Chapter 17 #3
“No, do not apologize. You need not apologize.” They stepped forward, all four hands clasped tightly in front of their torso.
“What you said was lovely, and it was I who did not respond appropriately. Because I have never been in this situation before, and I do not know what to do. Because I do not want to hurt you and lose your friendship, which I hold very dear.”
“Zef—” Bryce tried, but they held up a hand, and he quieted.
“If you would allow me, I have things to say to you, and it will be easier for me if I am not interrupted.” They waited until he nodded his agreement.
“Thank you. Firstly, I will respond to your lovely sentiment the way I should have nine hours ago. Thank you, Bryce, for telling me how you feel. Thank you for being vulnerable and honest with me. I am so grateful and honored that you trust me enough to be so open, and of course, that you find me worthy of your affections.”
He parted his lips but closed them just as quickly. Shifting in the doorway, he leaned on the door jamb and rested his temple on the wood, watching Zef with wide, glassy eyes.
“It is my understanding that your feelings are romantic in nature, but I would like to verify before I continue. Do you like me romantic-styles?” they asked, and Bryce chuffed a laugh, sweeter this time.
“Yeah, Zef, I like you romantic-styles.”
And oh, oh, oh, that made them feel things. Tingly and prickly and shivery and twisty. It was overwhelming, and they simultaneously wanted to flee from it and embrace it all at once.
“Thank you,” they whispered, and his temporary amusement dimmed, even as he nodded.
“You’re welcome.”
“I understand the desired response to that beautiful offering would be an admission of reciprocation,” they said cautiously, and Bryce stiffened, like he was already preparing for rejection.
They had to choose their words carefully now.
“I cannot, in good conscience, give that to you fully, because I do not know if I feel the same way. Not because I do not care for you. I do, most ardently.”
They took another step forward, and they could feel his body heat radiating in the space between them.
“You are so kind and smart and passionate.
You have always treated me with respect and patience and understanding, and I admire the way you see and interact with the world.
I enjoy our conversations and common interests, and I like watching documentaries with you and cooking with you and sitting on the couch with you while we read.
“I like that when you look at me, I feel like the only person in the universe. I like that, when you walk into a room, I am the first person you see,” they admitted, their chin trembling as emotion swelled in their throat.
“And I like that you like me. I feel it. Here.” They pressed two hands to their chest. “And it is warm and wonderful. And I feel it here.” They pressed their other two hands to their stomach.
“And it is twisty and scary, but it is not bad.”
A lone tear spilled out of Bryce’s eye and tracked down his cheek, and Zef’s breath hitched.
“And I do not know what all that means just yet. But I…” They swallowed again and took another step forward, until Bryce’s crossed arms were mere inches away from their chest. “But I would like to find out. If you are agreeable.”
Bryce smiled then, and oh, it was so lovely it made them ache. Pain that was not pain. It was simply too good to not hurt.
“Zef,” he said so very fondly, and Zef smiled back, clicking hopefully in the back of their throat.
Slowly, tentatively, he uncrossed his arms and reached out with one hand to hover near their face. He did not close the final distance, though. He waited, palm so close the heat of him prickled against their cheek.
With the same amount of careful hesitation, Zef leaned in until their cheek molded to his palm.
It was the most intimate touch they had shared, and they trembled with nerves.
His thumb brushed over their cheekbone and the corner of their eye, collecting the moisture accumulated there, and they trilled in pleasure.
“I want to hug you,” he said, and they stiffened but did not pull away.
“I do not think I am ready for that,” they confessed, and Bryce nodded with another swipe to their cheek.
“That’s okay.”
They grimaced. “Is it?”
“Yeah, Zef, it is. We got time, darlin’.”
Shuddering, they blanketed the back of his hand to press his palm harder to their cheek as something deep within them shifted.
Like tectonic plates under the earth realigning, it shook them to their core.
It was strange and even uncomfortable because change, however small, was never easy.
But when the pieces finally slotted into place in a new configuration, it brought relief, and they sighed.
“I do not know what this means or how to do this,” they whispered. “I ask that you be patient with me.”
“I can do that,” he said, and it tasted like a promise. “There ain’t a formula for this type of thing, you know? We decide what it means and how to do it. You’re not navigating this alone. I’m right here with you, and we can figure it out together.”
They nodded. “Yes. Okay. Together.”
“But maybe we can talk more later. You know, at a decent time to be awake,” he said teasingly, and Zef smiled, nodding again.
“Yes, of course. I apologize for waking you at such a late hour.”
“That’s okay. It ended up being worth it,” he said with a wink, and Zef huffed good-naturedly.
They nuzzled briefly into his palm before they stepped back, disconnecting them. His hand fell away, lowering to his side, and they stared at each other for an indeterminable amount of time.
Then Bryce said, “Get some sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
“Yes,” Zef agreed, taking another step back. “Goodnight, Bryce.”
“Goodnight.”
Another step.
“Sleep well,” they said, and Bryce propped his shoulder on the door jamb with another one of those boyish, crooked smiles.
“You too.”
Another step, and they bumped into the wall. They yelped in surprise but caught themself before they fell over. “There is a wall here.”
“Yup. It’s been there since I moved in,” he said, and that smile was unfairly flustering now.
“I seem to have forgotten,” they said as they side-stepped down the hall, lower hands on the wall to ensure they did not run into it again.
Bryce propped a hand on his hip, looking far too smug as he said, “I can see that.”
“Do not look so pleased with yourself,” they scolded, and gods, that grin sharpened.
“Why? I quite like seeing you this way.”
With an embarrassing chirp, Zef balked, wings buzzing in agitation. “That is—you can not—entirely inappropriate,” they stammered as they backed out of the hallway.
“Goodnight, Zef,” Bryce said, and another full-body wave of tingles rushed over them. Two innocent words, but it was the way he said them. Heavy and crooning.
They narrowed their eyes suspiciously. “Are you attempting to woo me?”
With a laugh, he shook his head and stepped into his room, only his head and one hand visible around the frame. “Not yet.”
“Your audacity is astounding,” they sniffed haughtily, and he absolutely beamed at them.
“You’re cute when you blush,” he said before he ducked into this room and shut the door.
They gasped in outrage, nearly stamping their foot like a hatchling as they said, “And you are a complete scoundrel. Go back to bed immediately and take your philandering with you.”
The only response they received was the echo of his laugh, and gods, if it did not fill their chest to bursting.