Chapter 17
Barron lay on his side, curled around Emmalyn. When she woke from time to time she seemed to just need to know that he was near, and that was fine with him. He needed to know that she was near, too. Despite the company they’d had almost constantly until the previous evening, they’d actually managed to settle into an easy, peaceful acceptance that their strength lay in one another. It was a comfort really. Curled around her, his body pressed up against her back, he savored the moment, knowing that this, finally was their forever.
A tap on the front door had his eyes popping open. He sighed, thinking her parents were already back, and they’d only been gone overnight. He knew that it might be a long, long time before her parents left them alone long enough to actually find some kind of peace. It would be okay, though. It would all work itself out. He felt in every part of his being that he and Emmalyn had both reached some sort of realization — a point at which they knew, they were each others’ strength, each others’ peace, each others’ home. They’d established a bond that was unbelievably strong. There was still a lot to talk about and details to work through, and though Emmalyn was healing quickly, he knew she wasn’t fully herself and was in no shape to delve into deep discussions. It would all come in time.
Another tap reminded him that his front door was locked and until he let their early morning visitors in, no one could enter. He smiled mischievously considering doing just that. Making whoever it was go away. Ultimately, though, he gently unwrapped himself from around Emmalyn, made sure she was still warm and comfortable, then as quietly as he could went to answer the door.
He came to a stop, surprised when he realized who was standing at the door looking in at him from the window right beside it. Picking up the pace he reached the door quickly, unlocked and pulled it open. “Hey, Hellen,” he said with a welcoming grin.
“Hi, Barron. Is it too early?”
“Naw, come on in. Where you been?”
“In the woods. Doing what I do,” she said with a hesitant smile.
“They should get you some help!” Barron said.
“That’s what I said!” she agreed.
“I’m about to make some coffee. You want some?” he offered.
“That’d be wonderful,” she said.
“If you want to go sit with Emmalyn, I think she’d be glad to see you,” Barron said.
“Thank you, Barron.” Hellen wasted no time in getting to Barron’s bedroom and quietly letting herself in. She stood there watching Emmalyn for a few seconds before she eased herself down on the edge of the bed. Emmalyn was one of their strongest, one of their most capable and to see her like this, recovering, healing, because of an attack was very humbling.
It was only a few moments before Emmalyn very gently turned the upper half of her body just enough to see who was sitting beside her.
“Hey, you,” Hellen said.
“Hey. I miss you,” Emmalyn said.
“Miss you, too. That’s why I’m here. I came just for you.”
“I made a mess of your house,” Emmalyn said.
“It’s fine. I needed a new one anyway,” Hellen said.
“Is it that bad?” Emmalyn asked.
“No! No, it’s okay. I’m just teasing.”
“Oh, oh, good. I’d feel terrible if I ruined it so bad it had to be replaced. Not that I want to go over there again any time soon.”
“I’m so sorry, Em. If I’d have been home maybe it wouldn’t have happened to you.”
“How is you being home going to keep a stalker from attacking me?”
“I don’t know. I just feel like I should have been here.”
“Probably better you weren’t or he might have hurt you, too.”
Hellen nodded, and took Emmalyn’s hand when she offered it.
Barron poked his head in. “Em, you want to try to eat a little something this morning?”
“I want coffee.”
“I’m making it. But I think you should eat instead of just loading up on caffeine. You’re still recovering.”
“I’ll try to eat a little.”
“Anything in particular?”
“No, whatever is fine. But maybe grits. With cheese. And bacon. And toast. With lots of butter.”
“Coming up,” Barron said.
Hellen chuckled softly.
“What’s funny?” Emmalyn asked.
“Nothing in particular, then a list of exactly how it needs to be.”
“I’d be happy with just coffee, but it makes him happy to take care of me right now. And if I’m a little demanding, he feels better because he thinks I’m dealing with things better than I was.”
“And are you? Dealing with things better?”
Emmalyn took a deep breath and thought about her answer. “I’m not sure. Sometimes I want to hide in the closet and cry. How could I have been so vulnerable, so weak to have been taken down by a man that I know I can take on a good day. Then I think I may never go outside again. But then I get angry and think I need to do something more daring than I’ve ever done to prove to myself that I’m okay. That I’m strong and need no one. That I’m still me.”
“You are still you,” Hellen said.
Emmalyn shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m still here, and that’s something. I’ve realized that the most important things in life aren’t proving to everyone just how independent and self-reliant I am. The most important thing is making sure that the people I love, know I love them, because any single moment in time could be the last. And what if it was spent being an asshole just because you can be an asshole?”
“It doesn’t have to be all vulnerability or independence. There’s a healthy medium, I’m sure. Somewhere along the way.”
