Freya had been a diamond.
So tonight, she was making the call about taking Freya out for dinner. Surely if Emma could be trusted to drop her off after school, she could be trusted to sit across a table from her in a restaurant.
She smiled when she reminded herself of the grin Freya wore when Emma was waiting for her at the school gates.
She’d been confused, understandably so, but that confusion had suddenly turned into excitement as Freya slid into the passenger seat of Emma’s car, her face lit up like it was Christmas morning.
She pressed the call button before she could change her mind.
“Hi, Emma.”
Emma rubbed at the back of her neck, those nerves just about there. “Hi. Have you got a minute to spare?”
“Of course. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Great. I just wanted to run dinner with Freya by you again.” Emma cleared her throat. “I think maybe the both of us could be ready to give it a try.”
“Mm. Freya hasn’t stopped asking.”
Emma grinned. “That’s a good sign.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well, I thought maybe go for a walk along the beach and then have dinner.” Emma knew they didn’t have daylight on their side at this time of year, so a weekend would be the perfect opportunity to get a walk in before it was dark by four in the afternoon.
“She mentioned to me a few weeks ago that she gets nervous in busy places. I was wondering if you had any suggestions? Somewhere she’d feel comfortable… ”
Carmen chuckled, settling Emma instantly. “I think you’ll find she already has her heart set on somewhere.”
Emma frowned. “She does? Well, that helps if she has a preferred restaurant already. Whatever is best for Freya works for me.”
“No, it’s not a restaurant,” Carmen said. “She hasn’t stopped talking about wanting to see your house for weeks, Emma. Every other conversation seems to come back to it. She’s… Well, she’s very determined when she wants something, as you’ve probably realised.”
Huh. That sounded a lot like Emma herself. “She mentioned our place the other week, but I wasn’t sure how realistic that was, so I kind of brushed it off. I didn’t want to push or cross any line.”
“You’re not crossing a line. I actually ran it past Nia after Freya brought it up the first time. We’ve all agreed that it might be exactly what she needs. Something that feels normal. A safe space, if you will.”
“O-oh, okay. That’s…yeah, I’m cool with that.”
“We trust you, Emma.”
Emma’s throat constricted. Carmen’s words hit her far harder than she expected. We trust you. She didn’t take them lightly, not for a second. “Y-you’re sure?”
“I’m sure,” Carmen said. “Since the meeting, Freya is like a different child. She’s happier, and she’s more involved in day-to-day life. Meeting you, having a connection with you… It’s definitely opened our eyes to what she needs rather than what we want.”
“That means the world, Carmen. It really does.”
“She’s been imagining it. The colour of your walls, whether you eat at the table or on the couch, if you’ve got pictures hanging up in the hallway. All the things that are entirely irrelevant to us as adults…she’s obsessing over.”
Emma pressed her palm to her chest. “God, I had no idea she was thinking about those things.”
“If you’re ready to welcome her into your home, then we have no issues allowing it.” Emma felt Carmen smiling down the phone. “Just keep it simple. She doesn’t need anything fancy for dinner. She won’t care what’s on the plate…only that she’s at yours.”
Emma laughed, completely ignoring the fact that a tear had just slid down her cheek. “I can manage simple. Pasta, maybe. Or lasagne. Vanessa will probably insist on garlic bread either way. And Freya has already told me she wants chips whenever we have dinner together.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“Thank you for trusting me with this. I don’t take it for granted.”
“Let’s work out some dates. See what plans she already has. Whatever day works for you both, it’s all yours, okay?”
Emma nodded. “Okay. Just let me know what her timetable is looking like over half term, and I’ll absolutely work around her.”
“How about this Friday? And if it goes well, you could arrange something else for a weekend while she’s free during the day.”
“I, uh…yeah. Friday is great!”
“Okay. Then I’ll let her know you’ve spoken to me and that Friday is going ahead.” Carmen cleared her throat. “Just remember that if she cancels, it’s not a reflection on you.”
