Chapter 19 Moving On
MOVING ON
Poppy
“I’m sorry, Poppy. I didn’t have the whole story when Eli asked for your address. I wouldn’t have given it to him, I swear,” Cici says over the phone after I’ve filled her in on everything.
“Braden would have found it one way or another, I’m sure.”
“True. This sucks. I can’t believe he did that.”
“Tell me about it. But what’s worse? That he did it, or that I was dumb enough to fall for it? I’m so stupid,” I whine.
“You are not. How could you have known?”
“There were signs. I should’ve picked up on the similarities or noticed how they talked the same. Instead, I was oblivious while chatting with them each night. Dammit… I’m just so mad at myself. I can’t believe I almost committed to someone who lied so easily.”
“You’re not the first and won’t be the last to be catfished.
It’s not your fault. He fooled me too. First, he needed your number because he said you left something at his house, then he asked Eli about the dating app.
I should’ve figured out right then that something was up. I’m partly responsible.”
“If it’s not my fault, then it’s definitely not yours, so don’t beat yourself up. That’s reserved for Braden.”
“You’re telling me. Next time he’s here, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.”
“Don’t waste your breath—it won’t make a difference.
And anyway, I’m moving on. I just wish I hadn’t started liking him so much.
It feels like we broke up, but we weren’t even together.
Ugh, it’s so frustrating. I’m all over the place—one minute, I’m pissed, the next minute I’m sad, and every now and then, I want to call him up and forgive him. And that just proves how stupid I am.”
“Stop saying that. He was the first guy you were with, which made him special, and you were falling for him.”
“I’m pretty sure I fell off the cliff, but rather than soar, I sank straight to the bottom.”
“Oh, Poppy, I’m so sorry. You’ll get through this, especially with the holidays around the corner and your brother coming home. You’ll be fine in no time—just hang in there.”
“Thanks, Cici. But let’s change the subject. How’s Abby doing? And what about Lily and Sami?”
The following twenty minutes fly by as Cici tells me how awesome it’s been to have Lily and Sami next door.
They’re together all the time with their new babies.
And while I love hearing how great everything is and how happy they are, it’s another reminder I’m back where I started and nowhere closer to finding my Mr. Forever and starting a family. This sucks.
Four days later, I’m in worse shape than before.
Probably because of the letter I got today from Braden.
He must’ve figured out I’ve blocked him and resorted to snail mail.
It went straight into my junk drawer. Since my brother’s arriving tonight, I can’t focus on the Braden situation.
I’m already nervous about concealing my crappy mood, and reading that won’t help.
He arrives at six after flying for thirty hours, so he’ll probably be exhausted, but that won’t stop us from celebrating his arrival with dinner at my parents’.
He’ll stay with them until he figures out where to live permanently, whether he buys something or rents.
I would’ve offered to let him crash at my place, but they have way more room than I do.
“Grayson gets in today, right?” Matt asks as he pops into my office and leans his hip against the desk.
“Yes, I’m so excited.” I smile genuinely for the first time in almost a week. “He hasn’t been here since last Christmas, and won’t be leaving this time. It’s weird—in a good way.”
“I’m sure it’ll be nice to have him back. Not to mention a great distraction. Are you feeling any better?” He crosses his arms, concern written in his features.
“No, not really. I’m so used to talking to them every night.
And now, I go home, read a book—something I did with Braden—and realize how alone I am again.
It’s so stupid since neither of them were even here.
” I groan. “I need to stop saying them. It was only ever Braden. The whole thing sucks. And the worst part is that I miss him.”
“That’s normal. Feelings don’t go away overnight, no matter the circumstances. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’ll fade, and having your brother around should make it easier.”
“Yeah, I hope so. Speaking of, I was hoping the three of us could go for dinner and drinks this weekend. Are you free?”
“Definitely. I’ve got to meet this brother I’ve heard so much about.”
My second genuine smile appears as we make a plan before getting back to work.
Leaving a few hours later, I drive to Mom and Dad’s house so we can pick up Grayson together. At the airport, I hold a sign that says, “Welcome home, Grayson… For good,” as he exits the doors. He hugs my parents enthusiastically, then picks me up and swings me around as we embrace.
I expected him to have multiple bags full to the brim from seven years away, but he only has his army-assigned duffel filled with clothes, as if returning from a vacation.
