Chapter 21
The air around me seemed to be charged as we walked through the doors of one of the many hotels that was owned by the yakuza. The one we were at was run by Daiki himself. Each step we took further into the lion's den could be our last. The eyes on us made the fine hairs on the nape of my neck stand on end.
"You look like you're about to shit yourself," Harlow joked.
Leave it to him to point out my discomfort. It wasn't like me; confrontation was fun, killing was one of my favorite pastimes, but fucking with the chain of command only set my nerves on edge. I swallowed it down, reminding myself at the end of the day that Daiki hadn't just fucked with me, he'd put Blake in harm’s way.
I rolled my shoulders back, taking in a breath and letting it out slowly. "What’s the plan here?"
Harlow shrugged, tying his hair back in a low ponytail. "Did you have one?"
I stared at the elevator doors, the silence daunting as it started moving. I twisted around and jabbed a knife into the camera in the corner. "Not a single one. Just fuck some shit up?"
"That sounds doable."
I stared at him. How many times had we wanted to take on one of his brothers? For years, we'd plan out in grave detail how we'd ruin their lives and kill them so Harlow would be the one left at the top. And here we were, on the way to see Daiki, and neither one of us had a solid plan in mind. Laughter tumbled out before I could catch it. How fucking insane were we?
"Finally, you're almost back to normal," Harlow said.
Maybe I needed the constant chaos and insanity in order to function. I wasn't sure, but what I did know was that there was no going back. We were already in the elevator headed up to where Daiki currently waited.
"What’s going to happen to you?" I asked.
Harlow looked unfazed. "I told you already, Benito won't let anyone touch me." He met my gaze. "And you're not going down either. I'll figure something out when the time comes."
Wouldn’t now be that time? I swallowed the question as the elevator stopped on the tenth floor. A couple giggled but stopped the moment they saw us.
I hid my weapon and smiled at them. "Catch the next ride, this one is full."
The guy held his girlfriend close, eyeing us. We didn't wait to hear their response, instead I hit the button to close the door and continue up.
Ringing cut through the elevator music. Harlow grunted and pulled out his phone.
"You kept it?" I asked.
"I have a child at home, of course I kept it." He showed me the phone. Benito's face was covered in pink frosting on the screen. "I had it off this whole time. Figured now was a good time to check on the baby. Being a parent isn't easy. You have to schedule murder and what not."
There was something seriously wrong with my best friend. Then again, we hadn't had the best parental figures in our lives. Compared to them though, he was doing ten times better. "He can track you; you know that, right?"
The smile Harlow gave me told me everything I needed to know. The phone stopped ringing only for it to start up all over again. He was fucking with Benito and having fun with it. In fact, he probably wanted his husband to find him. They were a fucked-up couple, but there was no denying the love they had for each other. Again, I found myself envious of my friend.
"He's called over a hundred times, talk about obsessed," Harlow said with a grin on his face.
"Pretty sure you're just as bad," I muttered under my breath, not that Harlow could deny my words. He was wrapped around Benito's fingers too.
Harlow tapped the screen, cutting off the ringing. "Hey, asshole, I'm a bit busy."
I couldn't make out what Benito said as Harlow pressed the phone between his shoulder and cheek. He pulled out a few knives that had to be brand new.
"Of course, I'll tell you when I get back home. It will be a hot bedtime story. I'm going to need to be bent over the nearest surface the moment I walk through the door, though." He gestured for me to follow suit.
I grunted, slipping on the brass knuckles over my left hand and taking a gun with the other. I was an equal opportunist when it came to weapons. I had a knife stashed on both ankles, just in case I had to get real creative. Their conversation was the last thing I wanted to listen to. I checked myself over, slipping out of the too-big coat. It was warm inside and it would only get in the way as I tried to fight. There was no doubt that when we walked through the doors, it would be a full-on war. Peaceful negotiations went out the window the moment Daiki tried to have me killed and ultimately put Blake's life on the line.
"Behave?" Harlow rolled his eyes. "I already promised Quincy I'd be on my worst behavior."
