Chapter 9
9
A s expected, Margerite hadn't accounted for the fact that Anna was on foot. Quick as lightning, she flew over bushes and streams without bothering to look back. So she didn't see that Anna was unable to jump the river the fairy had flown over in the blink of an eye.
"Stop!" Anna paused on the bank, put her hands on her knees, and panted. "Break."
The fairy flew back, shoulders hunched. As she hovered in front of Anna's face, she glanced uneasily between the trees. "Then transform."
"I don't know how."
"Remember and feel your true form. Then it's easy."
"So you think…" Anna gasped again, "…running me through the forest will help me recall who I once was?"
"Exactly."
Anna wiped the sweat from her temples with the back of her hand and stood up. Her voice became sharper than intended. "Then I'll tell you something: it doesn't work that way. If you keep flying through the forest at jet speed, either I'll get hurt or lose you. You can't expect anything else from your actions."
Shocked, Margerite hung her head. When she raised it again, her gaze had softened. "I'm merely trying to help. Many people are angry with you. If you flounder before them as a clumsy human, they won't hesitate to vent their anger — not to mention the captain. If he gets his hands on you, you must at least have the opportunity to fly away. How else are you going to escape him? Besides, who knows if this time he'll let you live…"
"You want to help me? Then tell me more about that time. When Toni recalled how we met, I started to remember things. I think that way we'll accomplish our objective faster."
Margerite nodded. "Only if you promise not to dawdle. I absolutely have to be in our fairy tree before dusk, and not just because I'm anxious by nature. You heard what Iris threatened me with."
Anna refrained from asking how she was going to return before dusk, given that the journey on foot was a day's walk. Maybe the little fairy flew so fast that she could succeed — but then Anna would be left alone in the forest or rather, at the source. However, since she didn't want to give Margerite a reason to fly faster again, she kept her concerns to herself. Instead, she searched the river for a few stones above the water and jumped from one to the next. Meanwhile, Margerite buzzed around her, blocking her view more than once. Anna almost fell into the river on several occasions, but she always managed to catch herself in time. Not only did she hate snow and cold, but she also hated water. Showering and washing were fine. Drinking? Sure. But it would never cross her mind to go for a swim or take a long bath.
She focused intently and made it to the other bank with dry feet, then hurried after Margerite at a brisk pace to demonstrate her goodwill. Since they weren't following a path, Anna would have been hopelessly lost without Margerite, though she did have the wide river as a reference point.
After they had covered a considerable distance, having silently agreed on a pace, questions returned to Anna's mind. She wanted to discover as much about this world as possible.
"What was life like as a fairy back when everything was normal?"
Margerite's eyes shone and a blissful smile appeared on her pouty mouth. "It was wonderful. Back then, we could sleep on every flower, under every leaf, and on every branch. We rose at the crack of dawn and did our work."
"By work, you mean we spread fairy dust on the flowers?" Anna intentionally used the "we" form even though she still couldn't imagine herself as a fairy.
"Exactly. A good pinch on each flower."
It sounded time-consuming. But taking care of plants had never seemed like work to Anna. Time had probably passed quickly — if she had even been one of those fairies.
"Do our names indicate which flowers we care for?"
Margerite shook her head. "They're simply the names of the pollen we were born from."
In the normal world, the scent of anemones made her faint. The images she had perceived back then probably hadn't been products of her imagination, but probably had hidden meaning. Had the scent of the flowers helped awaken her memory because she was born from an anemone? But what had she seen back then, at the time?
At that time. Anna smiled. The day before yesterday, to be precise — but it felt as if an eternity had passed since she had lived a normal life, been at work, and fallen asleep in front of the television in her apartment. No matter how hard she tried to remember, the images were still blurry and she couldn't recall what the scent of the anemones had caused her to see.
Margerite continued, interrupting Anna's thoughts. "Everyone takes care of the flowers that no one else has taken care of that day. As long as no one is lazy or doesn't take part, it's fair."
Anna listened. Was that an insinuation? "Was I lazy?"
Margerite laughed. "No, don't worry. Even if you were literally lost in your work and hardly approachable, you always worked hard — in contrast to Lilie and Calla. The two of them took any opportunity to nap." The fairy sighed and flew lower. "They didn't make it. Why was I always so strict with them when I caught them daydreaming?"
The fairies hadn't made it? It was different hearing about nameless fairies who had disappeared, but Lilie and Calla sounded like somebody — people, a story, two individuals. She felt a pang in her heart. "I'm sorry. About Lilie, Calla, and all the others who died back then."
Margerite's shoulders slumped sorrowfully. "I find it terrible that some of the remaining fairies are in a kind of hibernation. They don't talk, they don't move, and some of their bodies are so translucent, we fear they will disappear sooner or later."
