Chapter Seventeen
Noah
The next morning, Dad and I are up before the sun to go running.
We used to run together all the time when I was younger, but school and football got in the way, so we didn’t have as much time as we used to.
Now that football season is over and I’ve got some more time, I’m glad we’re spending time together.
But Evie’s words prick the back of my mind. Should I tell my dad? I thought about it all night—couldn’t sleep because of my conflicting emotions—and I decided I’ll talk to him. She’s right that he loves me and wants what’s best for me.
Dad talks about many different things as we run side by side. The area is pretty much empty because of the early hour, which is great because I love hanging out just the two of us.
“You’re quiet,” Dad observes as he glances at me. “Everything okay?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Actually, no, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”
He takes a sip from his water bottle and nods. “Of course you can talk to me about anything. I know you’re graduating high school soon and you’ll be eighteen in a few months, but I hope you’ll always confide in me.”
I nod. “Yeah. So…uh…”
He smiles as he wraps his arm around me, stopping us from running. “I know what this is.”
“You do?”
Did he find out I’m in a band?
“Yeah, you’re nervous to graduate and go to college,” he says. “I felt the same way when I was your age. And I didn’t want to be so far from your mom. But long distance worked out for us and it made seeing each other on weekends and holidays that much more special.”
I force a smile. “Yeah, I am nervous to go to college, but—”
He squeezes me close. “Everything will be okay. You’re going to an amazing school and you’ll meet great people and they’ll teach you and inspire you to chase your football dreams. I wouldn’t have had a successful career in football if it hadn’t been for them and I’m so glad and thankful you’ll get to experience the same thing.
” He wraps both arms around me. “I’m so proud of you, Noah.
And I know you’ll have an amazing life.” He goes on to talk about how wonderful college and pro football was for him and how much it means to him to have me follow in his footsteps
My heart sinks as he continues to tell me over and over how proud he is of me and what a great son he has.
I can’t tell him. I just can’t disappoint him like that. I know it’s my life, not his, but my dad is my hero. He’s been with me every second of every day since I was born. I can’t hurt him. Evie might call me a coward, and maybe I am. But it’s important to me that my dad is happy.
Maybe I can learn to love football as much as I love music.
After all, a music career is looking really fuzzy right now.
Evie and I fixed the song, but is it any good?
And it’s so hard to make it as a musician.
I’ve got Dad on my side and he has many connections that could propel my football career.
No. I’ve made my decision. Music is my passion, but football is my future.
Dad stops talking and claps me on the back. “Are you sure you’re okay? You know I’m here for you.”
I force a smile. “I know, Dad. Thanks. And yeah, I’m good.”
We continue running for a while, chatting about football, of course, and many other topics.
“There it is.” Dad nods in the distance, where there is a park full of many trees and several boulders.
I know this spot. Dad took Mom here to see the sunrise when they were in high school. They’ve told us this story more than once.
Dad’s dad also took him and his brother Brock here. And later, Aunt Bailey. Another Barrington tradition. Dad would love to run with Chloe and Rylee, too, but there’s no getting them out of bed this early.
Dad gestures for me to follow him as we climb onto one of the boulders and sit down side by side.
The sun is starting to rise, painting the sky with orange and red colors. I’m not a very visual person, but it’s beautiful. No wonder my parents love reminiscing about this moment.
Dad grins at me. “As you know, this park holds a very special place in my heart. I’d bring your mom here more often, but nothing could get her up before the sun these days. I was barely able to get her up the first time.” He chuckles as his mind seems to wander to many, many years ago.
I turn toward the sunrise, smiling at its beauty, and take in this moment with my dad. I know we’ll still be close after I go off to college, but it won’t be the same. I’m glad I have this memory and will cherish it forever.
After a bit, Dad turns to me with a lifted brow. “Maybe one day you’ll bring a girl here, too.”
I scoff, though inside I’m wondering if that’s true. Maybe there will be a special girl in my life one day and maybe we’ll create our own memories here like my parents.
Dad bangs his shoulder into mine. “You never know.” He holds up his hands. “But no pressure, of course. You’ll meet her when you’re ready and when the time is right.”
“Yeah. I’m just focusing on school and graduation right now.” And my music, of course.
Dad’s eyes get a bit glassy as he stares at the rising sun. He gets like this when he thinks about the future and how much my sisters and I have grown. Mom told me he was the same way when Aunt Bailey was growing up.
“Dad…”
He wraps an arm around me, pulling me to his chest. “I just love you so much, Noah,” he tells me.
“You and your sisters and your mom.” He draws back, staring into my eyes.