Bastard. "Hey, don't involve me in you two’s kinky mindfuck games."
Harlow just laughed as if he was having the time of his life. The crazy fuck probably was, but I couldn't help but join in. I missed this. There were days after Harlow went to go live with Benito that I'd dreamt of us destroying the city together. Nostalgia wormed its way into my chest and wouldn't let up. But, there, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think about someone else next to me instead. Someone who was wild in a fiery kind of way.
I forced myself to focus as we got closer. Only eight more floors to go. Every single time I looked too closely, it felt as if it was moving at a snail's pace.
"Oh?" Harlow's gray eyes moved over to me and my gut clenched.
"What?"
That oh meant something, but what? I waited for him to answer, to give me anything, but when he said nothing, it only made me more suspicious. Harlow ignored me in favor of Benito and continued to go back and forth with him. The numbers on the pad continued to climb up as we got closer to the penthouse suites. I checked my gun. I only had a single magazine, but it would have to do.
"Love you too. No, I got this and I will be home in—Wait a minute, who the fuck is watching Emica if you're with your brother?"
My back stiffened the moment he said brother and not one of the guys’ names. Was Benito with Blake right now? My interest was piqued instantly. I turned toward Harlow and snatched the phone out of his hand
"It's Blake, isn't it?"
"I was talking to my husband, Quincy. Since you're on the phone now, where are you two? And please tell me Harlow isn't about to do something stupid," Benito said.
None of that mattered. We were, in fact, about to do something very stupid, but Benito didn't need reassurance that he knew his husband so well. "Is Blake with you?" How is he? Does he look okay? Has he said anything about me?
I swallowed down every single question, forcing them to the pits of hell. I had no right to ask any of them and yet they continued to bubble up with every passing breath.
Harlow stood in front of me with a knowing look on his annoying face. He watched me too damn close, as if he knew what was happening in my head. It was bullshit when I didn't know my damn self.
Silence was all I received. My gut twisted when Benito didn't confirm it.
"Yeah, fuck me. I was only having a goddamn conversation, Quincy. I will cut your goddamn dick off," Harlow threatened but he hadn't made a move toward me.
I ignored Harlow in favor of listening, hoping for some kind of indication Blake was there. "Can he hear me?"
Benito sighed but he didn't say anything. I grinned. I couldn't help it. Just thinking about Blake filled me with so many mixed emotions that were impossible to squash.
"Hey, baby girl,” I said softly.
Harlow lifted a single brow in question at me.
"Look,” I rushed on. “I know I said some fucked up shit—" I shook my head. "When I get done, I need to talk to you. Shit, I need to grovel."
"I don't want to hear this," Benito grunted.
His words meant nothing to me. I wanted to hear from the one person who'd invaded every inch of my goddamn life.
"We'll see, " Blake said. "Where the fuck are you, Quincy?"
He was talking to me. My chest tightened in the most exquisite way. "Handling business, but the moment I'm done, I'll come to you."
Blake didn’t respond to me, but I knew he'd heard me, and that was all I needed. Harlow snatched the phone away and I couldn't find it in me to give a damn. I bounced on my toes and shook my arms out. The faster I cut through the bullshit beyond these doors, the faster I could have a talk with Blake. I wasn't sure how I was going to grovel and hope he started to talk to me again, but I was going to give it everything I had.
"What the fuck did you say to him? He's smiling like a damn psychopath," Harlow asked.
Was I? I caught my reflection in the doors of the elevator. My grin was from ear to ear as I waited to unleash pure chaos.
The doors opened, and the first guy I saw, I attacked. My fist slammed into his face, the audible crunch was a balm to my nerves the moment it hit my ears. He sank down and I quickly followed it up with my knife in his throat. There couldn't be a single person left alive after this. No witnesses.
A knife whipped past me and landed squarely in the middle of the other guy's chest. He clutched at it as if he wasn't sure what had happened. He stumbled forward before crashing to the ground next to his friend. I yanked my knife out, and kicked the other one over, pulling Harlow's blade free.
