ESSA
Iwas training with my sword in one of Charcain’s many courtyards when Auntie found me.
It was one of those autumn days when the sun burns hot, but the air holds a chill, and I was enjoying the feeling of sweat running down my skin, working until my sword arm ached and trembled.
For the briefest of moments, my exertion chased all other worries out of my mind.
There was only the song of my sword slicing through the air, the hiss of my breath between my teeth, and the pounding of my heart.
I threw myself into the practice, grunting with each slice of my blade.
“Keep your elbow up on that third-position parry,” Auntie’s voice echoed across the courtyard.
I stopped and turned to her, and for just the briefest of moments, I could have been fifteen again, training under her tutelage.
Dreaming of boys—Braimar... Sneaking out of the palace to hang out at the inn with Clua…
Playing Torzame with Ollie until late into the night…
How everything had changed…
Auntie smiled as she approached. “I got it.” She opened her palm, and I saw a glass vial filled with dark purple liquid. Scorper venom.
I glanced around to make sure no one was watching and snatched the vial from her hand.
“How?” I whispered.
“I just asked Romia. She was best friends with Laynine, remember? She and the others trust me.” Auntie glanced over her shoulder, her voice lowering. “Are you ready for the first dose? Time is short…”
In my chambers, Auntie heated a kettle over the fire. Then, she poured the water into cups and added what looked like tree bark and some sort of powder.
“The koyah bark will ease the nausea. The chodoyu root powder will make the scorper venom less deadly while still allowing our bodies to build up immunity to it.”
“Where did you learn all this?” I asked.
Auntie gave a distant smile as she stirred the tea.
“From my own aunt—my durram. She was very well-versed in potions. Some even called her a witch, though never to her face. I’m sorry I didn’t pass much of the knowledge on to you, but I felt it was more important to develop your…” She glanced at the stub of my missing arm. “Physical prowess.”
She turned to me, a cup in each hand. I hesitated for only an instant, then took one. I nodded toward the other cup.
“You don’t have to do this, too,” I said.
“No, I do,” Auntie replied. “It would be suspicious if you only had Kortoi at your bydrune toast, especially since you’ve already been seen spending time with me. And Kortoi is a very astute person. If we expect to ensnare him, everything will have to be perfect.”
I hated to put Auntie through the process of making herself immune to the scorper venom—but I couldn’t argue with her logic.
“So… cheers,” she finished, and clinked her cup against mine.
“To your health,” I said—ironic given that we were about to drink poison. I swallowed the draught in a few gulps.
I expected it to taste terrible—until I remembered scorper venom had no flavor or scent. And the other ingredients gave tinges of cinnamon and nutmeg. It wasn’t bad at all—until the first stomach cramp hit. It was so bad it nearly doubled me over and left me out of breath.
“Gods. That’s bad,” I huffed.
Auntie had taken a seat in a chair. Her face was white as parchment and beads of sweat stood out on her forehead.
“Yeah,” she grunted. “It’s… ugh.”
She winced, gripping the arm of the chair.
We remained together like that for an hour or so, suffering too much to read or play Torzame or even chat. But after that, the worst of the cramping seemed to pass.
Auntie stood, straightening her skirt.
“Well,” she said. “That was pleasant. And we get to do it again tomorrow. And every day until the bydrune.”
“Can’t wait,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Will I see you at dinner?”
“Not unless you’d like to see my stomach turn inside out,” I said.
Auntie gave a wan laugh. “Very well. I’ll go and pass your apologies along to the court. You can send Maryn to the kitchen for something if you’re hungry later.”
“Not likely,” I said.
She turned to go.
“Auntie,” I said, and she turned back to me. I put out my hand. “The venom?”
She hesitated. “Why? Don’t you trust me to bring it back?”
“Of course I trust you,” I said. “But… it’s safest to keep it here, don’t you think? No point in transporting it around the castle where it could get lost.”
She still hesitated.
“You trust me, don’t you?” I said, half-teasing. But I studied her as she faltered, then responded, taking the vial of venom from her pocket.
“Of course I trust you, Essa. You’re all I have in this place,” she met my gaze and held it. “And I’m all you have. Remember that.”
She placed the vial in my hand, then turned and left.
When she was gone, I went to my vanity table and took out my jar of skin cream.
I put in a drop of scorper venom, then thought better of it and added five more drops.
