CHAPTER 6
Artemis
Watching the man who had always held an air of superiority and unshakeable foundations crumple to the ground in a quivering mess stunned my entire system.
I froze just inside the doorway to the closet he had stumbled into, eyes wide as I watched him break apart before my very eyes.
At least with Libby and Bromm, I knew what the problem was so I could fix it.
I had no clue why Cadmus was suddenly a whimpering mess.
It just wasn’t him.
But I had dealt with enough panic attacks to know the signs and generally what to do. He needed care, patience, and understanding, all of which I was more than willing to provide.
I carefully picked up the items that had fallen with the broken shelf and placed them on another shelf wherever I could find the space, then I scooped him up and carried him out of there, careful not to crush his wings even further than their harness already did.
He needed a bed and warmth.
Comfort.
Not the hard floor with an array of cleaning supplies dumped on top of him.
Thankfully, this side of the ship was empty as everyone else was either on the bridge, in the infirmary, or guarding the prisoners on the lower deck.
I knew he wouldn’t want anyone to see him in this state, and I hoped he wouldn’t pull back from me when he realised I had.
Cadmus Alaida was a proud man, through and through.
I strode through the ship’s passageways with a confidence I didn’t truly feel, attempting to hide my concern for the man in my arms who was quickly stealing his own piece of my heart.
When I reached the topmost deck that housed the Captain’s quarters, I headed straight for it, adjusting my hold on Cadmus to reach out towards the security pad to let us in.
The doors immediately slid open to reveal a room that was the exact opposite of what I expected a Program leader to be.
It was the aftermath of Addy on steroids.
The mess was so severe, the stench so pungent, that I spent more time kicking it all out of the way to reach the bed.
While that was messy as well, at least it was the clean type. Scrunched up sheets, pillows strewn haphazardly across the mattress, but no signs of trash, mystery stains, or bad smells.
With my one hand still free, I quickly adjusted the pillows and straightened the sheets before laying him down and pulling the thick, soft blanket over him.
I began to tuck in the sides like I used to do with Bal, only to halt my actions before I could finish the job.
I realised then that I didn’t actually know how he preferred to sleep.
Did he like to be cocooned? Did he prefer to sleep in pyjamas or sans clothes?
Honestly, I could see him both ways, but now wasn’t the time to strip him.
He needed to feel something against his skin to ground him in the present when he woke up.
If I changed too much about his physical state, it had the potential to induce an… adverse effect.
And with the nanites coursing through him so new, I wasn’t about to take any unnecessary risks.
So, after smoothing his damp hair back tenderly and taking a moment to admire his utterly beautiful face, I got to work tidying the room.
I stole glances at him occasionally just to check that he was still sleeping soundly, his chest rising and falling with his breaths despite being stuttered and the furrow of his brows that indicated a restless sleep.
I didn’t know what nightmares he was enduring, his past still something of a mystery to me, regardless of my own surface-level research once upon a time.
I knew he had been raised by his father, his mother passing when he was young. I knew he was wealthy and that his father owned the Entario Station.
And I knew that there were many layers beneath his pompous fa?ade that I had yet to be given access to.
Witnessing this panic attack was merely scratching the surface, and he had even tried to hide that much from me, too.
I just hoped he would open up and let me in because I found myself wanting this relationship we were building to last, and if there was one thing I knew, despite my lack of social skills, it was that being open and honest was the best way forward.
I looked away again to place some old, dirty socks in the pile of clothing I intended to incinerate when Cadmus’s tormented mumbles began.
‘Mama… No… Don’t go…’
I dropped what I was doing and rushed to his side.
He was tossing and turning, his face scrunched as if he were in physical pain while sweat accumulated on his pasty skin.
His typical light purple colouring was even paler than usual to the point where I could see his veins in stark contrast beneath his skin.
I watched, concerned, as his stuttering heartbeat was reflected in the pumps of his blood, his veins throbbing at quick, inconsistent intervals.
I rested the back of my hand against his skin to test his temperature, only to find him burning up, and I was no longer sure if this was merely a panic attack or something much worse.
Blue light illuminated him softly as I activated my nanites, begging them to connect with the ones I had inadvertently infected him with to check for any signs of illness.