“I know. And thanks, Carmen. I really do appreciate the trust you’re putting in me.”
When the call ended, Emma sat for a moment in the quiet, staring down at her phone in her hand. The nerves she’d initially felt when she’d called Carmen were no longer present, and in their place sat a warmth and a belonging. The door was officially open, and Emma couldn’t wait to step through it.
Vanessa looked up from the kitchen table as Emma came rushing down the stairs.
Her phone was clutched tight to her chest as though she’d just come off the most important call of her life.
There was a look on her face—a mix of nerves and relief—that made Vanessa set aside her red pen without a second thought.
“Are you okay?” Vanessa asked, her heart in her throat as Emma stared back at her.
Emma leaned against the doorframe and exhaled slowly. “She’s…coming here. For dinner.”
Vanessa stared through Emma. When those words finally sank in, her chest swelled. “She’s coming here? W-when?”
“Friday.”
Vanessa swallowed. Friday wasn’t enough time to get everything prepared. It only left Vanessa with three days to plan whatever needed planning. “R-right.”
“Freya mentioned it to me the other week. Obviously, I didn’t want to get her hopes up, so I didn’t say yes or no.
I’ve just spoken to Carmen about the kind of restaurants she prefers…
and Carmen said she has her heart set on coming here.
” A small smile tugged at Emma’s lips. “I hoped it would happen, but I didn’t think it would be so soon, babe. Maybe…next year, at least.”
Suddenly panicked, Vanessa pushed her chair back and stood. “Right. Okay. This is…God, this is huge, Emma. Brilliant and so exciting for you, but huge.” Vanessa smiled, but then her pulse leapt and panic set in. “What if she doesn’t like it here? What if she thinks it’s boring, or too tidy, or—”
Emma crossed the kitchen and took Vanessa’s hands before she spiralled any further. “Vanessa.”
“What? I’m serious!” She laughed nervously, pulling her hands free only to start gesturing wildly.
“She’s twelve. I can barely remember what twelve-year-olds like outside of a school setting.
Do they still drink Coke, or is it all fancy sparkling waters now?
Do we let her watch whatever she wants on the TV? What if she hates lasagne? What if—”
Emma cupped her face with both hands, effectively stopping the flood of words. “You’re panicking.”
“Yes, I am panicking.”
“She’s not coming here to be impressed. She’s coming here because she wants to be in my life.
And by extension…ours.” Emma smiled as she brushed a thumb against Vanessa’s cheek.
“She’ll love whatever we put in front of her.
She’ll love being included. And as for lasagne…
” Emma laughed. “Everyone loves lasagne. And if not, there’s always garlic bread. ”
“What if she’s vegan or vegetarian? What if she has some kind of intolerance and we make her sick?
I mean, am I even invited to the occasion?
Should I make myself scarce? It could be too overwhelming for her.
” Vanessa had somehow managed to mask how she’d felt so far, but now that this was happening, she couldn’t get any of this wrong.
Emma’s relationship with her sister depended on it.
She pressed her lips together and let out a deep breath through her nose.
This nervous energy was too much for her.
She had to calm down. “I just don’t want to mess this up for you. ”
“You couldn’t,” Emma said, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
“You’ve been in this with me from the second we found out.
You’ve held me together every time I thought I was falling apart.
Do you really think a twelve-year-old with a soft spot for netball and a bowl of chips is going to think you’re anything other than amazing? ”
Vanessa’s throat tightened unexpectedly. She shook her head as a small laugh broke through the fear. “When you put it like that…”
Emma grinned. “Exactly.”
Still, later, as they cleared the table from dinner, Vanessa found herself opening cupboards she hadn’t checked in months.
She moved bottles around, frowned at the lack of fizzy drinks, and then started a mental shopping list. Coke, orange juice, maybe a couple of snacks just in case.
She found herself wondering if Freya liked board games or if she’d rather sprawl on the sofa with a blanket and a film.
Emma leaned against the counter, watching her with amusement as Vanessa turned to face her. “What on earth are you doing now?”
