Chapter 17
Chapter seventeen
Romantic-Styles
Zef
Back to the headboard, Zef sat in the middle of their bed with their knees pressed to their chest, all four arms cinched tightly around their legs.
They stared blankly at their desk at the end of their bed, thinking.
Well, they were attempting to think, but it was difficult when the only thing ricocheting around their skull was Bryce’s voice saying, “I like you. I like you. I like you.”
Which was… Well, it was ridiculous, is what it was.
Fully, stupidly ridiculous. The human was clearly confused.
He did not like them; he could not like them.
Because no one liked them. They were odd and strange and awkward and high-maintenance and inflexible, and it did not make sense for Bryce to like them.
“Then why did he say he did?” their brain whispered.
That was the crux of it, was it not? Bryce had promised to be honest and transparent, to ensure Zef knew what he was thinking. As far as they knew, he had never lied to them before, so why would he say something so outlandish if he did not mean it?
But if he did mean it, then that opened a whole other avenue of panicked thoughts and feelings Zef could not interpret. Their stomach was tied in knots, and their chest felt tight, like they were coming down with the flu. Tingles skittered over the back of their neck, and their palms were sweaty.
Burying their top hands in their hair, they squeezed their eyes shut and released a trill of frustration. Why had Bryce said it? Why could he have not kept it to himself? Because now everything would change, and Zef had been so happy with how things were.
They liked having Bryce as a roommate, and they very much liked having him as a friend. A close friend. But that was all they were supposed to be to each other. Once feelings were involved, everything became complicated and messy and unpredictable.
And with feelings came other things, like touching and hugging and… kissing? Zef had never done any of those things. They had never wanted to do any of those things. But Bryce would want that, would he not?
For a moment, they imagined Bryce’s big arms circling their waist, his body heat surrounding them as their chests pressed together, his chin on their shoulder, sighing into the embrace, and a wave of full-body tingles rushed over them.
They swallowed to wet their suddenly dry throat as their stomach jolted.
Ancestors above, what did that mean?
It was not bad. It did not hurt. If they were being very honest with themself, they could even go so far as to say that they did not dislike the feeling. But was the absence of dislike enough to mean they did like it?
With a huff, they pulled out their phone, intent on asking the internet for clarification, but they stopped themself before they finished typing into the search bar. They did not want another porn incident; they would not survive seeing the culmination of Gem and Rusty’s cow-themed fantasy.
Instead of asking the internet for help, they went to the next best thing.
“Oi, keep him quiet for a second, I’m on the phone,” Tad said, sounding muffled and far away on the other end of the phone line before her voice came through clearer. “Zef? What’re you doing calling so late?”
“I am having a crisis, Tadora. A dire crisis,” they said fervently.
“You stuck in the vines again?” Tad asked.
“No.”
“Your wifi go out?”
“No!” they said indignantly.
“Is it a code red crisis or, like, a code yellow? Because, not gonna lie, I’m a bit caught up in something at the moment,” she said, and under normal circumstances, Zef would not have pushed.
But these were not normal circumstances.
They were extenuating circumstances. In fact, circumstances had never extenuated this much before in their life, and the fact Tad did not appreciate this made their wings hum in annoyance.
“It is most certainly a code red!” they insisted, and the Anura grunted.
“Okay. Give me a second.” Speaking to someone else, she shouted, “I gotta take this. What? It’s not like he’s going anywhere. Just keep him quiet!”
Curious, Zef strained their hearing in hopes of picking up the other side of the conversation, but whoever Tad was speaking to—or about—was too far away. In the end, they folded the pleats in their skirt one way, then the other as they waited for Tad to address them.
The sound of a door clanging preceded Tad’s voice. “Okay, I’m here. What’s the crisis?”
Well, now that they had her undivided attention, they were unsure where to start. So they went with the obvious basis for their current state of anxiety.
“You know Bryce?”
“The human who’s been living with you for the last seven months? Yeah, I’ve heard of him,” she said dryly.
“Yes, that is the Bryce I mean. Well, it appears I have unknowingly and unwittingly seduced him against my will. Was it the capris I wore last week? They showed my ankles, but I wanted to be adventurous and try something new. I see now I should not have risked it. I will dispose of them immediately.” The line was silent so long Zef checked the screen to make sure they had not been disconnected. “Are you still there?”
