12. I Didnt Want to Marry Her
CHAPTER 12
I DIDN'T WANT TO MARRY HER
Archer
“What is this?” I glance up at Santino. For the last hour, I’ve been mindlessly staring at my whiskey.
“A wedding gift.” He tosses the black folder on the coffee table next to me. “Open it.”
The photo inside shows the Senator back at the Crucible. He’s gambling, looking like a man ready to give up on life. Losing Paloma cut him deep. Just like I wanted. But now I feel worse than I did when I first got here. Not because I give a shit about the Senator. But because Paloma doesn’t deserve to be tethered to a man like me, someone who can’t love her.
“Father Esposito is on his way up.” Santino sits across from me. “You know, you don’t have to do what the Senator wants. This is your deal. You decide.”
“Not marry her?” I ask.
“Exactly. Or send her back.” He shrugs. “The shame he feels. All that pain. It’s done. It’ll be a while before he recovers from this.” He points at the picture. “You delivered the perfect blow.”
I consider his words, if only because he sounds logical. But the idea of setting Paloma free sends me into a frenzy of jealousy. I have no doubt that if I ever let her go, she’ll run back to her dad and her poor excuse for a boyfriend. Anger fills every inch of me when I think of Paloma standing in the middle of the stage while men raised their paddles. I wanted to kill all of them.
“I can’t let her go,” I confess.
“Why not?” Santino sits back and places his arms on the club chair’s arm rests.
“I just can’t.” I clench my jaw.
The tall double-doors to the study swing open. I glance up then do a double take. Paloma is a vision, regal in that wedding dress with her hair up in a simple twist. Whatever possessed me to hire a designer to make her a dress a couple of weeks ago I’ll never know. Since the moment she signed the contract, I told myself I wouldn’t do this. That I wouldn’t bid on her. Or worse marry her.
But then I saw her standing all alone up on that stage and I lost it. Her father is right on one thing. She’s an innocent. I never should’ve gotten her involved. She deserves a better father. And a better husband than me. Someone who can love her. Someone who can truly set her free. I’m not that man. Even now, I’m fighting the urge to take her away and keep her trapped in a tiny box. I’m no better than the Senator. Isn’t that what he’s done to her all her life? Keeping her tucked away in his mansion?
She enters the room and ambles to the ceremony table Santino’s wife, Luce, set up for the occasion. She looks lost but resigned.
“Archer.” Santino brings me back. “Let me introduce Father Esposito. He’ll be conducting your wedding ceremony tonight.” He furrows his brows then glances down at his watch. “Or morning.”
“Thank you for coming on such short notice.” I shake the priest’s hand.
“I’m here as a favor to Don Buratti.” He nods solemnly.
“Now Father.” Santino wraps an arm around the priest’s shoulder. “It’s not polite to speak ill of the dead. Should we get started?”
I let Santino run the show since he seems to have experience with clandestine weddings. My heart beats fast as I join Paloma at the table. “You’re breathtaking.” I lean toward her, facing forward.
“Can we get on with it?” she says under her breath.
“Of course.” I nod to Father Esposito. “We’re ready.”
“We are gathered here to today to witness the holy matrimony of Tristan Fitzwilliam Archer Sallows and Paloma Honor Davis.” Father Esposito pauses for a bit.
“Skip the objection part. We don’t object,” Santino whispers to Father Esposito.
Father Esposito nods reverently then continues on with a sermon about love, respect and compassion and how those are the pillars for a happy marriage. The whole time, I can’t bring myself to face her because if I had the slightest bit of compassion, love or respect for her father, I wouldn’t be here.
“Do you have the rings?” Father Esposito asks.
“Yes.” Beaming, Luce places one ring on Paloma’s palm and the other on mine.
“Please face each other.” Father Esposito blesses the rings then waits.
I turn first. Paloma takes a few breaths before doing the same. When her golden eyes finally look up at me, I see only fear and regret. I want to ease her nerves and tell her she doesn’t need to fear me, but that would be a lie.
“Do you Tristan Fitzwilliam Archer Sallows take Paloma Honor Davis as your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?”
“I do,” I say promptly and slide the gold band on Paloma’s finger as tears roll down her cheeks.
Father Esposito clears his throat. “And do you Paloma Honor Davis take Tristan Fitzwilliam Archer Sallows as your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?”
