Chapter IV. Unforgiven
IV
UNFORGIVEN
“‘THIS IS FUCKIN’ madness!’
“Such was the hiss, venomous and faint as I trudged down toward the dining room. My Patience was at last asleep, tears dried on my cheeks and the memory of her smile warming the halls of my yet-broken heart. I felt almost as if I was drunk; lightheaded, half-witted, feet numbed as I descended. The shadows of Chateau San Maximille still beckoned, but with noon long since struck and the battle done, most of Voss’s court had retired for the day.
Hulking thrallswords stood watch, servants scuttled icy halls, and I could smell grave pyres burning in the city outside.
But the keep was hushed now—enough to hear that furious whisper from the dining hall well before I reached the doors.
“‘I love Gabriel de León like a brother. There’s none in this room who’s waded through more blood and misery with that man than I. And I say—’
“‘Careful, Lachie. The walls in here have keenest ears.’
“My brother turned as I opened the doors. His cheeks were pinked and he was on his feet, facing Aaron across that bloodstained table. But he fell silent as I stepped over the threshold, closed those tall doors once more at my back.
“That keep was freezing—unnatural, even with the snowstorm outside. But the fire still burned in the hearth, snapping and cracking, and snatching up another bottle of Vin de Montfort, I stood beside it, stomping my feet against that unholy cold.
“‘What news of our men, cousin?’
“I glanced over my shoulder at Charlotte. She’d recovered the color in her face, but I could see she was still slightly off-kilter after Voss’s revelation. She met my eyes, gaze flitting quickly to my neck, presumably checking for bite marks.
“I couldn’t blame her a drop.
“‘Mathieu is liaising with one of Voss’s capitaines,’ she reported. ‘A section of old town has been set aside for us to shelter in. I’m loath to bring the refugees inside these walls, but they’re better off in houses than tents in this wretched weather.’
“‘The storm will break soon.’
“‘And then?’
“It was Baptiste speaking, heart in his throat, dark eyes on mine.
“‘What then, Gabe?’
“I turned back to the hearth, staring into those flames. The strength of Phoebe’s blood was fading now, any chance I had of standing against Fabién fading with it.
But in its lack, I could feel that awful thirst rising once more.
Just the beginnings, burning faint, but sure to swiftly rise.
That need never sated. That hole never filled.
“I lifted my wine, gulping from the bottle’s neck.
“‘What then indeed, brother.’
“‘You’ve nae thoughts on the matter?’ Lachlan demanded.
“‘Sounds like you’ve a few to get off your chest?’
“‘Oh, one or two. But let’s start with what the hell are we still doin’ here?’
“‘Where should we be, Lachie?’
“‘Any place but under the wing of the Forever fuckin’ King, Gabriel!’
“‘Any place isn’t an option,’ I snapped. ‘We’ve precisely two by my measure. March with Voss to Augustin, or march the fuck back to León. Any other road puts us into conflict with the Endless Legion. And after today, that’s a war we can’t win.’
“‘Then we lose it,’ Lachlan snarled. ‘But at least we go down fighting. And we weaken Voss enough that he breaks on the capital’s walls.’
“‘What about the refugees? The campfolk who traveled with us? There’s more than just our lives at stake here, Lachlan.’ My eyes drifted to Charlotte’s belly. ‘More than ever.’
“‘Don’t do that,’ Lachlan spat. ‘Don’t use that. I know what yer daughter means to ye, Gabe. I know how dear Dior is to ye, too. But the Forever King is naught but lies, brother. Law the Second, aye? Dead tongues heeded are Dead tongues tasted.’
“‘You don’t need to lecture me on the laws of San Michon. I’m the one who taught them to you.’
“‘I remember. Just as I remember what happens when Gabriel de León allows himself to be led by his heart and not his head.’
“‘And you, cousin?’ I demanded, looking back to Charlotte. ‘Are you willing to sacrifice those innocents we rescued from Voss’s teeth? Our washerwomen and runningboys and stockmen thrown to the flames too? What says La Lionne Cendrée?’
“Charlotte’s brow darkened, the scent of smoke and ashes strung in the air.
“‘Enough blood has been spilled this day. I’d not see more innocents on the pyre.’ She shook her head, flame reflected in her gaze as she hissed.
‘But I will be damned before I see men in León colors marching beneath that monster’s flag.
To spill the blood of imperial soldiers? At the behest of that … that animal?’
“She gritted her teeth, gaze boring into mine.
“‘Never.’
“Lachlan took her hand, squeezing tight. ‘Charli and I are of like mind, Gabe.’
“‘A student of Gabriel de León being led about by his pistolet.’ Aaron reclined in his chair, affecting his mocking Ossian accent. ‘Color me every shade of shocked, wee squire.’