Alarmed, Anna gasped. That sounded terrible. "What made the fairies…sick?"
"Less flowers, fewer newborns, less work, less fairy dust. A cascade effect."
A shudder seized her and she was only able to shake it off with difficulty. When she replied, her voice was merely a whisper. "Do you believe it's all my fault?"
Margerite looked at her with pity. "Giving the pirates our fairy dust set things in motion. Strictly speaking, it was the results of your rash action that led to this."
Anna didn't know what to say to that. The burden of such guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders. And the thought that it could be true and that she was primarily to blame for this terrible situation released energy within her that hastened her steps. She had to find a way to reactivate the source of the fairy dust and revive the fairies. This opportunity would also let her find out who she truly was and what had happened many years ago.
The path through the forest grew increasingly difficult. While in the beginning, Anna had been able to weave around bushes and jump over streams effortlessly, the plants now grew so densely that she needed both hands to fight her way through.
Margerite flew helplessly beside her. "I would magically clear the way for you, but considering the distance we have to go, my bag would be empty before we arrived at the source."
"It's okay." Anna snorted and pushed a maple branch aside. "It's a shame Toni wasn't allowed to come with us. He could have easily carried me over the tops of the trees."
"Don't you think it's strange you met him first?"
Anna squeezed by the maple tree and fought her way onto a thick, fallen beech trunk. When she reached the top, she paused and stroked her crimson cheeks. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well, you were missing for so long, and on the day the pirates abducted you and bring you back, he was napping in the exact same meadow you were fleeing across."
Everything inside Anna cried out at the insinuation, but she remained calm, if not just because she was completely out of breath. "Toni was my friend. Some bits of memory have come back."
"He was your friend, but is he still your friend?"
"Why do you mistrust him?"
"I don't mistrust him, I've just become cautious and alert. It all sounds like one hell of a coincidence to me."
"I consider it lucky…" Anna hopped off the trunk and continued moving forward. She would not allow herself to be deprived of the only pillar of strength she had found in the darkness of her memories.
"Don't make the same mistake you made back then. You're too trusting."
Anna didn't reply. It was no use arguing about it. Anton was her friend — she felt it in her heart. If there was anyone she could trust in this magical world, it was him. But she wouldn't tell Margerite that. She trudged on determinedly, and then they passed a raspberry bush with a few small berries hanging from it.
"Finally." Ravenous, Anna pounced on it. She had always enjoyed fruit and salad, but nothing beat an oversized plate of spaghetti to appease her empty stomach.
Margerite picked one of the berries, sat down on a porcini mushroom, and ate it delightedly while Anna popped one raspberry after the next into her mouth. Although she was famished, she couldn't eat the bush bare. After two handfuls, she paused. Was she full? Truly sated?
Margerite giggled. "You see? At least your stomach remembers that you don't actually need to eat as much."
Surprised, Anna put a hand on her stomach. "Incredible. I could have eaten a horse yet now I'm full after a few measly berries?"
"That's great, now let's go. We've wasted enough time. The sun has passed its zenith so we have to hurry. You also should find a good hiding place before darkness sets in."
Okay, then that was all cleared up. Margerite was planning to leave Anna to fend for herself that night. But she didn't want to think about it any further. Her legs felt leaden. After the day's walk, she would lie down on some patch of moss and fall asleep — that much was certain.
Anna continued walking without pausing. Even though her stomach was hurting and sore — from a few raspberries??? — and she'd felt exhausted, with every step she became increasingly refreshed. Now she was able to follow the flying fairy faster than she had before snacking.
Margerite spoke about the world of fairies and the different flowers and plants they usually tended, but Anna's memory still didn't return. Anton had managed to trigger a few recollections, as had the scent of the anemones, but Margerite's prattle was getting on Anna's nerves. Had she always been such a chatterbox? A fleeting scrap flashed through Anna's mind, but it was gone so quickly that she couldn't be sure if she'd imagined it.
The fairy's narrative grew increasingly tedious. Now she was talking more about plant lore than the everyday world of fairies, which was why Anna only half-listened. She already knew everything Margerite was saying — whether from working in the garden department of the home improvement store or from before, she couldn't say. Either way, she was tired of following the imposed lesson plan. Her mind wandered and returned to the start of her adventure. What else had she seen when she'd encountered the anemones in the park? Suddenly, she remembered: lots of glitter dust — it must have been fairy dust. And a ship — possibly the pirates? Was that perhaps the moment she'd given the fairy dust to the captain? She had heard a woman screaming and then a terrible feeling had overcome her. The feeling of falling into infinity. What did that mean?
A cuckoo called out and Anna glanced up. Margerite flew up next to her and explained which teas she made from which leaves and flowers and which ailments they helped. Anna was no longer paying attention to the fairy but was still heading in the same direction. Did that mean her subconscious knew the way to the source?
