CHAPTER 14
Artemis
Bromm and Cadmus were still sleeping when I got up the next morning, my brain already alert before I had even opened my eyes.
They looked so peaceful in their sleep that I couldn’t help but admire them for a while, enjoying the curve of their lips, the way in which their lashes fanned out over their cheekbones, and even how their skin colours complemented each other, pale blue against pastel purple, like they were always meant to make such a beautiful visage in my bed.
The moment was compounded with even more love when Dave Junior responded to my rustling with a yawn and trotted over to sleepily rub his head against my foot.
I delicately extricated myself from the tangle of limbs (and tentacles, since Bromm’s had a habit of seeking me out in in sleep), so I could reach my growing boy for a morning cuddle.
He had been hesitant at first, throwing a strop whenever someone tried to climb into bed with me when he wasn’t allowed, but he had come around eventually.
I had decided early on that allowing co-sleeping habits would only be detrimental in the future when he grew too large to join me in the bed, and despite the few jealousy hiccups, he was learning and behaving himself.
I was a proud Kikshrut mama.
Pulling on my jumpsuit and boots took hardly any time at all with Junior standing back to allow me to finish the tasks, but he eagerly bounced around me when I was ready to leave.
With one last glance back at my sleeping lovers, I couldn’t help but grin when I found they had scooted closer to each other and had entwined themselves together beneath the sheets.
A large part of me wanted to stay for the show when they woke up and realised they weren’t cuddling me, but Junior was insistent and pushed me out the door when his patience ran out.
‘Somebody’s hungry,’ I commented as he led the way to the kitchen.
It was empty since most of the crew would have been asleep still, so I took Junior through to the kitchen to make us a quick breakfast.
There wasn’t much available and since I wasn’t picky about my food I typically just grabbed a Nutri-Bar for nourishment, but there was something about the quiet of the morning and the tentative peace we had found that called for something a little more interesting today.
I whipped up some eggs, cooked a decently sized pile of meat mostly for Junior, though I did take some for myself, and even splurged with some sort of nutty spread on toast.
It wasn’t much, but I figured we deserved a little treat.
There was more than enough food available for the crew and then some, though we were still rationing to ensure we had enough in case of an emergency.
And we were fully expecting one at some point. Hopefully, we could make it to Gerinium before then and set up a base for our little rebel group. A safe place to store those who had gotten caught up in this war simply for their connection to our side.
I was still contemplating this when I pushed through the kitchen doors into the cafeteria and immediately pulled back to avoid crashing into the body that was on the other side and spilling our plates of food.
Lucky for them, because Dave Junior would not have reacted well to that.
‘Shit, sorry,’ a familiar voice said, and took in Tarren Christianson’s haggard state.
His usually neat hair was a greasy, messy mop on top of his head.
Deep grooves of anxiety lined his face, aging him significantly from the young man I knew him to be.
His jumpsuit was wrinkled and put on inside out, and he looked ready to keel over at any moment.
‘What the fuck happened to you?’ The question was out before I could stop it, and I immediately wanted to shove it back in.
‘Oh, uh… nothing,’ he said, but the way his eyes darted around and his cagey response told me more than his words ever could.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked, concern for the man brewing within me despite my distaste for him.
We weren’t friends by any means, only recently graduating from enemies, but I had always had an almost involuntary urge to help people who were struggling.
I could have psychoanalysed that need, but I’d chosen to just go with it, considering it just a personality quirk that was frequently contested by Libby.
She had always warned me against letting my heart lead me, pushing for logical decisions over emotional ones. I had learned the hard way that she was right, but something inside me still pushed to help those I saw suffering.
My bleeding heart was a curse.
He seemed taken aback by my concern.
His head reared back as if I had struck him, which only made my concern for him worse.
‘Don’t even try to lie, Tarren.
Anyone can see that you’re not okay,’ I told him.
‘It’s… I just…’ he stammered, then sighed in defeat.
‘I’m worried about Kat.’