“Yeah. I’m thinking the same. But it might take me some time to get to that point.”
“Luckily, you have a mate to stand beside you, and be there to catch you if you need him to, or even just maybe nudge you this way or that. I’m pretty sure if you come out of this as independent as you were, it’ll be okay with him. And if you come out of it just a little softer, that will be okay, too. All he wants is you, in whatever capacity you’re willing to give yourself to him.”
“How can you be sure about that?” Emmalyn asked, her voice a little shaky. “What if he finds out I’m not that strong, or that I’m too strong? What if I’m not what he always thought I was?”
“It’s all he’s ever wanted. He loves you. He doesn’t want to stop you from being you. He just wants to help you celebrate being you.”
Emmalyn nodded, then said through teary eyes. “I want him, too. I’m just, not even sure about anything anymore, except him. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to go back to work after all this. It’s like I have to meet someone new and learn her approach to everything.”
“You may feel that way for a while. And that’s okay. But it tells you something that he’s the only thing you’re sure about, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it does. Do you think it makes me weak?”
“Not at all. I think it makes you smart. You’re growing, evolving, getting stronger after a frightening experience, and that is something to be proud of.”
“Even if I’m not sure I can go into your house again?”
“I’m not sure I can go into my house again. Havoc’s cleaning it right now. I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do with it, but we’ll see.”
“I don’t want to be weak. I hate weak.”
“Oh, Lord, Em. I don’t think you could ever be mistaken for weak. You’re one of the strongest of our generation. There’s no shame in realizing you’re not immortal and having a little lighter touch with things. In some ways it makes you stronger, because you don’t need to prove how strong you are. You’re content just to be you, with whatever strength or tenderness that may bring.”
Emmalyn smiled. “I like that.”
“Me, too.”
“Here’s breakfast,” Barron said, walking through the door with a bed tray in his hands. On it were two bowls of grits, two saucers with bacon on them, two saucers with toast and two cups of coffee. He handed the tray to Hellen. “That’s for y’all. I’m going to jump in the shower before Bam and Everly get here which I have no doubt they’ll be doing momentarily. You mind staying til I get out?”
“Not at all. Take your time, Barron.”
“Appreciate it, Hellen.” He looked at Emmalyn and realized she was still lying down, though she had turned over on her own. “Can I help you sit up, Em?”
“Please.”
Barron very carefully helped Emmalyn sit up, and arranged the pillows behind her so she could comfortably lean against them. “There you go. Anything else?”
“The food,” she said, her eyebrows raised.
Barron laughed, thrilled to see her spirit still there. He took the tray from Hellen and placed it across Emmalyn’s lap. “Everything you asked for, and I even put extra butter on the toast.”
Emmalyn smiled as she reached shakily for a slice of toast. Her body was still trying to purge the drugs in her system and she hadn’t been eating properly because she’d slept so much.
“I’ll be right out,” Barron said.
“Take your time, we’ll be fine,” Hellen said.
Emmalyn watched Barron walk toward the bedroom door, then impulsively called his name. “Barron!”
He stopped and took a few steps back toward her. “Yeah,” he asked.
“I love you.”
Barron’s smile would have lit the world at that particular moment. He came back over and kissed her lips softly. “I love you, too.”
“Go get clean, you’re kind of stinky,” Emmalyn said.
Barron laughed, kissed her again before walking away, and was still laughing when they heard him close the bathroom door just down from the bedroom.
Emmalyn smiled at Hellen. “I do love him, so damn much.”
“I know you do,” Hellen said.
“Turns out all I needed all this time was Barron. Here I was thinking I was so strong and mighty, and all I needed to be everything I could be, was Barron. Gotta keep him on his toes, though. Or he’ll think there’s something wrong with me.”
Hellen laughed. “Everything in true Em fashion. In the meantime, you do realize you’ll never, ever have to worry about being alone again. You’ll never have to face anything again without his support. You got your mate.”
Emmalyn looked spellbound at Hellen, then slowly a huge smile curved her lips. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Yes. And he’s got you. It must be a wonderful feeling.”
“It’s the best feeling.”
~~~
Hellen left Barron and Emmalyn to spend a little time alone before Emmalyn's parents arrived, as Barron so clearly thought they would. Taking her time, walking back to her own home and taking in the sounds and smells of home, the sound of a child’s laughter caught her attention. She stopped on the road out in front of Havoc’s house and smiled while watching Harley having an animated conversation on the wide side porch with what was apparently her imaginary friend. She laughed to herself, finding her niece delightful.
Changing direction, she was almost all the way up the grandly designed stairs leading to the wraparound porch when she caught Harley’s attention.