“‘Fuck you, de Coste.’
“‘To be sure, to be sure.’
“‘Can ye stow the smartarsery and tell me what the hell you’d have us do?’
“‘I’d have us do what very few of us seem to be doing, á Craeg.’ Aaron smoothed one blond lock from his face with his good hand. ‘I’d have us think. I’d have us ask perhaps the most important question ever uttered in the history of this empire. No, this world.’
“‘What if he’s telling the truth?’ I murmured.
“Aaron nodded, meeting my eyes.
“‘What if he’s telling the truth? ’
“Lachlan clenched his jaw, sinking into his seat as Aaron’s gaze roamed the room.
“‘If the Faithless are what Voss says, we have no choice, mes amis. No matter the price, nor what history may say. No matter if it costs all our lives. They must be stopped.’
“‘Aaron…’ It was Baptiste speaking now, gazing on his husband. ‘If Voss speaks truth … if the Esani bring the Day of Judging and you’re taken up, you could find—’
“‘Salvation,’ Aaron whispered.
“‘Salvation.’ My brother took his husband’s hand, tears in his eyes. ‘Fate has conspired to part us, love. Even in death we’ll not be united. But if you were saved, we could live side by side in God’s kingdom. We could be together, Aaron.’
“Aaron looked into the flames, and I could see the serpent he wrestled with. If Voss spoke true, the Esani’s plan to birth Judgment Day was Aaron’s one chance to see heaven.
His one chance at peace. The alternative was a life of endless pain.
The torture of watching his beloved grow old and die.
The agony of wandering this earth alone until death and hellfire claimed him.
The struggle in him was palpable; the desire to escape the dreadful hand that fate had dealt.
But I could still hear the words he spoke in that frozen glade near Maergenn.
“‘What would we be, love?’ he asked Baptiste softly. ‘If we conspired to end the lives of every man and woman under heaven? Every babe unborn? And what kind of God would forgive such dreadful labor, much less reward it with paradise?’
“Aaron shook his head, kissing his husband’s hands.
“‘No God I pray to. If that be my choice, love, I choose flame. And though it last eternity, no hellfire will warm me more than the memory of you in my arms.’
“Baptiste hung his head, tears spilling down his cheeks. Aaron kissed his eyes, one after the other, hand pressed to his husband’s cheek. And then he looked to me.
“‘We cannot take the chance. The Faithless must be stopped.’
“I nodded, thoughts and heart both racing now. ‘We needn’t attack the capital in force. I could … find a way inside, maybe. You know the castles of this realm better than any, Lachie, there must be some way for a single man to get beyond those battlements unseen. I steal inside, find Dior, tell her about Maryn, the veil, all of it.’
“‘And then what?’ Lachlan demanded. ‘Yer safe inside the walls while we’re stuck out here with our cocks in our hands and the Endless Legion up our arses? Even if ye somehow manage to deal with the Esani, you think Voss won’t attack Augustin anyway?’
“‘You were all in favor of attacking him right now a moment ago,’ Aaron pointed out. ‘Tiresome as I find you, á Craeg, at least this way you’d be alive.’
“‘You suppose Voss won’t turn on us the second he claims Augustin’s throne?
’ Charlotte asked. ‘It may be fine for some, M. de Coste, but we’re naught but cattle to him.
If we retreat, we stand a chance. If Voss attacks Augustin with the numbers he has, he might win the day, but it’ll tear him bloody.
Perhaps enough to defeat him for good at León. ’
“‘And if he fails at Augustin?’ I asked. ‘If Dior takes the throne and all the Esani have worked for comes to pass? That’s a hell of a stake to gamble on one roll of the dice, cousin.’
“‘And Voss knows that,’ Lachie hissed, desperate and glowering. ‘Ye don’t live a thousand years by bein’ a fool!
He’s given ye a choice that’s nae choice at all!
It’s nae gamble when the dice are loaded, don’t ye see yer playin’ right into his hands?
If ye take up arms against imperial troops, if ye march on yer own capital under his flag and spill the blood of Augustin’s sons and daughters, they will never forgive ye, Gabriel. Never.’
“He met my eyes, pleading.
“‘Nor will I.’
“‘What happened to Your back, my blade?’
“‘Nae this time.’
“I nodded, heart heavy in my chest. ‘Then it seems I die unforgiven. Brother.’
“Silence slipped back into the room, cold and hard as ice. And though I racked my mind for some words to sway them, in the end I could find none. Much as it hurt to let Lachlan and my cousin go, Charlotte was Baronne, and if she chose defense of her own walls, I couldn’t find much fault in it.
She’d already risked everything for me and lost thousands on the wager.
Even now, I could smell the corpses being burned outside.