47. Keep Your Friends Close
CHAPTER 47
Keep Your Friends Close
ALIA
" C are to be my first councilor?" I asked.
Elder Pulma jumped with a tiny squeal. He wasn’t a Red accustomed to physical attacks and training, otherwise he would've known I was there. I wasn’t exactly hiding; in fact, I thought he saw me because he glanced right at me before passing me.
I stifled a smile.
"All you Reds, always sneaking around like some sort of dragon larvae, thinking it will get you to power. But I have a surprise for you! It will not get you a darn thing from me."
I came out of the shadows. "I sneak because I know there are those who work against me. You are open in your disagreements, which gives me hope that you would tell me when I am making a dragon's flame out of things and help me see reason. We may never see eye to eye nor will we always agree, but I need that in my life. I need you, Elder Pulma."
His jaw dropped. "You.. you what?”
"Elder Pulma, I was not joking. Would you be my first councilor as Matriarch of the Reds?"
He crossed his arms, but his face was slowly growing less red. "Why have you not asked Elder Timone?"
I shrugged. "He tells me what I want to hear, not what I need."
Elder Pulma's eyes narrowed. He tapped his chin with his thumb, thinking as he watched me. "Perhaps you are not so childish after all," he said at last.
"And perhaps wisdom has caught you."
He chuckled. "You are a right conundrum, miss. But perhaps you are just what this dry, old kingdom of assassins needs. I will be your councilor on one condition."
I tensed. "Ask," I said.
"Do not blow those daggum darts at me when we disagree!"
I laughed and shook his forearm.
I trudged down the forest path. My bones ached after sparring with the up-and-coming sprites. They were good, but not good enough.
A tiny half-smile crossed my lips at the look of awe on their faces when I showed them how to take down a werewolf. Fen was kind enough to assist. He nearly took me out, but in the end I got him with a knife to the throat. We’d both grinned and I’d helped him to his feet as I fielded questions.
Yes, you could take down a mage; you just need to know the price of their magic before you knew how to take them.
No, I didn’t know the cost of my magic.
Yes, I had killed a mage before.
No, I didn’t hunt mages for fun.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. We’d created feral, blood-thirsty, up-and-coming Reds.
As if you’re any different, Ran said. I felt her in the trees beside me, following along, making sure I was safe.
Of course I ’ m different, I replied. I never asked someone if hunting people was fun .
Didn ’ t you?
I winced. That was one time!
Mhmm.
Great. My blasted dragon’s calling me out.
It had been six days since I ran Shen off to help himself. A part of me wished I’d taken him up on the offer of working through everything together; the other part tried to convince me this was better. This meant I could work on things here and get my rule cemented before I had a relationship to complicate things.
No one knew I was Shen’s mate. They couldn’t. They’d likely skin us both and use our bones for toothpicks. The tribe was better about not outright killing magical creatures, but they were not quite ready for a werewolf as the matriarch’s Hunter.
And I didn’t know if they ever would be.
A twig snapped.
I spun, dart gun at my lips, and saw a broad chest and gleaming, golden eyes.
“Shen, you ninny. I could’ve killed you.”
“No, you would not have,” he said, smiling.
I couldn’t help the way my heart jumped at his voice, nor the way I ached to run into his arms. I held myself back. “What did you find?” I asked, crossing my arms and tapping my foot.
He stalked forward, his movement powerful like a panther on the prowl.
I nearly grinned, my heart jumping for joy at the change I saw before me. Last time I saw him, he was a weary and battle-worn werewolf. Now he was different. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing. He wasn’t the same as the teeming and alive werewolf I had seen at the waterfall in years past, but he wasn’t the werewolf chained to his own guilt, either.
“I found myself,” he said. “I found choices, which are downright terrifying. I found forgiveness, not in what I can do for myself, but from the Source of all.”
I let the smile cross my lips. “You did?”
He nodded, stepping closer. “I am sorry, Alia, for all the pain I brought to you and your family. I can never bring your grandfather back, but this is something I can do.” He brought something out of his cloak. I blinked at it, not realizing what it was. Then I gasped in awe.
“Is that?—?”
“A mage stone, yes. I know you used your last one for the sphinx. I supposed I should not bring you a dead deer to let you know I will provide, but I can bring things you may need.”
I accepted the stone, tucking it into the special pouch near my heart.
“Thanks.”
“Alia, nothing I ever do will make the past right. And if you still choose to reject me, I will understand?—”
“Shut up, you big lug. If I haven’t rejected you yet, I’m unlikely to do so.” I squinted up at him. “It’ll take time to build trust again.”
“I understand and respect that. You have every right to be angry.”
I shook my head. “That’s just it—I’m not angry. Frustrated, disappointed, and afraid, yeah. But not angry.”
A fleeting wince crossed his face. “That is nearly worse.”
“Sorry,” I said with a tiny, awkward grin.
“It is not your fault. I am facing the consequences of my own actions, Little Red. Never apologize for the feelings you have.”