A gush of hot blood bubbled to the surface, slicking up my fingers and making it a little harder to hold onto my own weapon. I put my knife back away in favor of my gun. I had to be careful, we needed to make it in before alerting Daiki to our presence.
"Man, he's a worry wart," Harlow grumbled as he joined me. We headed over to the door. There was no one in sight as Harlow pulled out his phone, hitting a contact that read Chelsea.
“You don’t have the best track record,” I reminded him.
Harlow flipped me off. "Hey, we made it. Code?" Harlow looked up and waved at the camera. "She can see us. The camera feed isn't recording and we have about thirty minutes before the backup system takes notice." His brows scrunched. "And a lot more mumbo jumbo." He rolled his eyes, focusing back on the number pad and typing them in.
It lit up green and unlocked.
"Yeah, I know. Send the bill to Benito,” he said.
"He's going to kill you," I reminded my friend.
"No, he's going to fuck me to death. There is a difference."
Talking to him was like talking to some sex-crazed psychopath. I shook my head, not willing to argue with him because a part of me agreed. After this, I was going to need a few rounds in the bedroom. The only issue with that was the one I wanted to go a few rounds with was rightfully pissed off at me. Maybe some mind-blowing sex would make up for everything.
Harlow pushed the door open, and I went in first, gun raised. I leveled off three shots, taking down the first three men in sight. Two more came around the corner. I shot one in the leg and the other dodged in time for my bullet to find its home in the wall.
All hell broke loose as we made our way fully inside. The place was crawling with Daiki’s men and there would no doubt be more coming up like cockroaches. This was the fucking life. I dropped down over by a long couch as they opened fire. The large vase next to me shattered, sending porcelain flying. A few bits sliced into my flesh, leaving behind a burn that only made me focus more.
I caught sight of Harlow on the other side, tangled around a guy, his knife cutting into him like he was fucking pinata and he was looking for candy. Blood splashed everywhere, coating them both. He could handle his own. I peeked over the top of the couch, and narrowly missed getting my head blown off.
"Who the fuck is it?" Daiki’s voice rang throughout the penthouse.
I lifted my head again, waving at him. "Hey, so I came over for a little of a chat."
One of the guys shot at me again and I returned fire. My bullet landed in the middle of his forehead, and he fell back before being replaced. Five men surrounded Daiki, shielding him on all sides.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Quincy? You can't be this stupid."
"You wildly overestimate my intelligence," I shot back. I hid behind the couch again and rounded it in a crawl.
Daiki’s laugh was maniacal. "You think you can take me down? By yourself?" he spat.
"I just want to know why you tried to have me killed."
"I don't have to explain anything to you."
"True, but I'm going to get answers one way or another," I shot back.
"Kill him. あいつに死んでほしい。あいつの首を傲慢な売春婦の弟に送ってやる." I want him dead. I'll send his head to my arrogant whore of a brother .
He still hadn't noticed Harlow, but knowing my best friend, that wasn't going to be the case for long. As if on cue, Harlow hopped out of his hiding spot and threw his knife across the room. One of the idiots got in the way and Daiki was protected. I didn't hesitate. I fired off another ten shots before I was out. I tossed my gun and took on a guy that was wider than me but at least a foot shorter. He was probably shorter than Blake. I took him down, smashing his head into the marble flooring. Whoever had to clean the mess was going to have a bitch of a time getting blood out of the grout.
I was up and moving for the next one without hesitation. His fist slammed into my rib cage, knocking the air right out of my lungs. I wheezed as I took the hit and jabbed my knife into his arm. His shout was a short victory as he continued to swing. I wasn't going to be able to take many more hard hits like that.
His fist came down like thunder, and I took the opportunity to pull my knife free. Blood sprayed over the side of my face, blinding me for a second as he flexed his arms. The shock of seeing his own blood gave me the chance I needed. I twisted around and ran my knife over his throat, cutting him from ear to ear.
