Chapter 12
Chapter twelve
Changes
Zef
January brought gray clouds and cold rain to the Pentagram. With Bryce’s help, Zef covered their more delicate plants in plastic sheets to protect them from the chill and keep them insulated. They left the evil vines to fend for themselves. Their hair would thank them in the spring.
Their days were spent at work, adjusting to the coming changes of the Greed location’s opening and the influx of new colleagues.
Cya was settling into the day shift, working behind the espresso machine as Gem took over the register.
Oliver spent most of his time in Quin’s office, training for his shift in duties.
Glyma had hired a young Lupyn named Dex who would be starting in two weeks. Zef had briefly met him when Glyma had given him a tour, and he had been eager and friendly.
“Hey, I’m Dex,” he’d announced, waving a large paw. “Like sex but with a D.”
“The best sex usually is,” Gem had whispered to Toni, who’d tried to cover his snort of laughter as a cough.
Dex would be working the front with Cya and Rusty once Gem and Oliver moved to the Greed location, and Glyma wanted to hire another kitchen worker since Toni would be filling in for Quin during her maternity leave.
Zef had heard whispers of Quin taking an official step back from the business completely, which could mean Toni being promoted permanently as manager, but that was still in flux.
Things were changing at the cafe. It was not the first time, of course, but it was strange to be one of the older staff, watching their friends move on or move up while new, younger kids took their places.
Zef had always enjoyed their work, but they had no aspirations to manage a team or a cafe location.
They had taken the job at the cafe because Tad had told them it was a good place to work, the hours were decent, and the pay was enough for them to live comfortably.
And they had made good friendships, so they had stayed. Yet, everything was changing now, and they felt untethered by it all.
Their time at home brought peace. Sitting with Bryce in the living room as they sewed and he studied. Taking turns choosing a documentary to watch together and discussing it after. Reading on opposite ends of the couch, legs drawn up to ensure their feet did not meet in the middle.
Though, had their feet brushed, Zef was unsure if it would have bothered them. They had only known Bryce a few months, but in that time, they had come to think of him as a friend. A good friend.
Their conversations were always stimulating but never felt like a debate, even if they disagreed on some aspects of theology or society.
Bryce’s mind was fascinating, and he was so incredibly smart and talented.
And he was kind and considerate; he honored Zef’s mug system and even started vacuuming in the direction Zef preferred, for no other reason than because he knew they preferred it.
He was… He was just lovely, and Zef was so grateful to know him.
So, no, if their feet ever met in the middle, it would not have upset them.
If anything, they were curious what the pressure of Bryce’s touch would feel like.
More than just a brush of their hair off their shoulder or a playful tug of their braid.
More than a graze of elbows when they were cleaning the kitchen or cooking together.
A real touch. Bryce’s skin on Zef’s. The weight of his fingertips on their arm or their back. They were… curious. Which in of itself was curious.
Usually, they avoided physical contact with most people, even those they considered friends. So to feel comfortable enough with Bryce after only a few months to wonder what it would be like to touch him or, more importantly, to be touched by him was curious indeed.
Perhaps because Bryce was so respectful, so careful to not cross Zef’s boundaries.
After that first day, he never stepped foot into their bedroom.
He never touched them or pushed for physical intimacy the way Denys always had.
He honored Zef’s oddities and idiosyncrasies and never made them feel other.
Zef could be themself with Bryce in a way they had never been able to with anyone else. Except, perhaps, for Tad.
Yes, it was probably all those things and more which led to Zef scrutinizing Bryce’s hands and wondering, wondering, wondering.
They would be warm, seeing as humans ran hotter than Mantodea on a biological level, and they would be calloused, given his line of work.
They were big, too, so they would be weighty.
Though, Bryce was big all over, and he carried himself with softness, gentleness.
Maybe he would touch Zef that way too. Light and careful, to ensure they did not get overwhelmed.
In fact, they knew he would. If Zef ever bridged that gap, communicated their desire for more physical closeness, they knew Bryce would be sweet and kind and caring. He was simply that type of person, after all.
So yes, Zef would wonder. They were not ready to do or to act. So they would contemplate and consider. For now.
As January turned to February, Bryce finalized his plans to return to Montana during the three-week break from his classes in March.
