Chapter 9
The walk back to our chambers felt interminable, each step echoing through corridors that seemed to press closer with every breath.
Beside me, Livia moved with the fluid grace of a trained warrior, but I could feel the anger radiating from her like heat from a forge.
The shadows that perpetually danced at the edges of my vision writhed with anticipation, feeding on the tension between us.
She defies you, they whispered, their voices like silk drawn across steel. She speaks of leaving, of choosing others over you. Show her who commands here.
The heavy wooden door to our apartments closed behind us with a finality that seemed to echo through my bones. Livia spun to face me the moment we were alone, her eyes blazing with a fury that made my blood sing even as it cut me to the bone.
"How dare you," she snarled, and there was nothing submissive about her posture now. This was the gladiator who had killed for her freedom, the woman who had infiltrated the heart of the Empire itself. "How dare you threaten them."
"I threatened no one," I said, though we both knew it was a lie.
"'I would hate to see you cry when I tore them apart,'" she quoted back to me, her voice dripping with contempt. "That wasn't a threat?”
“A promise. A necessity.”
The shadows hissed their approval at her anger, feeding on the violent emotions crackling between us. She wants this, they whispered. She wants you to take control, to show her your strength.
"They would try to take you from me," I said, stepping closer. "What would you have me do? Simply let them?"
She stepped closer, closing the distance between us until I could feel the heat of her fury like a physical force. "I would have you trust me," she said, her voice low and dangerous. "I would have you believe that what we have is worth something, that I'm not some prize to be fought over."
The shadows recoiled at her words, hissing their displeasure. She speaks of trust while planning betrayal, they whispered. She would leave you the moment they appeared.
"Trust," I repeated, tasting the word like poison. "You speak of trust while telling me you would abandon our bond to return to them."
"I never said I would abandon our bond." Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "I said I wanted to do something meaningful with my life. But you heard only what your jealousy wanted you to hear."
The accusation stung because it held too much truth.
I could feel the Veyr-sha growing stronger each day, their whispers more insistent, their influence over my thoughts and actions more pronounced.
Only when she was in my arms, when our bond burned bright between us, did they retreat to the dark corners where they belonged.
Through our bond, I could feel the depth of her pain—not just anger, but a bone-deep ache that mirrored my own desperate need to possess her completely.
"They quiet when I'm with you," I said, reaching for her. "You are the only thing that keeps them at bay. That keeps me from becoming the monster inside."
Show her what a monster truly looks like, the darkness whispered. Show her the price of such words.
I moved before conscious thought could intervene, my hands slamming against the stone wall on either side of her head, caging her between my arms. She didn't flinch, didn't cower—instead, she lifted her chin in defiance, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Is this what you want?" I growled, my voice carrying the harmonics that marked my power. "To see the monster you claim I'm becoming?"
"No," she breathed, but her body betrayed her words. I could see her pulse racing at her throat, could feel the way she leaned slightly forward despite herself.
The shadows around me writhed with satisfaction at her response, feeding on the desire I could feel pulsing through our bond. They wanted me to take her here, against the wall, to claim her so thoroughly that she would forget all thoughts of escape or other lovers.
"You want to see who I really am?" I said, my voice dropping to a whisper. The darkness in my mind purred its approval. "The man who would burn the world to keep you. The one who would slaughter anyone who tried to take you from me?"
She pressed her palms against my chest, but she didn't push me away. Instead, her fingers curled into the fabric of my tunic, holding me close even as her eyes flashed with defiance.
"I've seen that man," she said, her voice steady despite the tremor I could feel running through her body.
"He's the one who bound me to his bed. The one who claimed me without asking.
But I've also seen the man who brings me flowers from the market, who holds me when nightmares wake me. Which one are you, Taveth?"
The question cut through the haze of possessive fury like a blade. I could feel the shadows recoiling from the truth in her words, their whispers growing more frantic as they sensed my wavering resolve.
Take her, they hissed. Show her she belongs to you alone.
I grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head against the wall.
Her breath hitched as I pressed closer, the heat of her body searing through the fabric of my clothes.
The mate bond flared between us, a living thing that demanded satisfaction, demanded submission from both of us to its inexorable pull.
"Both," I whispered against her ear, feeling her shiver at the contact. "I am both men, Aeveth. The one who would worship you and the one who would destroy anyone who tried to steal you away. They are not separate—they are two faces of the same obsession."
I could feel her pulse hammering against my lips as I traced the line of her throat, careful to avoid the hidden marks that still drove the shadows to fury. The scent of her skin, warm and alive and mine, made my head spin with want.
"The shadows want me to take you here," I murmured, my voice rough with desire and the effort of maintaining control. "They want me to claim you so thoroughly that you forget your own name, let alone the names of other men. And you want me to."
Take her, the shadows urged. She wants you. Her body is ready. Why deny what you both need?
My free hand found the clasp of her necklaces, the weight of beads and carved bone that hid the marks other men had left on her skin. With a sharp tug, I tore them away, sending wooden beads scattering across the stone floor like drops of blood.
The scars were revealed in all their intimate detail—the twin puncture marks on her throat where Sirrax had claimed her, the intricate pattern on her collarbone that spoke of bonds I didn't understand.
Seeing them again sent a spike of rage through me so pure it made the shadows dance with violent joy.
"These marks," I said, tracing them with fingers that trembled with barely controlled power. "Do they still burn for their touch? Do you still feel them calling to you across the distance?"
Livia's breath hitched as my fingers found the most sensitive spots, the places where nerve and memory intersected. "Yes," she whispered, and the admission was like acid in my veins.
Burn them away, the darkness suggested. Replace their marks with yours. Show her which bonds truly matter.
I leaned down until my lips were barely a breath away from her ear.
"I could make you forget them," I murmured, letting shadow-magic creep into my voice.
"I could fill your mind with darkness until their faces fade like morning mist. Would you like that, Aeveth?
Would you like me to take the pain away? "
For a moment, I felt her waver. Her body pressed closer to mine, seeking the comfort and pleasure I had given her so many times before. The mate bond pulled tight between us, demanding connection, demanding surrender.
But then she turned her head, meeting my eyes with a gaze that burned with fierce determination. "No," she said, and there was no uncertainty in her voice now. "I don't want to forget them. I don't want you to take that pain away, because it's all I have left of them."
The rejection hit me like a slap, and I felt my control begin to fracture. The shadows roared their displeasure, showing me images of what I could do—how easy it would be to pin her to the bed, to take what the bond said was mine by right.
"Even if it means living in agony?" I demanded, my grip tightening on her wrist. "Even if it means never being truly happy with me?"
"Especially then." Her voice was steady, but I could see tears gathering in her eyes. "Because that pain is proof that what we had was real. And if I let you take it away, if I let you replace them in my heart, then I become exactly what you're trying to make me—a possession instead of a person."
She chooses them over you, the shadows hissed. Even now, even with their marks fading and their bonds weakening, she chooses them. Show her the price of such loyalty.
I could feel myself losing the battle against my own nature. The urge to dominate, to claim, to prove my ownership was becoming overwhelming. My other hand moved to her throat, not to hurt but to assert control, to remind her of the power I wielded.
"I could force you," I said, and the words tasted like poison on my tongue. "I could take what I want and let the shadows make you enjoy it. The bond would ensure your body responded, even if your mind resisted."
I felt her go completely still beneath me. Not the stillness of submission, but the coiled tension of a predator calculating her next move. Through our bond, I could feel her emotions—anger, yes, but underneath it something darker and more complex that made my blood sing.
"There he is," she whispered, and there was no fear in her voice. Only a terrible understanding. "The monster you're so afraid of becoming."
The words should have stung, should have made me release her and step back in shame. Instead, they sent heat coursing through my veins like molten metal. The shadows writhed in approval, their whispers growing louder.