Chapter 9 Depths
Depths
Khoth sat in the chair in his mother’s quarters for long, silent moments.
His mind was blank. In terms of whether or not to do as his mother had asked of him, he had realized from his first, visceral, negative reaction that he would not do this thing.
He would not trick Jace to help the Alliance by pretending to love the young man and he would not use that love to manipulate Jace for the Alliance’s benefit afterwards.
He was not adverse to the idea of using his body so much as hurting Jace’s heart.
Not only was it offensive to him on a deep, moral level–his Xi was practically trying to flee his body at the thought–but his Xa also rejected it for Khoth knew it would not work.
The reasons were numerous from his own inability to lie convincingly to Jace’s intelligence.
Jace would recognize the falseness of it all and reject him.
That was even assuming Jace could come to have romantic feelings for him and that was uncertain at best. They were friendly.
Whatever they were was in the nascent stages.
Jace was human and he didn’t presume to understand all their ways, certainly not their ways of courtship.
But his mother had made this a command. If he disobeyed it, he would very likely be exiled from the Alliance.
Just at the moment when he could do the most good, he was being asked to destroy that opportunity.
He needed someone not in the military that he could talk to and who knew his mother best. There was only one person who would fit this description and he had wanted to speak to his father earlier as well.
Khoth used the comm unit built into his mother’s desk to contact his father. His father answered his call immediately. There was a slight widening of his eyes seeing it was Khoth and not his mother on this call.
“Khoth, it is good to see you. I was not expecting your call,” his father said, “though, of course, it is welcome.”
So she did not tell him of her plan to order me to seduce Jace. Maybe she only thought of it after watching Jace and I together.
“I am not certain it will be welcome when I tell you why I am calling,” Khoth stated.
His father sat back slightly in his chair. He was wearing saffron robes that he only put on when his work day was over and he was relaxing. That was good, because Khoth needed to speak to him now. He could not delay.
“My Xi is filled with foreboding. Are you ill? Has something happened?” his father asked.
Since his father was in the privacy of their home and Khoth was in the privacy of his mother’s quarters, the distance that they normally practiced was diminished.
This was good. He needed his father to feel how what his mother had asked him to do was wrong, even if he could not logically get there at first.
“I am not ill. I am very well. In fact,” Khoth paused here and realized, if not for his mother’s order, he was happy, “in fact, I have not felt so hopeful as now.”
His father gave him a gentle blink. “I am glad. Can you tell me what has changed things so radically since the hearing?”
Had the hearing just been that morning? It seemed a lifetime ago.
“I have met a human named Jace Parker,” Khoth stated and he explained everything from meeting Jace to the successful destruction of the Hive and even the time after it with the “junk food.” His father did not interrupt, that was not his way, he would wait until the end and then ask questions for clarifying purposes.
It was his Justiciar training. Yet it was satisfying to tell his entire tale without interruptions.
When he had finished, his father murmured, “This is quite the remarkable set of events. Jace Parker appears quite unlike the descriptions of humans we have had.”
“Jace is unusual among humans, but,” Khoth thought of Jace’s parents and the other humans he had met, “in truth, I believe we have been fed an oversimplified description of them–with an emphasis on their bad qualities–so that they gain no sympathy among the Alliance species. Humanity wishes to join the Alliance. They have been denied. No one has taken their side at this point because–”
“They are portrayed so poorly?” His father slowly nodded. “That would be a tactic I could see being used.” His father’s blue on blue eyes narrowed as he refocused on Khoth. “But I do not see you contacting me about this injustice, if it is so. Not so urgently, I mean.”
“I would not. Mother has commanded me to seduce Jace Parker in order to stop humanity using him and the Osiris as bargaining chips. She wants Jace’s loyalty to lay with me and, hence, the Alliance,” Khoth explained this in as cool a manner as he could, without using any of the anger he felt that she would ask him to do this deeply dishonorable thing.
His father’s reaction was not one of hysterics either.
His father controlled his Xi and Xa with a precision that Khoth admired, even though he was what Jace would have described as warmer compared to his mother.
