31. Guest Characters
Chapter thirty-one
Guest Characters
Micah
Dex’s place at the table is occupied.
Not technically his spot. Dex has never respected assigned seating enough to have one of those.
But, for the last few months, he sits across from me and spends half the session invading my foot space, stealing my food, bumping his knee against mine under the table, and stage-whispering comments he knows Ronan can hear but pretends aren’t meant for him.
Tonight, there’s a very pretty brunette in that chair studying a character sheet like it’s written in a foreign language.
Which, based on her expression, it might as well be.
“I have a question.”
Ronan looks up from behind his DM screen. “We haven’t started yet.”
“That’s why I’m asking now.” Alexis points at the middle of the page. “What the fuck is proficiency?”
Shawn laughs quietly beside her.
Ronan takes off his glasses.
Cami leans over the table. “Oh, you’re gonna fit in great.”
“I know what a d20 is,” Alexis defends.
“That is a strong start,” Griffin says.
She points at him. “Thank you.”
“That wasn’t necessarily praise.”
“I accepted it as praise.”
Shawn reaches over and taps one section of her sheet. “It just means you’re especially good at certain things. So when Ronan asks for a check, you’ll sometimes add that bonus too.”
Alexis stares at the numbers. “Okay.”
“That make sense?”
“No.”
He smiles. “Want me to explain it another way?”
“Yes.”
There’s no condescension in his voice. He doesn’t grab the sheet and do it for her either. He waits until she shifts closer, then walks her through an example.
I like him for that.
I liked him when we met him too.
He’s quiet and observant. Not the kind of quiet where someone doesn’t have anything to say, but the kind where he waits until he has something worth saying.
Which sounds a lot like me.
Maybe that’s why I noticed him more than I expected.
Or maybe I’m just trying not to notice who isn’t sitting across from me.
Ronan taps a pencil against his notebook. “Ready?”
Alexis looks at Shawn.
Shawn glances at her sheet. “You’re ready enough.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“It probably is.”
Ronan’s mouth twitches.
Cami slides the bowl of popcorn closer to Alexis. “Welcome to campaign night.”
Alexis takes a handful. “I’m already having a better time than at work.”
“Low bar?” Griffin asks.
“Very.”
“I won’t tell Carter or Jer you said that,” Shawn teases.
We all laugh, then Ronan clears his throat.
Everyone settles.
My phone buzzes against my thigh.
I don’t have to look to know who it is.
I still do.
Dex
have you started without me
I glance toward Ronan.
He is looking down at his notes.
I type under the table.
Micah
No
Dex
LIAR
it's 7:34
Micah
Just about to
I put my phone facedown on the table.
Campaign night begins.
Ronan has worked Shawn and Alexis into the city we’ve been stuck in for the last two sessions. Not elegantly, exactly, but intentionally enough that I can see the seams and appreciate the effort.
Our party is in a tavern trying to find information about the group that’s been tracking us since we left the temple.
Or at least that’s what we’re supposed to be doing.
Instead, Cami has spent the first five minutes talking to an elderly bartender Ronan clearly created for the sole purpose of giving us directions.
Again.
Apparently adopting NPCs is a character trait of hers now.
Griffin is trying to determine whether the man sitting in the corner is watching us.
I am actually looking for the contact we’re supposed to meet.
And the role normally occupied by Dex making all of our lives harder remains conspicuously unfilled.
Then the tavern door opens.
Ronan looks toward Shawn. “Go ahead.”
Shawn sits a little straighter.
Something about his demeanor changes—just enough that I know he’s done this before.
“My character walks in and stops just inside the door.”
Ronan nods. “Describe him.”
Shawn thinks for half a second. “Human. Early thirties. Dark robes, but not dramatic wizard robes. They’re practical. Travel-worn. He’s carrying a staff mostly because his knees hurt when he walks long distances.”
Cami snorts.
Alexis turns toward him. “Your fantasy wizard has bad knees?”
“He’s had a hard life.”
“He’s thirty.”
“So am I.”
That makes Griffin laugh.
Shawn continues. “His name is Edrin. He looks around the room like he’s already regretting coming inside.”
“Relatable,” Ronan says.
Shawn’s mouth lifts.
Then Ronan turns toward Alexis.
She freezes. “What?”
“Your entrance.”
“Oh.” She straightens in her chair. “Right.”
Shawn murmurs, “You came in with me.”
“Did I?”
“If you want.”
Alexis thinks about it.
“No.”
Shawn raises an eyebrow.
“I kick the door open behind him.”
Cami starts laughing immediately.
Ronan looks at Alexis. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I’m a barbarian.”
“That is not a reason.”
“It feels like a reason.”
Griffin looks at me.
I shrug.
I’m not arguing with her logic.
Ronan sighs. “Fine. Edrin walks into the tavern. Approximately three seconds later, the door slams into the wall behind him hard enough that several patrons turn.”
Alexis grins. “My name is Vera.”
Shawn mutters something under his breath.
“And I’m carrying a very large axe.”
Ronan nods. “What do you look like?”