My biggest concern was that his body was rejecting them, or this was another, more severe case of the acclimation process.
I was prepared for such an instance after Bromm’s near-death experience, but this wasn’t like that at all.
He hadn’t simply been okay one moment only to collapse the next.
It was horrifying enough when Bromm went through it and I thought he was dying.
I didn’t think my heart could survive another scare like that.
The nanites connected seamlessly, throwing me into the web as information darted through the void until it was right in front of me.
There wasn’t anything that seemed to be seriously wrong with him.
His heart rate had spiked and his temperature was a product of his heightened emotions rather than any health issues.
Regardless, he was still burning up and needed to be cooled down.
I snapped back into the real world so fast that it took me a moment to reorient myself, but then I was rushing into the connected bathroom suite.
As quickly as I could, I ran a cloth beneath the running water from the sink and raced back to Cadmus’s side to gently dab at his forehead.
His murmurs grew louder, and his body trembled with the intensity of his distress.
"Mama... Please... Don't leave me..." His voice cracked, and the raw pain in his words pierced something deep inside me that I had long since thought was purged from my psyche.
I pushed it aside, focusing instead on keeping him cool rather than dredging up old, useless dreams that would never come true.
I did my best to soothe him while he slept, re-rinsing the cloth to keep it cool and damp while murmuring soothing words that I knew he couldn’t hear but hoped he could anyway.
I was careful not to wake him, afraid that if I jolted him from his nightmares I would make things worse.
His unconscious mind was fighting a battle that needed to be slain.
Whatever it was, if it was about his mother, then it had been suppressed for a long, long time. Why it was surfacing now, though, was the mystery.
Hours passed before there was any sign of change.
The lights had dimmed long ago for the ship’s night cycle, and I had settled in beside him on the bed once his temperature was back under control.
Addy had peeked her head in earlier to check on us after figuring out where we had disappeared to, but I waved her away, not wanting Cadmus to become a spectacle.
She had given me a knowing look, rushed over for a quick hug, then promptly left us alone with explicit orders to keep everyone else away.
So far, she had been successful.
Finally, Cadmus’s eyes fluttered open, a low, pained groan reverberating from his chest.
I sat up, ready to do whatever was needed, but when his hand latched onto my arm and dragged me back down with a strength that surprised me, I couldn’t help but snuggle back into his side.
He caught my hand when I lifted it to check his temperature once again, and deep purple bloodshot eyes peered up at me from beneath heavy lids.
‘Wha… What happened?’ he croaked, then coughed through the dry scratchiness.
‘I’ll get you some water,’ I told him, untangling myself from his grasp to head for the kitchenette in the corner of the room.
My cleaning had unveiled a fully stocked refrigeration unit and a few cabinets dotted with snacks, plus an unopened box of Nutri-Bars that had been stashed in the furthest recesses of the lowest cabinet, hidden away behind an overflowing trashcan that had turned out to be the source of the nauseating smell.
Well, one of them, but it was definitely the worst.
I came back with a bottle, then set it aside momentarily while I helped him to sit up.
He groaned again, his entire body stiff from the mental ordeal.
When I tried to tip the water into his mouth, however, he pushed me away and took it himself, gulping the cool liquid while avoiding my gaze.
When it was empty and he had nothing else to hide behind, his cheeks were flushed and he fiddled with the bottle.
He was less groggy now, though, so I was pleased despite his apparent shame.
A shame I would gladly disperse.
‘Hey,’ I said softly while I perched on the bed, careful not to spook him by getting too close.
He surprised me, however, when I reached over and tangled our fingers together once more.
Still unable to look at me, I considered it progress and a good sign that he wanted me here.
Eventually, he took a deep breath and lifted his chin to meet my eyes.
There was a swarm of emotion swimming in the purple depths, and a sheen of tears that he refused to let fall. ‘Hey.’
I took a risk and scooted closer so the only distance between us was where our hands were intertwined.
He didn’t stop me, so I took it a step further and rested my head on his shoulder.
His hand tightened on mine, but again, he didn’t push me away.
After a beat, he lowered his head to rest on top of mine, the breath from his nose puffing softly against my hair.