He invited Zef to accompany him, and they were tempted to accept.
They were more than tempted, in fact, but the Greed location was opening in March, and work would be busier than usual as they all acclimated to the change.
They simply could not feel at peace leaving during such a time.
“Maybe next time,” they said, and Bryce nodded his agreement.
“In July, then.” He pointed at Zef’s pocket. “Put it in your calendar, so you won’t forget or back out.”
“I do not think Nan will allow me to back out,” they said playfully, making Bryce laugh.
“That she won’t. She’s gonna guilt-trip you for not coming this time, mark my words.”
And Bryce was right.
“What if I’m dead before July?” Nan scowled at Zef from Bryce’s phone.
“I believe you will survive until then on stubbornness alone,” they retorted as they set the pastry dough over the vegetable pot pie and scored it. “Besides, you told me just yesterday that you are not old. You are simply wise with years.”
“Sass,” she sniffed.
“I know,” Bryce agreed. “I tell people about their sass, and no one believes me.”
“Perks of fading into the background,” Zef said, wings buzzing to communicate jest.
With a huff, Bryce leaned his butt on the counter beside them, phone in one hand as another tucked their hair behind their ear without actually touching them. “You’re not a background character, Zef,” he said earnestly, and the look in his gray eyes made Zef’s stomach tighten.
“It is not a bad thing,” they said softly, “if I were.”
He worked his jaw, his eyebrows expressing fiercely, but Zef was more proficient in interpreting them now. Bryce was annoyed by Zef’s self-dismissal, but he did not argue their claim.
Instead, he said, “Well, when I walk into a room, you’re the first person I see.”
And… oh. That hurt, but it was not a bad hurt. They ached somewhere deep in their chest where they had never ached before. Because it was so big, so warm, so entirely, wonderfully much that the only way to interpret the feeling was pain.
How strange life was.
“I see you too,” Zef said before they could second guess themself, and ancestors above, how Bryce smiled.
“Well, I can’t see either of you because Bryce has his phone tucked into his armpit,” Nan’s muffled voice grumbled, making them both startle at the reminder of her digital presence amongst them.
“Crap, sorry, Nan,” Bryce said, breaking the intensity vibrating in the air between them.
Exhaling slowly, Zef slipped the pot pie into the oven to bake as Bryce disappeared into his bedroom, Nan griping the whole way.
The first Friday of March, Zef and Bryce rode the early train together to Purgatory, Zef heading to work, Bryce on his way to Chicago to catch his flight home. His backpack was full to bursting, and his leg bounced with what Zef interpreted as excitement.
“You have missed them very much, yes?” they asked as the train pulled into Purgatory station.
“Honestly, yes. I missed them a lot more than I thought I would,” he admitted. “I can’t wait to get home and see them.”
“They will be happy to see you too.”
As they crossed the station, they came to a stop in the middle of the largest room. Zef’s exit into the desert was to their right. Bryce’s train to Chicago was straight ahead down a busy corridor.
“The house will be very quiet without you,” Zef said as Bryce hiked his backpack higher.
“Come on, I ain’t that loud.”
“No, you are not. You are a very conscientious and satisfactory roommate,” they said, self-aware enough to realize how awkward that sounded.
Bryce chuckled. “Satisfactory? Wow. Don’t get carried away with the flattery.”
Heat licked at their cheeks as they crossed their arms over their torso. “That is not what I meant to say. You are a very good roommate. The best roommate. I am so happy that you live with me and that we are friends.”
His teasing grin softened to one more genuine as he said. “I’m gonna miss you too, Zef.”
Shifting their weight uncomfortably, they scoffed. “Now who is getting carried away?”
“Sass.” Bryce reached out and flicked their left antenna gently, and they released a chiding clicking sound in the back of their throat. “We can video chat whenever you want, and if you’re lucky, the ewes will lamb while I’m there.”
“I would very much like to see,” they said as the speakers crackled to life, announcing the next departure to Chicago.
“I’ll send you videos,” he promised.
“Safe travels, and please, let me know when you arrive safely.”
As he backed away, Bryce nodded. “I will.”
“Goodbye, Bryce,” Zef said, fingers fidgeting with the desire to do… something. To reach out and touch his wrist or brush their knuckles over his. A small gesture to communicate that they would, in fact, miss him.