More blood joined in, and it felt like I was letting out months of pent-up frustrations. Shit hadn’t been going my way for a while and I was finally able to purge. I rammed my knife in one of the guys' sides and traded blows with him as he bled out. Hot splashes covered my shoes, soaking into my socks, and making each step wet and sticky. The more we fought, the bloodier I got.
At some point, I looked up and noticed the door had opened. No wonder it felt like I was killing on an endless loop. I smeared the blood on my face, trying to wipe some of it off my eyelashes. My entire world was painted crimson as I fell into the madness that so easily welcomed me. I chuckled and fought off two more guys, taking their hits while giving my own. Any pain that might have slowed me down was nothing more than a thud as I did what I could to kill every single one of them.
I had someone to get back to. Someone that mattered more than this shit.
I reared my fist back and slammed it down into a man's face. I did it again and again. My knuckles split as his teeth broke and scraped against my flesh. His blood and spit came up like a sprinkler each time my fist connected with his face. His nose caved, and when I pulled back again, there was a wet squelching sound that sent a chill down my spine. The smile that stretched on my face hurt my cheeks. The brass knuckles were mostly red now with specks of flesh clinging to them.
"Move and he's dead," Daiki’s voice broke through the fog of death, and I lowered my fist as I looked up.
His gun was aimed at Harlow, who was currently straddling two other guys. His hair was wild, blood was all over his face and he held a knife in his hand, still poised and ready to strike.
"You always know how to ruin the fun," Harlow said.
Neither one of us moved.
"Quincy—" He started to move his weapon toward me, and Harlow shifted.
"The moment you take your aim off me, you're as good as dead," Harlow promised.
"Quincy, you move and I'll kill him."
I sat back, taking in a long breath. It had felt like I'd been holding it for a while there. The strong scent of blood and gunpowder overwhelmed my senses for a second as I adjusted. "Go ahead, you're the one who will have to explain why you're going to war with the Vitales."
Daiki’s face paled for a short second before he regained his composure. For all his bravado, he still lacked in certain areas. "That may be true, but if you die, then there's no one who will give a fuck."
He wasn't wrong, but I smiled. "Eh, I don't know. Someone I know might set fire to everything you own."
"Father will be upset," he tried convincing Harlow.
"Damn, you really don't know your own brother," I said, standing up. I stretched as if I had no cares in the world. "You know, you could have hid out for a bit longer like the coward you are."
"Shut the fuck up." He jerked the gun my way and that was his first mistake. The moment he took his gaze off Harlow, he attacked. Harlow's knife went right into Daiki’s shoulder.
He dropped his weapon, and we were both on him in a split second. We made quick work of tying him down to a kitchen chair. As badly as I wanted him dead, I needed answers first.
"Was the hit on me ordered?" I asked. I dragged the sharp end of the blade just under his chin making sure not to go too deep but enough to make sure he felt the pain. Blood bubbled up and ran down, joining the rest.
"私は話していない。" I'm not talking.
"楽しみたいんだ。できるだけ長い間、口を閉じていよう." Good, I want to have fun. Keep your mouth shut for as long as possible , I said.
A flicker of fear shimmered in his eyes for a split second. It was all I needed. Harlow stood on Daiki’s other side.
"I've wanted this for years," Harlow said.
I didn't doubt it. I gestured to his brother. "Please, get a few cursory stabs in."
Harlow didn't hesitate as he picked up Daiki's discarded gun, put it against his ear and pulled the trigger. The bullet lodged into the opposite wall. The ringing in my ears covered the shout from Daiki as he flailed. Blood dripped from his ear, and Harlow being the psycho he was, pressed the hot metal of the gun against his brother's temple, leaving a small round mark.
"If I wasn't having fun, I'd pull the trigger right now," Harlow said. He backed up, and I knew it was my turn.
I wanted to smash his face in but since I still needed him to have the ability to talk, I settled for his body. I swung with every ounce of strength I had. Blow after blow rammed into his torso. With each one the chair scraped over the marble floor with force. Daiki coughed, and by the tenth hit, he was half bent over, retching. Bile hit the ground and Harlow and I jumped back.