‘How are you feeling?’ I asked.
‘Could be better,’ he joked, but it fell flat.
He hesitated a moment before speaking again, this time so low that if I didn’t have enhanced senses, I might not have even heard him.
‘I’m glad you’re here.’
I debated asking the question but eventually decided that if he didn’t want to answer, then he wouldn’t, and I’d leave it at that.
There was no point forcing someone to open up.
He would when he was ready.
I could only keep the door ajar for him to make that decision himself.
‘You were muttering in your sleep.’
He inhaled, slow and deep, before tentatively asking his own question.
‘What did I say?’
‘Something about your mother.
You didn’t want her to leave,’ I all but whispered as if by saying it quietly enough that the impact would be less painful for him.
‘Ah,’ he grunted.
‘Want to talk about it?’
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and breathed in my scent.
I wasn’t sure how great I smelled since I hadn’t yet had a chance to shower off the battle, and I was still covered in blood and dirt that had brushed off on me from the captives.
Namely, Amarantha, and I knew I was going to have to check in on her and Xander soon enough.
Later, though. Cadmus deserved my full attention right now.
He tutted once but adjusted our hands so they were resting on his lap and nuzzled into my hair again.
‘Not really, but I owe you an explanation.’
‘You don’t owe me anything,’ I argued.
‘If you don’t want to talk about it, then don’t.
I won’t judge you for it.
I’ll still be here either way.’
His lips lingered on my temple as he took a shuddering breath, the tension leaving him completely at my words.
‘I want you to know.
I don’t have anything to hide from you, baby.
I love that you want to know more about me. That you care enough to ask.’
I didn’t respond with words.
Instead, I turned my head to the side to capture his lips with my own in a slow, sweet kiss.
He was smiling when we pulled back, a small uptilt to his mouth that quickly disappeared when he found the words he wanted to say.
‘I haven’t had a panic attack since I was a kid.
I used to get them a lot after my mother passed.
My life was vastly different when she was alive.’
When he paused, his eyes taking on a faraway look as he travelled back to the past, seeing something only he could see, I placed my other hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
‘Take your time.’
My voice brought him back to the present and he bumped his nose against mine.
‘I’m okay.
I just haven’t thought about this in a long time.
‘My mother was the heart and soul of my family.
When she passed, there was no one left to keep us together.
Father took a position on the Intergalactic Union Board of Officials, and eventually we moved to the Entario Station and that’s where we stayed.
He grew more distant as the years went on. He stopped paying attention to me all together once the panic attacks hit. Just sent me off to a therapist to deal with who was no help at all. Their only goal was to get more money from my father, and eventually I just stopped going. I pushed all the emotions away until the panic attacks disappeared, and then I just focused on not thinking about her ever again.’
‘Your father…’ I began, unsure how to approach the subject.
He laughed, though it lacked any humour.
It was dark and eery and heartbreaking coming from him.
‘My father has never been an emotional man.
He’d loved us once, but after watching the love of his life succumb to cancer, watching her bright smile and lively personality turn ashen and grey as the cancer progressed until there was nothing left but an empty corpse, I think he just wanted to distance himself from everything. Including me. I understood it at first. He just wanted to protect himself from further pain, but after a while I just wanted my dad back.’
‘But he never did,’ I finished for him.
‘No, he never did.
With each emotion he purged the more distant he became until eventually he was never there at all.
And when he was, I was never enough.
I was the disappointment. The child he regretted having because I was just a constant reminder of the woman and the life he’d lost. Eventually, his apathy turned into cruelty and I found it was just easier to do what he asked of me and live my own life.
‘Unfortunately, his wealth and status was a hindrance to that.
Any dreams I had were crushed beneath the weight of his expectations.
Any friendships I had were shallow, their only goal to get close to the wealth and connections my family had to offer.
I’ve never even had a real girlfriend before, you know. I didn’t trust anyone enough to let them in. Not you.’
My heart was thundering inside my chest for a variety of reasons, but the gushing heat between my legs was solely due to his confession.
Bromm had said something similar to me once, and I wanted nothing more than to be there for them both.
In all ways, though I hastily reminded myself that now was the time for emotional support, not physical.
