Chapter 16
Noah
It felt like Groundhog’s Day . Another day, another ridiculous date with a stranger.
Only this time I’d had to dress up—like a fucking kid going to pick his date up for prom.
I was just guessing there. I didn’t actually go to prom. Seemed like a waste of money since I didn’t have a steady girl. So instead, Xander and I had snuck into a seedy bar and listened to a shitty band and felt like heroes. Mostly because we were drinking underage in public, but also because we totally played better than those assholes.
The car slowed and stopped for a light, shoving me back into the present when I almost slid off the seat. Harper had insisted on a limo. Again. I wanted to drive myself—especially since last time my date took off and left me without the ride I’d paid for—but apparently, I was a stupid man who didn’t get it. Or at least that was what Ella told me. She also muttered something about being able to afford ten limos, like that was the point.
I craned my neck to look out the window behind us, where she followed the limo in her sporty Jeep Wrangler.
Because like last time, this wasn’t really a date. It was another promo opportunity. I was kinda sorta whoring myself out for the band. Again.
I sat back in my seat with a groan.
My heart thudded unevenly in my chest and my breath came faster and faster. God, I felt so stupid. I don’t know why we were all pretending this was the thing that was going to fix me.
Some things were irretrievably broken.
When my hands started shaking, I knew I had to do something.
Strong emotions were a trigger. They’d make me reach for alcohol or my drug of choice to either prolong or suppress whatever I was feeling.
And god, did I ever want to suppress shit right now.
But I did the responsible thing—I reached for my cell and called my sponsor.
I couldn’t remember where in the world he was at the moment. There was a good chance he was already asleep.
But he answered on the third ring. “Hey, man. How you doing?”
“Not great, Mal.” I pinched the bridge of my nose like that would make the feelings go away.
My phone buzzed; Mal wanted to switch our call to a video call. I hit the accept button with a sigh.
“What’s going on?” Mal asked with a frown. His long brown hair was undone and all spread out on a pillow. It looked from the background that he was in a hotel room somewhere. But it was too dark to make out much.
I groaned. “I’m going on another Win-A-Date date. You know, since last time went so brilliantly. We’re enroute to pick her up.”
“And you feel like you need a hit?”
I shrugged. “I’m feeling a whole lot of shit. Anxious. Stupid. Mostly worried I’m going to look like a fool to her and everyone on the web. Again.”
“Okay…let’s talk through the hit. You find a shady place to buy, and what happens next?”
“I feel relaxed. Euphoric. Got nothing worrying me anymore.”
“And then?”
“And then I chase that feeling for days. Weeks. I spiral.” I grimaced and rubbed my temples. “If I don’t overdose again, eventually I’ll act like a drugged-out weirdo. Someone notices, and it ends up on the Babbler and then all over the media. I lose my band’s respect. I lose my fans’ respect. I lose your respect.”
I didn’t mention my family’s respect since I don’t think I’d ever earn that back.
“And you lose your sobriety. You’ve got over a year now, Noah. That’s not nothing. It’s a huge accomplishment. You’ve been through worse than this. You toured Europe and didn’t use. You moved to the fucking party capital of the U.S. and didn’t use. You started a Vegas residency and didn’t use. If you can get through all that in your first year, you can do any-fucking-thing. You’ve got this.”
I smiled slightly as a sense of accomplishment and peace swamped me. I don’t know why, but hearing what I already knew from someone I hugely respected—who’d been here before—made it seem doable.
I had this.
“And for the record, you wouldn’t lose my respect.” Mal sighed. “We all fall down and make mistakes, man. So if you do use, you can talk to me about it. We’ll get through it together.”
“Thanks, Mal. That means a lot. But I don’t think I’ll be making that call tonight. You’re right; I got this.”
“So tell me about this girl. Did you at least have some input in picking this one this time?”
I laughed and filled him in on the whole application vetting process. And before I knew it, we’d pulled up to a large apartment complex. “Hey, we’re here, so I should go.”
“You going to be all right?”
“Yeah, man. You’re right; I got this.”