More tears spill down her flawless cheeks as she glances up at me expectantly. What is she thinking? That I’m going to back down now. That after everything I’ve done, I’m going to set her free? Over my dead body.
“Answer, Little Dove,” I whisper in her ear.
She squeezes her eyes shut, then nods. “I do.”
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Until death do you part. You may kiss the bride.” He takes a slight bow. “Congratulations.”
My body reacts before my brain can object. I cup her face and press my lips to hers. Her mouth is the oasis in the middle of the desert. I drink from her with all the desperation of a dying man. Our marriage is a colossal mistake, but I can’t help taking this much from her.
The cheering around us brings me back to reality. I pull away first. Paloma’s cheeks turn bright red, as she slowly opens her eyes. And there is it again, she wants me. Fuck she wants me as much as I want her. But the sooner she understands this is not going to be a real marriage, the better.
“A toast to the newlyweds.” Santino raises his glass. “Congratulations. Welcome to the club.”
“We need to get going. We have a bit of drive ahead of us.” I shake Santino’s hand. “Thanks for everything. I will be in touch about the other matter.”
“It’s yours when you’re ready.” He pats my shoulder.
“I’m ready.” I shoot a quick glance over to Paloma, who is now surrounded by Luce, Caterina, Dr. Salvatore, and Pinna.
“Caterina hosted a Girls’ Night In tonight. They were still here when you called earlier,” Santino explains. “I figured it would be good for your bride to have some women here.”
“You were right. Thanks.” I shift my attention to Rex. “My apologies for barging in.”
“I blame Santino for this.” He glares at his friend for a beat before he lifts his chin toward the women. “Caterina is enjoying herself. So all is well for me.”
While the women take Paloma back upstairs to change. I drink two more whiskeys. Anything to drown this guilt gnawing at me. When she finally returns, I utter one last thank you and escort Paloma to the elevator bay on Rex’s penthouse floor. Now that she’s wearing slippers instead of ballet shoes, she’s able to walk without wincing in pain. How the Senator let her participate in the auction knowing she was dehydrated and exhausted is beyond me. Did he do it to ensure she wouldn’t have the mind or the energy to protest, or worse, escape?
“Where are you taking me?” She breaks the silence first after the driver shuts the car door.
“Home.” I turn my head toward her.
“To my father’s?” she asks, and her eyes immediately fill with hope.
“No.” I adjust my weight on the back seat of the limo. “My home in Bedford.”
“Will I be able to see Dad?” she asks.
I hate that after all he’s done, she still loves him and worries about him. He doesn’t deserve her. Same as me.
“No.” I shake my head.
“Why not?” She fires back. “You can’t keep me away from my family.”
“Why not?” I shift my body to face her properly, and hope my eyes show how much I hate our situation. “Because I didn’t just spend six million dollars to share you with the world.” Especially not him. “You’re mine. You will live in my house and forget you ever had a family.” I don’t even bother mentioning the boyfriend. I made my point earlier when she called him.
“So, I’m your prisoner now? You can’t do that.” She furrows her brows.
“Who’s going to stop me?” I raise an eyebrow. “Your little boyfriend, Hunter? Chuck?” I let out a dark laugh. “They had every chance to stop that farce back at the theatre and they chose not to. Think about that. Did Hunter get off watching all those men lust over you, throwing their money away to get a taste of you?”
She slaps me again. “You’re a beast.” She fists her hands and hits me square in the chest.
I grip both her wrists, wrap my arms around her waist, and pull her to me so she lands straddling my lap. Her eyes grow wide in surprise when my hard cock presses against her ass. She makes to break free, but I hold her in place.
“They didn’t throw their money away. You’re the one who was crazy enough to actually pay?” She presses her lips together. Her chest rises and falls with every ragged breath.
“Yes, because unlike them, I’ve already had a taste of you. I’m already addicted to you.” I pant a breath.
Her body trembles. And I know it’s her pent-up desire doing this to her. But it’s only because she doesn’t understand the kind of monster I’ve become since we met. Maybe I can find redemption in her by keeping her safe, away from a world that only wantsto lock her away, the way one does with pretty things. The irony is not lost on me. But it’s too late to try and undo it all.
“This will not be a real marriage, Little Dove. So stop looking at me like that,” I murmur.
“Like what?” Her hungry gaze drops to my lips, and that’s my undoing.
