Chapter 7 The Power Of Silence
The Power Of Silence
Silence was a peculiar thing. It seemed to have physical weight at times even though that was impossible.
At others, it felt strangling as if it was an animal at one’s throat.
But most times it was a stick that prodded one into unwise speech and action.
The silence between himself, his mother and the rest of the Thaf’ell on the dropship had aspects of all three.
It got heavier when they arrived at the Ashaton.
It closed off Khoth’s throat as the gangway lowered with a burst of steam clouding the air and obscuring the hanger bay.
And yet Khoth thought and discarded half a dozen conversation starters from the moment his feet touched that gangway to the moment they left it.
There was an honor guard forming a line for them to walk down.
It struck Khoth as odd at first, because while there had always been efficiency and respect for command on his own vessels, there had never been needless pomp and circumstance.
There was simply too much to do to require women and men to stand at attention so that some diplomat’s ego was not bruised.
But there were dozens of warriors, three rows deep on either side of the gangway when they emerged.
And, despite what had evidently been done with time and care, his mother looked neither right nor left at the warriors who bowed their heads and crossed their arms over their chest in unison.
Jace would likely think this dismissive of the people who serve her, Khoth realized as he seemed to see his people from an outside perspective for once.
He told himself though that Jace would be incorrect.
She is honoring them by honoring her role as High Councillor for it is not her, personally, they serve but the position.
Yet Khoth still had a niggling feeling that Jace would just say that meant the position then treated those who served dismissively.
He could also imagine Thammah cheering Jace on.
The faint smile on his lips caused his mother to cock an eyebrow at him.
He quickly smoothed his expression to one of neutrality.
But he held onto the happiness that imagining Jace and Thammah brought him.
He had a feeling that there would be little else to sustain him from what was to come.
The silence did not end until they entered his mother’s quarters, which were in the center of the Ashaton, the safest place on the ship. It did have its own escape pod, which would send it slingshotting down a tube at a high rate of speed and out of the colossus-class ship.
The guards who had accompanied them were left outside so it was just the two of them in her quarters.
But even then she did not speak at once.
This was her way. She dealt in silence. It was a sword and shield for her.
His father had often said that her silences were more powerful than any words he could ever utter.
Khoth was finding that true at the moment as well.
But he would not break the silence, because that would automatically have him on the “losing” end of their conversation.
And he had a feeling that he needed every “win” he could get with her.
What he had done and why he had done it were complicated.
He had no idea how to explain his careful consideration of each act.
I did what I felt was right, but that is not an answer that will satisfy her. It did not when I saved Daesah, he thought.
His mother’s quarters were large for a spacecraft, even a Colossus-class, but mostly spare to match her tastes.
Upon entry there was a circular introduction chamber with a star-shaped pattern on the floor where guests would wait before being ushered into the command quarters.
In the command quarters, there was a large desk that allowed her to access all ship systems and three chairs.
The walls were currently a soft orange like morning skies on Haseon. There was a large clear screen mounted on one that showed their planet with its sun just about to rise over the horizon. The walls’ color would change with that sun’s position as if they were on the planet.
Everything here–and not just here–relates to Haseon, Khoth realized and it disturbed him.
Shouldn’t his mother be streaming Earth since it was orbiting below them? It would help with the time lag that many suffered from when going through far gates. But no, it was Haseon time and it would always be Haseon time no matter where they were.
He followed his mother into the command quarters.
The floor was a deep blue, the same color as their ta’na.
It was polished to a high shine and it reminded Khoth of water.
He half expected to fall in at any moment.
She rounded the desk and seated herself on the executive side while he stood between the two other chairs, waiting for her permission to sit.
The one “frivolity” in the room was a glass bowl on the right side of the desk that held two hasker fishes.
They had luminous bodies the color of new kelp and often appeared to be kissing.
They were a gift from Daesah. She’d found them on a nameless world and given them to their mother as an almost kind of joke.
Two fishes constantly kissing was the last thing their mother would have.
Yet she gave it pride of place. It was the only personal thing she kept onboard.
There was a sleeping chamber to his left and an entertaining chamber to his right.
Both of those rooms were closed. But he knew that they would contain no other personal things.
It could have been because his mother rarely left Haseon these days.
Why would she keep anything onboard when she would hardly ever see it or be able to use it?
But she was this spare at home, too. If his father, Daesah and himself hadn’t brought warmth and character into their dwelling and left it to their mother to decorate, it would have been as bare as this.
What would Jace think of her if he saw this space?
Khoth found himself wondering. Would he just be so awed to be in a spaceship that he wouldn’t look deeper?
No, he would notice the lack of things. He would make a judgment about it.
He’d probably be concerned for her and want to cheer her up. Just like Daesah...
“You can sit, Khoth,” his mother said and from her tone he realized she had offered this more than once and he’d been so deep into his daydreaming that he had not heard her.
He immediately sank down onto one of the chairs.
His stomach clenched as he realized that such inattention was worse than if he had spoken first. He could not be distracted for this meeting.
He could not risk being sent away, though Jace had offered him an independent commission on the Osiris.
But he had never seriously considered it.
He was a citizen of the Alliance through and through.
He just had to convince his mother that he was the person for this job.
That he hadn’t messed things up so badly.
That this was a benefit for all of them and he must be allowed to see it through.
The thought of not seeing Jace again was…
He couldn’t fully capture it, but his Xi seemed to shrivel in on itself.
She told Jace that she would “return” me to him. So, hopefully, no matter what happens during this meeting she will keep that promise, Khoth thought.
“You need not worry that I will keep you long,” she said, smiling as she took in his erect posture that seemed to indicate he wanted to leap out of the chair and race back to Earth. “I can tell you have much on your mind.”
The question was if she guessed what was on his mind.
Or rather who. He cared for Jace’s well being, because he was a person.
Like one would care for any comrade that had gone through an experience like they had.
It was no deeper than that. But he kept envisioning Jace smiling at him in the kitchen.
He’d not enjoyed himself that much in a very long time. So long, he couldn’t remember when.
“It has been a trying cycle,” he stated neutrally instead of trying to parse out his complicated thoughts about Jace Parker and everything that had happened that day.
She nodded. “When I sent you to Earth, I had hoped to give you time to bring your Xi and Xa into alignment after…” Here she paused and that pause was the same as a scream for someone else, but then forced herself to continue, “After Daesah’s leaving.”
Khoth was relieved she had not used Daesah’s rank when she said her name. This meant that this conversation was between mother and son.
“But, instead,” she continued on, “we have both an opportunity and a threat before us.”
Khoth’s forehead furrowed. “I see the opportunity, but not the threat.”
She actually allowed herself to smile fully. “Yes, I am aware of that. But your exposure to humans has been limited and you have not heard their demands before now.”
He opened his mouth to say that Thammah’s exposure had been far longer and she appeared to quite enjoy them.
But his mother would not be impressed with Flight Commander Thammah Pyrrhus’ opinion on anything.
And, really, in the past, he would have agreed with her.
But he’d flown with Thammah. She had saved his life, not once, but many times.
He could see her value, even if she was eccentric to say the least.
“Despite the few sub-cycles I have spent with Jace, I can ascertain that he is nothing like what humanity has been described to me as,” Khoth finally answered to express how he did not agree fully with his mother’s assessment of the species.