I mixed the dark droplets in with the blade of my dagger until they disappeared.
Then, I stripped off my leathers and watched myself in the mirror as I rubbed the lotion into my body.
Drinking the poison, I’d felt its effects almost instantly.
Soaking into my skin, it took longer. But when it hit, it brought with it a terrible feeling of vertigo, nausea, and burning where I’d rubbed the lotion into my belly and legs.
It was so bad, I could do nothing but fall into my bed and lie there, feeling too horrible to move or eat or even think.
I just lay there, cursing myself, my life, my ancestor Opheema, and everyone else I could think of.
I wondered if I was going to die—half hoping I would—until at last, mercifully, sleep took me.
I slept until the next morning, when Maryn woke me with a hand on my shoulder and whispered that I had a caller.
“He’s waiting in your sitting room, Your Majesty.”
So, Ollie has finally decided to grace me with a visit, I thought. He’d certainly taken long enough, and I intended to tell him about it.
The world spun when I sat up, but with Maryn’s help, I managed to quickly dress and brush out my hair.
I sent her for breakfast, then stood staring at the jar of poisoned lotion in my hand.
I still felt terrible from the last time I’d used it, and truly the last thing in the world I wanted to do was apply more.
But the bydrune was coming soon, and I’d have to make use of every day to build my immunity. There could be no days off.
And so, I slathered the poison in my chest, then laced my dress up again, wincing at the potion’s subtle sting upon my skin. I washed my hands in the basin, thinking that I’d probably kept Ollie waiting long enough.
“Well, I’ve been wondering when you’d—” I started to say as I stepped into the sitting room, but my words halted when I saw who was sitting next to the hearth.
It was Braimar.
He stood and bowed, flashing a hint of a smile as he did. “Not who you were expecting, Your Majesty?”
I glowered at him. “What do you want?”
“Only to serve you,” he said. “Little—”
I put up my hand, stopping him. “If you call me a nickname, you’re a dead man.”
He smiled. “Fair enough. But there are precious few Skrathan remaining, Essa. Even fewer here in Charcain. And fewer still who you can trust.”
I put a hand on my hip. “Oh, and I can trust you?”
“Yes,” he said simply.
I snorted. “I do find myself tragically short on allies. Even so, I’d jump into the fires of Kayumal before I asked you for help.”
“You don’t need to ask. Remember the other night at the Hatchery—I came to your aid, unbidden.”
“And if I ever catch you following me again, I’ll cut off your stones and make you a Torouman.”
He gave a low laugh. “You always have been a tough one, Essa. I think you’ll make an amazing queen—if we can just get you through this difficult time.”
“We?” I scoffed. “There is no we.”
“There was a we once,” he said, taking a step closer to me. “I asked you to run away with me, remember? Before the attack came. Before your mother died. I think about it, sometimes. We could be living together in some far-off village. Husband and wife. Happy.”
“You assume much,” I said coldly.
“What? You don’t think you could have been happy with me?” he asked. His smile turned, and I was surprised to detect a hint of hurt in his voice.
“I love another,” I said.
He nodded slowly. “The foreigner, yes. But he’s dead—or so the rumor goes.
And the bydrune approaches… You know, I am of noble blood.
I will be among the participants. I must confess, the idea of being…
with you… again fills me with longing. But the thought of sharing you…
” His jaw clenched, a fire rising in his eyes.
Tension filled my body, and with it, dizziness roiled over me. I should never have applied the lotion again before eating breakfast…
I tried to take a step toward the fireplace, hoping to grab the mantle and steady myself—too late. I was falling. And the next thing I knew, Braimar’s arms were around me, his face close to mine. Slowly, he lowered me into a chair. With a gentle hand, he brushed a strand of hair from my face.
“What is this?” a familiar voice demanded, and I looked up to see Ollie standing in the doorway, one hand on the hilt of his sword. Maryn was a step behind him, returning with a breakfast tray. Both looked horrified.
“She fainted. I caught her,” Braimar said.
Ollie gave a bitter laugh. “I’m sure.”
“Ask her yourself,” he said, straightening up and gesturing to me. But I was suddenly too nauseated to speak.
“Gods, she looks pale,” Ollie said, hurrying to my side and kneeling to examine me. “Essa…? Why didn’t you tell me she was sick?” he barked at Maryn. “Here. Help me get her into bed.”