I bring her mouth to meet mine and kiss her the way I’ve been dying to do since the last time she was in my arms. I switch her wrist into my left hand and slide my right one into her hair and make a fist. A moan escapes her as she rolls her hips into my erection. Pulling her hair to expose her neck, I move down to suck on the soft spot behind her ear.
“Archer.” She moans. “I want to touch you.”
“No.” I shake my head, as I continue down to capture her taut nipple with my mouth. Her sweater is in the way, but I can still tease the hard bud with my tongue. “If you touch me, I will lose my resolve.”
“What?” She presses her forehead to mine.
“We’ll be married only in name.” I fist her hair tighter to make her look at me. “Do you understand?”
“Why?” She pants a breath.
“It’s better that way.” I clench my jaw.
“Let go of me.” Her eyes shoot daggers at me.
I bury my nose in her neck and take in her scent and the taste of her lips. With ragged breaths, I manage to find my composure again and slowly release her.
Tears pool in her eyes as she climbs off me and settles on the seat as far away as possible from me. I want to explain to her that this is all for her own good. That if I let my desire for her win, she’ll be lost along with me. I can’t drag her down into the darkness. It wouldn’t be fair to her.
The limo pulls into the driveway. As soon as the tires roll to a stop, she sits up, wiping her face. I can’t tell if she realizes her home is only a few miles away. Not that it matters. Come tomorrow that property will be mine too. Even if she manages to escape the mansion, she has nowhere to go.
“Mary Jane is our head of housekeeping.” I open the door.
“Our?” she asks.
“Come on.” I offer her my hand. “I’ll introduce you.”
I take her hand and help her climb out. She’s wearing slippers, which will do nothing to protect her from the gravel that stands between the driveway and the front door. I bend down and swoop her into my arms again.
“It’s bad luck if you enter the house on your own,” I whisper in her ear.
“Is that so? Or are you afraid I might make a break for it and go home to my father?” she retorts.
“I’m not afraid.” I glance down at her. “I know you won’t run. You love your father too much. You would never do anything to jeopardize his well-being. Am I wrong?”
She looks away. After a breath, she shakes her head no in response to my question.
The door opens for us and I cross the threshold with her in my arms. Fisher, Jacob and Gardenia greet us with somber faces in the foyer. It’s a little after three in the morning. They knew I was coming home tonight after the auction. What they don’t know yet is that I ended up placing the winning bid, and now, Paloma and I are married.
“Paloma.” I set her down gently. “I’d like you to meet my family.” I point at them. “Fisher, Jacob and you already know Gardenia.”
They all wave politely doing a terrible job of hiding their shock of seeing Paloma here with me.
“Everyone.” I take Paloma’s hand in mine. “I’d like to you meet my wife.”
“Your what?” Gardenia stomps her foot. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” She turns to Fisher. “Dad, say something.”
“I thought you had decided against it,” Fisher says calmly.
“And then I decided against that too.” I stand my ground.
“No.” Gardenia wipes her cheek, stepping toward me. “You can’t marry her. You can’t. You didn’t.”
“It’s already done.” I put my hand on Paloma’s waist.
“You bastard.” Gardenia slaps me hard across the face then bolts for the grand staircase to my right.
“She’ll come around.” I turn to face Paloma.
“Your girlfriend lives with you? She’s going to live with us?” She furrows her brows, yanking her hand free.
“Oh, he didn’t think that one through,” Jacob chimes in.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” I reach for her, but she steps back.
“No, I get it. You were very clear. You don’t want a real marriage. And now I see why.” She looks at me with her eyes full of disgust. “You’re no better than those men at the theatre. At least they were honest about what they wanted from me.” She makes for the stairs, then stops. “Where am I sleeping?”
“Mary Jane will show you.” I gesture toward the woman patiently waiting at the top of the stairs.
“Nice to meet you both,” she says to Jacob and Fisher before she turns on her heels and climbs up the stairs.
“Congratulations, man.” Jacob pats me on the back. “You got hitched. We need to drink.”
“Yes.” I rub the creases on my forehead. “Finally, something that makes sense.”
I make my way to the study past the main hall and to the right. Once I see Jacob take over the bar, I plop myself down on a leather club chair in front of the oversized fireplace. What a fucking day.
“Here.” Jacob shoves a tumbler in my hand. I knock it back. When I set down the empty glass, he gives me another one. “Rough day, huh?”