Vanessa shot her a look as she crossed the kitchen and picked up a notepad. “I’m preparing.”
Emma laughed. “For a royal visit?”
“For the most important visit we’ve had in this house since you came back from Ghana.” Vanessa placed her hands on her hips, daring Emma to laugh again. “And don’t you roll your eyes at me. This matters.”
Emma crossed the room and slipped her arms around Vanessa’s waist, kissing her shoulder. “It matters to me, too. But we’re not going to get it wrong. Because the thing she wants more than anything isn’t Coke or garlic bread or telly. It’s to sit at a table with her sister.”
Vanessa’s shoulders relaxed. “You’re right. But I’m still buying Coke.”
“Mm. Are you, though?” Emma narrowed her eyes and smirked.
“Fine. Coke Zero. I cannot bring myself to offer a child a drink so high in sugar.” Maybe the alternative was just as bad, but at least Freya wouldn’t be bouncing off the walls before she went home again. “Now, help me make a list.”
Rain tapped faintly against the windows, the house quiet as Vanessa lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling through the darkness.
Emma’s breathing was slow and even beside her, but Vanessa knew she wasn’t asleep.
She shifted slightly, rolling onto her side to face Vanessa, her hair likely untamed in a way that made Vanessa’s heart soar.
“You’re still awake,” Emma whispered.
“So are you.”
“Mm. But you’re the one fidgeting.” Emma’s hand slid over her stomach and rested there. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Vanessa hesitated. She didn’t want to sound ridiculous, but if there was one person she could be ridiculous with, it was Emma. “I keep thinking about Friday. About Freya actually being here and the fact that she’ll see everything. This house, the way we live, us. What if she doesn’t like it?”
Emma shifted closer. “Babe, she’s twelve.”
“I know, but she’s your sister. She’s the first blood family you’ve let into your life in years. I just…I don’t want to let you down.”
Emma’s hand tightened around Vanessa’s hip, pulling her closer until their foreheads touched. “You couldn’t let me down if you tried.”
“You say that.” Vanessa sighed. “But this feels huge. It feels like one wrong move and she’ll decide she doesn’t want any of this. And you’ll lose her all over again.”
The words caught in Vanessa’s throat, heavier than she meant them to be. She hadn’t realised just how much fear she’d been carrying until she let it slip into the dark. Emma was her world; the mere thought of getting this wrong was going to haunt her until she was sure she’d got it right.
Emma’s thumb traced slow circles against Vanessa’s hip, anchoring her. “She’s not going anywhere. Not now. You didn’t see her face when she first asked if she could come here. It wasn’t nerves, and there was no doubt. She was excited. She wants this as much as I do.”
Both relief and love coursed through Vanessa. She hadn’t expected to be the one who needed reassurance, but she was only human. “You sound so sure.”
“I am sure.” Emma leaned in and kissed her. “And you’re already doing more than enough. You’re worried about the drinks, and the food, and whether she’ll feel at home here. That’s you caring, Vanessa. That’s you loving her before she’s even set foot through the door. How could that ever be wrong?”
For once, Vanessa didn’t argue. She let Emma’s words settle inside her, easing the knot that had been twisting tight in her stomach all evening.
She tucked her face into the crook of Emma’s neck and breathed her in, that familiar scent of shampoo and skin calming her.
“I just want her to feel welcome,” she said quietly.
“I want her to feel as though she has a place here. That she can show up unannounced just because she feels like it.”
“She will.” Emma pressed a kiss to Vanessa’s hair. “Because she’ll have both of us here making sure of it.”
Vanessa’s body finally relaxed, her hand sliding up to rest over Emma’s heart.
It was steady, strong, and unshakable in a way that always made her feel safe.
And as Emma’s arm wrapped around her, pulling her even closer, Vanessa realised something important.
She wasn’t just preparing for Freya to visit their house.
She was preparing for Freya to step into their lives.
When Vanessa’s eyes finally closed, sleep now visible on the horizon, she knew that was the only thing that really mattered.