I nodded. “What do you want from this? From us?” I didn’t know what to make of him. Part of me thought he’d refuse to do the work. Refuse to find the means to heal and change. And I was scared that this was too fast. Change doesn’t come overnight. It’s weeks and months of striving and hoping and failing and overcoming. Only time and action would reveal if this was a lasting change or a fleeing moment.
“I do not know. I only know I want to explore this, to find out where it leads.”
I snorted a laugh. “So you, a werewolf, wishes to court me, a Red?”
He prowled forward, eyes glowing gold. I slowly stepped back until my back was against a tree. He put his hand on the tree beside my head and leaned down. I could see the individual white hairs that made up the scar on his eyebrow.
“No, Little Red, I want to mate you,” he whispered, his breath tickling my ear.
A shiver ran down my spine.
I ducked his arm and shoved his elbow. He face-planted into the tree with a grunt.
I gasped, staring at him as he held his nose. “I’m so sorry?—“
He laughed. It started small but built until he leaned against the tree for support. His eyes caught me, and in them I saw light and warmth. I cracked a grin, even though my heart was having trouble understanding that we weren’t in danger cause it was trying to bruise my ribs.
That ain ’ t no fear, idiotic and naive Two-Legs, Ran said with a cackle.
I shoved her out of my brain.
He stopped chuckling, his dark eyes warm with both mirth and something I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—name as he checked his nose for blood. “Remind me not to do that again,” he said to my answering wince. But he held up his hand, stopping me before I could apologize again. “I am the one who should apologize, Alia. Lycus gets away from me at times.”
I blinked. “Lycus?”
He rubbed his thumb on his dagger. “My wolf.”
“Your wolf is a different entity?”
He stared at me for a moment. “You did not know?”
I shook my head.
“A werewolf’s animal side is a part of us. Our soul is split at birth. Our human side is what you see, but within lay the animal, the wolf you met when you set us free.”
All of that made zero sense. It was a bit like going into a cave without a light and wondering if you were about to be eaten by a hibernating bear or if you were safe. “Can he speak to me?” I asked.
A tiny smile crossed his lips, his eyes burning around the edges. “Sweetheart, he wants to do much more than that. But he knows you are not ready for the extent of his devotion, so he is holding back.”
He tweaked my nose and I unscrunched it. “Let him out. I wanna meet him.”
He shook his head, even though his eyes glowed bright for a moment. “Not yet.”
“What, afraid I’m gonna be scared off?”
His chuckle was deep and sent tingles down to my toes. “No, I am afraid you would scare him off.”
My honk of laughter scared a very disgruntled owl from its slumber.
“What does mating mean?” I asked, trying not to show a hint of the apprehension boiling in my gut.
But his sharp eyes softening said he noticed the slight increase of my heartbeat. “Mating is a bond between werewolves. A way to connect the souls. For fated mates, it is an increase of what has already been; we are tied on a soul-deep level. Mating is the next step, should you wish it. But you can also sever the bond anytime you wish with rejection, even after mating.”
I scuffed my toe along the pathway, not able to look him in the eye. “What—” I swallowed, my throat going dry. “What does that mean?”
He put his finger beneath my chin and slowly lifted my eyes to his. There was a soft, gentle smile caressing his lips. “It is a tying of the souls, not of the physical bodies. That comes later, after both have settled into their mate’s minds and wish to complete the bond.”
“So… it's almost like an engagement?”
“A bit. It is a promise and a connection. I will know you on a soul-deep level, as you will know me.”
I gulped down my nerves. The prospect was terrifying—and electrifying. Why did I always feel I was on the edge of a cliff when I was around him?
Because vulnerability is terrifying to your sensibilities.
Shut up, Ran.
She snickered, but went silent.
I found Shen’s eyes waiting on me, studying me.
“What does it entail?” I asked at last, and his eyes sparkled with happiness.
“You will allow me to mark you, and allow my wolf into your soul.”
“That’s it?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
“It is much more than it sounds, but yes, that is all it takes.”
“Then let's… Wait, is it something you want?” I asked, staring up at him and laying a hand on his chest. His heart pounded against my hand. It somehow soothed me to know he was just as discombobulated as I was.
He opened and closed his mouth.
You broke him, Ran cackled in my mind.
I could see the answer in his eyes.
“Why don’t we do it now?” I whispered, my voice shaking. I wanted to know him. To know if his soul was as gentle as the being I saw in his eyes.
The darkness in his eyes lit with something soft and warm. He took my hand from his chest and brought it up to his lips. “Soon, sweet Alia, you will be mine. But you will first think this through. Speak with your loved ones, seek out those who know what the bond entails, and ensure a broken werewolf is who you want as a friend for life.”
A shiver ran up my arm where his warmth pressed against my skin and continued down my spine. “You are what I want, Shen.”
His eyes widened, and then they glimmered. Were those tears? “You have given me many gifts, Little Red, but your trust is the most precious thing I hold dear. Please, take your time. And next time you ask, nothing will hold me back.”
A part of me felt a hint of relief. I wanted this, wanted to know him fully, but he was right to encourage me to make certain I was ready.
Deep down, I knew someday I would be. I loved him, and I didn’t want to regret not being with him for the sake of fear. But taking the time to make sure… that was wise.