“Aunt Hellen!” Harley screeched, rushing over to wait for Hellen to take the last three steps to be on porch level.
“Harley!” Hellen screeched right back at her.
“I been waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more for you to come home. Why do you stay gone so long?”
“It’s my job. I have to be out there protecting all the wild animals and make sure everything is safe out there.”
“It must be a lot of animals out there.”
“Why do you say that?” Hellen asked.
“It takes you forever.”
Hellen laughed, then realized what she’d thought was a toy draped over Harley’s shoulder wasn’t a toy. It was an iguana. “What is that on your shoulder?”
“That’s my friend. His name is Gerald.”
Hellen looked at the large lizard. His upper body was easily the size of two grown men’s hands, and his tail twice as long. He was a bright tangerine color mixed with whites and ivories. His eyes were a deep orange and his claws an ivory color. Hellen looked suspiciously at the reptile. “So, how long have you had Gerald?”
“A while now. He’s my best friend. I tell him everything.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Where’d he come from?”
“Daddy got him for me because where he was living they weren’t very nice to him and he was kind of skinny.”
“The people weren’t nice to him?” Hellen asked, ready to send some officers to investigate the place. You had to have certain regulations met in order to maintain an exotic animal license, especially if you were a registered breeder.
“No, the other iguanas. He doesn’t see so good, and he didn’t get very much food and they picked on him. Daddy saw him in the pet store in New Orleans and brought him home for me. He really likes me. I give him lots to eat and he gets to lie in the sunshine, and nobody picks on him. He’s really getting fat, too.”
“I see that. He’s really a beautiful iguana.”
“See, Gerald. I told you you were pretty,” Harley said.
Hellen watched as the large, though spectacularly strikingly colored iguana, lifted his head in response to his name, then snuggled it back onto the little girl’s shoulder. He obviously was bonded to Harley.
“Well, I’m glad you have a new friend, and Gerald has a new home. And I’m really glad you weren’t talking to yourself like I thought you were when I first got here,” Hellen said.
“Oh, I do that, too. Gerald doesn’t answer, so I answer for him.”
“Well, I guess as long as it’s nice, it’s all good,” Hellen said.
Harley smiled.
“I think I’m going to say hi to Analise.”
“Okay. Me and Gerald are gonna keep hunting for his lunch.”
“Alrighty then, happy hunting.” Hellen laughed as she watched Harley and Gerald sneak off around the corner in search of whatever it was Harley was planning on feeding him.
She knocked on the door, then eased it open. “’Lise?!”
“Right here,” Analise said from her seat at the kitchen table, just to the right of the front door.
“There you are!” Hellen said, stepping inside and closing the door behind herself.
Analise had already stood and was was making her way around the kitchen table to get to Hellen. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me, too. How are you?”
“I’m good! Better now that everything is calming down.”
“Sorry I wasn’t here.”
“Oh, please! We all have lives. It’s not like every one of us can simply wander around each other waiting for something to go wrong. And had Emmalyn bothered to let us know what was going on to begin with, it would have been a lot easier to keep her safe regardless. Stubborn woman.”
“To say the least,” Hellen said with a soft smile.
“So, how long are you staying before you have to go back out again?”
“I’m not sure yet, but not long. I cut my on hours short because I knew there had to be trouble with so many of you trying to reach me. I should have responded sooner. My situation just didn’t allow it.”
“It’s okay. Hey, you want some coffee? Or how about something to eat? You hungry?”
“I just ate at Barron and Emmalyn’s, but some more coffee would be great.”
“Coming up. Have a seat.” While Analise poured Hellen’s coffee, she thought about what Hellen had just said about her situation. “So, what exactly is your situation?” Analise asked.
“Injured animal. Trying to keep it alive. Somebody really did a number on it. Shot it through the back a few times, and even through its skull. One of the bullets took one of its eyes. It even had deep gashes through its body. A boat propeller, I believe. Whoever shot its last attempt to be sure it died.”
“Damn, Hellen. I’m surprised you found it alive.”
“Me, too. I thought it was dead, but it twitched when I tried to bury it. It obviously wasn’t ready to be buried yet, so I decided to see if I could help it survive.”
“I’m sure it’s grateful.”
Hellen laughed. “Not even slightly. Surliest damn thing I’ve ever come across, but I suppose I would be, too, if someone attacked me and left me for dead.”
“True. I don’t think I’d be very happy about it.”
“What are you doing here?” Hellen asked, eyeing the list of wedding guests sitting beside Analise’s laptop.
Analise approached the table with Hellen’s coffee in hand. She gave it to her, then sat down before her laptop again. “I’m sending emails, and phone calls just to back the emails up, letting everybody know that the wedding has been postponed. Trying to get the details Emmalyn had already confirmed pushed back a little.”