“Good. I got no doubts. But the minute that date is over, get your ass to a meeting.”
“Will do. And thanks again.”
“Hey, it’s what I get paid the big bucks for.”
I shook my head. He wasn’t getting paid jack. “Talk to you later, Mal.”
“Have fun on your date. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Always.” I ended the call and climbed out the back of the car before the driver could come around and do his whole song and dance.
The nerves came back as the Vegas heat hit me in the face. But it wasn’t as bad as before. I could do this. I got this.
Ella bounced over with a grin. “Let’s get a few shots of you in front of the limo.”
“Won’t that mean leaking Kylie’s location?” I was just trying to get out of posing for pictures in front of all the looky-loos. We were already drawing a crowd as a few people came out of their apartments to gawk at the limo. And I hadn’t even picked up my date yet. Yay.
“Oooh. Good point.” Ella let her camera fall back to her side. “We’ll take pictures when we get to the Oasis instead. And more inside the restaurant.”
I was sure my smile looked more like a grimace, but I still nodded. I knew my marching orders. Actually… “What’s her apartment number again?”
Ella rolled her eyes and rattled it off.
“And which building is that?” I looked at all the identical looking gray-blue-white painted stucco boxes around us.
“This one.” Ella’s tone grew exasperated. “The one we’re parked in front of.”
“Right.” I gulped. “I’ll just go get my date then.”
“Go get her, tiger.” Ella grinned before jumping back into her Jeep.
I huffed, pulled at my sweaty collar, and headed for the door Ella had pointed out. I don’t know why I thought I should wear a coat. Between my nerves and the Vegas heat, I was a swampy mess.
Reaching Kylie’s door—I hoped—I rang the bell and stood back so the doorbell camera could capture me.
“Hello?” A woman’s voice came through.
Shit, I couldn’t remember her last name. “Is this Kylie’s apartment?”
“Noah?” she squealed.
“Uh, yeah.”
“I’ll be right there!”
I could hear the exclamation point in her voice. It was a little disconcerting. I hadn’t been an exclamation point kinda guy in a long time.
When the door opened, I about swallowed my tongue. “Kylie?”
The blonde woman standing in front of me nodded.
I nodded dazedly back. She’d poured her athletic frame into a tight, red dress with tiny straps at the shoulders and almost no coverage over her very round tits. If she bent over, I bet one of those babies would pop right out. And when she turned to close her door behind her, her dress sparkled in the late Vegas evening light.
“Uh, you look amazing.” I thrusted out the bouquet of roses I’d been clutching this whole time. “These are for you.”
She smiled as she accepted them. “Thank you. They’re lovely.”
“And match your dress,” I replied stupidly.
She laughed like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.
Oh.
Tonight was going to be like that .
I sighed and put my game face on. “You ready for your date with a rock star?”
She nodded eagerly.
“Well, all right.” I clasped her hand in mine and led the way back to the limo.
Our driver stood next to the open rear door with an impassive expression. I nodded to him then helped Kylie into the car. The driver lifted his brows at me. I shook my head and headed around the back of the car to the other rear door. I wasn’t going to make Kylie scoot over for me.
Only when I opened that door, Kylie was sitting close by.
“Oops. Sorry.” She giggled. “I thought you were getting in the same side.”
Something about her giggle just pierced my ear wrong. I fought to keep my grimace from showing. “No problem. You mind scooting over a little?”
“Oh. Right.”
When I finally settled into the seat, I heard her give a shaky sigh and felt bad. Maybe I wasn’t giving her a chance. Everyone sounded a little high-strung when they were nervous. Well, except for Alice. I was pretty sure she led with her jaw and narrowed eyes when she was nervous. When she first started on tour with us, she’d earned a rep as a tough, don’t-fuck-with-her chick.
Pretty much the opposite of the delicate looking woman sitting next to me.
“So have you been to the Palms restaurant before?” I asked.
“Oh. Is that where we’re going?” Her nose wrinkled like I’d offered to take her to Mickey D’s.