‘I’m honoured,’ I said, the gravity in my own confession causing his eyes to flash with a lust that matched my own.
Not the time.
Not the time.
Not the time…
‘What triggered it this time, then?’ I asked him instead of rubbing myself against him like an animal in heat.
Hopefully, it would distract both of us enough not to fall into something that was not so helpful when he needed a different type of support.
Emotional support, Artemis.
He needs you to be a safe place, not a horny place.
Though his desire dimmed to a simmer in the background, it didn’t completely disappear.
Still, he took the hint and kept talking.
‘Seeing Reece with his parents.
The kids in those cages.
Xander’s heartbreak at the state his sister was in.
It just reminded me that I’ll never have that. That life, that family, it was taken from me a long time ago.’
I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I swung my leg over his to straddle his lap so I could look him in the eye.
I needed him to hear my words, to truly take them in.
To believe me.
‘You have a family now, Cad.
You’re not alone.
You have me, and you have Bromm.
You have Henrik and the others. We’re your family. We’ll face whatever comes together.’
His eyes shone as they misted with tears, but he still refused to let them fall.
‘You’re my family.’
I nodded firmly.
‘And you’re mine.’
When his head lifted to brush his lips against mine I couldn’t hold back the emotional hurricane inside of me any longer.
He had freely opened himself up to me, shown me those open wounds, and was vulnerable with me in a way I knew he had never been with anyone since his mother had passed.
In this moment, my heart beat a rapid pace just for him.
He was mine, and I was his.
The kiss confirmed it further when his tongue tasted the seam of my mouth.
I opened to allow his entry, my own tongue meeting his halfway as we battled for dominance.
I was on top of him, though, so I won by default.
He moaned into my mouth, the sound low and sexy.
The vibrations of his voice travelled all the way to my clit which pulsed in time with my heavy heartbeats and my hips moved unconsciously to grind against his growing lengths.
With two of the large cocks, they pressed up to rub against my core with ease and I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to fuck more.
Both, I decided.
I wanted one in my pussy and the other in my ass, just like before in the web.
I might not have Bromm’s cock to suck into my mouth, but my lips would be free to continue devouring his.
Before I knew it, our clothes were completely shredded and tossed uncaringly to the side.
The only fabric that remained was his harness, but I neither of us seemed to want to bother with the hassle of those buckles and restraints.
Not when his skin was hot against my own overheated flesh, and wet heat trickled down my leg as my core pulsed with an eagerness we both felt.
‘Fuck, baby.
I need to be inside you,’ he groaned against my lips.
‘Then fuck me, Cadmus.
Make me yours.
Mark me with your seed.
I want it all over me.’
His responding whimper of need almost undid me right there and then.
My walls quivered, clenching around nothing with a painful ache that needed relief, and needed it now.
‘Wait,’ he said breathlessly.
‘Wait, wait, wait.’
It took a moment for the repetitive word to register, but once it did I immediately pulled back and put some space between us.
I was panting heavily, but my nanites helped regulate my breathing and heartrate again in no time.
‘I’m sorry.
That was too much.
I didn’t mean to let things go that far.’
But he was already shaking his head no before I’d finished speaking, reaching out and kneeling before me with the most earnest expression I had ever seen on his face.
‘No, not at all.
I just don’t want this to be quick.
I want to take my time with you, baby. I want to show you what you mean to me. I want to worship you.’
My breath halted in my lungs, the nanites struggling to keep up with my racing pulse. This man…
‘No.’
He froze, then his face shuttered as he sat back.
‘Oh. Okay.’
‘Not because I don’t want that, but because this moment isn’t about me.
I want to do that for you, Cadmus.
I want to show you how much you mean to me.
I want to make you feel so good that you never doubt where you stand with me. I want to claim you so thoroughly that you never have to wonder how I feel about you, because you’ll know that you’re everything.’
I knew he had internalised my words the way I’d intended when those tears he fought so hard to contain finally spilled free, a brilliant smile splitting his face.
‘I know it’s soon,’ he began, cupping my face in his large hands, ‘but I fucking love you.’
‘Cadmus….’ I whispered, my voice catching on the emotion clogging my throat.
‘I’m all yours, baby.
You have my heart.’