Our family dinner didn’t last long. Grayson was exhausted and could barely function due to the flight and time change. So, shortly after we ate, I told him to rest so we could go out on Saturday to catch up, and then quickly took my leave.
Now that we’re older and somewhat on the same level, it’s a different relationship than when he left.
I’ve matured, and we seem to relate better.
I’m excited to become more like friends than siblings if he doesn’t go crazy on the big brother role by interfering in my dating life.
Although I may need some intervention since my intuition seems to be lacking.
As I lay in bed replaying the night, I realize how nice it was to stop thinking about Braden for a few hours. I managed to appear normal instead of the blubbering mess I’ve been for the past week. From having missed Grayson so much, the excitement of him being home made it easy.
But now that I’m alone again, the distraction is gone. I’ve started sulking in the evenings around the time I used to text or read with Braden for “Book Club.” It sucks to realize how much I looked forward to it now that it’s gone. And boy, is it hitting me hard.
I’ve tried to pass the time by calling Cici, but she should only have to endure so much of my misery, so I’ve been trying not to overdo the whole woe is me thing.
Her telling me about the guy’s night out midweek and what bad shape Braden is in didn’t help.
Cici thought it would make me feel better to know how miserable he was, but it made it worse to know he’s as torn up as I am.
Unfortunately, it’s another crying spree that finally lulls me to sleep.
By Saturday night, I’m still a mess after another letter arrived today, tossed in with the first one.
Depending on how long he keeps this up, I may have to do something about them, but for now, I do my best to doll myself up and paste a big smile on before walking into the restaurant to meet Grayson and Matt.
“Hey, you. Are you feeling rested yet?” I ask Grayson as I reach the table and lean in for a hug. Matt isn’t here yet.
“Yep. Sorry I didn’t come by yesterday, but I’m glad I found something.” Grayson spent the day car shopping and went to bed right after dinner, still jetlagged.
“No worries. What did you end up with?”
“The biggest truck I could find. I’m used to driving military vehicles, so a car wouldn’t cut it.”
“Well, I’m happy you got one then. I’m excited for you to meet Matt. I wish Cici was still here so you could meet her too, but you’re a few months late.”
“Is this Matt guy your boyfriend, or what?” He raises one eyebrow, making me laugh.
“He’s just a friend, I swear. Why would I hide it if he were my boyfriend? It’s not like I require your approval or anything.”
He gives me a stern look. “Uh, think again. I’m still your older and wiser brother.”
I roll my eyes. “In case you forgot, I’m an adult who dated plenty while you were gone.” No need to tell him how I screwed that up.
“If any of them were serious, I’d have known and checked them out.”
“Oh geez, you can’t protect me forever.”
“Says who?”
“Me.”
It’s his turn to roll his eyes, but before he makes a retort, Matt joins us.
“Hey,” Matt says, approaching the table.
“Yay, you’re here.” I smile and rise to hug him.
Grayson also stands, and I introduce them while they shake hands. Matt welcomes him home as we take our seats. The waiter comes for our drink orders and then leaves us to visit.
“So is it true you and my sister are just friends?”
“Grayson!” I chastise.
Matt laughs and answers, “Yes. I did try to date Cici once, but Poppy and I were fast friends.”
Grayson nods in acceptance.
“So you’ll take his word for it but not mine,” I admonish Grayson.
“Just making sure I’m not missing anything.”
I roll my eyes for the second time tonight. “You’re annoying.”
He laughs. “And you’re glad to have me back.” He winks at me, then turns to Matt. “Poppy told me you two work together. How long have you been in real estate?”
“A little over a year now. The timing was right, and the market was in my favor, so it worked out. I’m loving it. How about you? What are your plans now that you’re home?” Matt’s a natural at conversing with people. It’s one of the reasons he’s so successful.
“I’m still throwing around a few ideas. Thankfully, I’m not in a rush. My first priority is to find someplace to live.”
“Well, I know a realtor if you need one,” Matt says conspiratorially.
I butt in. “Hey. Nice try—he’s my brother.” After scolding Matt teasingly, I turn to Grayson. “Are you looking to purchase or rent a house? You could always stay at Mom and Dad’s until you figure out what you want to do. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”
Grayson scoffs. “I’d mind. I love being home, but not living at home. I’m too old for that. I’m ready to put some roots down.”
“Can you afford to buy something?” I ask, surprised.