“Oh, yeah. Havoc mentioned this morning that you two are going to put it off a little longer.”
“Seems like the right thing to do. It’s just a celebration. It won’t make us any more mated than we already are, and with Emmalyn and everything, I couldn’t see not postponing for a little while.”
“Makes sense. I know she really wanted to be a big part of it and she’s definitely not ready for that yet.”
“Exactly!” Analise said.
Hellen sipped her coffee while watching Analise typing out emails, then crossing names off her list for the next half hour.
When Analise was done, she smiled and sat back in her chair, picking up her own coffee that had gone cold by then. She grimaced a little, but continued to drink it anyway. “So, you headed home? You going to be around for a few days?”
Hellen kind of hemmed and hawed, not really committing to one thing or another. Finally she looked Analise in the eye. “I think I’m going to stop by and visit my mom and dad for a little while, then maybe tomorrow or the next day, heading back to see how my gator is.”
“Gator?! You’re trying to save an alligator?!”
“Well, yeah. Why not. He’s not that much different from Gerald,” Hellen said, gesturing in the general direction of Harley still playing on the side porch. “Doesn’t anything have the right to live as long as it’s not hurting anything else?”
“Aren’t gators just cold blooded, prehistoric eating machines?” Analise asked.
“Some, maybe. But Analise, they’re all wild creatures. They’re just trying to survive.”
“Please don’t try to pet the damn thing! It could eat you!”
“At this point, I think it’s more afraid of me, than me of it. It’s weak, and struggling to heal.”
“Just be careful. Please.”
Hellen nodded, looking into her cup as she swirled the remaining coffee around inside it. “I’m being more careful than you’d think,” she practically whispered.
The door flew open and slammed against the wall behind it, as Harley entered the house.
“Harley, I told you to be careful with that door,” Analise said.
“Sorry, Mom. I got to pee!” she called out as she leaned over to put Gerald on the floor while at the same time running toward the bathroom.
Gerald turned his head toward Analise and Hellen, his nostrils flaring, then turned back in the direction Harley had gone and started quickly scurrying after her.
“It follows her like a puppy?” Hellen asked.
“Yeah. He’s actually a very affectionate little lizard.”
“He’s not a little lizard. He’s gotta weigh five pounds. He’s a fat, orange iguana. But he’s very beautiful.”
“I think he’s just glad that he’s not being picked on by the other iguanas he was with before. And Harley adores him, so he’s always got attention and more food than he cares to eat.”
“What happened to the puppy?”
“Well, Havoc got a hunting dog, who loves to hunt. So, he doesn’t want to be spending every waking moment keeping company with a little girl that wants him to wear little doggie clothes and lie patiently while she paints his toenails. He’s kind of adopted Kiernan’s family. Kiernan and Shawn go hunting a lot, so he loves accompanying them.”
“You need to get her another kind of puppy.”
“It’s got to be one that won’t eat Gerald, he’s a good lizard,” Analise said.
Hellen started laughing, then sighed tiredly. “The things I never thought I’d hear spoken as sentences.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Analise said, giggling as she sipped her cold coffee. She eyed Hellen. “You look really tired.”
“I am.”
“Go get some rest.”
“Havoc’s cleaning the house. I’ll rest later.”
“You’re welcome to rest here if you want.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Stop eating the shampoo! Mom! Gerald’s eating the shampoo again!”
“You were speaking of things you never thought you’d hear as a sentence?” Analise asked with a smirk as she got up and went to tend to the shampoo eating iguana.
“Shampoo?” Hellen asked.
“It’s coconut scented,” Analise said. “You’re welcome to the bedroom beside Harley’s. I’ve even got a few extra things in the closet in there if you want to borrow something.” She stopped to turn and face Hellen. “Do you have any idea how many clothes your brother has to have? It’s insane!”
Hellen laughed.
“Mom!” Harley called impatiently.
“I’m coming!” Analise snapped. “Take the shampoo away from him!”
Hellen rose from her seat, smiling at the snippets of conversation she could overhear from the downstairs bathroom. As unusual, or even mundane, the life Analise and Havoc were building might seem to be, this was what she wanted. Home. Kids. Family. Security. And yet the mate the universe had chosen to give her, was a sullen, angry, half-blind and half-dead Alligator shifter, who wanted nothing from her except for her to disappear. Hellen rinsed the cup she’d been drinking from, and set it in the dish tray beside the sink, then went upstairs to take advantage of the extra bedroom Analise had offered her. A hot shower, clean clothes and a nap were the only thing on her radar at the moment. It was as far ahead as she could think at the moment.