Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
B eautiful oranges and reds spilled across the sky, looking infinite, covering the atmosphere like an extravagant explosion. Before my eyes, the colors of sunset darkened, hues of the most exquisite lilac and mulberry stealing the remainder of my breath as I took a moment to watch the first stars light the sky.
It was a tradition to celebrate the Goddess Elessandria outside, enjoying the beauty of the earth. She wasn’t just our creator; she had a unique bond with nature. We wanted to honor that bond, the best we could.
Maalikai walked beside me, his hand firmly entwined with mine. An magnetic current danced between us, powerful and exhilarating, as if the universe itself had meticulously crafted us to fit perfectly together—two souls shaped from the same cosmic storm. And if I was truthful with myself, it was exactly what I needed—something I’d never known I wanted, but now that I’d found it, found him, everything felt just right.
As we made our way into town, I noticed it was bustling in the twilight. Those who had been drinking ale throughout the day were laughing raucously. Mothers were tracking down children in preparation for the feast, while grown men animately discussed today’s competitions, and young girls giggled in pairs as they hungrily devoured young male suitors with their eyes.
I was just about to lose myself in the mesmerising sights when a familiar looming figure stepped forward, blocking everything from my view.
“Emylia,” my uncle said gently, nodding a greeting. “Could I borrow Maalikai for a moment? There’s something important I’d like to discuss with him privately, before the celebrations begin.” His expression was unusually serious, the ridges between his eyes furrowed into a dark glare.
“Of course,” I replied, releasing Maalikai’s hand slowly, curiosity briefly overshadowing the beauty around me as I watched them walk away, tension evident in Thrainn’s normally composed stride.
Returning my attention to the festivities, I appreciated dresses of every imaginable color and style as they merged into an endless, shifting sea of rainbows—scarlet glowed like embers, twilight blues rippled like liquid moonlight and golds shone as brightly as the sun’s final breath.
This was Opehlia’s highlight event of the year and most women went all out for the evening feast. Ophelia was somewhat sheltered from the rest of the world by the Aelinthian Forrest. It created a natural barrier that kept out aggressors… but also other cultures.
I watched the corseted waistlines, laced sleeves, and full skirts with curiosity as I wondered what the rest of the world thought was the latest fashion—because Ophelia sure as heck did not have the latest fashion.
The gowns were beautiful, no doubt, but it took years for any new trends to filter this far south. Except for my mother’s creations. She always had an eye for unique and beautiful fashion. Maybe that was the reason Josephine was extra vicious tonight—no dress, not even hers, could compare to my mother’s creation.
As my eyes trailed to the main event, the feast, even my weary heart lifted. Table after table had been set up in long lines resulting in a square around the center of town, covered in wildflower bouquets handmade by some of the women and an assortment of the most extravagant foods.
Roast duck, steamed carrots, fig pudding, honeyed lamb, cinnamon dates, baked bread, and more. The entire town had brought food from their homes, cooked in their ovens. Mismatched plates didn’t detract from the beauty. It was as delicious for my soul as it would be for my stomach.
Every single person contributed to the festival; this year my mother and I had made candles out of beeswax, their wicks already a soft glow in the failing light.
I saw a familiar roguishly handsome face snagging an olive off the table from one of the dishes and chortled to myself. Sebastian pulled out the chair and sat down, folding his arms over his chest.
“I saw that,” I called to Sebastian as I walked toward him, filtering through townsfolk before sliding into the empty seat next to him; our eyes locked.
“Where have you been?” There was no accusation in his tone, just curiosity, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth. I knew how much it would hurt him if I admitted I had chosen to spend time with someone over him.
“Nowhere,” I said, also grabbing an olive and popping it in my mouth.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Then what have you been doing?”
“Nothing.” I sounded guilty even to my own ears.
“You expect me to believe you’ve been nowhere for the last three hours doing absolutely nothing?”
The time I’d spent with Maalikai had gone by so quickly. I hadn’t realized I’d been gone for so long. And even though neither of us acknowledged it, we both knew he saw me walk back into town with Maalikai, hand in hand.
“I was gone for three hours?”