"Gross," I said.
Harlow didn't care; he was all too ready for his turn. He took his brother's face and forced his head back. His knife was steady in one hand as he held Daiki’s eyelid and sliced it off. The curses in rapid-fire Japanese wasn't what I wanted to hear, so we both ignored them.
I traded with Harlow again and grabbed one of his hands. His middle finger was the first to be broken. The loud crack as I turned and forced it all the way to the left was a sound I was going to enjoy repeating. I gave him ten seconds to come to terms with the pain before I did it again. Each time, I let the pain and shock settle in before breaking another. I did it with both hands. Each digit was sticking up at odd angles. The tips were already changing colors, shifting to a dark purple hue.
There was no rest for him. Harlow and I continued to switch off, upping the torture each time around. It was like we were in some silent battle of who could hurt Daiki the most. I hoped I won with each scream I successfully pulled from him.
The knife in my hand was covered in his blood as I dragged it down, finishing off my design of a lotus flower at the same time Harlow carved kanji into his flesh.
"No," he gasped.
I cupped my ear and squatted down to get close, smiling at his pathetic state. "What was that?" I rubbed my ear as if that would help. “Shit, might have blood in there.”
He took in a shuddered breath that sounded wet. "No."
I'd nearly forgotten my question in the midst of fun. Was the hit on me ordered? Apparently not.
"Then why try and get me killed?"
He shook his head.
I walked back over to the huge kitchen, way nicer than anything I could afford lately. I'd turned the stove on in the middle of torture and had a few things getting nice and hot. I made sure to grab the heat resistant glove and picked up the fork. "Now, Harlow, you're the master at using these things as weapons; what do I do here?"
My best friend smiled. "Easy, just slide it in. You should try somewhere thin first. Maybe his cheek."
"Wait—" Daiki coughed more blood, adding to the mess on the floor. "I only wanted to remind you of your place."
I stopped next to him, holding the red glowing fork. Gas stoves were a blessing when it came to warming anything up. I brought it closer to his face.
"I answered!"
"Yeah, congrats! You win a fork to the eye."
Harlow held his head back as I brought down the utensil. The smell was atrocious but the sizzle was almost comical. A short chuckle broke free before I could contain it. As I forced it through, I stepped back, leaving it there. Daiki’s screams were like eating ice cream on an extremely hot day. A well-deserved reward.
Harlow and I went back and forth until Daiki’s screams stopped and his body no longer reacted. We were covered in blood. It was like old times. I untied Daiki from the chair and smiled as his body hit the floor. Harlow laughed and kicked his corpse. There was a lot more resentment there than I could ever imagine.
"Now that's taken care of, we need?—"
"To explain what happened here." Minato walked in. He was Harlow's second oldest brother, and in all honesty, more cruel and calculating than any of his other siblings. There was a faction in the yakuza who wholeheartedly believed he was meant to be the rightful heir.
"You're late," Harlow said, not shocked in the least to see his brother.
"You called him?"
He shoved the black strands of his hair back using blood to keep it away from his face. "I didn't have a solid plan, but we weren’t the only ones who wanted Daiki gone."
Minato walked further into the place, careful of the bodies and puddles of blood. "Is he dead?"
We looked down at Daiki and then back at Minato. "Nah, he's just taking a little nap. You know, studies show that losing blood helps with insomnia. Want to join in on the study?"
He didn't so much as bat an eye at my remark. Instead, like most of them, he turned to Harlow.
"The groundwork has already been set. It's a shame our dear older brother couldn't hold his own against Isaak Antonov. Cheating them out of money is a mark against our family name." He placed his hand over his heart and closed his eyes as if he actually gave a fuck.
Harlow twisted one of the knives he used to torture Daiki between his fingers, looking like he'd gotten the best Christmas present yet.
"Quincy, have this place cleaned up, and once you're done?—"
"Hold up," Harlow said, stepping toward his brother. "Quincy is out."
"We both know there is no out. Isn't that right, Quincy?"