The bushes and trees were becoming sparser, so Anna continued on the path, lost in thought. Would her subconscious help her when she arrived at the source? Would she find a way to get the source flowing? The future of the fairies depended on her, as did, it seemed, that of the magical world. Then a thought occurred to her.
"Tell me, Margerite," she said, interrupting the fairy's monologue, "who benefits from the disorder I brought to the land?"
"Well, the pirates. Prior to that, they were merely the masters of the sea. It's no secret that they have always wanted more. And they've always been after our fairy dust as a source of power. Those dishonorable thugs simply can't be satisfied."
"If they're such brutes, why wasn't something been done about them long ago?"
"Because they too are entitled to a part of this world. They are as much a part of our life cycle as hailstorms and tummy aches."
The comparison revealed more about what the fairy thought of the pirates than a long monologue would have. Still, Anna wondered how powerful the pirates were. "Now, if you have to…travel across the sea to get somewhere, there is no way to fight back?"
"Anyone stupid enough to take that route is attacked and robbed by them and in the worst case, they'll be thrown overboard. Since we were born, Iris has been telling us how dangerous the pirates are and that we should stay away from them and their kingdom."
That definitely sounded worrisome. And because of her misfortune…this was how she chose to refer to it…because of her misfortune, these men had grown stronger. How had the captain talked her into making such a mistake?
"Wait a minute!" Margerite looked at her suspiciously. "How do you know we have to pass under that rosehip bush?"
Anna paused in surprise and looked around. She had been completely lost in her thoughts again, no longer paying attention to her surroundings, let alone the path. She was kneeling on the ground, about to crawl under said bush.
The fairy peered down at her suspiciously. "Are you merely pretending you've forgotten everything?"
"No, I… My subconscious must be guiding me."
"Your subconscious?" Margerite crossed her tiny arms over her chest.
"You have to believe me. I have truly forgotten everything except the bit I told you."
Margerite narrowed her eyes, as if it would help her figure out the truth. Anna crawled out from under the bush and put on what she hoped was a trusting expression.
"Believe me, I am as surprised as you are. Some subconscious part of me seems to remember the way."
"Why didn't you tell me a ways back? I could have returned to Iris and the others hours ago!"
"I thought you wanted to help me. Besides, I wasn't certain if I was going in the right direction and if I would find the source or not."
"Poppycock! Anemone, I'm sorry, but I'm terrified. In the past, I would have gone with you to the source, but times have changed. Iris doesn't trust you and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm going home."
"But you wanted to lead me to the spring so I could save the fairies!"
The fairy's eyes widened. "Why did you say the fairies and not us? So, you still don't count yourself as one of us. You've given me all the reason I need." She turned around, but stopped abruptly. She half-heartedly turned back, her head hanging. "Good luck, Anemone." Then she disappeared between the ferns and bushes so quickly that Anna didn't have the time to talk her out of it.
Forlorn, she examined the strange surroundings. A cuckoo called out again, but nothing else could be heard. Above her, the forest canopy blocked the view of the sky, but it had obviously grown darker. The day was ending. Even though she could understand Margerite, she wished the little fairy hadn't let her down. Wasn't that a bit harsh? Wasn't Anna the one who let everyone down?
She suddenly felt anxious and her breathing became labored. What if she didn't like what she was going to find? What if she had acted foolishly and rashly?
Now she was completely on her own. Maybe that was a good thing. Nobody to influence her and nobody pushing or controlling her. Anna alone would be the one to decide who to believe, where to go, and how to correct her mistake. The main thing was not to give up. Part of her knew the path she needed to take, so she had to trust that bit of memory. She wanted to go to the source. Maybe she would find a clue there as to what had happened back then and how she could stop the fairies from disappearing. And then she would see how to proceed. Trust was the key word, and she held on to it.
She resolutely pushed aside her growing fear and crawled under the bush to see where it would take her. A thorn caught her sweater, but with a yank, Anna was free again and moved on. The bush stretched surprisingly far into the depths. It appeared to be a tunnel of tendrils that she fought her way through on all fours as it grew narrower and lower. She wiggled along on her stomach, pressing herself against the ground just to make some progress in the confined space. Her muscles ached and her hands were scraped up.
"I. Must. Continue. I can't give up!"
Her arms shook from her efforts, but she didn't stop. The tendrils wrapped around her locks and tugged at them.
"Ouch! Let me through, I must save the fairies… I have to save my family."
As if those were the magical words, the branches separated from her hair and the tunnel grew higher and wider. At least now she could move forward on her knees and no longer had to crawl. Nevertheless, it took a while until the battle with the bushes finally ended. Anna crawled out, looked around, and paused in awe.