“Is that a problem?”
She sighed dramatically. “My last boyfriend just took me there a lot. He was in tight with the chef.”
She waved a hand like everyone knew Johnathan Wagner, a Michelin-starred chef.
I was sure I was supposed to ask her who her ex was, but I wasn’t playing that game. “Ah well, since our residency is at the Oasis, the production company prefers the date happens at one of their restaurants. But we can always choose a different one if you want. I hear their Citadel restaurant is interesting if you’re feeling adventurous.”
The Citadel was known for unique dishes—Balut eggs and durian were on their menu.
“Oh. Ah. I suppose the Palms is okay.” She said it like it was a torturous decision.
“Are you sure? We really can go somewhere else. Maybe do drinks at the Oasis and then find a different, more suitable restaurant. We just have to take some pictures inside the Oasis.”
“Pictures?” Kylie perked up like that time I’d offered my niece chocolate. My sister had a vendetta against sugar. Poor kids.
I sighed. “The band’s social media manager is going to take pictures and post a little thing about the date. I was told you signed a release.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t realize it was going to be a thing .” She dug through her tiny clutch and pulled out a tiny mirror and pouted into it. “I need to fix my face before we get there.”
As far as I could see, there was nothing wrong with her face, but what did I know?
I settled back into my seat.
This was going to be a long night.
* * *
I was right. Two hours felt like two years.
Kylie had managed to namedrop reality stars and athletes into the conversation like she earned an endorsement for every name she used. By the time our deserts came, I was ready to pull my hair out. This night couldn’t end fast enough.
“This was so lovely. What’s next?”
“Next?” I repeated weakly. Next, I wanted to drive her straight back to her house and leave her at the curb.
“Right, next . A date isn’t just dinner.” She scoffed like I was an ignorant ass.
And maybe I was because I’d put zero thought into what was next. “Uh…” And then it came to me. “Do you like live music? My friend is playing a show at a bar off-Strip.”
“Off-Strip?” she repeated like I’d asked her to tiptoe through a garbage dump.
And then it hit me.
This was exactly what I’d done last time. Although unlike last time, the guys wouldn’t be there to charm my date. That was all up to me, and the way things were going, I wasn’t in the mood to be charming. Maybe the music would drown out all speaking opportunities.
So I pressed on. “Yeah. They’re good. I think you’d like them.”
“Okay. I guess if we start dating, I should get used to hearing live music.”
Get used to? “I thought you were a fan. At least that’s how your application sounded…”
“Oh, I am.” She perked up and blinked exaggeratedly. “I just don’t like going to live shows as much. The music is so loud, and everyone’s yelling.”
Exactly why I wanted to go. Well, that and to support our girls. They were pretty awesome.
“Sounds like a date. If you’re ready.” I gestured to leave.
She gave an innocent little shrug and shifted to stand.
I didn’t even look over to watch what her shrug did to her top. A boob could spill out, and I wouldn’t even notice at this point.
Okay, I’d probably look. I was a man after all.
But I didn’t do my usual date move and put my hand on the small of her back. I didn’t take her hand. I tried to say everything with my body language that it was too early to say with my mouth. Mainly that I wasn’t into her and couldn’t wait for this night to be over.
But at least I would get to watch Alice play again. There was a small silver lining. Razor thin, but it was there.
When we reached the Brickhouse, the band was already onstage and rocking out.
I didn’t have to touch Kylie as I guided her to the bar. “What do you want?” I yelled next to her ear.
“A lemon drop martini!” she shouted back.
I nodded and yelled our order at the bartender. A few minutes later we wound through the heaving bar and managed to snag a sticky table at the back.
Kylie’s expression clearly spelled her disgust. I shrugged. I couldn’t do anything about the table. I didn’t work here.
And a second later, my eyes were glued to the stage as Alice laid down the beat for Taylor Swift’s ‘ ME! ’. My hands twitched. I loved the drums in this song—the cadence had a crispness that was so fucking sharp. I wanted to do something similar on our next album. It was so fucking appealing and addictive.