I nodded. The fact that he was going to let me live was a miracle. Then again, he was more likely to use me until I had no purpose left at all. There would be no trust. I'd have to continue moving around and watching over my shoulder.
"He's joining the Vitales," Harlow argued.
"I am?"
"He is?" Minato shook his head. "He can't just?—"
"He's getting married."
"What?" This was news to me. The more Harlow spoke, the more I was certain my friend had lost the little bit of brain cells he had left.
"Marrying some third-rate cousin wouldn't warrant a change,” Minato said.
"It's not a cousin. He's marrying an actual brother. And you know they won't allow him to be under you while he's loyal to them."
Minato seemed to think it over, staring at us over his dead brother's corpse. I was even more lost than I had been before he walked through the fucking door. I'd been certain I was going to end up taking all the blame and running. There was no way in hell I was going to allow Harlow to even remotely get in trouble. He had a kid and husband, where I only had me.
We weren’t the same.
"We can work out a deal," Minato finally said.
"What do you want?" Harlow asked.
He shook his head. "Oh no, I don't want your word. I want Benito's."
I could practically hear Harlow's teeth grind together. The tension in the room thickened by the second to a choking level. I sighed.
"If we're going to kill him, hurry up and make up your mind," I said, breaking the tension.
Minato didn't look worried for someone who was alone. Then again, if there was anyone who was as crazy as Harlow, it was Minato
"Fine," Harlow spat, conceding.
"Good." He clapped his hands and turned around, taking in the place. "Now that's taken care of. The less people who know about this the better. I'll have my guys come and take care of it." His soulless eyes pinned me to the spot. "I'd hoped to have you. It was a shame when my father handed you to Daiki. I always knew he wouldn't know how to use your talents properly, and now I won't get to."
"Oh shit, you heard how good I am in the sheets, didn't you? Look, I swing that way but not for you. It's a hard pass for me." I needed to get rid of the queasy feeling he was invoking in me.
"Get cleaned up and get out of here. I have to set the stage just right," Minato said.
Harlow wiped the blood off his blade and put it away so fast I would have missed it if I hadn't been watching. I did the same. Taking the brass knuckles off was a bitch when the blood around them had dried some and clung to me like papery thin glue. It cracked and flaked off as I moved my fingers around.
We headed toward the hall, neither one of us taking our eyes off Minato. We might have just cut a deal with him, but it didn't mean he was trustworthy. It wasn't until we were a few levels of stairs down that we broke out into a full sprint to the bottom. The parking garage was one level down from the main lobby, and the moment I could, I flew over the steps. I was careful not to leave any fingerprints. Even though Minato would have the place swept and cleaned, I wasn't taking any chances.
I stopped at my car, breathing heavily and cursing myself for leaving my jacket. It was so fucking cold, my teeth were chattering, and all the blood on me felt like ice cold water on my flesh. I yanked my door open and hopped behind the wheel. Ramming the key into the ignition, I cranked the heat up the moment it started.
"Fuck, it's cold," Harlow grunted.
My fist slammed into his arm. "What the fuck was that?"
"You're welcome."
I shook my head, backing out and leaving the garage. "Welcome? Harlow, what the fuck? Start talking."
"Yes, you’re welcome. Hit me again and I will cut your fucking hand off. Then you won't be able to jerk your pretty boyfriend off anymore. Oh shit, I mean your husband."
I jerked to the right as I turned to look at him in shock. I straightened the car. "What the fuck are you even talking about?"
"I'm talking about the fact you're fucking the youngest Vitale." I could feel his gaze bore into the side of my face. "Don't deny it. You like him."
"He's—" What? How did I feel about Blake Vitale? He was insane, and there was a lot about him that made me scratch my head, but above all else, I felt human around him.
"Shit!” Harlow gasped. “You love him."
"No."
Harlow laughed. "Oh fuck! That's why you were moping like a teen girl who got her heart broken."
"I wasn't." He was a goddamn asshole now. He'd been hanging around Benito a little too much.