“You called me about capris?”
“No, I called about Bryce because he likes me,” they said mournfully.
“Like… romantic-styles?”
Zef nodded even though she could not see them. “Yes, romantic-styles. At least, I believe so. He did not specify, but it was heavily implied. He”—they almost did not admit it aloud; it was so scandalous, but they knew Tad would not judge them—“touched my mouth with his thumb.”
“Kinky,” she purred. “Did you suck on it?”
They literally gagged, making the Anura laugh.
“I’m just fucking with you, Zef. Calm down,” she said around her chuckles. “So, he likes you. And?”
“And? What do you mean, and? That is the all of it.” Seriously, why was she not understanding the severity of the situation? It was like she was purposefully being obtuse. “Bryce likes me!”
“Yeah, I knew that ages ago.”
They gasped in betrayal. “You did? Why did you not tell me?”
“Would you have believed me if I had?” she asked, and Zef faltered.
“Well, probably not, but that is not the point.”
“Figured you’d only believe it if it actually came from him. And I was right, like I always am.”
They could picture her crossing her arms smugly over her chest, and they scowled. “Be that as it may, what am I supposed to do now?”
“Do you have to do something?”
“Do I not?”
She released a noncommittal humming noise. “You don’t got to do anything you don’t want. He can feel however he wants, but that’s not on you.”
Surprisingly, that brought some relief. “I suppose, but I cannot ignore it.”
“What did you say when he told you?”
They winced. “I may have ran away and hid in my room.”
Tad sighed. “That tracks.”
“He looked very sad,” they admitted, remembering the crestfallen expression on Bryce’s face, the way he begged for Zef not to walk away. “I feel bad about that, but I was… upset and frightened.”
Tone chilling, she asked, “Did he hurt you, Zef? Did he try anything? ’Cause I will fuck him up if he put a hand on you.”
Technically, he had grabbed Zef’s wrist, but that was not what Tad meant. “No, he would never do that. He is kind and gentle, and he has always respected my boundaries. I was, perhaps, overreacting.”
“Maybe, but it’s okay if you needed time to process, especially if he was over there just putting his thumb in your mouth like a freak.”
Actually, the touch had not been entirely unpleasant. Surprising, yes, and perhaps unbalancing. But not bad.
“He put it on my mouth, not in it,” they corrected, because that difference felt important.
“Whatever,” Tad dismissed. “Listen, he likes you, and that’s that. What matters most is do you like him?”
And honestly, they had yet to even consider that part. “I do not know.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to know. You can take time to think about it until you do know,” she said, and again, her words brought relief.
“But how am I supposed to know? I have never liked anyone romantic-styles.”
She snorted. “I’m not the person to ask about that gooey shit. But you could always fuck him and see if that makes a difference.”
“Absolutely out of the question!” They balked in affront at the mere insinuation. “I am offended you would even suggest such a thing.”
“Hey, you called me for help, and I’m doing my best here,” she snapped. “I don’t know about gross lovey stuff, but do you like it when he’s around?”
They barely had to think about it before they answered, “Yes.”
“Do you like looking at him?”
“Yes,” they said again. “He is very aesthetically pleasing.”
“Do you want to, like, kiss him and stuff?”
Antennas curling up quickly, they scrunched their face. “I… do not know. I have never considered kissing anyone before.”
“That’s okay. You don’t ever have to kiss anyone, even if you do like them,” Tad said. “Do you wanna hold his hand?”
They had touched his hand before, and it had been big and warm and nice. “I think so. He has lovely hands.”
“That’s something. And do you like talking to him and hanging out with him and doing stuff with him?”
“Yes, I like all those things,” they said.
They heard the smile in Tad’s voice as she asked, “What else do you like about him?”
Oh, that was easy to answer. Zef liked so many things about him.
“I like his curiosity and eagerness to learn and experience new things.
He is very smart and kind and helpful, and he listens when I talk about subjects that usually bore other people.
And he makes me tea without me having to ask him, and he always makes sure there is enough coffee for me in the morning, just in case I want some, even though I usually do not.