‘From what I’ve gathered from your past actions, that’s nothing new,’ I pointed out, placing Junior’s plate down on the floor by the nearest table, then dropping my plate in the middle.
‘Sit.
Eat. Talk.’
He obeyed the first command with a dazed expression that quickly turned wary as he eyed up the food and the space between us. ‘Why?’
I shrugged, trying not to make a big deal out of it.
Truthfully, I wasn’t sure why I was trying to help him either.
I certainly didn’t owe him anything.
When I didn’t offer him any further explanation, nor did I attempt to break the silence that dragged between us, he finally spoke.
‘She’s on the other ship.
She wanted to stay with the kids and… I don’t know.
What if something’s happened to them and I wasn’t there to help her?’
Ah.
I could comprehend this problem.
I had it all the time with Libby.
‘You’re not the only one responsible for her wellbeing. She made a choice to go with them, and you made a choice to be here. There’s no point in dwelling on what-if’s when you can’t do anything about it. But if it makes you feel any better they would have reached out if something had gone wrong. I think it’s safe to assume that their silence in this instance is a good thing.’
I could see him mulling over my words, though he was still clearly fighting them at the same time.
He couldn’t do anything about his sister, so I figured I’d check in and see where he was at with Reece.
Maybe giving him something to focus on that could be dealt with now would distract him from his worries, if only a little.
‘Have you spoken to Reece, yet?’ I asked before scooping some eggs into my mouth.
I purposefully avoided his gaze in case the scrutiny spooked him.
‘Um… not really, no.’
I lifted a brow but continued chewing, allowing him to gather his thoughts before I could ask for elaboration.
‘What does not really mean?’
He bit his lip, debating continuing the conversation.
As much as I didn’t owe him, he also didn’t owe me anything, either.
His debts were with others.
Like Reece.
I was pleasantly surprised when he picked up a slice of bacon.
I had half expected him to run.
‘I’ve not spoken with him over anything important.
We exchanged words yesterday morning when I was told to collect him to take over for me guarding the prisoners.’
‘Oh? I didn’t realise you had signed up for that.
How are you managing?’ I prompted, wondering if being surrounded by the very people who had perpetuated his sister’s abuse and blackmailed them into malicious acts was part of the reason for his overwhelming concern for Katira.
‘It’s… not as bad as I thought it would be.
They’re mostly silent and still.
I try not to think too much about them.’
‘I haven’t had any reports about them causing any issues, but I don’t trust that they’ll remain easy and compliant,’ I told him.
‘Indeed,’ he agreed.
Neither of us attempted to carry on the conversation after that, but we did continue to polish off the plate.
We ate in comfortable silence.
Dave Junior sniffing around for more food and begging for attention, but he was too cute to deny.
I spent the rest of breakfast with one hand slowly picking up the food and the other scratching between Junior’s ears in that one spot that made him go limp.
‘How do you do that?’ Tarren asked, watching me interact with Junior with a curious glint in his eyes.
I studied him, searching for something malicious or greedy behind the question but found nothing but open intrigue.
‘I was there when he was born.
His father made some sort of mental connection with me, turned to dust, then there was Dave Junior.
He’s been mine ever since.’
‘Oh, so that’s where his name came from.
I wondered,’ he chuckled, and I gawped at the sound.
He shifted uncomfortable in his seat, a light flush covering his cheeks at the attention. ‘What?’
I shook myself free from my surprise.
‘Sorry.
I’ve just never heard you laugh before.
At least not a genuine one.’
He winced.
‘There wasn’t much to laugh about.’
‘No.
There wasn’t, really, was there?’
‘You always seem to find something to laugh about,’ he commented.
I thought it over, scanning through my memories and smiling at the ones I found.
‘Yeah, well, when you’ve lived a life of captivity and torture you tend to latch onto whatever happiness you can find.’
‘Is that what you did with the Griknot prince and the mutt?’ he asked and I scowled at the term.
He didn’t use it with malicious intent this time, but he had used it that way with Reece before that it didn’t sit right coming from him.