"Here I thought it was all my fault, but really, you were moping about Vitale dick."
"Fuck you, Harlow."
“Never going to happen. Not then and not now.”
“Harsh,” I shot back. I wasn't mad about it, but still, it hit the ego a bit hard. Who wouldn’t want to toss in the sheets with me?
He shook his head, more of the strands breaking free of his ponytail. "How would that work, Quincy? Two bottoms don't go together." His head tilted as he grinned at me. "What are we supposed to do? Bump assholes? I mean, we couldn’t even scissor, that’s for the lesbians, according to Melony. What would we even call that? You know who might know the answer? That annoying fucker, Giancarlo.”
Wait a fucking minute. "I’m not a bottom."
Harlow paused with his phone in his hand. I slowed to a stop at a red light, trying my hardest to focus on the road ahead.
"You can't seriously still believe that."
When I didn't say anything, Harlow unbuckled and snapped his fingers in my face. Blood flakes went everywhere. I was going to need the car heavily detailed. I slapped his hand away. Denial felt stupid, and it wasn’t as if I wasn’t bottoming. It just happened that way with Blake.
"What the fuck was that about up there?" I asked, changing the subject back to safe waters.
"Okay, let's switch the conversation. I made a decision, and I knew leaving you under any of my brothers was a bad call. Plus, I missed this. Benito lets me torture and kill but every time we do it together, I get distracted and end up wanting to suck his dick."
"You know you can keep some things to yourself."
"I know."
I took off, heading toward their home, still unsure of everything but oddly feeling as if it was bound to work out. "You don't have to tell me how much you love him, I get it."
Harlow shrugged. "I wasn't doing it to hurt you, but I can't say I'm not a little concerned."
"About what?" I glanced over at him.
"You still harboring feelings for me."
I blew out a breath. "Everyone keeps asking the same fucking question." I turned to look him dead in the eyes. "Harlow, I swear, ain’t nothing left. My dick doesn't so much as twitch when I look at you. All I have for you is mild respect and a hint of fear." The only reason I feared his crazy ass was because he knew secrets about me from my childhood, ones I wanted to stay buried.
"Oh good. I'd hate for Benito to have to fight you again."
Yeah, let's bring that shit up, makes me feel real good about myself.
"Since we're finally talking about this shit. Why couldn't we work out?" I ground my molars. "And don't fucking say the bottom shit."
Harlow laughed. "Someone is touchy all because he got called out."
I am going to kill him.
"We saw each other at our ugliest.” He sighed. “You've seen things happen to me and been there at my lowest."
"Yeah, same for you."
He nodded. "Can't exactly look at you the same after seeing that shit."
I opened my mouth to tell him that wasn't true, but then was I being an idiot? There had been a lot of shit we'd gone through, and time after time, I'd found myself hoping more to protect him and erase it from both of our minds. It was less of wanting him because of attraction and more of wanting to get away from the shit hand we’d been dealt.
"Yeah, see." He stared out the window for a bit and the car was filled with an overwhelming silence. “We could never have an honest relationship. All I can see is us being great, until we weren’t. And neither of us would be willing to hurt the other. Not for real.” My stomach squeezed at his words, he was right. "Plus, like I said, you're a fucking bottom. I ain’t topping you." A literal shudder raced over Harlow's body.
I chuckled at his stupidity. "Noted, wouldn't want you anywhere near it, and I’m not a fucking bottom. Vers at times."
"Whatever you have to say to sleep with a gut full of cum at night."
“I don’t do that!” I argued.
“Suuuuuure,” Harlow droned on. “I know a bottom when I see one.”
I needed to get out of this endless conversation about how I did or did not take dick up the ass. "What was this business about me marrying into the family?"
"Right, I have to call Benito. How quick do you think you can convince Blake to marry you?"
I slammed my foot on the brakes just outside of Benito's building. Car horns blared and a few curses were shot our way. None of it registered as I stared at Harlow in confusion. The man had given me whiplash.
"What now?"
He grinned. "You're going to marry Blake Vitale. Congrats!"