“Yes. I went looking for you and everything. Please tell me you’re not going to start making this a habit.” His voice was unbothered, indifferent, but it didn’t stop a ball from forming in the pit of my stomach.
I didn’t know why it felt like I’d abandoned him on purpose–but somehow, it did. And Sebastian didn’t deserve that.
“I… um…” I had no idea what to say. I had no excuses. At least none that I felt was a valid justification for ditching him.
Absently, I ran a finger across the palm of my hand, the one Maalikai had held. Something about it made me feel whole. I tried to find the right words to explain to Sebastian that I hadn’t deliberately abandoned him.
“Is something wrong with your hand?”
My heart ricocheted, jumping into my throat, and I instantly dropped my hand to my lap. “No. Why?”
“You keep looking at it weirdly,” Sebastian said, scrunching his forehead.
My cheeks flushed the most abhorrent shade of red. Was I that obvious? “I must’ve grabbed some nettle or something.” I scratched my hand dramatically to emphasize.
Suddenly, he grinned. “Is it cooties?”
My heart dropped, an exasperated sigh escaping me. “We both know you saw me with him , so just get it out.”
I was hoping that Sebastian would be happy not acknowledging the whole Maalikai situation, but I guess I wasn’t that lucky.
“You love playing with fire, don’t you? Josie, is going to be beyond pissed.”
In a second, Sebastian had changed from best friend to overprotective boyfriend, and something about it made me want to stand my ground.
He didn’t have a claim on me. If he had wanted me, all he had to do was say so, I was his for the taking.
But he hadn’t.
And now that I was finally showing interest in someone else, he was getting his panties in a twist about it. Like I was his property.
Stuff this.
I’d done nothing wrong, so why was he punishing me? I’d had enough of his bullshit, I was about to snap.
“It’s not some dirty little secret. Maalikai and I just hung out. What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s Josephine. She already hates you, so what do you think she’s going to do if you get in her way?”
“She can’t do anything to me. Don’t automatically assume that she can get away with things just because she has you by the balls.”
His expression hardened, and I knew I’d gone too far. But honestly, I didn’t care.
I had no clue if Sebastian and Josephine had ever actually hooked up. But she was a slut, and he was a guy. I could only guess all the nefarious things those two had gotten up to, when I wasn’t around. So why should there be double standards for me?
Either he wanted me or he didn’t, he didn’t get to screw everyone he wanted and expect for me to remain a faithful little virgin waiting for the day he deemed me worthy.
I refused to be that damn pathetic.
He continued with much less humor in his voice. “Do you know how hard Thrainn and I have fought for you? How many times we have had to defend you from your own stupidity?”
Well ouch.
“Remember the time you decided to find a way into the blacksmith’s and grab one of the unfinished swords? What about the time you stole your father’s sword and started attacking a makeshift sparring dummy to ‘practice’ your sword fighting?” His gaze sparked with raw, unconfined rage, a silent promise of devastation.
“The only reason you’re still allowed in Ophelia is because of us . Because we fought for you.”
The pain was instant as Sebastian’s words opened up a festering wound.
Was that how he felt about me?
That I was some sort of burden he needed to deal with?
“Are you serious right now?”
“How can I not be? If Josephine whispers one word to her mother, we both know she will stop at nothing to get you punished. What do you think your father would have said if we allowed you to be banished or branded?” His voice bled with contempt, thick and heavy, and the force of it had me flinching before I could stop myself. “Especially over a stupid boy?”
“That’s not fair,” I whispered.
I was hurt, beyond hurt. Sebastian had no right to bring my father into this. I’d made one stupid comment about Josephine, and his response was to eviscerate me.
“Damn right, it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to sit here and watch you throw your life away over the first guy that looks your way.”
“Throw my life away?! What are you talking about! I’m allowed to spend time with a male. I’m allowed to live a normal life.” Something completely snapped inside me. “I’m allowed to have sex!” My voice dropped to a hiss as those around us started looking over. “Just because you don’t want me like that , doesn’t mean other guys won’t find me attractive.”