‘You really don’t like the concept of mixing the races, do you?’ I replied tersely.
He had enough sense to look ashamed which was the only reason I didn’t stand up and storm off.
‘I actually don’t have a problem with it.’
I scoffed.
‘Your actions speak otherwise.’
His expression dropped even further, a soul deep sadness pushing through to the surface.
‘I’ll admit that in the past I’ve been… less than accepting of those my father has deemed beneath us, but I do not actually share the sentiment.
I guess I was just repeating his words in a feeble attempt to earn his approval, except nothing would have achieved that.’
My anger didn’t completely dissipate, but I understood where he was coming from, from am objective perspective.
‘I’ve never had a family.
Even before The Program took me I had been raised in an orphanage that had all but given up on me.
No one wanted the sick kid because I wasn’t going to last much longer anyway. Even when someone was kind, they distanced themselves. Didn’t want to invite such heartbreak into their lives when I died.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, and he sounded genuine enough that I shot him a small smile.
An olive branch.
‘My point is I didn’t let my time in the orphanage or The Program define me.
It has moulded me into who I am today, sure, but it’s not all that I am.
I have taken the pieces of me that they broke and fitted them back together in a shape of my own choosing.
You have the same choice, Tarren. You choose who you are, even if it’s just to spite them.’
I left him to mull over that little nugget of wisdom, pleased with the way that conversation had gone.
He continued to surprise me.
Our first encounter on The Carina that first night we were forced to share a bunk was worlds away from the man he was revealing himself to be under all that armour.
Perhaps, once he released himself from the restraints his father had placed on him, he could become a truly great man. Until then, I was going to enjoy letting him continue to surprise me.
Now, he just needed to apologise to Reece.
My friend deserved at least that much from the man who had repeatedly made his life hell.
Speaking of…
I ran into Reece on my way to the bridge.
He stepped out of the elevator as I was approaching, a smile lighting up his face as soon as he saw me.
‘Hey.’ He reached out to pet Junior and I chuckled when he growled and Reece snatched his hand back.
‘How are you? I heard you were down below with the riff raff.’
His smile dropped a bit and he tilted his head to the side.
‘Where’d you hear that?’
‘Tarren,’ I admitted.
His smile completely dropped at the mention of his arch nemesis.
‘You speak to him a lot, do you?’
Discomfort buzzed beneath my skin, unsure how I had changed his mood for the worse so quickly.
‘Not really.
We ran into each other in the cafeteria and got talking.’
‘What do you two have to talk about?’ he asked almost sulkily, the accusation thick in his tone but unclear what I was actually being accused of.
‘His sister.
He’s worried about her and doesn’t like being separated.’
Grudging understand smoothed out his features. ‘Oh.’
‘Do you… not want me to talk to him in the future?’ I asked, unsure what was required of me in such a situation.
But I needn’t have worried.
He shook his head, his smile returning even if it wasn’t as bright as before.
‘No, no.
You can talk to whoever you want to, Arty. I just didn’t expect you to choose him for breakfast company.’
‘It wasn’t really much of a choice.
We were the only ones in there.’
‘Right.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to…’ he trailed off, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other.
‘It’s fine.
You know I’m not good at the social stuff.
I didn’t mean to upset you by talking to him.’
‘Oh, not at all.
I didn’t mean… I just… well,’ he sighed.
‘I don’t know.
I guess I was worried you two might hit it off or something,’ he admitted glumly.
‘Hit it off how?’
‘Like with Bromm and Cadmus,’ he clarified which snatched a bark of laughter right out of my chest.
‘Oh, no.
Not a chance.
He hurt you, Reece.
I would never be attracted to someone who hurt the people I care about.’
He didn’t respond with words, but the tender smile he sent my way said more than any words could.
It caused a flutter in my stomach I wasn’t sure how to interpret, so I ignored it for later inspection.
‘Well, I’m heading upstairs.
Would you like to join me?’
He grinned, the light that I had accidentally dimmed returning in full force. ‘Sure.’