“You can say that.” I sit back.
“Archer.” Fisher sits on the club chair adjacent to mine. “Are we going to talk about this?”
“What is there to say?” I let my head fall back. “I married my enemy’s daughter.”
“At least tell me why?” Gardenia’s voice echoes in the room.
I shift my weight to look behind me at Gardenia. She’s changed into her sleeping clothes. Standing there with tears staining her cheeks, I realize I’ve never seen her this sad.
“Jacob.” Fisher rises from his chair. “Let’s go see if Mary Jane needs help with anything.”
“No, I’m good.” Jacob sips from his glass, his eyes zeroed in on Gardenia.
“Jacob.” Fisher raises his brow.
“Fine.” He follows Fisher out.
“I’ve loved you.” Gardenia looks up. “I’ve always loved you.”
“I love you too.” I stand to face her. “You know that.”
“No. Not like that. Not like your little sister.” Her voice quavers. “I watched you for years plan and plan your revenge. I watched you get consumed by it. And the whole time I thought that was the only reason why you couldn’t see me. I thought that once this whole thing was over?—”
“Gardenia. Please stop.” I step toward her.
“No.” She backs away. “This is it. You won. You got your revenge. The Senator lost his most precious possession. Now what? We’re stuck with her?”
“We’re not stuck with her.” I let out a slow breath.
“Why did you marry her? Hmm?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Why?”
“I don’t have to answer to you.” I glare at her. “I’m sorry if you thought I could ever love you like someone other than my sister. That’s who you are to me. My littler sister.” Shaking my head, I sidestep her and leave the study. I’m not ready to answer questions about Paloma and what she’s doing in my house.
Gardenia follows me into the foyer and stops me at the bottom of the stairs, tugging at my elbow. “Just tell me why? Do you love her?”
“No, I don’t love her.” I raise my voice. “Not that that’s any of your business. I didn’t want to marry her. I did it because I had to. There was no other way.” I clench my jaw and head upstairs.
When I reach the landing, I run into Paloma, who’s looking at me like she’s seen a ghost. Or more likely the devil.
Her eyes fill with tears. “I understand now. Our marriage is not real.” She nods, pressing her lips together. She glances at her hands, then turns around and retreats into her bedroom.
“Fuck.” I run both hands through my hair. “Fuck.”
“You should’ve let her go.” Fisher appears out of nowhere. “If she’s here, she will always be a reminder.” He lowers his voice to barely a whisper. “A reminder of what the Senator did to your family. No one can live like that, Archer.”
“Well, I have no choice.” I swallow. “It’s already done.”
“Or maybe.” Fisher pauses.
“Maybe what?” I ask.
“She can be the one to break the curse.” He smiles.
“What do you mean?” I scoff.
“I knew about Gardenia’s feelings for you.” He rubs the back of his neck. “And I have to admit, I had hoped you’d be the one to make her happy. But seeing you with Paloma. And I don’t mean just today. All the other days while on comms. I think you have feelings for her.”
“I don’t,” I fire back. “She’s beautiful. Ethereal. Any man with a pulse can see that. It’s easy to want her.” I shake my head. “You weren’t there at the auction.”
“My point is.” He braces his arm on my shoulder. “Maybe her presence here is a sign. Maybe it’s time you let it go. Maybe try falling in love.” He blows out a breath. “You know, since she’s already your wife.”
My wife. My head snaps up to him. Those two words send a shock of adrenaline through my body. My wife. “Let it go? It’s that easy?”
“It can be.” He pats my back and heads downstairs. Probably to give Gardenia a similar speech.
I’m such an asshole for not seeing that her tantrums and rash behavior meant something else. I have to talk to her but not until I clear my head.
Touching my fingers to my lips, I stand there in the dark hallway with Paloma a handful of feet away from me. How easy it would be to barge into her room now and take what’s rightfully mine. To finally claim her body. But then what? What happens after that?
Was the old man, right? Can I fall in love with her? And forget about revenge? For so long I’ve been living in darkness, I don’t even know if I can stand in the light anymore.
“She’s innocent,” I echo the Senator’s words.
She is innocent. She is innocent. I repeat the words in my head until they become a sentiment. A mantra to guide me.
When her father made her sign that contract, I made a vow to protect her. It’s why she’s here. There is no other reason. For her sake, I have to stay away from her.