Sebastian was on his feet in a heartbeat, his voice low enough so only I could hear him, but no less venomous.
“That’s what you think? You think I don’t want you?” His eyes, once golden, were now scorched scarlet—staining his gaze with something wild and untamed.
Shit.
Not now.
He couldn’t lose it in front of everyone.
He’d be slaughtered on sight.
Without hesitation I took a step forward, my fingers trailing the rough stubble covering his perfect cheekbones.
“Look at me.” My voice was soft but insistent.
Sebastian’s breath came in shallow gasps, his pupils growing wide in horror until pitch black had almost consumed his irises.
“Bastian, it’s me. Em.”
Emotion broke my voice, but I couldn’t help it. I knew the risks if Sebastian didn’t reign in his emotions and I wasn’t willing to lose him, especially if it was my fault. Risking my life was one thing, risking his life was on an entirely different level.
Sebastian’s gaze pierced mine, sharp and unwavering. Then, a moment of clarity swept through him, his breath settling into a steady rhythm.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I rested my forehead against his, his breath becoming mine, and for a moment everything else ceased to exist.
Sebastian was the one who broke the embrace, taking a step back, reclaiming his air and his warmth. A tremor touched his lips, betraying the calm in his eyes.
“Do you think I don’t know what you were doing out there? Do you think I’m stupid?”
He was still on a warpath, his hurt feelings outweighing logic. But I deemed him in enough control to let him get it out. If he wanted a fight, I’d give him a fight. I knew I could bring him back from any precipice.
I lifted my chin, unwilling to give in to his vexations. The stern image I presented faltered when a lightning bug fluttered by, and I had to wave a hand to get it out of my face.
“I did nothing wrong.”
Sebastian practically grabbed my arm, dragging me away from the table so we were well and truly out of earshot.
“I saw you with his bow.”
My heart stopped dead. The bow. So much had happened afterward that it had slipped my mind. But this was Sebastian, the boy who used to teach me how to sword fight with sticks. The person who had taught me how to shoot and fight and who spent copious hours training me until I was lethal. He couldn’t seriously be concerned about me holding a weapon, could he?
“Out of everyone, I thought you would understand. You’ve always encouraged me to do what I thought was right. To fight for what I believe in and what I want, regardless of what anyone else thought. You were even going to convince Uncle Thrainn to take me hunting with you guys.”
“This is different.” He turned his head away as he said the words, and I knew he felt a certain amount of shame.
“Why?” I could feel tears threatening to break free of their prison.
I knew he didn’t care about the bow, that was an excuse. He was just too proud to admit he felt the same way I felt about him. Instead of taking a leap and telling me exactly what he felt, he was pinning all the blame on me. And all it was achieving was breaking me.
His eyes were steely flint as he answered, “Because anyone could’ve seen you. And you’re not allowed to touch a weapon. We allow you in private. That is all.” Sebastian’s voice broke, emotion sinking in and claiming his words as he continued, “There is nothing I can do for you if I’m not there to protect you. If Josie had seen you…”
My heart almost stopped, weighed down with understanding, while also devastated by my reality. As always, Sebastian was just trying to protect me.
“No one saw me.”
His jaw visibly tensed, his eyes swimming with betrayal, and I realized what he wanted me to admit.
Some people randomly looked back at us from the table as they grabbed side dishes and passed them down the tables. The boar hadn’t been cut yet, but everyone was preparing their plates. Exasperated, I spread my arms out.
“You already know I was with Maalikai. Do you want me to scream it from the rooftops? Is that your goal?” A thought occurred to me that made my blood run cold. “Wait, unless, did you see anyone else watching?” My words were whispered out in fear.
Sebastian, so concerned with his own argument, barely noticed the change in me. He continued berating me like I was his own personal punching bag.
“You didn’t even bother trying to hide the bow, you just stood there talking to him without a care in the world. I saw you throwing knives with him for fuck’s sake. ”
Maalikai.
He was just talking about Maalikai.
No one else saw me.
Instantly, a weight lifted. “Maalikai’s not going to tell anyone.”
Sebastian stifled a laugh. “What makes you so sure?”