Before I knew it, my hands were drumming on the edge of our little sticky table. And when Alice finished the song with a crisp drumline cadence—a departure from the original version—I grinned like a proud parent.
God, she looked awesome up there. And judging by the huge smile on her face as they flowed into their original song ‘ Lost Boys ’, she loved being onstage so much.
At the end of their song, Lark took the mic. “All right, Brickhouse! Who’s thirsty?”
The crowd cheered.
“Us too.” Lark laughed. “So, we’re going to take a little break.”
A few boos rang out.
But Lark just laughed. “Nice to know you’re going to miss us. We’ll be back in fifteen with more awesome music. And if you’re feeling brave, Bailey loves tequila and is looking for a new man.”
“I’m going to kill you.” Bailey laughed into her mic.
Lark grinned back at her. “So come over and buy her drink. If she’s too happy to commit murder, that’d be awesome for me.”
As they left the stage, I grinned and shook my head. Lark was going to pay for that little stint later.
“You have a thing for the drummer?”
I jumped as Kylie’s question came out of left field. And also maybe because I’d forgotten she was there. “What?”
She jerked her chin toward the empty stage. “The drummer. I saw the way you were looking at her.”
“Whoa.” I raised my palms. “She’s just my drum tech. Has been for a couple of years now.”
“I can’t believe you took me out to that shitty restaurant, then drug me to this shithole so you could drool all over that skank.” Kylie huffed and picked up her tiny clutch, mean mugging me the whole time. “Worst. Date. Ever.”
And I watched in disbelief as she stomped away.
Like a fool, I chased after her. Mostly to make sure she made it safely back to the car.
I stood in the doorway and watched as she flounced into the limo. The driver gave me a wide-eyed look. I sighed and walked toward him, shaking my head. “Take her home, please.”
“And return for you, sir?” He closed the door with a decisive click.
“Nah, I’m good. I’ll get a ride from a friend or call a car.” I shook his hand, passing a few bills along the way. “Thanks for tonight.”
“You’re very welcome, sir. I’d love to drive for you again.”
I smiled and nodded at him. “I’ll make sure to ask for you next time. Have a good night.”
“You too, sir.”
Shaking my head at the turn the evening had taken, I turned back to the bar and walked inside. No doubt that would be all over social media before the end of the night.
Ella was going to have my head.
Low pop music that’d been playing since the band left the stage still rolled through the bar, but now conversations drowned it out. I awkwardly shimmied past a huge group of men crowded around Bailey at the bar and nodded at the huge bouncer standing in front of Alice.
“Stop right there!” He raised a hand. “No one goes past—”
“He’s all right, Johnson.” Alice patted his shoulder from behind him. “That’s Noah Hawker.”
Johnson raised an eyebrow. “If you say so.”
Alice’s lips twitched like she was fighting a smile. “You don’t recognize him? He’s all over the news today. The drummer for the Tin Gods took another lucky fan out on the town tonight.”
“Couldn’t be too lucky if he’s here,” Johnson muttered.
I laughed. “You’re not wrong. Worst date ever. Fortunately, Kylie and I both agreed on that point.”
Johnson winced in sympathy as I walked past him.
Alice winced too as I took the stool next to her. “That bad?”
“Let’s see… She namedropped like a fucking quiz show contestant, thought the Palms restaurant was ‘too campy,’ and accused me of having a thing for you.”
“What?” Alice cackled. “Oh shit, that’s too funny.” She bent over, clutching her slim stomach, as her laughter cascaded over me. “A thing! I can’t wait to tell Lark!”
It was hard not to be insulted. “It’s not that funny.”
“Oh, agree to disagree,” Alice said through her giggles.
I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. “Yeah well, she left in a huff. In my hired car, so can I get a ride home after your gig?”
Alice straightened and swiped at her teary eyes. “Sure. As long as I get my money’s worth out of you.”
“I can afford gas,” I scoffed.
“Not what I meant.” Her eyes dropped to my chest and the sports coat I still wore. “You good to lift gear in that thing?”