But in this, his father went very still and his expression went rigid.
It was a reaction that Khoth knew only occurred when he was thinking of injustice.
“Are you querying me if you should do this or not?” his father asked.
“No, I am already determined that I will not do this,” Khoth answered. “It is, to put it simply, wrong. And, even if I could get past the moral implications of manipulating Jace Parker, I do not believe it could be done.”
“Do you believe he has feelings for you? Humans are ruled by their Xi,” his father said the last like a mantra then grimaced. “But you have said he is not like that.”
Khoth thought of the hug in the kitchen.
He thought of how Jace had clearly panicked at the thought of Khoth leaving him and being sent back to Haseon.
He thought of Jace’s smile. The first two things simply showed that after several traumatic events, Jace did not want to lose someone who had shared that loss and terror with him.
The third–Jace’s smile–Khoth realized that was how he felt about Jace and not the other way around.
“I believe Jace has suffered trauma. I have been there for it. I believe he values loyalty. I gave it to him and he gave it to me. Could there be more?” Khoth found himself reflecting back on how Jace laughed, how he licked cheese from his fingers, how he watched Khoth avidly to see if he liked something or not, how he wanted to know everything about Khoth.
He swallowed and said, “I do not know. While I am certain that the image of humanity we have been told is incorrect, I do not know them well enough to understand their courtship rituals.”
And that was true. He did not know if Jace cared for him more than he did Gehenna or Thammah. He did not know if it was possible for Jace’s Xi and his to merge. He realized though that he was feeling more interest in Jace than he had in anyone really ever.
“I see,” his father said quietly. “Are you asking me what will happen to you if you disobey a direct order from High Councillor Voor?”
“No, I already am aware that exile is the only option there,” Khoth answered. “Especially after my recent past actions, Mother could not spare me without showing clear favoritism and damaging her credibility.”
“So what are you asking? Or are you merely informing me of what you intend to do?”
His father’s fingers were now tangled together on his lap. There was a bleakness in his eyes that had not been there when they had begun their conversation. He fully expected Khoth to be exiled and to never see him again.
“I know that you do not speak to Mother about her decisions as High Councillor,” Khoth began.
“I do not, Khoth. If she comes to me for counsel, I will give it, full and unvarnished, but if she does not seek my input, I will not give it,” his father quickly said. “The people of the Alliance have elected her, not me, to lead them.”
Khoth had known he would say this. “You must break your rule this time.”
His father’s unhappiness deepened. “You know I am not refusing to do this because I do not… you are my son. My child.”
“She is wrong. Not just wrong.” Khoth put his hands on the desk and splayed out his fingers. How to explain to his father what were but half-formed thoughts and hunches? “I believe she is acting from her Xi and not her Xa.”
His father took in a sharp breath, but said nothing.
“My proof of this is mostly unsubstantiated, but I believe I am right.” Khoth lifted his eyes from the table and said, “She has limited interactions with humans. She does not know Jace Parker. Yet instead of getting to know them and him, in particular, to even hear what they have to say, she suggests an ill-thought out seduction plan instead.”
“Would you agree though that the humans will ask for a place within the Alliance?” his father put forward. “Is she wrong in this?”
“No, I think they will ask for that and more,” Khoth answered.
“It would be illogical for them to accept less. With the destruction of the Hive, the Khul will return to seek revenge upon Earth, who has no defenses capable of destroying them all and assimilating the entire planet. The end of their species. So either the Osiris remains on Earth or–”
“We send ships to protect them? Yes, indeed,” his father agreed with an inclination of his head.
“As to humanity wishing a place in the Alliance, in the past we have welcomed all species with a connection to the Altaeth,” Khoth reminded him.
“Jace’s role as Pilot proves that humanity has as close–perhaps even closer–a connection to them than most other species already in the Alliance, including,” and this was hard to say, but logic demanded he say it, “the Thaf’ell. ”
His father’s slightly widening eyes told him that he had made a surprising point.
“We have demanded nothing more from species willing to enter the Alliance than this so humanity should be included for this simple fact if we are not being hypocritical,” Khoth pointed out.