Crossing my arms, I stood my ground; I was not ready to back down. “He told me he wasn’t going to.”
Scoffing, he took a step forward, invading my personal space. “Are you seriously that na?ve?”
I was torn between wanting to smack him across the face and bursting into tears. “You’ve never told anyone else, and neither has Uncle Thrainn or Dad.”
“That’s because we would never do anything to hurt you. But you hardly know this guy. For all you know, he could throw you to the Cindralyx without a second’s thought.”
“He’s not going to.”
Even before the words left my mouth, a ball of dread had manifested in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I’d been wrong, maybe Maalikai would turn me in.
Sebastian’s words brought me back to the argument at hand. “What makes you so sure he’s not going to rat you out?” I opened my mouth to answer but his look stopped me dead in my tracks. “If you dare try to tell me because he told you he wouldn’t, I’m done.”
Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest in a stubborn stance I’d seen from him many times in the past.
I mirrored him. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Just watch me.”
Half of me didn’t care if he was done with me. The other half hated how much I’d disappointed him. There was no way I was going to let him walk out of here with bad blood.
Taking a deep breath, I willed my heart to stop pounding. “Because I think he likes me.”
Crap.
Wrong move.
Unmistakable hurt shadowed his eyes. Scarlet bled into amber again, twisting his eyes into something predatory.
“So what?” His voice was a growl, feral and unforgiving.
As much as I knew my words would hurt him, he deserved the truth. And I knew he would want it.
“I think I like him too. And I trust he won’t betray me.” I had no idea why those words left my lips; it was something I hadn’t even dared to admit to myself.
Sebastian mustn’t have realized how vulnerable I was allowing myself to be because he rolled his eyes, his voice coming out as a bloodthirsty snarl, promising ruin, “I’m not sure who I’m going to kill: him or you.”
I jerked backward in surprise at his tone. “Why?”
“Because he has you acting like a crazy lunatic.”
Frustration gnawed at me.
I was so done with this conversation.
“Gods forbid I like someone who might like me back. I understand that you are a bit of a whore, Bastian, but this doesn’t happen to all of us on a daily basis. This whole conversation is bullshit, and you know it. Besides, you are the one that bet me to go out with him in the first place!”
Once again, my loose terminology for his sexual exploits made his eyes flash.
“It was never about the dare. I just wanted you to see me. To realize that you’re in love with me just like I’m in love with y ou . I wanted you to choose me .”
The laughter around us was so at odds with our argument. It wasn’t like people around town hadn’t seen Sebastian and I argue. We had been best friends nearly our entire lives and had gotten into our fair share of fights, but this one felt different.
It felt heartbreakingly raw.
“You didn’t need to prove anything to me. I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember—from the moment you kissed my scraped knee when I was five, to the first time you let me win in a sword fight.” I took a stuttered breath. “My love for you has brandished my soul, hidden just under the surface, quiet and waiting for you to claim it. But you never did. So I kept it buried.”
Silence descended between us with the weight of my words. But I needed this off my chest. I needed him to know that his inaction had consequences.
“Somewhere along the way, I realised you hadn’t taken action because I wasn’t good enough for you—that just loving you was already more than I deserved. I will never be worthy of you. And that was okay, because I knew you’d find someone who had more to give than anything I have to offer. Then Josephine swooped in and I knew I had no chance left, I’d lost you.”
My silence said it all.
For good measure, I lifted my chin in defiance, hoping my face didn’t betray how much this confession wounded me.
Sebastian’s body language instantly changed. His tone softened, fracturing my already broken heart. “Oh, Em.”
Taking a step forward, he pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. “I’ve never been with Josie, even remotely intimately. At first it was because of Evie, because they were best friends and followed me everywhere. But now, I hang out with her because I know I would never betray your trust by sleeping with her. She’s the one person I know I’m safe with, because I would never cross that line. Not when I know it would break you.”
Tears stung my eyes. “You haven’t?”
“Never.” I fought, and failed, to stifle a sob. “Em, look at me.”
Candlelight flickered the golden hues in his amber eyes, shattering the jewels like stardust. And just like that I was lost to him. This—whatever this was—burned between us like something holy and forbidden. The ache of it? The sweetest kind of damnation.