“Hot.”
Shawn covers his face.
Cami nearly spits out her drink.
Ronan closes his eyes.
Alexis keeps going. “Tall. Muscular. Long dark hair. Leather armor.”
“Actual armor?” Ronan asks.
She frowns. “Sure.”
“Because leather bikini armor isn’t particularly useful.”
“I never said bikini.”
“You said hot.”
“She can be hot and appropriately protected, Ronan,” Cami argues.
“Thank you.”
Ronan looks between them. “I regret inviting guests.”
“No, you don’t,” I say.
His eyes land on me.
He’s trying not to smile.
Ronan’s explanation for why Shawn and Alexis are here in-game is stupid, but also kind of perfect.
Our contact has disappeared.
The last people to see him were Edrin and Vera, who were hired by the same man to retrieve a stolen magical object before it can be sold.
The object is a small silver box.
Nobody knows what’s inside.
The only instruction is that under absolutely no circumstances are we supposed to open it.
Which means we are definitely opening it.
Even Griffin knows that.
“We should not open it,” he says.
Cami looks at him. “But?”
He sighs. “But someone is going to.”
The answer forms in my head in Dex’s voice before I can stop it.
Already opened it.
Something tight catches beneath my ribs.
My hand moves toward my phone on instinct, but I stop halfway there and reach for my drink instead.
Cami notices.
She doesn’t say anything. Just squeezes my thigh once under the table before Ronan moves us into the actual encounter.
We’re supposed to locate a black-market dealer operating out of the cellar beneath the tavern.
Shawn immediately starts asking questions.
“How old is the building?”
Ronan pauses. “Approximately two hundred years.”
“Original construction?”
“Most of it.”
“Stone foundation?”
“Yes.”
“Cellar fully below grade?”
Something changes in Ronan’s face.
He’s having fun.
“Mostly.”
“Any exterior access besides the stairs inside?”
Ronan leans back. “There is an old coal chute on the eastern side.”
Shawn smiles. “There we go.”
Alexis looks between them. “What just happened?”
“Shawn found the nerd door,” Cami tells her.
Ronan ignores that. “You don’t know about the coal chute yet.”
Shawn nods immediately. “Right. Can I investigate the exterior?”
“Yes.”
Alexis watches him pick up his dice. “That’s deeply unsettling.”
“We know,” Cami agrees.
Shawn finds the coal chute, and we avoid the main staircase entirely.
Ronan has to rearrange approximately three pages of notes.
I can tell by the way he stacks them.
He isn’t annoyed.
If anything, he looks pleased.
“You’re smiling,” I tell him.
“No, I’m not.”
“You are.”
Shawn glances between us. “Did I break something?”
“No,” Ronan answers quickly. “This is what you’re supposed to do.”
Cami points at Shawn. “Oh, he likes you.”
“Cameron,” Ronan warns.
She smiles sweetly. “Yes?”
He looks back down at his notes.
Alexis leans toward Shawn. “I think you made a friend.”
“I heard that,” Ronan says to the paper.
“We know,” they say together.
The coal chute gets us into the cellar.
It also dumps Griffin directly into a barrel.
He rolls a natural one on the athletics check, and Ronan describes the crash in far more detail than necessary.
“I hate this game,” Griffin mutters.
“You said that last time,” I remind him.
“And yet I’m still here.”
“Character growth.”
“Fuck off.”
Alexis stage-whispers to Cami, “He’s my favorite.”
“I heard that too,” Griffin says, but he’s smiling.
The dealer isn’t alone.
There are four goblins, one half-orc, and, apparently, a goose.
They are all between us and the silver box.
We stare at Ronan.
“A goose?” I ask.
He checks his notes like maybe one appeared there without his permission. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“You don’t know.”
Alexis immediately says, “I want the goose as a pet.”
Cami slaps the table. “Yes.”
“No,” Ronan says.
“You don’t get to decide that,” Cami argues.
“I quite literally do.”
“Not if she rolls well.”
Ronan looks toward me like I’m supposed to intervene.
I take a drink.
Not my problem.
Combat starts.
Shawn’s wizard goes first.
He knows his spells well enough that Ronan stops explaining mechanics halfway through the turn when he realizes Shawn is already doing the math.
Edrin throws up a control spell that cuts two goblins off from the rest of the room.
“Nice,” I tell him.
“Thanks.”
Alexis studies the map. “My turn?”
Ronan nods. “What do you want to do?”
She points. “I want to hit the big guy.”
“Excellent barbarian strategy,” Griffin says.
“See? He gets me.”
Ronan points at the half-orc miniature. “You’ll need to move here.”
Alexis moves Vera. “Then what?”
“Attack roll.”
“I know that one.”
She grabs the d20.
Rolls.
“Seventeen.”
“Add your attack modifier.”
She looks down, and Shawn taps the correct number without taking the sheet from her.
“Twenty-three.”
“That hits.”
Her entire face lights up. “Fuck yes.”
“Roll damage.”
She does. Ronan tells her which modifier to add.
Nine damage.
Not spectacular.