“You mean the world to me. And now you’re all grown up and will be attending college in only a few months.
” He shakes his head. “Where has the time flown?” He mutters the last bit to himself.
“And next Chloe will be off to college and then Rylee and then…”
I place my hand on his shoulder. “Take a deep breath and relax, Dad. I’ll be away, but I won’t be gone. You guys can’t get rid of me that easily.” I pause. “And you’ll come to my football games.”
His smile is wide. “Of course. I’ll be the one cheering the loudest from the stands.” His arm comes around me again and he pulls me close.
We remain on the boulder, watching the beautiful sight, before it’s time for us to return home.
Once we do, I take a shower and get ready for school.
Watching the sunrise relaxed and distracted me, but everything comes crashing down as I drive.
I can’t stop thinking about what Evie said and what I didn’t do today. I really am a coward.
Speaking of Evie, she’s leaning on my locker when I walk into the school building.
“You’re early again,” I say.
She pulls off the locker. “I had to know how it went with your dad this morning. Did you tell him?”
Swallowing, I do the combination on my locker and pull the door open. “No.”
She groans. “Noah.”
“I tried, but I couldn’t, okay? Just forget it.”
“But—”
“Evie, please drop it. It’s like you said—it’s my life. So I’m asking you not to get involved.”
She doesn’t say anything, though her eyes are ablaze like she wants to. I grab my books from my locker and head to my first class, even though it won’t start for another fifteen minutes.
I can feel Evie’s eyes on my back, but I don’t turn around.
***
“Hey,” Chloe says as she climbs into my car after school. She just finished working on the paper, The Edenbury High Times, with her team. As the editor-in-chief, she’s quite busy, but the work is rewarding and she loves it.
She takes after Mom, who writes for the Edenbury Press, our town’s local newspaper. Chloe’s hoping to attend a college with a great journalism program, maybe the one Mom went to.
“Thanks for driving me home,” Chloe says, pulling the seatbelt across her body. “Liam, Lily, and Evie are going to the cemetery with their parents to visit their grandparents.”
Evie’s grandparents on her dad’s side died when Zack was fourteen. I know what it’s like not to know all your grandparents, since my mom’s mom died when she was thirteen. I guess that’s another thing Evie and I have in common.
“No problem,” I tell my sister as I pull out of the student parking lot. “How was your day?”
“Good. Yours?”
Other than the fact that Evie kept giving me looks.
She didn’t say anything but the message was clear.
She’s disappointed with me. I don’t know why she cares so much what I do with my life.
Maybe because she’s an artist and knows what it’s like to be passionate about something. But passion doesn’t pay the bills.
If LRG class has taught me anything, it’s to prepare for the future. I do want to get married and have a family one day, and I need to provide for them. I want my kids to have every opportunity, just like I did. That starts with a good college and then a stable career.
“Noah? You okay?” Chloe asks, brown eyes wide with curiosity and concern. “You got all stiff and weird.”
Clearing my throat, I focus on the road. “I’m fine. How’s the paper going?”
She groans as she bangs her head on the window. “The hardest part is coming up with engaging stories. Keeping the readers interested. It’s just…gah.”
I know exactly what she means. Keeping an audience invested in my songs is no easy feat.
I offer her an encouraging smile. “But you’re a phenomenal editor-in-chief and I know you’ll come up with great stories.”
“I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I frown. “I say sweet things all the time. I’m the perfect older brother.”
She rolls her eyes. “More like an overprotective older brother, but you know I love you.”
“And I love you. That’s why I’m so protective of you and Rylee.”
“While I appreciate it, I can take care of myself.”
I know she can. But she and Rylee are my little sisters. I think I’ll always worry about them.
“So…how’s it going with Liam?” I ask after a little while.
She beams. “Good. He’s awesome and I love him so darn much it drives me insane. He’s nervous for his internship at Chef Robinson’s restaurant this summer, but he’s also looking forward to it. I’m so excited for him. He’s living his dream, you know?”
I swallow the lump in my throat as I grip the steering wheel a bit too tightly. “I’m also excited for him.”
“I’ll tell him, thanks. Ooh, he’s texting me.” She taps on her phone. “He says thanks for being excited for him.” She grins at me. “You really are a good older brother, even though you stifle me sometimes.”
“Thanks, I guess? Are you going to miss your stifling brother when he’s away at college?”
She playfully rolls her eyes as she bangs her fist into my arm. “Of course I will, Noah. The house won’t be the same without you.”
I smile. “I’ll miss you guys, too. But you know you can always call me if you need anything.”
She nods. “Thanks.”
We reach our house and I drop her off before heading to Wyatt’s for band practice.