“Em, I love you.”
Before I could pull in a ragged breath, his lips found mine—devouring me in the way my soul had always craved.
Rising onto the tips of my toes, I deepened the kiss, pouring every last ounce of myself into it, so he would know, truly know, that I wanted this. I wanted him , with every shattered, burning piece of me. I craved him until I couldn’t think, or breathe, or exist without him. And even then, it still wouldn’t be enough.
Just when I thought I could crumble no further, he pieced me back together—not gently, but like he needed to, like every fractured part of me was the only thing keeping him from falling apart.
He pressed his forehead to mine, and in that breath between us, I felt it—the ruin, the ache, the kind of love that doesn’t save you.
It consumes you.
“I’m sorry. I was just being an over protective, pretentious dick.”
The glow in his face radiated, seeping into the space between us–warm, uncontainable, and dangerously infectious.
“Does this mean we are done with this fight?”
I felt his head nod above me. “Yes. But, I swear to the Gods, if Maalikai betrays or hurts you in any way, I am going to kill him.”
“You think I’m stupid, don’t you?” With a sigh, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling closer to him so there was not even a slither of distance between us.
Sebastian pulled back just enough so he could look me in the eyes. “Not in the slightest. People don’t realize how big your heart is and sometimes you trust too blindly. I can’t even be mad at you because it makes you, you. I don’t ever want you to change, but by the Gods, please try not to be so reckless.”
I swallowed at his words. I’d been positive that Maalikai wouldn’t betray me. But Sebastian being just as certain of Maalikai’s nefarious intentions, threw me.
“But that’s who I am.”
“And I love you for it.” Sebastian tilted his head, amusement coloring his tone, I groaned.
Why did I do this to myself?
My obvious distress only made Sebastian laugh, before fully stepping back and gesturing to our seats at the table, beckoning me to lead the way.
“If it makes you feel any better, it could be worse.”
“Really, how?”
Sebastian looked back at the table and pointed to the other end of the town square. Looking over to where he indicated, I saw Maalikai, Josephine, and Evie. Thrainn sat on one side of him, two seats down and the girls sat on either side of him, and they seemed to be in a conversation with each other, animatedly leaning in front of him while he tried to bring a forkful of food to his mouth.
“You could be him right now.”
Regardless of all the stress and anxiety, I couldn’t help but laugh. “He has no idea what he’s in for.”
“I guess; it must be pure torture being trapped by so much beauty and adoration.”
I punched Sebastian in the arm. Hard. “Clearly, you don’t know Josephine as well as I thought.”
He shrugged and had the audacity to blush. “Seriously though, she’s not that bad. Besides, she is super-hot. She just seems to always be on her worst behavior around you.” He tilted his head again, considering. “Come to think of it, you tend to bring that out in a lot of people.”
My mouth dropped open. “Are you kidding me, she is that bad. Worse even. And I don’t bring the worst out in people! Jerk.”
Sebastian didn’t suppress his smile; we both knew he couldn’t resist the urge to deliberately piss me off. “I dunno, she can be quite sweet and charming.”
Sometimes, Sebastian could be such a jackass. “That’s ‘cause she’s trying to get into your pants.”
He simply shrugged. “Do you blame her? I’m ridiculously handsome.”
It was safe to say we had found ourselves in safer territory, our familiar banter easily rolling off our tongues, making quips at each other’s expenses.
I looked at him like he was batshit crazy. “Oh, you’re so tall, dark, and handsome.” Sarcasm coated every word, but he seemed impressed with himself, nonetheless. “Have I stroked your ego enough?”
“It just comes with the territory, of being honoured with my presence.” He smirked.
I choked on my laughter. “Now that I’ve appealed to your vanity, can we please go get some food? I’m starving.”
“Of course you are, when are you not starving?” I shot him a glare but ignored his comment. “After you, my ravenous little beast.”
“Screw. You.”
Sebastian’s grin grew into a diabolical smile. Without so much as another word he guided me to the table, before practically collapsing into his own chair.